I was laughing as Sylvia and I stumbled into the common room through the portrait hole, but that didn't last. As soon as we were there, my eyes had immediately sought out the ever-present James. It didn't take me long to find him, as he was seated in a far corner of the room with Sirius. I couldn't make him out well from my vantage point, but I could tell from his posture alone that James wasn't himself.
"Sylvia," I started weakly, "I —"
"I know," she said with an eye roll in James direction, "I see him. Go ahead."
I didn't wait for her to tell me twice. As I approached the boys, their positions became clearer to me. James was hunched forward, his dark hair obscuring his face, hands in front of him as he gripped something firmly. His eyes were staring off into the distance, seeing nothing; they looked dead. Sirius was also leaning forward, but that was because he was speaking and trying to get James's attention.
As I made my way closer, I could hear Sirius say, "You don't know how bad it is. Maybe this is an overreaction, and she'll be back at home tomorrow." It was peculiar to hear him sound so supportive, but he obviously wanted James to listen to him and at least consider what he was saying.
"What's going on?" I asked as I appeared over their shoulders.
Sirius quickly looked at me, then back to James. Clearly he wasn't telling me anything that James wasn't first going to say for himself.
Still staring blankly ahead of him, James thrust his hand out sideways, offering me a piece of parchment. I took it gently, as it looked ready to fall apart. The words, shakily written to begin with, were wearing away because the letter had been folded and crumpled so many times already.
Anxious to know what had cause James to look so desolate, I began to read.
James,
They've taken mum to the hospital. Healers can't seem to figure out what's wrong with her. It could be something as simple as a case of dragonpox gone wrong, but with how fragile she's been, even that could be serious. They don't know how bad she is. It pains me to say this, but I think you deserve the truth and so I have to let you know that I think she looks awful. She's lost the light in her eyes, and she's very weak.
If you'd like to come visit — I'm sure that would make mum very happy — I've already spoken with Dumbledore. He'd be happy to work with you in order to get you here safely.
Please write me back and let me know how you're doing. I will keep sending updates as I learn new information.
Love, Dad
I held the letter in my hands for a moment after I was done reading, shaking. "You have to go," I said quietly. James looked up at me when he heard my broken tone, and I passed the letter back to him. "You have to."
I quickly disappeared from where I was standing, leaving both James and Sirius staring after me. I was back less than a minute later, firmly clutching my own stack of letters.
Sirius rounded on me. "Evans, what do you —"
I split my stack of letters in half, giving some to James and some to Sirius, hoping to shut them up. They were almost identical to the one James had just passed me. I'd read them all so many times that they were falling apart, and I had their contents memorized.
Lil,
Dad's in the hospital. We don't think there's any need to worry. He experienced some chest pain when he was mowing the lawn earlier, and we just wanted to get him checked out. I'll keep you posted.
Love, Mum
Lily,
They've been running tests all day. Perhaps a mild heart attack. Are you holding up alright? I'll let you know more when I can.
Love, Mum
Lily,
It's been a few days since I've heard from you. Dad would really love to see you and hear your voice. We're sure he'll be recovered soon, and summer is so close that if it's too difficult to get home now we understand. You should try to at least find a way to make a phone call.
Love, Mum
Lily,
Things got very bad last night. Please call. There has to be a phone somewhere in that school of yours. At least write me back.
Love, Mum
"The letters kept coming," I began to explain quietly, knowing that Sirius and James were both looking at me now, "and I kept ignoring them as denial overcame me. Eventually, my mum went so far as to make an appointment with Dumbledore. They arranged for me to see my dad in the hospital, and I didn't go. I couldn't make myself face him, and now he's gone." I swallowed hard, choking back the tears that always seemed to find me when I talked about my dad. "I regret it every day. James, you have to go see your mum."
"When was this?" James asked me quietly, completely ignoring my instructions. It was the first time he'd spoken since I'd found him.
"5th year," I replied quietly. "You wouldn't remember. I was in denial the whole time, and I didn't talk about it."
"What happened?"
"One day the letters stopped showing up, and the next day my mum was here to break the news to me." I paused and repeated for the third time, "James, you have to go see your mum."
He stared at me, his eyes boring into my very soul. Finally he said gruffly, "You have to come with me."
"What?" I asked quickly, caught off guard. I didn't know James's mum, other than what I'd heard about through stories. I was supposed to be meeting her officially over the winter holidays.
"You have to come," he said again, maintaining his quiet tone. "We'll make our peace together."
I considered him for a moment, and then my head began nodding in consent. "Together," I repeated. It didn't sound so bad.