Interlude: Torajiro
I told you I had met someone like us once before. That wasn't such a long time ago, either, just about hundred and fifty years or so…
That's not long?
…well, I guess everything's relative. Anyway, I found him totally by accident. Unlike you, I didn't know him from his birth and before – he was five years old when I met him. I hadn't been in that area, in Innoshima, for a long time, and I was examining the rivers and ponds there, finding some areas strangely changed. He was alone by the river bend, playing with water, making it swirl and foam. That's what drew me to him, and then I saw his hands, the same as mine and yours, and I can't tell you how thrilled I was. I was just about to greet him, when I heard voices approaching…
.
"There! There he is, I can see him!"
"Torajiro! What are you doing there! Come here right now!"
The boy glanced behind. "Look, mother! Look what I can do!" He waved his hand above the water, and a whirl appeared in there, twirling faster and faster, reaching all the way to the bottom.
A hand grasped his shoulder and pulled him back. "Torajiro! When I tell you to come, you come! Do you understand?"
"But, mother…" The boy tried to pull himself free. "It's fun!"
The woman shot a troubled look toward the river. "I've told you you may not come here alone. Did you already forget?"
"No, mother, I…" The boy froze, staring into the water. Then he smiled. "Hi!"
"What?" The woman glanced around, obviously at a loss. "Torajiro, let's…"
"There's someone in the water! Can't you see, mother?"
"That's enough!" She started walking away, dragging the child after her. "Have I not told you stop telling such stories? What would your father say if he heard you!"
"But, mother, really…!"
Shh, came a whisper from somewhere. She won't believe you anyway. But don't worry about it; it can be our secret.
The boy looked up but saw no one. Who are you? he asked quietly.
My name is Sai, the voice replied. And you are Torajiro, right?
The boy nodded, smiling, and didn't seem to mind at all when his mother informed him he would have to stay the rest of the day in his room. After all, now he had company – company to play with. It was hard to say who was more delighted to find the other played go, the boy or the water spirit, and the kept on playing long into the night.
Later, as the boy lay still awake on his futon, wondering about his new friend, he whispered into the dark, "So what are you? A mizuchi?"
Hardly, and that is good for you, the other answered laughing. You wouldn't want to meet a water dragon.
"I would," the boy insisted. "Are you a kappa, then?"
There was a moment's indignant pause. Kappa? Now, that is just… For one thing, my head is not filled with water. For another, I don't care for cucumbers.
"Then what are you?"
I am the same as you. A child born of water.
Torajiro smiled into the dark.
…
So you taught him too go?
We certainly played go. But I didn't have to teach him – much; he already knew the game. Just one year after I met him Lord Asano, the daimyo of the region, heard of him, played a game with him, and was impressed enough to allow Torajiro to study under his own personal trainer. And two years later, when he was eight years old, he was sent to Edo to join the Honinbo school. Edo… what they nowadays call Tokyo… was a much more pleasant place back then. And Torajiro received there the best teaching ordinary mortals could give him. Honinbo Shuwa-sama was an excellent player. I enjoyed my games with him very much.
Did you ever tell him it wasn't just this, this Torajiro he was playing against?
Sai?
…
When Torajiro was twelve years old, he was one day called to meet the head of the Honinbo house, Honinbo Josaku.
What do you think it's about? he thought to his invisible companion.
Who knows, Sai replied. Perhaps the games you played when you were visiting your home…
You think? He didn't sound convinced.
I don't think you realize just what an exceptional player you are¸ Sai told him, but right then they reached the room where the Honinbo was waiting, and the boy didn't have a chance to reply.
Sai's guess had been correct. "Your games against Nakagawa Shunsetsu 5-dan were really quite remarkable. To think you won all four by resignation!"
"I had two stones in all the games," the boy stated, bowing his head.
"Even so. You are still a shodan – even with a two-stone handicap winning should have been hard enough for you. And Nakagawa-san himself said that he believed you would have won even if you just played black without handicap."
Of course he would have won, Sai put in. He would have won even if Nakagawa-san had the two stones!
Hush, Sai. "Nakagawa-sensei is very kind," the boy said, bowing again.
"We have been talking about it," Josaku went on, "and we have decided that it is a high time for you to be promoted to 2-dan. In addition, you will change your name as befits your promotion and skill."
"I'm honored," was all the boy said, but he grimaced inwardly to his companion. Why do I have to change my name again? I like my current one.
