Chapter 5
Her surroundings were beautifully familiar; the wide lake, the tall oak trees and the lush green of the grass. Even the smell made a wide smile stretch across her lips. She was sitting in Hogwarts grounds.
'Well it's about time you woke up' a laughing voice sounded, that was music to her ears.
'Lil?' she called in confusion, and blinked when the startling combination of red hair and green eyes invaded her vision.
'Who else would it be?' she shook her head.
'But you're...you're supposed to be...'
'I'm supposed to be what?' Lily interrupted, frowning in confusion.
'Uh...nothing. Nothing' Alina shook her head.
'Sometimes I swear you just live to confuse me Alli' she grinned 'now, let's go!'
Alina felt herself pull away from Lily's grasp as she tried to pull her to her feet.
'Where are we going?' she asked suspiciously, noticing the familiar blush of discomfort colouring Lily's pale cheeks; a sure sign that she was avoiding, or already, telling a lie.
'Just...Just come on!' Lily continued.
But she didn't want to go anywhere. She was comfortable in the familiar safety of the grounds. She didn't want to be taken anywhere else.
'No, Lil, please just stay here...please!' she grasped her friends hand desperately, her eyes pleading.
She saw Lily bite her lip, her face showing how clearly torn she was. After a brief pause she crouched back down in front of Alina, bringing her gaze level to her friend's.
'Alli' she began, her voice now far more serious 'we both know I can't stay here for much longer'
'But why not?' Alina questioned, almost flinching at the clear desperation of her tone.
'You know why Alli...do you really want me to say it?'
Alina shook her head, ignoring the childish urge to cover her ears.
'Okay' she sighed, climbing slowly to her feet 'where are we going?'
'I'm taking you to Sirius' Lily smiled, although her eyes swam with sadness 'come on.'
Holding hands, as if they were children, Lily and Alina walked slowly towards the forest.
Alina grimaced at the sight of the trees, twisted grotesquely into a tangled mass, the vivid darkness that radiated through the cracks and the flash of movement she kept catching out of the corner of her eyes.
'I don't want to go in there Lil, can't I come with you?' she asked quietly, tightening her grasp on Lily's hand.
'I know you don't Alli...' Lily spoke sadly 'it doesn't look pretty does it?' she added thoughtfully.
Alina opened her mouth to plead with her friend again, when a distant shout interrupted her.
'ALLI?'
Both hers and Lily's heads jerked back towards the forest simultaneously.
'It's time for you to go Alli' Lily told her gently, her voice thick with emotion.
'No...no I don't want to leave you again Lil' Alina whispered, turning back to her friend.
Blue eyes met with green eyes, both identical with the anguish they shared.
'But we get to say goodbye this time Alli' Lily smiled, the tears escaping her eyes.
'ALLI!'
Alina ignored the sound of his voice and pulled Lily into a tight embrace.
'I love you and I miss you' she whispered hurriedly.
'I love you too Alli' Lily replied 'now go!'
'ALLI?'
This time she didn't ignore his cries, instead she pulled away from her best friend, and walked away from her sanctuary and straight into the darkness of the forest.
'Alli?'
His voice was suddenly softer, and so much closer.
She felt her eyes flutter and cursed herself.
Did she want to open her eyes? Could she face seeing him again?
She had lived and breathed for this moment for so many years and suddenly, with it here right before her, it seemed terrifying.
'Alli, please open your eyes' he sighed.
Something in his tone, so desperate and defeated and so unlike Sirius, forced her to take the plunge and with a deep breath she forced her eyes to open fully.
She became aware of very little apart from the brightness. As the excruciating whiteness of the light seared into her eyes she tried to scream out. She pushed with her lungs and opened her mouth but no sound came out, instead she could hear jagged panting and gasping sounds, as if her voice box no longer had the strength to cry out. She pushed harder, with everything in her, closing her eyes to hide from the light.
She had been tricked.
'Not...white. Not...white' she heard herself cry through her gasps.
