Once again, let me just say how very sorry I am for the delay! Lately I've been bogged down with so much homework, exams, and essays... Who knew college life could be so busy? Just kidding there, but seriously I've been hard-pressed to find time to work on this fic. I might have to just start updating it whenever I can find the time to do so, and not every Friday like I'd originally planned.

So, uh, hello, everyone. We've finally reached (at least in my opinion) one of the best moments in-game for Shepard and Tali. As always, I've taken the liberty of adding a few additional lines of dialogue and scenes that would've improved the overall experience (for myself at least). I hope that's okay... Also, I'd originally planned for this chapter and the next chapter to be only one chapter, but it turned out to be such a monstrously large chapter that I've decided to split it into two. Thus, there will be two chapters focusing upon the geth dreadnought in Tali's perspective. Those of you who think there should be more Tali - you should be over-joyed now. ;-)

As of the moment I write this, I would like to formally acknowledge:

- Treehuger90 (No worries, bro. I'm still alive and kicking! Just pretty busy... On another note, what do you mean "good job as always, for now"!? Don't I always do a good job? D: )

- Tattoo'd (Great. Just great. I probably should have seen THAT one threat coming... Just keep Hera off of me, and I'll be happy. She's one evil spider. ;-) )

- T-Sparkle (I agree. 'More Tali' is always nice in any fic. ;D )

- TW6464 (Thanks! That means a bunch!)

- Hamster Giggles (That expression is most definitely true. Especially when I have EXTREMELY high standards for my work. On another note... I expected more than threats from someone with such a fluffy username! ;D)

- Dark Shade 75 (I'm glad you loved it. I know I certainly love giving my own twist to things.)

- Para-Cord (But only because s/he "feels special" when s/he's mentioned. ;D)

- D3mentedG0Ose (Thanks! And I'll really have to keep that strange threat in mind...)

- chidoriprime (Thanks! I'm glad that you're looking forward to what I have planned in this chapter and the next.)

For those of you who are wondering why I left little comments for my reviewers (you're all wonderful, by the way, even though I'm pretty sure you're all thinking 'Who actually reads these author's notes thingies?' and 'BRING ON THE STORY ALREADY!'), just know that it's my little way of letting them know that I've read them and I deeply appreciate the support they're showing me by leaving them in the first place. Just sayin'.

Anyway, constructive criticism is, as always, welcome. Please, no flames. Feel free to correct me if I get any of the lore wrong as I'm human and capable of making mistakes. :3

Also, as I'm not pleased with this chapter either (just really, really tired of looking at it and editing it), I'm going to post as-is and maybe go back and change the worst mistakes later.

Enjoy.

Chapter Four :

Desperate Times

oOoOo

Finally.

This was Tali's only thought as she scaled the ladder with surprising agility, thereby joining Shepard on the upper platform, whilst Garrus searched the bottom level for anything even remotely salvageable. She stepped out onto the platform proper and glanced briefly around the dreadnought's interior, her silvery eyes alight with suppressed interest.

All her life, she'd been raised to hate and revile the geth, regarding them as little more than mindless, killing machines because they were ultimately responsible for her people's exodus from their home-world. This had all happened over 300 years ago, and so it came with little wonder that part of her was fascinated with everything and anything to do with them. Especially so when one considered the fact that her people were the ones to create these machines as a source of slave-labor, and then consequently turned on them out of a fear that they were becoming too self-aware for their own good. While she was usually disgusted with this interested part of herself . . . this line of reasoning led to some unsettling questions that she didn't have the answers to, and another part of her wondered if she'd want to know the truth at all. Ignorance is bliss, so they say . . . or was it?

Still, history had a habit of rewriting itself. Were quarians responsible for the Morning War, or were the geth, as many of her people claimed? Were they pariahs of the galaxy because of their ancestors' mistake, or because of the geth? The more and more she thought about it, especially after meeting Legion, the closer she came to grudgingly accepting the fact that her people were the only party to blame.

Tali shook her head, trying to clear it of these distressing thoughts. There was, after all, a legitimate reason why she hated the geth, and this was it.

This done, only then did she finally look at Shepard, and release a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Encased in his bulky combat armor as he was, and with the additional breather helmet, he seemed unharmed. While anxiously waiting on the Normandy for him to open another airlock, her greatest fear was that he'd be pinned down by the geth (especially as he was alone), even if he was in constant radio contact with them the entire time, reassuring them that he was fine. Though she had to admit that he was more than capable of taking care of himself, this realization did very little to assuage her irrational fears that he would get hurt. Or worse, that he would die. Again.