I still prefer Torajiro, though, Sai said, smile in the voice, and the boy tossed his head.
That little child's name? When will you stop using it? His tone, though, was amused, and Sai just laughed.
"Shusaku," Honinbo Josaku said, and the boy who at the moment was still called Yasuda Eisai by the world bowed.
"I am honored to take such a name," he repeated. He would have wanted to add, do I have to, but he knew better than that.
It's a good name, Sai whispered to him. Very profound. 'Skilful strategy.' Though, of course, totally unimaginative. Just combining the first part of Shuwa's name to the end of his own! Why can't people come up with new names? I think I'll stick to Torajiro.
The boy bit back a laughter, carefully keeping his face impassive as the Honinbo went on talking about the ceremonies. Hey, by the way, what was your childhood name? If you call me by mine, I think I have the right to use yours.
What? Mine? I… For a moment Sai's essence that flowed around the boy grew murky, like a pond the bottom of which was stirred by a stick, but it went soon over. Kagemaru.
Kagemaru, huh? Alright, as long as you call me Torajiro, I'll be calling you Kagemaru.
Fine for me, Sai replied, a little sad smile in his voice.
.
The name Shusaku became quickly known across the country, and the boy was steadily promoted. At the age of fourteen he had reached the fourth dan. He could have progressed even faster but, not to attract too much attention on himself, he…
…
Wait. Wait, wait, wait! Shusaku? At the Honinbo school? Sai, do you mean he's actually Honinbo Shusaku? You could have told me you knew him! Why didn't you ever say anything? You know I love his games!
For one thing, I didn't want you to start asking questions. I figured there'd be time to tell it later.
So did you see his ear-reddening game?
Yes.
…I think I hate you a little, Kagemaru.
Hush now, Hikaru. And please, don't use that name. Let me continue. I remember that game quite well. It took place when Torajiro was seventeen, and on his way back to Edo from his old home where he spent a year and a half…
…
On the way he met Gennan Inseki, one of the strongest players of that time, who wanted to play a game against him. It might have been that Gennan simply wanted to see if this famous pupil of the Honinbo school was as great as the rumors said, but perhaps he also harbored a wish to crush his opponent – after all, it had first been Honinbo Jowa and then his student Shuwa who had kept him from ever becoming the Meijin Godokoro, the go teacher for the shogun – and not always with clean methods. He soon found out, though, that the two-stone handicap he'd given for the boy was too much, and he suspended the game without finishing it. They started a new one, with Torajiro playing this time black without a handicap.
The boy started the game laxly, not wanting to win too blatantly, but as Gennan caught him with a new variation, he suddenly realized that he had given his opponent too big a lead. Long it seemed he would be unable to catch up, but then he played a move that turned Gennan's ears red, and Sai applauded, whirling about around them.
Wonderful, Torajiro! Wonderful! You can yet make it! That was the most beautiful move I have ever seen!
Take it easy, Torajiro told him, a little amused. You could have played it too.
Perhaps. Sai paused. Perhaps. Though who knows if I would have seen it…
If not, you would have seen something even better, Torajiro replied calmly. Now, please, I need to concentrate.
The game ended in Torajiro's victory. The word of it spread fast, even faster than he could travel, and preceded him to Edo. His teacher, Honinbo Shuwa, received him quite warmly.
"A brilliant move," he mused, as Torajiro recreated the game for him. "Brilliant. Closest to the divine move that I have seen."
Torajiro bowed. "You're too kind."
He's not, Sai put in. If that move is not divine, I don't know what is.
Hush. Torajiro blushed a little. "…too kind," he repeated, in a mumble.
"I think," Shuwa said, "that it is high time for you to join the clan of Honinbo. Don't you agree?"
Certainly! Sai exclaimed. Torajiro, on the other hand, was simply staring at his teacher with wide eyes.
"Josaku-sama gave me the permission to tell you the news," Shuwa went on. "We have been talking about this for long, and we all agree. Josaku-sama is not, as you know, in good health, and I am afraid the time when I will succeed him is not far. We all agree that it is best to secure the line of succession as early as possible. And truly, there can be no other candidate than you."
"What?" was all Torajiro could say, and for once even Sai was quiet.
"We wish you to take our name and become the heir. You will also have Jowa's daughter Hana for your wife."
Torajiro closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, there was a determined look in them. He bowed, deep.
"I am greatly honored by this offer," he said, "but I must decline."