'Alina? Alli calm down'
She felt two firm hands grasp her shoulders tightly and sheer terror flooded through her.
It was all a dream.
She was back, once again, in her white prison.
'NO!' she screamed, lashing out with her mind.
The cry of shock and resounding thump coincided with her springing up, her eyes wide open and the world suddenly clear.
She was in a dark room, the walls black rather than white and plastered with posters of...muggle girls?
The confusion was brief, for as a deep groan sounded from the corner, the door burst open and Alina found herself staring at the ends of four wands.
She saw nothing but the wands, she did not even allow her mind to distract her by thoughts, she bent her knees into a defensive stance and prepared for a fight.
She was not going to be locked up again.
'Sit down, just stay calm!' she heard an unfamiliar voice command.
Clearly they didn't understand; she was perfectly calm.
She could hear her attackers mumbling to each other, she didn't understand why they hadn't attacked yet.
She flexed her hands in preparation, keeping her eyes focused on each of the extended wands.
'Stupefy!'
'NO!'
She blocked the red light easily, with the barest ache in her head, but it was the shout of protest that threw her off.
Her glance quickly shot to the source of the sound and her eyes widened with shock at the sight of Sirius grimacing in pain as he attempted to climb to his feet.
'Don't stun her...don't' he growled.
'S-Sirius?' she stuttered.
And then the previous night came flooding back.
She remembered the forest, Sodales, Dumbledore. She remembered being brought to the new Headquaters, to seeing Sirius and...James?
With fresh eyes, she turned back to her attackers and was surprised to recognise one of them.
'Mad-Eye?' she squinted.
'Alina' he nodded curtly, both his normal and magical eye scrutinizing her.
'You know it's not polite to greet someone by trying to stun them' she told him with a forced casualness, her stance remaining tense.
'Well it's not wise to trust someone who has just sent one of our side flying across the room' he retorted back.
Flying across the room? One of their side?
Once again her eyes flickered over to Sirius and she realised it had been him she had attacked.
Finally, she forced her body to relax and herself to sit back down on the bed, her eyes trained on them warily.
'Now, Alina –'Moody began, the sound of his wooden leg echoing around the room as he started to approach her.
'You are not interrogating her now, Mad-eye' Sirius interrupted, moving across the room so that he stood in front of her.
'Sirius, she could be one of them by now –'
'Dumbledore has already spoken with her Mad-Eye, and I doubt he'd allow her passage if he wasn't certain it was safe, do you?' a calm voice sounded from the hallway, and Alina's head jerked up in response.
'Remus?' she called, her voice suddenly thick, and her head starting to spin with all of the emotions running through her.
'Hello Alli' she heard him reply.
'Get out, now! She doesn't need all of you crowding her!' Sirius spoke loudly, walking towards them and forcing them to leave the room 'and Fred and George if you want to keep that extendable ear I recommend you remove it now before I snap it!'
SLAM.
The door had swung shut, and the silence became deafening.
Her stomach filled with knots, and her heart was almost painful in its thumping movements, she glanced up at Sirius, whose back was still to her and his hand still grasping the door knob. Tightly.
'I'm sorry...for...erm...throwing you...' she mumbled lamely.
Slowly he turned to face her, his face filled with an emotion that took her breath away, before he grinned lightly.
'It's not like you haven't done worse to me before.' He told her 'how are you feeling?' he added quickly.
'Fine!' she replied quickly, and then shrugged at his look of disbelief 'i've been worse'
He nodded in response and the silence once again ensued.
'Do you –'
'Last night –'
They both spoke in unison, and laughed awkwardly.
'You first –'
'You first –'
They began again, and Alina shook her head.
'Weird' she muttered.
'You go first' Sirius grinned gently, and Alina averted her gaze from his grey eyes as her stomach gave a flip.
His face was gaunt, his hair no longer held the same shine it once did, and his eyes held ghosts that she doubted he would ever lose, but he was Sirius. And her heart still recognised that.
