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I Can't See The Light Yet/ Chapter Two

Semara was tired. So, very tired. The day and night before, she had pulled an all-nighter, and since hadn't gotten anymore napping time.

The Chain and Contractor she had been instructed from Pandora to kill had been very evasive. 'Rose,' the Chain, was famous in the small town of Gemin, and Rose's Contractor had massacred many people, mostly children. It was the chain's sickening preference.

After Semara had left, Rose and the Contractor were in the Abyss. It had taken one card from Semara's own Chain, through Rose's heart, to send them falling into that deep unknown.

Just when she was about to drift off into sleep again, expecting at least another hour's ride, she saw the villa.

Rainsworth villa.

Her villa.

Sitting straight up, she re-buttoned her coat, making sure all bandages were intact. At age fourteen, her chest had finally shown development, and with mixed feelings, she had resorted to using bandages to tightly wrap her chest. It was uncomfortable, but a far better fate than becoming a Sue.

Everything looked good, even if it didn't feel nice to have tight bandages around her midsection nearly 24/7. The carriage pulled to a stop, and Semara leapt out of it.

Five years. It had been five years since she had seen Sharon. Five years was much too long.

To Semara's joy, her sister was there, already standing in the gravel and dirt driveway, smiling and holding her arms out. Semara couldn't wipe a silly grin off her face. The twins met in a frantic embrace, Semara pulling Sharon close to her. Since Semara had gotten her chain six years later, she was about two inches taller.

"You've been gone for too long," Sharon whispered tearfully into Semara's shoulder.

"I know. I'm sorry," Semara whispered back. "I won't do it again." She wasn't sure if she could follow that promise, but she would try.

Eventually, she pulled away, holding her twin at arms length.

"You look happy," Semara said. "The same as the last time I saw you."

Sharon flicked Semara's forehead. "You look... a year older. Taller than me, more muscular than me, and," Sharon leaned in close, whispering in her ear, "probably more developed than me."

Semara pulled away, giving Sharon a friendly glare. "Sharon..."

"What? It's true. Your body got to age six more years than mine."

"Doesn't matter," Semara said, as she grabbed her one suitcase from the carriage, and unstrapped the gun belt slung low on her hips with a practiced elegance. Sharon watched, silently. Semara had obviously become used to the gun belt. Sharon didn't know how she felt about that.

Semara finished maneuvering the belt around, and looked expectantly towards her older twin.

"Let's go see Mother," Sharon said, leading Semara into the Villa.

"Shall I take your things, Semar-sama?" asked a servant, holding out his arms.

"Sure," Semara said gratefully. Her arms were tired, and her shoulder muscles ached. "I'll keep the gun belt, though."

The black-and-white dressed servant took the battered suitcase, bowed, and departed.

"Semar? Is that you, child?" Semara's eyes widened, and she looked up from the coatrack in the front entryway to see her mom stepping down the stairs from the second floor.

"Mom!" Semara yelled happily, skipping up the stairs to meet her mom halfway. Shelly Rainsworth hugged her daughter back.

"Five years, Semar," Shelly said, with a reprimanding tone.

"I know. Sharon already reminded me," Semara said. "How's Reim, and Grandmother?"

"They're doing well. Reim is arriving tomorrow, from a Pandora engagement, same as you. Your grandmother will come to see you when she can, she's very busy," Shelly said. "How about you and Sharon retreat to the sitting room? I believe Break already called for tea to be served there."

"Sure. Sharon, come on," Semara told her sister, pulling away from her mother, and leaping down the rest of the stair with a familiarity slowly returning to her. Then, stopping suddenly, she looked curiously towards her mother.

"Who's Break?" Semara said suspiciously. Her mom hadn't even used an honorific.

Shelly looked towards Sharon in confusion. Sharon quickly interjected.

"Semar has never met Break before," she said, smiling. "I'll introduce them."

"Is he a contractor?" Semara asked. "Does he work for Pandora?"

"You'll find ooouut," Sharon sang, in that older sister voice Semara hated.

"Hmph."

Break was just finishing up the raspberry lolli when Sharon entered the quiet room. She was laughing at her brother, who had a pout on his face.

"Sharon, just tell me!" he was saying, and then he saw Break and stopped.

"Hello, oujo-sama, can you introduce me to your brother?" Break said brightly. Sharon sat down delicately in one of the armchairs, smoothing her skirt out.

"Break, this is my younger brother, Semar, and Semar, this is Break," she said. Break held out a hand, and Semar took it, shaking it.

Even his hands are feminine, Break thought, remembering his thoughts before on Semar's face.