Honinbo Shuwa stared at him, then touched his ear as if he wondered if there was something wrong with it. "Why?"
"I owe much to the Asano family, as you know. I still receive a stipend from Lord Asano, and… I can't in good conscience to ignore my debt to them, and to my other benefactors at my home. I cannot accept."
"A reasonable objection," Shuwa said thoughtfully. "I shall think about this. I am sure we can reach an understanding."
Honinbo Shusaku, Sai said, later that night when Torajiro was preparing for bed. It doesn't sound bad.
No, Torajiro agreed. Though I'm not sure if it sounds like me, either.
And what about Hana? Do you also object to marrying her? Sai asked with a smile in his voice.
Torajiro crawled into his bed and said nothing.
It took some time, most likely longer than the heads of the Honinbo school had thought, to arrange everything so that Torajiro could accept their proposal. They attempted to talk him over a few times, but he was adamant in his decision, showing considerable strength of character for a seventeen-year-old. It certainly did not make it easier for him that Hana was a part of the bargain. When did you start thinking of her like that? Sai wondered. How did I notice nothing? Torajiro just blushed, said nothing and remained resolute.
In the end, the hoped-for goal was reached. It took quite a complicated and long process, using different mediators, but finally the Asano clan relinquished its claim on Torajiro. Sai wasn't quite sure if the boy was happy or terrified when the news reached him.
He wandered off alone that night, all the way to the Great River, and sat down there, watching the dark water.
Are you worried? Sai asked him. There's no need! It's easy to see you're on the right path in your life. And Hana is such a gentle woman, she will be a good wife for you!
"Will I be a good husband to her?" Torajiro muttered aloud, eyes following restlessly the little waves of the river. "Sometimes… sometimes it feels like… I'm not sure if I'm meant to be living like this."
How else could you live, then? Sai sounded genuinely confused.
"I don't know. I just know that I have avoided water cause you told me to, that I have devoted every single day to go – and it does help, as you said – but… even so, I hear the call every moment, and it's stronger day by day and…"
You shouldn't follow it, Sai cut him off. Not yet. The water won't be going anywhere – don't you want to live your life first, to its fullest?
Torajiro sighed. "I guess. But there is another thing I've been thinking about…" He paused, and Sai waited, patiently, not wanting to rush him. "I have such control over water," the boy finally muttered. "Is it alright for me to ignore that gift? I've been thinking that maybe I should try to use it. I don't know yet how, but certainly there must be a way it could be off help for people."
You don't really have control over water, Sai put in. It's just that you are a part of water, yourself, and so you can, to some extent, use it – but don't imagine you control it. No one can truly control it.
"Even so!" Torajiro straightened his back and looked up. "As you say, I can use it. So, why shouldn't I?"
I've told you before how dangerous it can be if others find out about you.
"Yes… but I still hate hiding what I am like this." he raised his hands up, looking at them. "People can see my hands, and they are willing to ignore them – surely they would not mind other strange things, either."
Sai, floating in the river's water, heaved out a sigh that caused little ripples on the waves. Be careful. Think closely what you tell and to whom.
"I have already thought about it." Torajiro's voice was firm, and Sai knew there was no use to try talking him out of it. "I'll tell Hana when we get married."
It took still a while for the marriage to take place, though, and as it was, Honinbo Josaku died before it could happen. What was more surprising and so also more shocking was that just two months later Honinbo Jowa, Hana's father, died as well. This put the marriage off even further.
One day, just a few weeks after the death of her father, Torajiro was taking a walk with his betrothed. They were in fact accompanied by some other disciples of the school, but the others stayed as a group of their own, talking about the castle games that had just ended, and though Sai was around, at times listening into the discussion, at times disappearing somewhere on a whim, he too in general left the young couple alone to give them some privacy.
It was the end of November and not the loveliest day for a walk, but even so Hana had expressed a wish to get out even for a moment, and Torajiro was quick to fulfill that wish. They had headed first with carriages to the forest at the edges of the city, where they could be at peace, unbothered by people who might think such walks unsuitable for a young woman who was in mourning. The sky was gray and the wind chilly, but the trees were still blazing with color, red and golden, and as they walked, Hana every now and then bent to pick a leaf or two, soon having a big bunch of them in her hands.
…
Umm, Sai…? Is this gonna be a love story?
…Hikaru, please. Don't interrupt me.