He looked up and their eyes met. Her lips curled into a frown as she saw that, as on most high-priority missions, the face of the man she loved was hidden behind a weathered mask of stalwart concentration and determination, a mask that she'd reluctantly come to associate with Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre. And as much as she owed Commander Shepard for his help and loyalty, she loved him more when he was just Shepard. The man she knew and loved quite possibly more than life itself. Not some untouchable, perfected hero. Her Shepard, as flawed as he was.

Commander Shepard was terse, militaristic, and charismatic, yes, capable of leading his men and women into the mouth of Hell itself, or fending off malicious politicians with clever wordplay, but, nonetheless, this wasn't the man she loved. She loved him when they were alone, and he was the Shepard only she knew, who could be sweet, and funny, and compassionate, and as equally frustrating and devious as he was endearing. Rather than seeing him charge off into the midst of some bloody fray, his assault rifle blazing and his lips set in a firm, determined line, she'd rather see his infamously lopsided smile and his softened emerald-green eyes as he held her hand between his and promised her that everything would be all right. When he was her Shepard and hers alone, she could easily get lost in everything that he was and drown in his warm embrace.

This did not mean that there were not moments when her Shepard shown through, dispelling his Commander Shepard façade. On a mission, these moments were few and far between as he took his duty seriously, but they were there and she treasured each of them greatly. More than anything, she did not want him to forget who he was.

As it was, she'd lost him twice by her count, and she had no intention of losing him again.

The first time occurred on the original Normandy, shortly after Ash's death on Virmire. In the wake of such devastation, he'd been inconsolable. He slept irregularly and neglected to eat. He'd seemed to have forgotten his humanity and his every movement was automatic, almost robotic. To this day, she'd never forget Shepard's argument with Kaiden on the bridge of the SSV Normandy, just after the tragedy on Virmire and when Kaiden still blamed himself for Ash's untimely death. Shepard had turned on him sharply. Almost scathingly, which was not at all like him. "If you want to blame anyone, Alenko," he'd snarled angrily, "blame me. It was my call. Not yours."

Since then, she'd asked him why he'd been so angry, and his reply had been less than satisfactory. "It reminded me of Akuze," he'd said with this rather bleak look and then he'd refused to elaborate any further.

After Virmire, however, his only redemption lay within his stopping Saren once and for all, thereby vindicating himself of Ash's death. This belief became his obsession, it was all he could think about, and, surprisingly enough, it was Kaiden who later talked some sense back into him. Only after their lengthy talk did Shepard finally begin to smile again. Regardless, it'd taken ages for him to return to his normal, cheerful self, and she swore that she'd never let him lose himself again. Not to something as mundane as grief.

The second time was much more physical as he'd quite literally died. At the time, there had been no escaping facts. She'd missed him, more and more so with every day that passed. At first, she'd been painfully aware that the Normandy was gone and Shepard dead when she'd wake aboard the Neema to a recurrent nightmare. Then, she began to miss those visits he'd make to Engineering just to speak with her, asking her questions about the Migrant Fleet and quarians in general. From what she understood, he had done that with everyone aboard the ship, always asking questions, gauging opinions, offering a compliment or some advice here or there. Shepard liked learning about the different races in the galaxy. He'd thought it'd give him a better position for better relations, knowing more about these species than what the typical human did.

The Neema, after all, had been many things. It was loud, and crowded, and a ship with a fair reputation. It was not, however, the Normandy, with its smooth aesthetics and silent engines and equally enormous, equally powerful drive core. This thought alone caused her much grief, remembering the fate of the Normandy. She was painfully aware that, despite his relative kindness at the time and his friendship with her father, Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema was not Commander Shepard.

It was Garrus who first contacted her, telling her how the Council and the Alliance had called off the search for Shepard. They said that they had found no trace of the Commander, that he had been killed in action by an unknown ship. Based on Joker's guilt-ridden testimony, they concluded that, if he had been spaced, he would not have survived entry into Alchera's atmosphere and burned to a crisp. If not that, then he would die from the impact.

But they ever found his body. They'd found absolutely no trace of it, in fact, and this gave Tali a faint stirring of hope, something that bordered on painful. He could have survived. Couldn't he? Keelah, he was Commander Shepard! He had talked down Saren, was responsible for the destruction of Sovereign, and he was the very first human Spectre. There was nothing he couldn't do!

But somewhere in her heart, she knew he was dead. Gone. Everyone said so. Joker, Kaiden, Liara, Garrus, and various other crew-members she kept in contact with. Still, she couldn't help but hope that one day he would return, simply show up without warning on the Citadel or somewhere, asking for his crew back and eager for some well-deserved revenge against whatever it was that killed him. And Tali would leave the Fleet without a second thought. Because, though she loved her people dearly, truthfully, the Normandy had become more of a home than the Flotilla had ever been. Especially so since her mother had died.