"So, do you work for Pandora, Break-san?" Semar asked carefully, sitting down next to Sharon. Break did the same, across from them. He offered Sharon tea, but she shook her head.

"Yes, that I do," Break replied. "I have a Chain as well, if that's your next question." Break popped several sugar cubes into his own tea.

Semar grabbed the teapot, pouring some into the dainty flowered teacup, and then gulped it down. Wiping his mouth, he looked at Break.

"That's interesting."

"So, how was the latest mission, brother?" Sharon asked. Semar closed his eyes, leaning back into the chair.

"It was... very hard."

"How do you mean?"

"I had to pull an all-nighter, just to catch the Contractor. She was very evasive. The Chain itself was hard to defeat, as well, and had a power level near that of Cardturner's." Semar gave a faint smile. "But the Contractor had no combat skills whatsoever. It was epic."

Break's brow furrowed. He hadn't understood the younger Rainsworth's choice of words.

"Epic, you say?" he said.

"Yeah, epic. Intense. Awesome," Semar said, without opening his eyes. Break could see dark shadows around them. The man must've been tired.

"What age did you get your Chain?" Break asked, out of curiosity. "Surely not older than seventeen." Break recalled Sharon telling him the age, but he couldn't remember.

"I was nineteen, for your information," Semar said, sounding slightly irritated.

"Your voice hadn't changed by then? Poor boy, stuck with the voice of a young lad for the rest of your life."

"Break!" Sharon said. "Be nice!"

"Rather be younger looking, than with the white hair of an old man," Semar said. "What are you, seventy?"

Break glared at the man. "I'm physically twenty-three."

"Ah, an albino freak. I've heard about people like youuuu," Semar said, breaking into a yawn on the last word.

"Semar likes to use swords," Sharon said, for a change of topic. "Perhaps later on, you two could spar each other?"

"That would be fun," Break said. He would enjoy beating that brat of a Rainsworth. His personality was nothing like his sister's, not that oujo-sama's was completely gentle.

"...zzz."

"He's asleep," Break noted.

"Oh dear. Brother did say he pulled an all-nighter. He probably didn't get any more sleep after that," Sharon said. "I'll have to wake him up again, so he can get up to bed."

"Just let him sleep for now, oujo-sama. He looks very tired," Break said. Semar was drooling slightly.

"Well..." Sharon looked worried. "I wouldn't want him to fall out of the armchair."

Break sighed. His oujo-sama obviously cared very much for her little brother.

"I'll stay here, with him. I have paperwork to do for Pandora, it would be fine for me to do it here," he offered.

"Really? Thank you, Break!" Sharon stood up, and walked out of the room.

Break looked over to the pile of paperwork sitting on a corner-table. Might as well get started, he thought ruefully.

For the next half-hour or so, he scribbled down signatures, notes, and other edits to the papers. The pile slowly grew smaller, but he still had another twenty to go when the muttering began.

At first, it was just a mumble under Semar's breath, but it slowly became louder. Break watched the man silently.

"Mmmm...No...Shadow Star..."

Break set down his pen, sitting back in the chair, focusing more on the sleeping Rainsworth. Shadow Star... That was an interesting name, if it was one. Maybe it was the name of a Chain Semar had dealt with.

"Not.. a.. Mary.. Sue.." was the last thing Semar said, before settling back into a deep and in-fretful sleep.

Wasn't Mary a woman's name? An old lover of Semar's? It was hard to picture the feminine-looking man walking around with a woman on his arm.

Break pulled a wrapped candy from a breast pocket in his shirt, ponderously unwrapping it. He wasn't that interested in what Semar said or didn't say in his sleep, but still found it intriguing nonetheless.

Semara woke with a start. She had been having the same dream again, the one she got at least once a week. It wasn't so much a dream, more as much a dramatic replaying of her memories.

More specifically, the memory of the moment before reincarnation, when she had met Shadow Star.

Shifting slightly, she winced at the groaning of tight muscles. She wasn't laying down, but was sitting up...

In the same armchair she had fallen asleep in.

So no one had moved her. She blearily wiped at her eyes, and realized there was someone else in the warm and dim sitting room with her.

It was the albino geezer, Break. The one her sister and mother seemed to hold a certain fondness for. Semara herself couldn't understand it. The albino just hadn't seemed that... lovable.

For Semara, though, she didn't feel the need to avoid Break. Supposedly, if she believed his words, he was in his mid-twenties, but he seemed to be a lot older. Semara doubted that Shadow Star wanted her to end up with a geezer like him.

He was watching her steadily, feet propped up on the tea-table without much care. His red eyes were distant, and it was obvious his mind was somewhere else.