Just checking…
…
They were close to the river, and Torajiro could smell it in the air. He breathed it in, deep, trying to suck in calm out of it. Hana walked by his side, quietly, the leaves in her hands and a tiny strange smile tugging her lips as she glanced at him. He wasn't quite sure what to make out of those looks, so he said nothing, just walked on as if he had noticed nothing. All the time, though, he was painfully aware of her presence, and couldn't help wondering why it bothered him so. He had known her since he was a child and first came to Edo, and though he had never been able to spend much time with her, he had always liked her (and she had liked him, he was sure.) It was strange how the prospect of marriage had so unsettled him.
Step after step he was growing more restless, and finally he stopped. Hana looked at him questioningly, that same little smile on her lips, but he noticed her eyes were shadowy. He glanced away, ill at ease.
There was a path that took off from the one they were walking on, and he could feel it heading toward the river.
"Would you like to walk by the river?"
She tilted her head, giving the path a look. "Why not, if you want to."
They went down the little path, and the smell of the river grew stronger in his nose. He could hear it now, too, and taking a deep breath finally felt calm spreading into himself. Slowly the river came into view among the trees, and he smiled as he saw it. He glanced at Hana – a young woman who in fact was a few years older than him, but so petite that seemed still like a girl – and saw her following him, still carrying the leaves, still smiling, but the same hollowness in her eyes, and he felt twinge of pain in his chest.
"I wish I could make you smile like you used to," he said suddenly. "And I will yet, one day."
Hana gave him a surprised look, for he wasn't prone to say such things.
"I realize it will take time, though," he went on. "And although it pains me to see you like this, it would be a great wrong to you father were you to forget him so soon."
He hadn't known Jowa that well, and during the eight years he had been studying at the Honinbo school, he had played only one game against the man – and that one hadn't been a serious game, played at a party celebrating the promotion of a Honinbo disciple. It had been left unfinished, and Jowa clearly hadn't exerted himself, perhaps feeling that his position was too elevated for him to engage in a competitive game against a disciple.
He was sorry about that, for he truly would have wanted to play a proper game against the former Meijin. He had thought he'd yet get his chance, perhaps once he officially would be the heir, but as it was... A moment he was angry, thinking about the games he would never get to play, and then, suddenly, embarrassed, for what did those unplayed games matter compared toHana having lost her father?
"I just wish you will remember, always, that you can count on me from now on," he finished his little speech, and the smile returned to her lips. Still, it didn't quite reach her eyes, but there was something warm in them as she looked at him.
"I know," she said. "You're a good man. I'm lucky to get you for my husband."
"I hope so," Torajiro muttered, looking away with a blush. Then he turned back to her, watching her seriously. "So you mean nothing about this… bothers you? About… me, I mean?"
He made a little move with his hand, as if to raise it but let it self-consciously drop by his side. She grasped it, though, and raised it up, examining the thin skin between his fingers. "You mean this?" she asked. "No. It is strange, but… why should it bother me? Say, is this something that runs in your family? Is it likely that our children will have hands like this?"
She looked up at him questioningly, and he felt himself blush again at the mention of children. "No. At least there are no records of anything like this. Of course, I can't know what my potential chi-children will be like."
Something amused flashed on her face at the way he stuttered over the word. "Well, that remains to be seen, then," she said and let go of him. She turned to watch the river.
The day was gray, and the river too, coursing through the forest, seemed lifeless and dreary, its water the color of lead. Some nearby trees with their bright foliage reflected from it, but it did little to change the dullness of the view.
"Why did you want to come here?" she asked quietly.
He stood by her side, watching the river, and gathered his courage.
"There are so many things you don't know about me…" he started, wondering how to best approach it. She gave him yet one of those hard-to-read glances.
"And there are so many things you don't know about me," she said, cutting off his chain of thought.
"Eh, yes… of course, but…" For a moment he hoped Sai were around, to help him find the right words. "But… the thing is…I really should tell you something…"
"Yes?" She looked at him expectantly as he just stood there.
"I have always," he started softly, "had this strangest… connection to water. It follows me, always, everywhere, an inseparable part of me… I think it is, partly, what makes me such a good go player."
"Water?" she asked, clearly not quite understanding what he was talking about.
"Yes." He looked down to the river, to the gray water, hearing its whisper, feeling its pull… so very familiar through all his life.
Look, mother! Look what I can do!