But he never came back. Days blurred into months, and her father soon reached the conclusion that she was ready for her first command. She was the daughter of Admiral Rael'Zorah, after all. How could she not be?

Her charges and objectives were varied. Sometimes, she was sent out to scan the planets of nearby systems for minerals; other times she was sent out in a shuttle to collect returning quarians from Pilgrimage. Some of her subordinates treated her with the respect they deemed necessary for an Admiral's daughter, like the marine, Kal'Reegar. Others treated her with disdain, believing her still too young for the realities of command, like Prazza. Most quite simply underestimated her abilities, which, she couldn't help but think was something that Shepard had never done.

But as she looked at him now, his eyes (which were his only feature visible through his helmet) seemed to glitter with amusement, and in ways that made her toes curl. If he wasn't wearing a helmet, however, she had utterly no doubt that she'd see his lips spread in one of his crooked smiles. As a way to humor him and show him that she was grateful that he'd gotten the door for her, she sashayed her hips with emphasis towards him.

"Thank you for having me over," she purred, and as she passed him by, she once again brushed against a certain part of his anatomy. She knew that he wouldn't feel it through his combat armor, but would deeply appreciate the playful gesture nonetheless. She didn't stop as she heard him intake a sharp breath, but rather kept moving towards a locked door that they couldn't quite reach because its bridge had been retracted into the platform they now stood upon.

She instinctively knew that this was their way forward.

She was also acutely aware of Shepard's eyes following her every movement, and smirked because she knew that her hips were something he could definitely appreciate.

Behind her, he shrugged. "Well, I don't actually know where I'm going," he admitted, and if his sparkling eyes weren't enough, she could practically hear the lopsided grin in his voice even if she couldn't see it. Keelah . . . She was about to offer a smart retort to the effect of leading him on, but Garrus beat her to the punch.

Below their platform, he awkwardly coughed. "I'm, uh, still here," he reminded the two mildly, which, Tali assumed, was his way of letting them know that he didn't want to be privy to their flirtatious banter. "Can we just get on with it?"

Tali looked at Shepard and awarded him with a sly wink. "I'll see what I can do," she offered, nodding for Shepard's benefit towards the locked door that was on their level. "In the meantime, take a look at this." That said, she deftly removed an unfamiliar pistol from her belt and set it down on a nearby console for him to examine while she hacked their way onward.

Behind her, Shepard smiled appreciatively at the inflection in her voice, and moved closer to the console as per her request. The pistol did not appear to be any make or model he recognized, and he briefly entertained the idea that she'd modified it so that it'd be unrecognizable. If so, then for what purpose? He picked it up, and weighed it in his hands. He even turned it over. Still, no distinguishable markings and, close up, he noticed that it appeared to have been manufactured entirely from various pieces of salvage.

As she worked through hacking the door's securities and he examined Tali's new pistol, Garrus decided to join them, and his satchel was loaded with only minor salvage. To Shepard's inquiring look, he merely shrugged helplessly. He obviously didn't recognize the pistol either.

"There," announced Tali suddenly and, by stepping away, revealed that she had not only unlocked the door, but also extended the bridge so they could reach it. "It's open. We're clear to go."

Shepard, still clutching the pistol, strode over to her. "So, what exactly am I looking at here?" he asked, holding up the pistol for his two companions to see.

"It's Admiral Xen's design," she explained. "It transmits an energy burst on contact that disrupts shields and synthetics."

Shepard examined the weapon with newfound appreciation. "That'll be handy," he remarked pleasantly. Then, he paused. "You'd better keep it on you," he told her with a small grin. "After all, I've got this." He hefted his high-grade assault rifle just to emphasize his point. Tali gingerly accepted the pistol back and rolled her eyes to show that she was not amused.

Behind them, Garrus stirred. "How come I don't get a new gun?" he asked teasingly.

Tali shrugged and affected an innocent voice, even if she was smirking behind her visor. "Couldn't find one in your size."

Shepard choked down an inadvertent snort, and Garrus simply glowered at her, slack-jawed. Before he could formulate an ample comeback, Shepard interrupted their playful banter.

"All right," he said firmly. "Time to move out."

In one fluid motion, he removed his assault rifle from the magnetic clasps on his back and extended it with an audible snap. Garrus and Tali exchanged a look and then did likewise. Together, they took off down the cramped hallway as quietly as possible, their eyes peeled for any sign of the geth. Shepard, of course, took point, and was followed closely by Tali, and with Garrus bringing up the rear since the hallway was too narrow for even two to walk abreast. The tactical lights built into their weapons easily cut through the darkness that loomed before them, and the three sets of rapidly-moving lights almost appeared to the casual observer like some kind of impromptu light show on the walls as they swung their weapons to and fro in synchronization with their well-trained eyes.

