A/N: heyho a new chapter is here :) i'm sorry it took quite long but school has started and blah blah.. you know the shit so well, right? so, thank you all for the love:

thesandbar, LoveSparkle, Kat nee-san, xJarlosxAustlex,
and of course thanks to everyone else who is following and reading :) I sometimes may forget to thank you all but you know it I hope :)

apologies for any mistakes you may find.. here comes Kendall.. be friends with him :) he's quite awesome!

oh and read my other new fiction "Heartbreak boy", all of you who like this little Kenlos bonding will love that story because that is a Kenlos one heheh now, enjoy Chapter 6 below!

Chapter 6

"The way he talks is the cutest thing, and then his laugh!" Kendall kept rambling on about how amazing just Logan was, and I did my best to pay attention at him, but I was certain I'd fail soon, miserably.

Ever since we'd headed home from school where he'd come for me, I was quiet. Sooner or later it would occur to him that something was up.

The past week had been very boring. I had avoided James, or his father, and mom too. I didn't want to see anyone. I had been doing a lot of studying so I could get my grade from English a little straighter. When I wasn't studying, I just lay in bed or sat at the computer, editing codes for websites and stuff like that. It kept me busy and relaxed. I didn't have to think about the idiot stepbrother of mine. I didn't need it.

But without thinking about him, my life had become empty.

I hadn't much realized it till now that only the mere thought of James could make me smile. He was a good boy to the heart, but sadly his brain could make him do bad things. He didn't know how to think with his heart, how to forgive his father, or forgive himself.

I'd told him I didn't blame him for a thing that had happened between us - not the bullying, not the kiss, nothing. But I knew better than to believe that my words actually had affected him.

However, I needed to be free from all kinds of thoughts about James, because if he got into my mind then I was screwed. From then I couldn't think of anything else, but the smile on his face when we watched the stars together.

I wondered if I was ever going to get that picture out of my head.

And here I am thinking about him again. Kendall and I turned to the street where I lived, and he was still talking. Lucky for me.

I caught a word here and there, first kiss, then, his lips taste like cherry. And some more details that in other situations I would not have preferred to hear. But it was Kendall, and he apparently was crushing on Logan deeply, so I just listened to his smooth voice, but my mind was wrapped around James.

Till we arrived to my room and Kendall threw himself to the floor beside my bed, I wasn't aware that Kendall did notice that I was not paying attention to what he said. But when he stopped talking and glared at me like I was an alien, I knew I was in trouble.

He patted the carpet opposite to where he sat. I lowered face to face with him and sighed. "So what is exactly going on in your head?" He asked.

Now I knew that he just didn't want to discuss my problems on the street, so he waited till we were in my room.

"A lot of things." I shrugged. "And yet nothing." I wanted to lie to my best friend like I had any chance with Kendall. He wasn't going to eat the shit I wished to shove down his throat. But I had to give it a try. The big love of his for Logan might have blinded him a little. "I'm failing from English. I'm trying to figure out how not to."

"Yeah, yeah. Do you think I'm a newbie or something? I won't buy that crap. Seriously, what's wrong?" Kendall slid closer to me and put his hands onto my knees. "Is it something with the dude who hurts you at school? Or something with your new family? You don't tell me everything lately, and ... well, it worries me, Carlos."

I bit on my lip. "A little bit of both. I didn't tell you because you are so happy with Logan and ... I don't know, I didn't want to ruin it?"

"That's a very stupid reason. You can only make me upset if you close up in front of me like you lately do. So please?" He lifted his eyebrows and grinned at me with the -come-on-I'll-do-anything- face.

I exhaled and began. "Something is up in this family and I don't know what it is. I'm having a hard time believing that James couldn't forgive his father after all these years. He is a good man and caring and loves mom too and I just don't get it why James won't see that. I just don't."

"Carlos." Kendall patted my knees. "You need to understand that not everyone is as forgiving and kindhearted as you are. It might be more than you know about and I'm sure in time these things will come out. And then you'll have a better picture about the situation and you may understand James better."

Damn you for being so smart. "Yeah. I'm afraid of that, to be honest."

"What?"

"Finding out what the more is, you know? So far I like Christopher a lot and I fear that if I find out what's going on, I'll hate the bloke just as James does."

"Yeah, you're also having a hard time hating on anyone. You need to change that Los. It's okay to be mad at people. Sometimes."

"I don't want to be like that. I want to ... you know be nice to everyone. Everyone's gotta get a chance."

"Yeah, but if they play that chance you don't just give them more and more."

"Well, I do." I shrugged. "I want to believe that everyone can be a good person."

"That's nice." Kendall said. "But it's not exactly like that, Carlos. It usually takes time for people to give other chances to someone who's once played one. For you it takes about a minute, because you are too nice and don't want to have a bad relationship with anyone. If Christopher has really done something bad that James hates him for, you're free to be upset with him too. I know you don't want to hurt your mom's feelings with not accepting him, but your mom can't tell you how to feel about something or someone. It's the choice of your heart. Yours."

