1 year later Things have not gotten any easier. Every little thing I see reminds me of him, from the most heard sarcastic comment, to even a piano playing. In some ways I was hoping that the pain would get easier over time, but it hasn't. I thought I could go on from this, but obviously I won't. Lately I have been asking myself why did he just end it. Maybe he thought he would have peace, maybe he thought he wouldn't hurt anymore people. Either way he left people to deal with the aftermath. I was hoping to go on living, doing the things I've wanted to do for a long time. I think that everyday from now on will be a struggle. I don't think it's worth going through again everyday. I think I should just end it. I have been sitting here thinking about it for almost a day, and I think it's the right thing to do. I hope that maybe there is something after this life, maybe I will be reunited with him. THe bottle of vicodin has been sitting here for the past week. That was the way he did it. Finally I grabbed the bottle and popped off the top. I swallowed all of the pills, and the last thing I was thinking about was Gregory House. Then, there was no pain.