They made little to no chatter as they approached their destination as they did not know if they'd be running into any geth along the way, and soon came upon a more spacious hallway that was framed with several vents and lined with a handful of doors. Shepard stopped and looked at Tali.

"So, where are we headed?" he asked expectantly.

Tali lowered her shotgun. "We're looking for an operations center," she told them dubiously. "I can disable the Reaper command signal from there."

"Great," Shepard grunted. "Where's the nearest one?"

She relocated her shotgun to her lower back and quickly opened her omni-tool, which cast a faint orange glow on the shadowy walls around them. Her eyes darted through the dreadnought's holographic schematics and, during times like these, he was grateful for that brilliant mind of hers. "Looks like . . . past their defense network and through a sensor cluster," she informed them both before closing her omni-tool. The dreadnought's interior appeared much more gloomy without it.

"We just need to keep going," she supplied.

Shepard nodded. "Understood."

Their procession took off once more and as they moved through the spacious hallway, Tali caught sight of the vents and a shiver traveled down her spine.

"Gah, vents," she groaned. "Always the vents . . ."

Shepard stopped briefly and rewarded her with a reassuring, if knowing, grin. "You did fine at the Collector's base," he offered. Even if it was meant as a compliment, she certainly didn't receive it as such.

As soon as the words left his mouth, she fixed him with a look of sheer disbelief. "I got set on fire!" she exclaimed unhappily. After all, such a thing was not regarded as one of her finer moments, even if she'd pushed Shepard to choose her for the mission instead of Kasumi. That way, she'd feel like she was doing something more for their mission than just shooting whatever Collector was unlucky enough to stick its head out of cover.

He sheepishly readjusted his helmet. "Well, no one's perfect," he muttered, and then they continued on their way.

As they went deeper into the dreadnought and through another passageway littered with various debris, Tali was given the vaguest impression that they were moving in circles. Everything was beginning to look hauntingly familiar, and, as Shepard drew to an abrupt stop, she shot him a questioning look.

He turned to his two companions. "Shouldn't be too much farther now to the main battery," he remarked somewhat cautiously. They had yet to run into any geth and the anticipation was starting to get to Tali as she jumped at every stray noise and shadow flitting across the walls. In the end, he was being too serious for her taste and she set immediately to work rectifying that.

Hidden behind her visor, Tali's lips curled into a devilish smile. "I appreciate what you're doing here, Shepard," she told him, and, for the most part, she kept her voice sincere. But there was no doubting a certain inflection in her synthesized voice that promised pleasureable rewards in the near future, a certain inflection that she'd also learned from Miranda Lawson and knew for a certainty that Shepard wouldn't be able to resist.

It only took a moment for her to realize that she was right; Shepard was incapable of letting that one go so easily. His emerald-green eyes gleamed mischievously in the gloom and seemed to linger upon her for just a little too long. Long enough for a certain bubbly warmth to pool in her toes and race to the rest of her body, ending in her finger-tips. Somehow, she just knew that he was smiling lopsidedly behind that obsidian N7 helmet of his, and this knowledge seemed to make all the difference as this was entirely her own doing. It was such a shame that his radiant smile had to be hidden by his damn helmet . . . In their time spent together, she'd grown far too used to his boyish grin.

Keelah, but how I love that contagious smile of his . . . And she did. Truly. That one simple gesture had a way of convincing her that everything was going to be all right, that they'd get out of this alive just like they always did. The Reapers would go the way of Saren and the Collectors because Shepard was capable of nothing less. Yes, because of that one gesture, she had complete and total faith in him.

"Well," Shepard said with some amusement in return, "I care deeply about the quarian people."

Tali sighed. "It's good to be back on the Normandy," she replied contentedly. Among other things . . . She was especially glad that nothing within him seemed to have taken a turn for the worse, that he wasn't too pessimistic about their chances if he found himself capable of teasing his friends.

But he wasn't finished, not by a long-shot, so it seemed, as he awarded her with a sly wink. "Let me know if it's too quiet for you to sleep, and I'll find you someplace louder." He paused and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "My cabin, perhaps?"

She would've stared at him speechlessly, positively horror-struck, if it'd been anyone but Garrus, but since it was Garrus, she decided to join in and irk their turian friend to no end. After all, she still hadn't forgiven him for their little elevator talks just after they'd first met. Nor his comment about turian chocolate, for that matter.