"I hope he didn't do a thing though." I sighed throwing my head back and thinking of a smiling James. "I want to open up James' eyes so he could see how amazing of a father he's got. But if something ... bad appears from Christopher's past ... I'll be a fool for being naive."

Kendall's hands came to each of my cheeks leading my gaze back at him. "You're naive at times, but you're good at the heart and people appreciate that shit more than anything. The fact that you want these people who are still almost strangers to you, to be getting on well with each other, is very nice. You care about everyone and anyone, Carlos, you're a great boy, but you need to learn that sometimes you can be bad. When someone does something to you that hurts you or someone that you love, you just be bad and get upset over them, and don't feel stupid if you want to punch the shit outta them." His palms remained on my face.

"Okay, thanks." I smiled and he released me.

"You're welcome." Kendall chuckled. "Anytime. And now, anything else you want to tell me?"

I blushed. I needed to get this out. "I like him."

Kendall shook his head with a confused expression on his face. "Who?"

"James." I coughed. Kendall's jaw dropped.

"Wait. You like him like you want to do stuff with him ... touch him, kiss him ... ?" I nodded yes. "Oh-oh-oh-oh!" He started singing. "And have you guys had some action?" He made a kissy face and I threw a pillow at him.

"Aw shut up! See that's why I'm not telling you these things!" I turned ruby read and drew my eyes away from his.

"Ah come on, Carlos. I'm just teasing you." Pulling me back to him, Kendall's voice softened. "I'm your best friend, you say, can a best friend not tease his best friend?"

"You don't make any sense." I snapped grinning.

He started laughing, "that's my Carlos!" He clapped and then continued, "tell me everything!"

"There's nothing to tell. We kissed once. I freaked out and ... " I'm not telling you that he bullied me ... oh shit. "Things got weird and we avoid being in the same room ever since then."

"This was your first kiss, am I correct?"

I nodded yes yet again. "And just what did you freak out about?"

"He's my stepbrother, hello! I'm the only one who thinks it's wrong?!" I got up from the floor and started walking around the room. From one corner to another. "It's just not right. If things turn to the wrong direction then it will cause problems in our family and that would be very very bad for mom and Christopher. We can't do it. I like him a lot but it's not right. I'll just get over it because I don't even know him that much so it won't be that hard, right? It can't be." I stopped glancing down at my friend who still sat on the floor at my bed. "What?"

"It is never easy to get over someone." He said with a plain expression on his face. "You don't have much experience yet, but believe me, I know what I'm saying. And the way you're about him tells me that even though you don't know him that much yet, you are seriously into him."

"Ah no." I kicked the foot of my bed. "I don't want to be."

"Why?" Kendall finally got up from the carpet and pushed me away from the bed before I'd have done any harm to it. "Is he a bad boy?"

Yes. "No. He's a good boy with bad habits. But also he is a real sweetheart about things that he has got a passion for. God. I want him to be that passionate about me too!"

"Dude," Kendall laughed lightly. It was the kind of laugh when you pity someone. "You're in big trouble." We settled on the end of the bed. "Is he passionate about sucking dick or something?"

"Christ!" I pulled away from my friend and wondered if it was still my friend sitting next to me or some pervert that I for an unknown reason had mistaken with Kendall. "No! Jesus, ever since you know Logan you're bringing up sex in every conversation we have!"

"Because I want to have sex with him?" He wasn't good with sarcasm. "Look, I know you don't like talking about sex, okay, I'm sorry. Logan just ... gets me all horny and I can't help it. And I'm only asking this because if this James dude is a man whore then you are better off without him!"

"He is not a man whore. Holy shit, Kendall." I shook my head in disbelief. "Why do you even assume such a thing?"

"Just because. Someone with a past like that is not good for you. They'll use you and then throw you away."

I knew he was speaking from experience so I didn't push it any further. I decided I was just going to forget this little scene. "Thanks for ... uhm worrying about me. Now. Help me how to forget him. I tried with studying and avoiding him but we live together and I can't fucking turn round every time I notice that he is coming to the room."

"Well, yeah. You need a plan."

"God, you're very productive today." I laughed pushing him aside and nearly making him fall off the bed. Kendall pushed me too and we broke out in laughter.

"Shut up, Carlitos you little love bird!" It was pretty much like when we were kids. Back then it was always me teasing him with the love bird thing. Kendall could so easily fall in love with anyone. And with that he'd gotten his heart broken so many times over the tight seventeen years of his.

Exhausted from joy of our great friendship, we both lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Kendall's arms protectively came around me. "I've got you, Carlos. I'll help you in anything you want me to."

"Thank you." I said. "I love you."

"I love you too." Kendall said tickling my stomach and then rolling me off the bed. I wanted to punch him, but we just laughed on and on.

Every single day I gave thanks for Kendall's friendship. He was the one and only, and I couldn't have asked for a better friend.