Disclaimer: I do not own Hunger Games and anything from the novels is attributed to its author.

I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. Reviews do help the muses flow easier since I know people are enjoying what I write. So please review if you can. It really helps a lot!

I'm trying not to do such a long wait in between chapters but I have an exam almost every week and it is hard to find time to write. I also am a beta reader for two other stories on , which consume my time as well. For those of you, who have stuck with me from the beginning, thank you. Here is the next installment.

Enjoy!

Chapter 19

The Dinner Rumble

Dinner is a silent affair.

After Katniss drops the little bomb Haymitch discovered during the Chariot Parade, I am unable to form words or a distinguishable reaction. My body is numb, unable to process the words she utters to me after an already stressful day. How did the capitol plan to accomplish this? Unless they did a brain switch with me and another tribute, I will not be able to hurt Peeta even if he is moments away from killing me. It is impossible to turn off my feelings for him and to separate them from the oncoming games. It isn't physically possible for me to kill Peeta Mellark.

Before I can form a coherent sentence to ask how Haymitch discovered this little juicy tidbit of information, there is a loud and ear-shattering call from the peacock. "Dinnertime!" I wince at the painful noise, wondering if I will have working ears by the end of my time with Effie Trinket. At the rate she is going, I doubt it. Better go rescue Peeta before Effie gets her hands on him.

Katniss gives me a look that clearly means we will talk later as she exits the room before me. Taking a deep breath to help calm my racing heart, I plaster a fake smile on my face as I follow her. The dining area is easy to find, just down the hallway and to the right. The chaos that awaits us within is nothing and everything that I thought it might be.

This is the sight that greets us as we join the rest of our party at the dining table. Haymitch's earlier flattery seems to have given a new meaning to the word confidence for the peacock, if her strutting around the table is any indication. Haymtch is already wobbly on his feet, an empty glass leaving his lips as he slams it hard on the table. Effie makes an annoyed chirp, sneering distastefully at Haymitch's drunken antics. Haymitch makes a degrading insult in response, causing Effie to angrily go off on him. Peeta is caught in-between the two idiots, watching their entertaining display with mild amusement from his seat at the table. Maybe he doesn't need anyone to rescue him after all.

Katniss groans in frustration, shaking her head as she rushes forward to steal the alcohol cantor away from Haymitch and drag him away from Effie. He makes a grunt of protest, almost unable to form intelligent words to argue against her actions. I can't help but giggle at their immature antics, wondering if the two realized how much they acted like a daughter watching out for their drunken father. It delves up feelings of jealousy within me, which I immediately squash down before they are able to take root. I lost my chance at that type of relationship with Haymitch long ago.

Putting on a brave face, I enter the war zone that is supposed to be the dining area with hesitant steps. Peeta immediately spots me, motioning over with his hand to the safe side of the table. I quickly avoid the tug of war that is slowly becoming a wrestling match as I sit down in the unoccupied seat next to him. A sigh of relief escapes me, my frantic heartbeat bruising the inside of my ribcage as I try to get my body to calm down.

"So do you suppose Katniss can take them both on?" Peeta prods, laughter dancing in his blue eyes as he watches me. My still frantic heart beats faster much to my discomfort, causing my next few breaths to be painful and dizzying. Damn Peeta for being adorable.

I give him a contemplative look, pretending to give his question some thought. A mischievous smile forms as I cock my head to the side. "I don't know. Depends on how much alcohol Haymitch has had and how many brain cells of Effie's are working." I state impishly, unable to keep the playfulness out of my eyes.

Deep and throaty laughter escapes him, making me jump in alarm. He shakes his head, unable to keep the ear splitting smile off his face. "Remind me never to get on your bad side." He replies in a matter of fact tone, the characteristic grin of his taking hold. My breath catches as I realize how handsome he looks with such a careless and happy expression on his face. Damn it all to hell.

A deep blush floods my cheeks as I fight the urge to touch him. No matter what Peeta's feelings for me are, this playful and teasing interaction between us is too natural. For his sake and mine, I hope he only sees me as the adorable little sister he never had. There is no future for us. The very idea of a romance blossoming between us during the games makes me nauseous. The capitol would love to watch a romance blossom and then die as we are forced to fight one another for survival.