So, to emphasize his discomfort, she pretended to seriously consider Shepard's offer, even if she knew exactly what he meant by it. She thoughtfully readjusted her mouth-piece, which was the quarian equivalent of scratching her chin. "Hmmm."

While Shepard choked back a laugh (with much coughing on his part), Garrus looked painfully uncomfortable between them. He then tried to clear the air by coughing awkwardly.

"Uh, I was there when you two had your thing, remember?" he tried to remind them in the hopes that they'd let up their shameless foreplay. "Just . . . get a room and work it out. In private, I mean. That way, everybody wins."

Shepard turned to Garrus and shrugged playfully. Though he was a few inches shorter than their tall, turian friend, Shepard still had the more confident posture. "What can I say, Vakarian?" he jibed, the lopsided grin once more palpable in his voice. Even more so than before, so it seemed (Was that even possible?). "I have reach, and Tali has . . . flexibility."

Knowing Shepard and Garrus as well as she did, Tali suspected that this was some kind of dirty joke between the two of them and so, with a half-hearted groan of exasperation, she shoved Shepard away with a little more force than she originally intended. That done, she stalked away from them a few paces, indignantly muttering "Bosh'tet!" under her breath.

"Must you always do that, woman?" Shepard called after her incredulously, audibly hurt. She turned around slowly and saw that his eyes were still gleaming even as he massaged his offended shoulder and wounded ego. Though she knew that he wouldn't see it, she stuck her tongue out at him. What he would see was her silvery eyes narrowed in playful derision and certainly hazard a guess as to why.

Meanwhile, Garrus looked between the two of them awkwardly. "I, uh, didn't need to know that," he squeaked. "Too much information."

Tali continued to stalk away, Shepard following in her wake like a lost puppy because this was the sort of environment in which he couldn't let her out of his sight even for a heartbeat. "Oh, and Garrus?" she threw over her shoulder with affected pleasantries while her insides swirled in irritated turmoil. "This stays strictly between us. If you tell anyone, I will kill you with my shotgun."

That said, Garrus audibly gulped. Tali was particularly pleased with the fact that he offered no more complaints for the remainder of the mission.

It came as no surprise when, further on, they ran into a pocket of geth whilst trying to navigate the dreadnought's main battery.

"Geth!" cried Shepard urgently.

Even as the sudden influx of geth began to open fire upon them, Shepard and Tali dove behind a row of consoles while Garrus ducked behind the wall on the opposite side of the dangerously-open corridor.

While Shepard and Garrus alternated their return-fire in almost perfect synchronization, distracting the geth long enough to give one another ample enough time to reload, they grimly concentrated on counting each kill that they dropped. Tali, meanwhile, ignored their rival competition and carefully peered over the top of one console, firing off a few shots of her own with the arc pistol, in order to better glimpse their enemy. Most of them either seemed to be geth hunters (Shepard and Garrus were always quick to spot these and eliminate them before they came too close) or regular, standard-issue geth, armed with pulse rifles and rocket launchers.

In such a tough fire-fight as this, they seemed to be making little to no headway. Of the two dozen geth, they'd only killed about 2/3. Tali didn't like how this was going, and how this was wasting their valuable time in shutting down the dreadnought for good. She looked at the geth again; there were only one or two that seemed to be giving them particular trouble.

What was that human expression? Tali wondered suddenly. It was something Shepard had said before, on another mission . . . 'Desperate times call for desperate measures'? Oh, yes, that was it! And if these weren't desperate times, then Tali didn't know what was.

She weighed the options in her head. She could leap over their cover and launch a full-on assault with her shotgun, trusting her life to the integrity of her maxed-out shields . . . or she could simply wait it out while the dreadnought mercilessly took out even more of her people.

Her choice was clear. She sat back on her heels in preparation of a fully-loaded spring.

It was terribly reckless, but she knew that, once she was out in the open, Shepard and Garrus would do everything in their power to lend her some much-needed covering fire.

"I'm going in!" she suddenly announced to her two, otherwise-occupied companions.

Then, she sprang. Only there was something important she hadn't taken into consideration.

"TALI!"

I know. Don't you just hate it when your squad-mates randomly jump out of cover and get themselves killed on your 'Insanity' play-through? I know I do.

Please, read and review to let me know what you think. Come on, you lurkers, I know you're out there. I was one of you for the longest time on this site and now, look, I'm writing stories for YOU. Just a simple 'Good job!' would suffice to let me know that I'm doing good and that you want me to continue. Plus, you get mentioned! What's better than that? :-)

Also, I referenced one of my M!Shepard/Tali one-shots in this. See if you can spot it. :P