Peter was an evil little mastermind. I say that as if I didn't already realize it, but the truth is, I was just now coming to terms with this arrangement. Jacky was nowhere to be found, and I was slowly dying via boredom. It was too quiet without my captive best friend to bounce my thoughts off of. We'd spent so much time moping around each other that I forgot how cluttered my mind really was. That was a plus side, actually. With all of this extra time to myself, I could think and rethink my existence as much as I wanted to.
That was his plan, though. I could already feel the loneliness getting to me. Sometimes I failed to remember that this boy was probably centuries old. He was bound to be an expert at dealing with 'lost' kids at this point. Pan planned to starve me out, and I'll wholeheartedly admit that he was going to succeed. Jacky was much stronger than I was. She could play this game of wills for weeks on end, provided we aren't literally starved.
I'd never felt quite as helpless and scared as I did in that week I spent stuck in their campsite. Every day was an agonizing routine for me. I'd take regular naps, easing in and out of consciousness throughout the day. They gave me three meals, as well as the spare snack if somebody was feeling particularly nice, and let me get up to go take a piss out in the woods or rinse off when I needed to. It was actually significantly better than how I pictured being held hostage – in fact, it was an easy enough life, minus the lack of freedom. I definitely wasn't emaciated, nor was I horribly lacking in hygiene, but that wasn't what they were going for, was it?
No. They essentially wanted me to sit around and 'think about what I'd done'. I tried my best to be defiant about it, but it just wasn't in my nature. If Pan didn't like my quickly declining state of mind, he'd sit down for a little chat. By 'little chat', I of course mean that he channeled his inner Socrates and tried to convert me to 'lost boy' status.
"I'm surprised at you, Melinda," Peter remarked, my name sliding off his tongue in a fashion that made me want to get it legally changed to something unpronounceable and Welsh, "You're doing a lot better than I thought you would."
I rolled my eyes, making a point to avoid looking at him. Instead, I kept my gaze trained skyward. Is that a vulture I see? "Glad to know I'm making progress," I grumbled, hardly having the energy to speak with him for the umpteenth time this week.
Pan laughed at me, placing himself on a tree stump in front of me. "I expected to find you begging for even a little bit of freedom by now, actually."
He was baiting me, wasn't he? That's too fucking bad for him, then. I didn't have the sentience available to do as much as twitch at his words. "Nah. I'm comfortable – thanks for the consideration."
It had been an entire week. As well as he hid it, I could tell he was quickly becoming impatient with me. If I didn't crack soon, it was likely that he'd crack my skull open with some pointy stones. I saw his position shift slightly as he moved in his seat, as if preparing for something. "It's even more surprising to note that Jacky gave up nearly two days ago."
The absent expression I'd donned quickly slipped off my face, and I craned my neck to look at the sadistic little brat in front of me. "What did you say?" I croaked out, trying to fight the distress from seeping into my voice.
He'd gotten his reaction, though, and that made him ecstatic. "Tough ol' Jacqueline caved in, Melinda. She stopped fighting me." The grin stayed plastered to his lips, a tell-tale sign that I actively looked for and avoided in everyone I met.
I pressed my lips into a firm line, feeling my eyes and throat begin to burn. "She'd never do that. She's stronger than I am by far, Pan. Not even you could take that from her so quickly."
"Oh, but I did! Hurts to find out that the girl you look up to is nothing more than a fraud, doesn't it? She's not coming for you, nobody back home is coming for you – who are you waiting for?"
I ground my teeth together, tears involuntarily slipping from my eyes. "If nobody else can do it, then I'll make it out of here myself.
Pan rose from his seat, reaching me in two long strides. He grabbed me by the shirt collar, pulling me closer towards him. "You've heard the stories, haven't you? Nobody gets off this island unless I let them leave."
I shrunk away from the mousy, brown-haired little demon, pressing myself harder against the tree, if only to create a few mere millimeters of distance between us. "I'm not a kid – there's no reason to keep me here. Why not just kill me, then?"
He stopped for a moment, meeting my gaze steadily. Then he dropped me, laughing lightly to himself. Peter plopped down on the ground again, toying absent-mindedly at the ropes that kept me secure. "You're not a kid? Pray tell – what are you, then?"
"Technically I turned 18 about 3 weeks ago. Where I live, I'm an adult and fully responsible for myself," I murmured off-handedly, trying to restore my apathetic façade.
A sharp tug at my ropes caused momentary breathing troubles, and I gasped lightly. "18, huh? Hardly means anything here. There are 18-year-olds on this island. They've been 18 for a lot longer than you have, too." Peter was very casual with this conversation, almost looking bored with me. "So you came here at the age of 17? What makes you feel any older than you were 3 weeks ago? What makes you feel any less out of control? Fact is – you're still hopeless. You're still as weak and irresponsible as before. You can't take care of yourself, let alone anyone else."
Pan left shortly after that. He didn't need to say anything else. I had enough holes poked in me to strain a pot of spaghetti.
"Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin. Apologize for all my sins - all the things I should've said to you. Hey, I can't make it go away. Over and over in my brain again – all the things I should've said to you." – Sugarcult: Counting Stars
AN: I think I hurt myself writing this chapter. Stupid Pan and his mindgames… I'll say it again – poor Mel. Also, I did go back and fix the error in the last chapter. If you see any others, let me know! Thanks to LoonyLucy, theshadowwithinyoursoul, and my-beloved-monster for reviewing. By the way, I love Daughter! That song is perfect – how did I not see it? Leave a comment, shoot me message, or maybe do nothing if you've enjoyed the story so far! Au revoir~