Semara coughed awkwardly, sitting up. Break's eyes cleared, and he focused on her.

"Ah, you've finally awoken," he said. "It's been nearly an hour."

"Sorry," Semara said. "Where's Sharon?"

"I expect she's off with Seaweed-head, and the servants, preparing for Reim's arrival."

"Seaweed-head?" Obviously some nick-name, though it seemed slightly derogatory.

"Raven Nightray," Break said, standing up. Semara suddenly felt fearful.

"Wait a sec. How old is he?" she asked.

"...About twenty-four-ish, I would expect. Why do you need to know?"

Oh no. That meant, if he was an important canon character, he might have been the one she was 'fated' to fall in love with. He was the perfect age to. She would have to avoid him.

"I'm going to go and get freshened up," Semara said, making sure to lower her voice. Every time she got nervous, her voice would get higher, and she would sound even more like a girl. She stood as well, and quickly left the room.

Where was Sharon? Semara wanted to see her, to chat with her some more, but without anyone else around.

"Excuse me," she said to a passing servant. "Do you know where my sister is?"

"Last time I saw her, she was in the dining room, Semar-sama," the manservant said, bowing as he continued on his way.

The dining room. Semara walked down the long, angular hallway that, if her memory was correct, would eventually lead her to the dining room.

As she walked, she eventually became aware of quiet footsteps behind her. Turning, she saw Break following her.

"What do you want?" she asked, with a slightly rude tone.

"To talk to Seaweed-head," he answered, not missing a beat.

Semara walked faster, and to her relief finally saw the door marked, Dining.

"Sharon?" she called, opening the door. Her sister looked up from a slice of chocolate cake. Across from her was a black-haired man with golden eyes, drinking tea.

"Ah, hello Semar," Sharon said. "Glad to see you woke up."

"Can I talk to you?" Semara asked. "I want to catch up with my older sister, personally."

"Of course, Semar. But first, do you want to have some cake with Raven-san and I?" Sharon offered. "The cook just made it, it's still warm."

Semara's stomach rumbled traitorously, just as she realized who the raven-haired man was.

"Hello, Seaweed-head," Break said, coming into the golden-lighted dining room behind her. "Hello, oujo-sama."

"Will you join us too, Break?" Sharon asked, gesturing to the two empty seats. Semara sighed, and sat down next to her sister. She could only hope that her disguise was good enough to fool Raven-san, if it came down to that.

The four sat around the round table, and for a few seconds, it was quiet. Semara took a bite of the chocolate cake Sharon offered her, and found it to be the best cake she had possibly tasted, ever.

"How is Vincent doing, Raven-sama?" Sharon asked, breaking the silence. Instantly, Semara could see a change in Break's aura. It went from slightly irritated, to a dark, menacing beast next to her.

"Why do you feel the need to mention that disgusting person, oujo-sama?" Break sighed.

"I wasn't asking you, Break."

"He is... well," Gilbert-san said slowly. Semara looked up from her cake to meet Raven-san's eyes. He was looking at her, brow furrowed.

"Pardon me for asking, but are you a girl?" he said suddenly. Sharon let out a snort, as Semara stood up quickly.

"No! I'm not! Why does everyone ask me that!" Semara yelled. Her temper was rising fast, and the lack of sleep didn't help her self-control. "It's always, oh, I didn't know they had female field officers in Pandora? Shall I protect you? And, you're never going to find a husband dressing so tomboy-ishly. Can't you tell I'm a MAN?!" Semara finished, and there was an awkward silence.

"My apologies, Semar-sama," Raven-san said. "I didn't mean to offend you." He looked depressed.

"Ah, there goes the resident masochist," Break noted.

"Semar, apologize!" Sharon said, hitting Semara on the head with one of her weird fans. "That was very rude of you."

"Well, people should be able to tell I'm a man," Semara muttered. But Sharon was right. It wasn't other peoples' fault that she did look like a woman. She was a woman, for heaven's sake. She just wished that her disguise could be better.

"Sorry," she said quickly, bowing, and leaving the room. As she paused outside in the hallway, she could hear the conversation inside.

"Quite a temper, that brat has," that stupid old geezer Break said.

"He's just tired from the last mission," her sister said. "He doesn't hate you, Raven-san."

"I really am sorry, Sharon-sama," Raven-san said. "I just... wondered."

"I will let him know, Raven-san," Sharon said. "I'm going to go see him now, so please excuse me."

Sharon walked out of the dining room, and saw Semara.

"You know, I think I have a concussion from that stupid fan, sister," Semara griped.

"Come on. You need to go get changed. You smell like sweat and blood," Sharon replied, and the twins walked upstairs.