He smiled a little and bent down toward the river, looking hard into the water. A whirl appeared in it twirling round and round, and slowly he raised it higher, so that it rose from the river like a tiny whirlwind made of water.
"What…" A rustle of clothes as Hana moved closer. "Are you…"
He glanced up at her with a smile, but seeing her expression, wide eyes and partly open mouth, withdrew his will from the water and let it fall down.
"It's alright," he said standing up. "Don't be scared. I just…"
"I'm not scared," she cut him off, but the look of her eyes contradicted that statement. "How could I be scared of you? No, I'm simply…simply… I have no word for it, but it's not fear, I know that. Or maybe it is…" She reached for his hand and grasped it again, examining it much in the same way as a moment earlier, but the look in her eyes was quite different. "How did you do it?" she whispered. "Have you always been able to… does anyone know?"
He shook his head. "No. You're the first I've told. But I was thinking about telling people. I'm tired of hiding what I am."
"And what are you, then?" she muttered, still giving him a troubled look. "No. Don't. Please, don't… let people know." He shook his head, about to say something, but grasping his hand tighter she didn't give him a chance. "Don't! Please. It would… it would just cause trouble. I know it would. If I did not know you so well, even I… I would…" She swallowed. "I don't want to lose you too. So please, be careful. Don't give anyone reason to think there is something strange about you. Promise me! Promise me you will never let anyone know!"
"Alright, alright! Calm down, there's no need to get so upset about this." He took a hold of her shoulders and looked her evenly into the eyes. "Honestly, Hana-dono, don't take it so. But if it bothers you so much, I…" He paused, watching her face for a long while. "Alright," he said then with a sigh. "I promise."
She smiled, a little weakly. "Good. Let's go away from here." The look she gave the river was long and dwelling, and somehow distrustful.
They had barely taken two steps when voices approached them in the forest.
"There they are, I think I can see them!"
"Hey, Shusaku, next time you want some time alone, tell us first so we don't have to wonder where you disappeared!"
His friends appeared from the forest, laughing and chatting, and the two, both with slight blushes, left the river with them, ignoring their teasing remarks.
So much about it then, Sai stated that night when Torajiro was alone in his room.
The youth frowned. I thought you were going to stay away.
I was. But then I felt you playing with the water and came to take a look. It seems nothing's going to change, for now. Did she say anything about it later?
"No," Torajiro said aloud. Overall, she behaved as if nothing had happened, he went on quietly. He gave a sigh. I want to be with her… but I'd also want to, finally, be myself. Apparently I can't have both…
That, I have noticed, in general seems to be the trouble with life. People never get all they want, and it usually ends badly when they try to get everything. Just be happy with what you have.
Torajiro sighed again. "Easy to say," he muttered.
.
Time passed, and Hana never mentioned again what he had told her that day. Torajiro did notice how she, at times when she thought he wasn't looking, stared at his hands, but always when their eyes met she would smile, and she never hesitated taking his hand when he offered it.
Between Sai's warnings and his promise to her he decided to continue living as he had lived so far. That uncertain feeling of not quite being where he was meant to be didn't go away, though; on the contrary it grew stronger as time went by. He took long walks when the restlessness hit him, accompanied only by Sai. Usually they were engaged into fierce matches of blind go on those walks, but more and more often Torajiro declined the game and just walked, deep in his own thoughts he didn't share with Sai.
Sai couldn't really say anything about the problem. He didn't remember ever having such feelings, but then again, as he pointed out to Torajiro, he had always had his pendant to quell the water's effect – and he had been much younger when his life had ended.
But let me know if anything changes, he told Torajiro worriedly during one of those walks. For better or worse, you understand?
Of course, Torajiro replied, but he sounded absentminded, and Sai wondered if he really heard what he had said.
In the end the next year was almost over before everything was, officially, in order. In mid-December Torajiro, accompanied by his teacher Shuwa, went to the Edo Castle for an audience with the shogun. The marriage took place soon after this. A year later a daughter was born, small and delicate, and to the relief of both of her parents in all appearances completely normal human child. Torajiro named her Izumi, 'a spring', and if his wife would have preferred some less watery name, she said nothing.
From then on life seemed to proceed quite normally. Torajiro's fame as a go player grew, and he was steadily promoted everyyear. The restlessness still followed him, but with his new family and position as the Heir he didn't have much time to dwell on it. He devoted himself to the game during that time, gradually beginning to play his games to his true ability. His free time he spent with his daughter, teaching her go for which she seemed to have some natural ability and interest, and after a while stopped his long, lonely walks. Sai hoped quietly that perhaps the busy family life would in the end cure the restlessness altogether.
