I was at his funeral. They had asked me to sing, which was a better idea than a speech because it would be hard to find many nice things to say about him. I originally was going to "No Matter What" by Papa Roach as affirmation to my mom, but there was one line that was inappropriate. The good news was they caught the killer.
Speak to me, so I can understand your tongue
You seem rather fragile
It's been said it's cold beyond the sun
Have you ever been there?
Communicating thoughts of ways to never have to speak again
Let me be the fire in your head
Bring what's yours, I'll take what's mine and meet you on the other side
We'll leave a sign so anyone can find us
A better place, a sweeter time we won't need any wings to fly
A place beyond the sun
Sun…
Communicating thoughts of ways to never have to speak again
Let me be the fire in your head
Bring what's yours, I'll take what's mine and meet you on the other side
We'll leave a sign so anyone can find us
A better place, a sweeter time we won't need any wings to fly
A place beyond the sun
At school, everyone seemed to be nervous around me. I guess everyone knowing doesn't make things easy. I think people were worried about saying the wrong thing. I didn't like the guy, but I didn't want him to die. I took a seat and everyone was quiet. Was this a moment of silence? Finn was there with Mr. Schue. He wasn't writing anything.
"Charlie, I've decided that I'm going to let you pick our theme for this week." He declared.
I wasn't prepared or anything, but I decided to write my favorite genre of music on the board.
"What's Post-grunge?" Jake asked.
"It's a style of rock music that first came about with the death of Kurt Cobain. One of the most famous acts is Foo Fighters." Mr. Schue explained. "It's still going on today, with many of today's rock bands emulating this style. Charlie, would you like to demonstrate?"
Memories are just where you laid them
Drag the waters till the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find? Was it something that you left behind?
Don't you remember anything I said when I said
Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding in my hands
In my hands, love lies bleeding
And I wanted, you turned away
You don't remember but I do
You never even tried
Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding
In my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding in my hands
In my hands, love lies bleeding
I then walked out of the room. I was really worn out with all of this. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want all of these people showing me sympathy. I hate sympathy.
Later, I was in my room with Sam, it was the one place that I could really cry. Sam was holding me while I wept on my bed. I explicitly told him that I didn't want him to sing to me at the moment.
"Why do I feel so upset over someone that I hated so much?" I asked him.
"He was still your dad and even though you didn't get along, you probably still cared for him." Sam opined. I'm not sure if that was true. Maybe I was upset for my mom.
I decided that I wanted to handle my grief in a certain way and Sam agreed to it. He was too good for me and I knew it. I was just grateful that he wanted to stay with me. I didn't deserve him.
"Why do you love me?" I asked him. "I mean you could obviously have any girl that you want, so why me?"
"I don't know if I can put it in words exactly." He admitted. "I just know that I love you and I don't want to be with anyone else."
The following night, my mom was throwing a dinner party. I really didn't want to go to that. I couldn't take any more sympathy, so I was going to avoid it. I decided to head to the pool at school. After I was done swimming, I went to the locker room. It stripped off my swimsuit when all of a sudden I heard some singing. It walked closer and saw that it was Ryder's girlfriend, Katie. I would have said something, but I didn't want to have an awkward moment like Beca and Chloe did.
This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late
Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around cause it's not too late
It's never too late
The world knew won't come back
The time we've lost can't get back
The life we had won't be as I came
This world will never be what I expected
And if I don't belong…
Even if I say it'll be alright
Still I hear you say you want to end your life
Now and again we try to just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around cause it's not too late
It's never too late
"That was amazing." I told her.
"Oh my God." Katie declared as she jumped. It was at that moment that I noticed that I was still naked. We were having a Pitch Perfect moment. I blushed, but it was too late to do anything now.
"Does Ryder know that you can sing like that?" I questioned. I was pretty sure that she was trying not to stare at my boobs.
"No, I can't concentrate unless you put some clothes on." She told me. I guessed that it would be at least a good idea to cover up with a towel.
"I'm sorry about that." I apologized.
"I never thought that I would live a scene out of Pitch Perfect." Katie admitted. "What are you doing here?"
"Well my mom was having a dinner party at my house and I really just wanted to be anywhere else." I explained. "I don't know if Ryder told you this, but my dad died over Spring Break."
She then stepped out of the shower and hugged me.
"Umm…" I remarked, since she was still naked. Now we were both blushing.
"I'm going to get dressed." She declared nervously as she walked away. That was kind of weird. I guess I was glad that we got a chance to bond. I mean I barely see her during the day. We're in the same Geometry class, but that's not a class that involves a lot of talking because the teacher is a bitch.