This dawning realization hits me with enough force to trap the air in my lungs. I gasp as if in pain, my hands trembling as the answer to my earlier question came to full light. This is what the capitol wants to happen between us. Our reactions from the reaping and my familial relations to Katniss sealed our fate. The capitol is able to see the same natural interactions between us that I picked up on and are desperate to use it against us. They will find a way to make me kill Peeta with my own hands despite my feelings for him. What am I going to do?

Peeta rests his hand on my shoulder, concern seen clearly on his face. "You alright Nightlock?" He prompts, his words laced with worry. I give him a faint smile in response, which causes Peeta to frown and turn his body to face me completely. His free hand moves anxiously through his hair, a troubled look coming over him. "Don't lie to me, Nightlock. If we want to survive in the arena, we have to learn to trust each other." Peeta exclaims, ignoring the ongoing drama erupting across the table from us.

I chew on my bottom lip nervously, wondering if I can reveal the private information Haymitch gleamed for us. Peeta deserves to know what the capitol is planning to make us do in the arena. He might even have a few ideas on how to address the problem. However, Peeta is unaware of my own personal plans for him. Would it be possible to discuss this with him without bringing up my own intentions? It is worth a shot.

"Later. Meet me later on the roof." I whisper quickly, not wanting anyone to notice the direction our conversation is heading. My grey eyes meet intrigued blue, a quirky grin forming as Peeta's concern for me melts away. I do my best to reassure him with a smile, knowing I must look like a deranged idiot at the moment.

A frown still mars Peeta's face as he nods in acknowledgement. "Later then. I will hold you to your promise." Peeta declares softly, his hand giving my shoulder a quick squeeze before dropping to his side. His muscles relax into a pleasant mask, attention now focused on the resulting chaos between our mentors and the capitol escort.

The smile drops from my lips the second he looks away. The frantic heart beating in my chest constricts my lungs, the dizzying feeling from before returning. Anger threatens to overtake me as I fight the urge to scream. Why can't anything ever be easy? One thing after another has me fighting to keep my head afloat and not drown in the misery that threatens to pull me under. I will truly be on my own in these games if I continue on my silent path towards my own destruction. Maybe this talk with Peeta later will be my salvation.

The verbal sparring match across the table has reached its peak and my last nerve. Katniss's cold glare towards Haymitch puts me on edge, her vice-like grip on his arm registering to him through the drunken anger. Effie's wig is lopsided, her painted cheeks flushed with anger as she continues to berate Haymitch. Why must such petty concerns from selfish individuals disrupt dinner for those who wish to enjoy one last night before we begin training on how to murder another tribute. Don't these idiots care about anyone else except themselves? I've had enough.

My hands ball into fists at my side, the anger in me simmering to a boil. Moving on my own volition, my seat is shoved back as I stand, toppling over in my fury. Slamming my hands forcefully down on the table, I shout loudly to gain their attention. "Enough!"

All eyes are redirected at me, expressions ranging from drunken outrage to shock as the room goes quiet. Effie's face flushes bright red in embarrassment, her hands fumbling to right the lopsided wig. Katniss studies my face calmly, concern flickering in her eyes at my sudden outburst. Haymitch directs a full drunken scowl at me, causing Peeta to shift anxiously at my side. At least I got their attention.

"Thank you." I state sarcastically, the anger from earlier bating a bit at their silence. Shifting half my weight into my hands and toes, I take the time to collect my thoughts before I go off on the idiots. "I was beginning to wonder if I would have to sit at the table with squabbling children with the way you three were acting." I retort spitefully, anger and disdain flickering in my grey eyes.

"Now Sweettart, who are you calling children?" Haymitch drunkenly ripostes, anger at my disrespect beginning to seep into his eyes. He grabs an empty glass on the table, holding it up at eye level as he continues to speak. "If you want us to act like children, Nightlock, then we will." He exclaims calmly before throwing the glass at the wall behind her.

It shatters upon contact, forcing Peeta to react in defense as he pulls me away from our seats. His hand grips my wrist, wrenching me into his arms and away from the flying shards of glass. Peeta directs a livid scowl towards Haymitch as he shouts. "What the hell is your problem Haymitch? Are you trying to kill her?"

A drunken laugh escapes him as he stares distastefully in our direction. ":If you must know Mr. Mellark, that little brat there has done nothing but make my job harder to keep you two alive. I am at my limit with her spoiled antics that her sister refuses to amend." Haymitch replies angrily, casting a quick glare in Katniss's direction.