"I've already talked to that Rainsworth brat," Break told Raven. "His voice hadn't changed by the time he got a chain at age nineteen."

"Oh. That's why he sounded like a woman," Raven said.

"It's strange. He's nearly never home. This is his first time at the Villa in five years," Break noted.

"Maybe he just likes to wander?" Raven suggested.

"No, he likes being at home, I can tell." Semar seemed to have missed his sister a lot.

"Why do you care?"

"No reason. Anyway, Reim is coming from Pandora tomorrow. Which means I have less time to procrastinate on that report I was supposed to do," Break sighed. "Maybe I can get Reim to do it."

"You should be nicer to him, Break. He's a good friend to you," Raven defended Reim.

"Friend..." Break supposed Reim was, in sort, a friend.

The large clock on the wall rang eight times.

"It's getting late. This old chap needs sleep," Break said, standing.

"You're not that old," Raven reminded him.

"Goodnight, Seaweed-head."

"It's Raven!"

"How long will this go on?" Sharon asked Semara, as she helped take off Semara's coat.

"Will what go on?"

"You know what. This... disguise of yours. Grandmother, Mother, and I are all worried."

"I don't know, Sharon." Semara really didn't know. She had supposed the 'fated one' would meet her in her late teens, but no one important had showed up. Of course, she still had the body of a nineteen-year-old, and the 'fated one' could show up at any time.

"You're never going to find a husband if you keep cross-dressing."

"Sharon, I have a Chain! I don't age! Marriage is not an option, and never has been," Semara said.

"I know that... I just wish it was, for both of us..." Sharon hung up the coat.

"You have a secret dream of a family life?" Semara asked. She had expected this. Sharon was always the one more interested in boys, in children, in most things feminine.

"Yes... Don't tell Mother, she'd just worry, but I sometimes wish I could have just not made a Contract, and married a wonderful prince, and had a few kids..." Sharon trailed off.

Semara hugged her.

"It's okay, Sharon. This is also a wonderful path you've chosen. You get to help Pandora, and meet lots of people, and help them," Semara offered. "It's better than what I do."

"Have you met him yet?"

Semara pulled away, slipping off her shirt. The bandages started a few inches below her collarbone, stopping a few inches below her breasts.

She knew who Sharon was referring to. "Him" meant the 'fated one,' the one who Semara was supposed to fall in love with, the one who would make Semara become a Mary Sue.

"No. I'm surprised, too. But now, I think the real story's going to begin. He'll show up soon."

Sharon handed her sister a long white nightshirt, and Semara put it on, pulling her pants off underneath.

"By real story, do you mean the one that people from your old world are going to read?"

Semara had explained everything to Sharon on the night before she left, five years ago. Sharon had accepted it, but had questioned a lot.

"Yes. Something sort of... pulled me to come back here, and I knew I had to do it. Even if it brings me closer to being a Mary Sue."

Semara started unwrapping the bandages around her chest, reaching underneath the nightshirt.

"Besides, I missed my older sister," she said, smiling at Sharon.

With a sigh of relief, Semara unwrapped the last of the bandages, and they fell to floor.

"That must be horrible, being wrapped up all day," Sharon noted.

"It is... But worth it."

"That was hilarious, when Raven-san asked if you were a girl or not. I honestly believed the whole thing was up," Sharon giggled.

Semara gave her sister a glare, sitting down on the bed.

"It was not. I've worked over fifteen years to keep this disguise up, I'm not about to stop till I'm at least forty."

"Do you think I could date?"

Sharon's sudden question startled her.

"What?"

"Even if I'm never getting married, since I'm in the body of thirteen, could I still date men?" Sharon's eyes seemed downcast.

"...Well, I bet you're gonna meet a guy who won't mind that you can't have kids, and that your body doesn't age, and you'll be swept off your feet," Semara said.

"It would be nice if there was a younger Contractor, who also didn't age, and who wasn't over twenty..."

"It would be nice if Mary Sues didn't exist..." Semara said. "I'm tired. Can you turn off the light?" She flopped down on the bed, pulling up the covers.

"Sure. I'll be in the room down the hall, if you need me. Semara?"

"Yeah?"

"It's nice to have you home."

Semara slowly fell asleep with a slight smile on her face.

The pain in Break's little finger was gone. He briefly wondered if it was premature arthritis.

To clear up any confusion, this happens really close to the time when Oz returns from the Abyss, but he hasn't returned yet. He will soon, as I need to establish that Gil is not attracted to Semara, (I need Oz to do that ;)

There will be more action soon, and I apologize for the 2,000 word difference between this and the previous chapter. :P

Thanks for reading! :)

To be continued...