Izumi grew into a pretty little girl, the image of her mother. Though she clearly had not inherited her father's stranger qualities, she did have a strong fascination to water. As a little child she would have bathed every day (twice, if just possible), and she never missed a chance to go jumping in the puddles after a rain, no matter how many times she was chastised for such unladylike behavior. Sai assured Torajiro (who in his turn assured his wife) that there was no deeper connection to water and nothing to worry about.
For years they were allowed to live happy family life, but the end for that came abruptly, without a warning. During Izumi's eighth summer they traveled to Innoshima to spend some time in Torajiro's old home. His mother and wife had always got along fine, and with time they had developed into good friends. Kame absolutely adored her granddaughter, although, as Hana observed, she didn't seem to like the girl's love for water, and commanded her quite strictly to stay away from the river. Curious, Hana led the discussion on, and soon heard a plethora of stories from the childhood of her husband, all of them involving more or less watery accidents. She glanced thoughtfully toward Torajiro who at the moment was playing a game with the girl on the terrace, wondering just how much his mother truly knew.
During that visit, in the peace of his home town, Torajiro started taking the long walks again. Now, though, he seemed more relaxed than before on his aimless wanderings, and when Sai remarked on this, he smiled.
"I simply feel more at home here," he said. "I don't know, maybe it's something in the air. Or, in my case it most likely is something in the water. This little river," he stopped on a hill and looked down to it, "has always felt like home to me."
Perhaps it is where you were born, Sai said. I know I'm still often drawn to that lake that gave birth to me.
Torajiro frowned. "Isn't it our mothers who gave birth to us?"
Well, yes, but… you know what I mean. What gave birth to this certain side of us…
"So what is it, really, that gave birth to us?" Torajiro asked. "You've never told me. What are we really?"
…I haven't told you because I don't really know. The water itself, perhaps, or some part of its essence getting into an unborn child still developing in its mother's womb. But I don't know how or why. I've been wondering about it for long, and I'm not sure if I'll ever figure it out.
Torajiro stood still in silence for a moment. "How long are you going to live?" He asked then suddenly, startling Sai a little.
What?
"How long are you going to live?"
I… have never thought about that. But over 800 years have already passed and nothing has changed for me… long, I'd say.
"So you don't ever think of death? Of what happens after? Do you think, if the likes of us will be reincarnated, will we be like this again, or…" He let the sentence trail off. Sai watched him, wondering and a little confused, but there was nothing on his face to tell what he was thinking.
I must admit I have never thought about such things, Sai finally said. Who knows. Perhaps.
"Perhaps." Torajiro sat down, still watching the river. Then he smiled. "So, Kagemaru, would you play a game with me?"
Of course! Sai exclaimed, and soon they were immersed into a world of their own.
One evening, when Torajiro was returning from a walk, running steps approached and Hana rushed to him.
"Have you seen Izumi?" she panted before he could ask what was wrong. "We can't find her anywhere!" she cried out as he shook his head. "What if she has fallen into the river…"
"I don't think so…" Torajiro looked away, feeling the water. Sai? he asked, just in case.
She's not at the river, Sai replied. Or at least not in it.
"She has not," Torajiro said firmly. "But we still must find her. Is everyone looking?"
She nodded. "We have been, for a while. I don't understand where she has gone, and it will get dark soon…" She was wringing her hands, looking desperate, and Torajiro placed his hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry. I'll find him."
I'll look too, Sai said, and his presence vanished. And it wasn't, most likely, surprising that in the end it was he who was the first to find Izumi.
She is at the rocky bend in the river, watching the water foam, he whispered to Torajiro, who stopped and frowned.
"That far? How did she… well, who cares. I know where she is," he added to Hana, who was watching him confusedly.
"What? How?"
"I just… do. It's a bit of a walk, but don't worry, she's okay." Will you see to it that she stays okay, too? he added to Sai quietly.
I'll do my best, Sai promised.
They started hurrying toward the river, followed also by other searchers. It took a while, but finally they reached the river, and as Sai had given him no reports in the meanwhile, Torajiro figured – hoped – that nothing had happened. And soon he saw the girl, crouching on the rocks and watching the foam, as Sai had said.
"Izumi!" Hana shouted. "What are you doing there! Come here right now!"