The next day, Marley and Jake were singing a song together. Jake was singing lead and playing guitar.
Prison gates won't open up for me on these hands and knees I'm crawling
And oh I reach for you
Well I'm terrified or these four walls these iron bars can't hold my soul
And all I need is you (come please I'm calling)
And oh I scream for you (Hurry I'm falling, I'm falling )
Show me what it's like (to be the last one standing)
And teach me wrong from right (and I'll show what I can be)
And Say it for me, say it to me (and I'll leave this life behind me)
Say it if it's worth savin' me
Heaven's gates won't open up for me with these broken wings I fall
And all I see is you
These city walls aint got no love for me I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And all I scream for you (come please I'm calling)
And all I need from you (Hurry I'm falling , I'm falling)
Show me what it's like (to be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right (and I'll show what I can be)
Say it for me, say it to me (and I'll leave this life behind me)
Say it if it's worth savin' me
I really thought that everyone hated Nickelback. I guess I was wrong. It was refreshing to hear it.
So after school, Marley decided to take me shopping. You know retail therapy wasn't something that I thought that she would suggest considering that it's generally done by people who have money, which Marley does not.
"So how are you?" She asked.
"I'm at a point where I really wish that people would stop asking me how I am." I snapped. She seemed shocked. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to take it out on you."
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised." Marley admitted. "I thought what it's like to lose your dad, but my dad died when I was younger and I didn't know how to feel because I was too young to grasp it then."
"I didn't know that your dad was dead." I declared.
"I barely remember him." Marley said. "I was 5 when it happened. So let's change the subject. Can you believe that Alison has been alive this whole time?"
"I actually can." I declared. "I mean ever since she saw Hanna in the hospital, it always felt like she was really there. I just want to know who saved her."
"There's also something that I was thinking about." She stated. "I really think that we should sing an original song for Regionals. I don't know if I can write one, though."
"Well it would be cool if we did." I agreed. "I'll see if I can write something, but we may need to prepare not to have any. We don't even know if Mr. Schue will like the idea."
The next day in Glee, I decided to talk to Ryder before Mr. Schue got there.
"So did you know that your girlfriend is an amazing singer?" I asked him.
"No, I've never heard sing before." Ryder stated. "When did you?"
"We were both in the locker room and she was singing in the shower, probably because she didn't know that I was there." I explained. "You should talk to her about joining Glee Club sometime."
Before he could respond, Mr. Schue came in and Sam wanted to sing something. It was one of my favorite songs. I smiled as the music began to play.
If I had to, I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask would you like that, would you like that
No I don't mind, if you say this love is the last time
So now I'll ask would you like that, would you like that
No…
Something's getting in the way, something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the Diary of Jane
As I burn another page, as I look the other way
I still try to find my place in the Diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be
Desperate I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love
Dying for anyone
What have I become?
Something's getting in the way, something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the Diary of Jane
As I burn another page, as I look the other way
I still try to find my place in the Diary of Jane
I knew that I needed to give Sam a hug after that. I needed to move on from this. I wanted to move on from this. I could get better. Sam would help me get better. Maybe I didn't deserve him, so I wanted him.
I guess it was a spur of the moment, but I felt the need to start singing to him.
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
But God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
How do you feel, that is the question
But I forget that you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded like paper dolls and little notes
Can't expect a bit of hopes
So while you're outside looking in, describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me
Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
But God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
Sam joined in at that point.
And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you
I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
But God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
But God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you, yeah
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you, yeah
And it's the stars, the stars that shine for you, yeah
And it's the stars, the stars that lie to you, yeah
Oh and the stars, oh and the stars they lie
You know I think I could write a song. I think I could write a song about how I love Sam. It might not be the best song ever, but I could do this. I could do this. I guess that I should probably run this by him first to make sure that he's okay with it. I hope that he is. Right now I just kissed him. I hope that I can write a good song, even though the stakes aren't high.
So we got our first chance to really meet Katie. We didn't get to find out a lot about her, but she and Charlie had a Pitch Perfect moment. Also the original song will be going forward. The next chapter is going to have the same name, but it's going to be about One-hit wonders instead of Stevie Wonder. The songs in this chapter are "Beyond the Sun" by Shinedown, "Hemorrhage" by Fuel, "Never Too Late" by Three Days Grace, "Savin' Me" by Nickelback, "The Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin and "Through Glass" by Stone Sour. Please don't forget to review.