The shock from Haymitch's actions disappears with his hateful words. Something inside me snaps as I lash out in response to his accusations. "A spoiled brat, am I?" I screech, fighting Peeta's hold on me as I reach out with my arms in an effort to strangle him. "This coming from a drunk who needs others to take care of him. What do you know about me? That I am just Katniss's, the Girl on Fire's, bratty little sister that has just gotten reaped. Do you have any idea the hell my family has gone through these past few years?" I cry angrily, wanting nothing more than to hurt him right now.

"Please enlighten me, sweettart."

"You really want to know? Then should I tell you of the horror of having to watch your older sister go through the games only to return a broken victor that takes every ounce of your strength and effort to hold her together. How about after losing our father the agonies of having to watch your younger sister slowly starve to death despite your best efforts to scrounge up food for her. Or maybe the struggle of maintaining your own sanity as everyone around you leaves you and your own mother abandons you. Which would you like to hear Haymitch?" I shout desperately, my most inner secrets escaping me before I can bite down on my tongue.

Peeta's hold on me tightens as I settle hateful eyes on Haymitch. Who is he to question me? He has no right to judge me after wallowing in his own self-pity for more years then I have been alive. Miserable drunk. I am so tired of defending myself to him. Why couldn't Haymitch just leave me be? "I may be a lot of things Haymitch but a spoiled brat I am not." I murmur quietly, all the fight leaving me with these words.

Dry sobs wrack my frame, the force of my confession liberating and draining at the same time. I become a heavy weight in Peeta's arms, no longer able to support myself. Between the stress of arriving at the capitol and emotional strain from the day's events, I am surprised it took me this long to have a breakdown. Leave it to Haymitch to be the one to set me off.

Peeta wraps his arms around me, cradling me against his chest. One hand strokes my hair while the other rubs my lower back in comforting circles. Peeta with his quiet strength is the only thing that is keeping me from running from the room crying. His voice reaches me in my emotionally drained state. "Everything is going to be alright."

His statement gives me the strength to look up despite trembling under the intensity of his stare. I lick my lips, throat parched from abuse as I try to find words to say. They are caught in my throat, refusing to listen as I plea with them to come. Tears sting my grey eyes for the first time all night, fighting against my iron clad control. I will not break down in front of all of them. Tears are weakness here in the capitol.

"You can talk to us little sister."

Little sister, the phrase I never wanted to hear leave his lips. My heart shuts down, refusing to allow these words to penetrate. Numb floods through me, all emotion evaporating as my gaze drops to the floor. The dry sobs have stopped, my body too much in shock to move or even try to process that I should still be upset. "Thank you, Peeta." I whisper softly, the words sounding flat to my ears.

I refuse to look at him as my eyes seek out my sister across the table. The bitterness I see grates at me, trying to work its way around my numbness under her judging eyes. Giving her a regretful smile, I switch my gaze to Haymitch. Drowning pools of sorrow stare back, almost daring me to yell or insult him again after my little outburst. I bite my tongue, an apology no longer seeming adequate for the situation at hand. I sure know how to put my foot in my mouth.

Effie sensing the underlying tension in the room, attempts to create a distraction. "Well, it is time for dinner. Let's all sit down and enjoy a quiet meal together." She chirps, gesturing towards the table like nothing happened and tugging at Haymitch's arm. She receives a grunt of protest as she attempts to drag Haymitch over towards his seat.

Slowly I pull away from Peeta, still refusing to look him in the eye, as I take back my original seat. Katniss sits down across with me with Effie next to her. Haymitch is forced to sit at the head of the table much to his annoyance with an alcoholic drink in his hand. Not a word is exchanged between any of us as the food is served and we eat quietly amongst each other.

Peeta's eyes don't leave me the entire dinner. As I chew on a piece of meat that tastes like ash on my tongue, I can't help but want to escape back to my room. The image of being an animal on display for others to gawk at comes to mind under his irritating gaze. After everything that I've been through today, from playing dress up doll with Effie, suffering torture in the name of beauty, and presenting a strong front to the capitol, I am exhausted. Don't I deserve to be left alone to my own thoughts? Why am I even sitting here calmly eating at the table if no one is preventing me from leaving?

Without a word to any of my companions, I drop my fork in my plate and stand. My chair clatters to the floor behind me as everyone stares at my sudden abrupt movement. Not wishing to give them any indication of my intentions, I walk swiftly from the room before anyone can protest. I have had enough with this friendly charade known as dinner.