He had a short moment of déjà-vu there – how often had his mother called after him like that – and for a moment finally understood the constant worry she had had to feel through his entire childhood, but it wasn't quite the time for such guilty reflections. Besides, he knew this river very well, and here the flood was strong, coursing by the rocks with foam and froth, making this a dangerous place.
The girl stood up, waving. "Hi! Isn't it pretty here!"
"Izumi," Torajiro said in his no-nonsense-tolerated voice. "Come here, carefully. The wet stones can be…" He got no further when the girl slipped.
Hana screamed, the men who had followed them were shouting, and somewhere in the back of his mind he could feel Sai too reaching for the girl, but even the water spirit wasn't as fast as he. Torajiro was in the water, flew through it to his daughter when Hana's first scream just broke the air, and he stood up, holding onto the girl.
"Izumi!" Hana was shouting, apparently not even noticing anything strange had happened. The men fell silent, though, staring at him with wide eyes as he walked to the shore, surefooted on the slippery rocky bottom. He gave the startled, crying girl to her mother, who grasped her strongly to her chest. "Izumi! Did you hurt yourself?"
Torajiro stood in the water watching the scene, when he suddenly became aware of Sai shouting something at him, voice frantic.
…get out!
"What?" he asked, or thought he did, but he had a strange feeling, as if he had water in his mouth.
Get out of the water while you still can! Now, Torajiro!
Only now he realized how the men on the shore were staring at him. And Hana, too… she raised her eyes from her still crying daughter and they widened with horror as they settled on him.
What? he asked again, confused.
Get out! Sai shouted again. He took a step, planning to rise on the shore, but found it difficult. The water flowing round his feet made them feel heavy, and as he glanced down he realized he didn't quite know where his feet ended and the water begun.
"What is it?" the men were shouting on the shore. "A water demon!"
"Shusaku," Hana whispered.
Hold on! Sai was shouting. You can still do it! I'll help you, don't let the river claim you!
He tried again, and this time he was able to raise one leg just a little out of the water. The men on the shore gave out frightened shouts, and he wondered what they were seeing.
"It is a demon! Look at it change!"
"No!" Hana sprung to her feet. "It's Shusaku, can't you see!" She tried to reach for him, but the men held her back.
"Hana-dono, don't! Don't let it trick you!"
"Dear gods," someone whispered. "Look at his hair! Has he always been like this…?"
Like what? Torajiro thought to himself, as he painfully slowly was finally able to drag a foot completely out of water and place it on the shore. He paused, staring at it – his foot, yes, but strangely transparent and shivering, as if it had trouble to keep its shape. Only now his eyes fell on a pile of clothes lying rumpled on the shore, and suddenly, to his embarrassment, he realized he had to be naked.
That's not important right now! Sai's voice, and while the water was sucking him back, someone was pushing him out of it. Get out while you still can! Concentrate!
Kagemaru, he whispered. Yes. He closed his eyes and tried to feel himself, feel the ground under one foot and separate himself from the water that lapped against the other, pull apart, even though it hurt. Something was happening, he could feel it, and hear it also in the frightened gasps of the men on the shore. Now he started to raise the other foot, and it was easier, much easier, and he opened his eyes, smiling with relief as he saw the foot look, if still a little pale, otherwise like a normal human foot.
And then he stood there, on the shore, dripping water and shivering, trying to find words to assure everyone that everything was alright, but his tongue didn't obey. Hana picked up his kimono and placed it on his shoulders, wrapping him into it and covering also his hair, which suddenly reached down his back. Most of the men had turned and ran as he came on the shore, but a couple remained, and they helped them back, one carrying the girl, the other – though a little wild-eyed – helping Hana to support him, for suddenly his feet felt like water, about to give away under him.
Izumi got through the ordeal with just a scratch on one hand from a sharp rock, and, of course, a bad fright that gave her nightmares for nights to come. For Torajiro, getting better was harder. If before he had said he felt the pull of the river, now he didn't anymore know how to describe the feeling. It was as if a part of himself was missing. For days he didn't speak – not aloud, that is, for every time he thought he said something, he really didn't, and the only one to hear him was Sai. And nights passed without sleep with him floating in the dark, not sure if he still was himself or about to soak into the ground like water.