'Last night...I – well –'
She didn't want to say the words, that she had seen James, because she was scared what they meant.
Was he truly alive? Had the Death Eater's been tricked and the events of Halloween never actually happened?
'It wasn't James, Alli' Sirius spoke softly, she did not miss the longing in his voice.
'But –'
'-It was Harry.'
Harry. She had seen Harry.
'Harry' she whispered 'he looks so much...so much like...'
'I know' Sirius smiled 'but you didn't see his eyes Alli...they're so green, so much like –'
'Don't' she whispered, closing her eyes.
She felt the touch of his rough hands enclose her own and gently squeeze.
'You know what happened?'
She nodded sharply, not trusting her voice.
'You know it was Peter?'
'Of course I know it was him! Why do you think he got them to take me?' she snapped, her eyes flying open and her breathing heavy.
'Sorry' she added quickly, feeling immediately bad 'I didn't mean to snap...'
'It's fine' he responded quickly 'and Alli...i'm so sorry. So, so sorry I didn't get there in time to stop them –' he began, his voice cracking as he spoke and his eyes filled with regret.
'Sirius, don't' she interrupted, locking her eyes with his 'you couldn't have stopped them.'
Silence filled the room again, but this time it didn't seem so awkward, not with her hand entwined with his.
'So...the Order?'
'Yep, not that I have much to do with it, i'm not allowed to leave the premisis what with being a 'wanted man' and everything' he spoke bitterly, and she could sense his frustration.
'And Remus is here...where's Alice?' she asked keenly.
She could see it written in his face the second he faltered in his response. She saw the pity and sadness and she felt her heart sink in her chest.
'When did it happen?' she asked quietly.
'She...her and Frank...after the war Bellatrix wanted to find out what happened to Voldemort, she believed they might have known.' His eyes carefully studied her expression as if searching for any sign of a breakdown, she forced her face to remain painfully blank.
'Her and her husband, they tortured Alice and Frank for information...' he paused and sighed, running his hands over his face.
'So they killed them?' the words felt like venom to her lips.
'No...not exactly no' he hesitated 'they were tortured into insanity'
He said the last part quickly, as if hearing it fast would lessen the pain; it didn't.
Her stomach lurched and throwing her head to the side of the bed she proceeded to vomit. It was painful, considering her stomach was empty and there was nothing of any substance to sick up, but the pain helped. It countered the grief that ripped at her throat, at her fingers, at every fibre of her body.
When she finished, as she sat shakily on the bed, gasping for breath, she felt his arms wrap round her body, she felt him pull her towards him and onto his lap.
And as she finally allowed the tears to come, she felt something she had only imagined hearing for fourteen years; Sirius' heartbeat.
'So who do you think she is?' Hermione asked.
They were sitting in the room that Harry and Ron shared, accompanied by Fred, George, Ginny and a pair of extendable ears.
'Well Sirius obviously knows her' Fred replied.
'And she knows Remus because she recognised his voice and she spoke to Mad-Eye' George added.
'Maybe she was in the first Order with them?' Ginny suggested.
'Well that would make sense, if she knew Sirius, Remus and Mad-Eye.' Hermione added.
'And she knew Harry's dad! She must have to have gotten them confused...' Ginny responded.
'So she's a nutter then?' Ron asked 'that's gotta be it right? I mean anyone sane would know it couldn't be your dad!'
'Tactful Ron' Hermione muttered, rolling her eyes before continuing 'and no it does not mean she's a 'nutter'. Harry said that she looked in a bad way, didn't you Harry? That could mean something had happened to her...'
'Sorry, what?' Harry jumped, blinking himself back to reality and out of his own thoughts.
'I said' Hermione began, rolling her eyes, 'that you said she looked in a bad way?'
'Oh, well yeah she was really thin...and dirty – kind of how Sirius used to be...but she wasn't...well, she didn't look...bad' he added lamely, his cheeks growing warm.
'So what you're saying is...' Fred began, a broad grin spreading across his mischievous face.