The story of what had happened spread fast. Two disciples of the Honinbo school had been with them at the river, and they headed straight to Edo, still frightened. Most who heard their story didn't know what to make out of it, but it was clear that something had greatly terrified these normally level-headed men. Shuwa, the current head of the school, sent a message asking about the heir's condition. Hana sent a short reply, simply stating that Shusaku was sick. Shuwa's reply was just as short, telling them to return to Edo as soon as his condition allowed traveling.
As Hana too wished to return to the capital as soon as possible, to get away from the river and its effect, they started the journey quite soon, although Torajiro wasn't yet quite himself. Once they reached Edo Shuwa came right away to see them, asking what truly had happened. When both husband and wife remained quiet, he gave them a strict look.
"The city is buzzing with rumors. You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to, but at least you have to appear publicly, deny that there is anything strange going on." He gave Torajiro a long look, taking in his pale face, the dark circles under his eyes, and his look that didn't quite focus. "Can you do that?"
As Torajiro still said nothing Hana nodded in his stead. "Of course. He is still weary because of his illness, but…"
"No."
The word was quiet, almost inaudible. Hana paused and looked at her husband.
"No," Torajiro repeated. "I can't… I won't deny anything. I am what I am."
"Don't you understand?" Shuwa exclaimed. "The rumor has it you're some kind of a water demon! Our opponents are saying that the reason for our heir being such an unnaturally brilliant player is just because he is unnatural!"
A weak smile tugged Torajiro's lips. "But that is just the truth, isn't it?"
Shuwa sat back, watching him tightlipped. Torajiro had nothing more to say, and nothing they could say would turn his head. In the end Shuwa saw no other choice but to name a new heir. For the official reason he simply stated that Torajiro's current illness prevented him from taking care of the duties of the heir, but this of course did nothing to quell the rumors. There were those who said it wasn't enough, that the school should completely disown him, but Shuwa couldn't be so hard to someone he had come to think as a son.
Torajiro was in the end the one to ease the situation, saying he would give up the name of Honinbo and return to his childhood home. Hana was strongly opposed to this.
"I can't bring Izumi there, you know that!" was the main argument she used. "Not close to that river! She still has nightmares about it. Besides, it can't be good for you to go there, either. Please, you have to reconsider this."
But Torajiro was adamant in his decision, and in the end he left on his own. "Don't worry," he said to Hana on the day he was leaving. "I won't be alone."
And Sai had, just as adamantly, decided he wouldn't leave Torajiro alone for a single moment. He too had opposed the return to the river, for he knew its proximity wouldn't help Torajiro to regain his balance, but his objections were equally ignored.
Back in Innoshima days passed deceptively peacefully. Torajiro kept to himself, spending most of the days walking, but thankfully he seemed to be avoiding the river's direction. Here, too, people were clearly frightened of the rumors – Sai could see the fear even in Torajiro's parents' eyes when their son wasn't looking – but as long as he bothered no one they didn't seem to be inclined to bother them. And as Torajiro gradually started sleeping better, eating more and gaining some color on his cheeks again, Sai relaxed, beginning to believe everything would yet be alright.
…perhaps I relaxed too much, too soon. One night I returned to his room to check on him and found him gone. It didn't take me long to locate him – or his body, rather. I don't know how he managed to do it so quietly I never noticed anything, how I did not feel anything in the waters… I found him in the river, drowned. If I only had kept true to my decision never to leave him alone…
I don't know how he did it, either. Somehow he found a way to give away what was water in him – even his hands had lost their web, there were just shreds left of it. It must have been hard for him to hold himself together, stay human, as he entered his birth waters. But he did it, and died as a human. I hope he has been reborn as one, too.
A/N: I… don't think Honinbo Shusaku had any children? At least I've not been able to find any mentions of them. But then again, it was surprisingly hard to find out pretty much anything about his family – like, for example, his wife's name. Just for the record, it really was Hana, and his mother's name was Kame. And some more name trivia, now that I got started: Shusaku was born as Kuwabara/Kuwahara Torajiro (it's uncertain which reading of his family name was used) This was his mother's family name. His father, Yasuda Wazo, married into the family. I've no idea why Torajiro for a while used his father's family name (first being Yasuda Eisai, and then Yasuda Shusaku) before he took the Honinbo name. The name Eisai amuses me, though, just because in Finnish it's like No-sai. That's why I wanted to have it mentioned in the fic at least in passing. But people really changed names a lot those days!
Next chapter comes... when it comes. December is going to be a killer, work-wise. All comments are always appreciated, a big thank you to those who have reviewed/favorited this so far!