'- that she's fit!' George concluded triumphantly.
'Oh for goodness sake! No that is not what Harry meant, is it Harry?' Hermione scathed, turning to Harry expectantly.
'I – erm – I'm going to talk to Remus!' Harry jumped up from the bed, making a quick escape from Hermione's disapproving glare.
He made his way out into the hallway and inhaled a deep breath of air. He had felt suffocated in the room and was relieved to be alone to collect his own thoughts.
He was itching to find out exactly who that woman had been, especially now that he was certain she had known his father. And the way Sirius had reacted to her, he was positive there was a story there, and he was desperate to know what it was.
Apart from a few of his father and the rest of the 'Marauder's' escapades at school, Harry knew very little about his parent's growing up. He knew almost just as little about Sirius and Remus.
Perhaps this woman would be another key into the past, and would provide him with information that he was thirsty for.
As he passed Sirius' bedroom on the floor below, he paused for a moment to see if he could detect any sound from within. Faintly he could hear the sound of a low murmuring and...quiet sobs? Immediately, he felt embarrassed at his intrusion of their privacy, and moving quietly he continued to the ground floor. Sirius would tell him who she was soon enough...wouldn't he?
'Are you sure you want to go down for dinner...we could bring it up here for you? And just, well talk...' Sirius asked her, trailing off of his words at the end.
'Sirius' she spoke softly, her tongue revelling at the words on her lips, 'we have a lot to talk about and we have time to do it. But right now, it would be nice to pretend at normalcy'
She saw his look of brief disappointment, and she knew there were so many questions he had for her; which was why she was avoiding staying alone in the room with him.
At some point he would ask her questions, questions that would be too difficult to answer, and would force her to speak the words that would break both of their hearts.
Could he love her? Would he be able to ever look at her again if he knew that she had been unable to protect their child?
She shuddered at the words, and forced the memory from her mind...the screaming, the blood...
'That's fine' he smiled 'but I warn you, the dignified dinner affairs of the previous order are nothing compared to the current one..'
'Dignified?' she snorted 'I seem to recall Moody attempting to kill you after you turned all the meatballs in the spaghetti into an exact copy of his eye –'
Sirius grinned at the memory 'well like I said, this lot are in competition...you haven't met the Weasley twins!'
'Fred and George?' Alina asked eagerly, remembering them as babies.
'Yep' he replied 'most people refer to them as the devil spawn...I prefer the term 'brilliant'' he laughed, pulling her up from the bed so that she was standing before him.
A brief pause left them staring into each other's eyes, both suddenly very aware of the avoidance of important issues, but Alina broke the eye contact and Sirius cleared his throat, and one minute later they were making their way down to the kitchen.
The sound of hustle bustle radiated from the kitchen and the sound sent warmth through Alina's skin. It sounded so homely and friendly; sounds that she hadn't heard in fourteen years.
Suddenly she was bombarded with a wave of nerves, and without thinking she stretched her hand out and clung to Sirius'.
She felt him freeze for a moment in surprise, and in turn she bit her lip at her brashness, but sneaking a glimpse up at him she was greeted with his familiar lopsided grin; a ghost of the cocky school boy she had fallen in love with.
'Don't worry, they don't bite' he told her, smirking.
'I'm not nervous' she replied stubbornly.
'Yeah...right' he replied, in such a familiar condescending tone that she both wanted to kiss him and hit him.
How is it possible to still feel this way?
Shrugging off the thought, she stepped forward with far more confidence than she felt, and opened the kitchen door.
At her appearance, the hustle bustle of the kitchen and the friendly chatter all stopped as everyone turned to stare at her.
A deep silence replaced the chatter.
Shit.
A/N: Thank you SO much for all your reviews! I couldn't believe the response when I got home I really appreciate it! Your reviews got me so motivated that despite landing yesterday evening I have spent all day today writing this for you all! And I am about to begin the next one now!
I concentrated on getting this one out immediately but will respond to all of your reviews as soon as possible!
Thank you so much!