A/N: guys. I'm very busy with school and work so please be patient. I hope you like it.

Chapter 7

As we stopped fooling around with Kendall to get some air to our exhausted lungs, I heard the front door shutting in. I jumped off the bed knowing that it had to be mom arriving home from the grocery store and she surely was going to need some help.

I pulled Kendall up too and he followed me out of my room. I left my door wide open when we had come home, I thought no one was in the house. But when Kendall and I stepped out to the hallway we found James sitting in front of his door on the carpet.

Kendall eyed me for explanation, and then leaned down to me, "Didn't you guys give him a room?"

My elbow dug into his stomach so he shut his mouth up. I glanced at James but he wouldn't look up. "Let's go." I said to my friend and we made it downstairs.

Once Kendall knew that we were out of earshot for James, he started questioning me. "What was that? Why did he sit there? Do you think he heard us? Do you think he feels something for you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, I don't care. I told you that it's not right. If he heard it then it's even better because he knows it too that even if he tried I wouldn't get into a relationship with him."

"Yeah, yeah okay." We approached the kitchen, but before we entered, Kendall grabbed my arm, "There is more to it, I see, and I'll find it out, Carlos. If this kid has hurt you, I'll get him."

Hours later Kendall was gone and I sat in my room studying. I was trying to study. But my mind kept replaying that scene when this afternoon I walked out of my room and saw James on the floor. I kind of felt bad for the kid. I said some pretty rough shit and maybe I was over-thinking the whole thing.

This case with my feelings for James started to give me a headache so I decided I go out for some fresh air. Quietly pacing down on the stairs I heard mom and Christopher chatting in their room. They laughed. They seemed to be happy together. The thought of my mother finally receiving some of what she deserved, made me smile every time I thought about it.

I pulled the front door closed behind me and headed for the bench on the front porch. I liked sitting there. Mom told me that dad used to spend a lot of time here. Being outside in the cooling night was a freeing feeling. I was thinking about my father, about mom and our new life. I wondered what daddy would tell me now. I wished I could remember his voice. But my memory betrayed me and it saddened me a little. I looked up at the sky and sighed hoping daddy was watching me.

"It's beautiful tonight. Isn't it?" I heard James saying somewhere behind me. Do not turn.

Indeed the sky was beautiful. At such cold night the stars were shining like they intended to warm up the Earth a little.

"Yeah." I held my gaze up on the dark nothing.

"You know, I was thinking how we should get past this awkward tension between us. Carlos, I really didn't want to hurt you, and even if you don't believe me now I have my reasons to be mad at my father too. I also know that this time is just as hard for you as it is for all of us. And exactly this is why we should forget everything and start a new page, or a whole new chapter." James moved and soon he blocked the view of the sky in front of me. He was so tall and so damn attractive it made me shiver. No, it's just the cold.

But it wasn't. It was James. I could barely make out his frame but still I knew he was perfect. Even if he was only a shadow, he was a beautiful one.

I started thinking about what he tried to say. Yes, I knew what we needed was starting a whole new kind of relationship. the one that brothers should have. But was it a good idea for me to push my feelings back and develop our brotherly bond? It would mean us being together more and knowing each other better and things would be even worse. But if I didn't give it a try, I could easily ruin the family. We needed to work something out.

Acknowledging that James had accepted my mother and me as part of his family despite all of what his dad had done, I realized that he deserved a chance. It would be hard on him too if we couldn't live together. Though I didn't quite understand how he managed to live with us if he didn't like his father.

I looked at him in the eye. "You don't like your father." I began. "How come you don't want to ruin his relationship with my mother?"

James seemed to be confused and caught off guard by my question. "My not liking of my father has nothing to do with your mom's happiness. For some reason she sees something in him that makes her happy and if so then I'm all supportive. Besides if they broke up we would leave this house and I would be with him again, all alone. It's good this way. Your mother is a really good woman."

"Okay." That answer was enough for me. I believed him, I wanted to believe. We had this little thing common. Who knew that James Diamond would put someone else's happiness forward his own? "What next?"

"We may go inside." I literally heard his teeth clattering. "I'm fucking cold." He pulled his coat tighter around himself.

I laughed quietly and turned round, he was following me.

We didn't make a sound till we reached upstairs. I stood in front of my door. "Do you think we could .. uhm do something together?" James came to face me before I grabbed the knob.

"Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"Do you like doing some sport or watching it ... or something you know.. "

I smiled. He was cute when he scratched the back of his head like that. "Yeah, anything you like. We'll figure it out."

That put a smile onto his face which somehow had gotten a nice rosy shade since we had walked in to the house. "Okay. Good night, Carlos."

"Good night, James." I hurried in to my room and blew out a breath relieved that we were making up, but at the same time I was afraid of just what tomorrow would bring.

Mom and Christopher were in the kitchen by the time I got downstairs the next morning. And James was smiling at me from across the table.

"Morning sweetie." Mom cheered and pushed a freshly made sandwich into my hands. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did. Thank you." Sanking in to a chair I smiled at her and then at James. "I was thinking about what we could do today."

"Oh?" Probably I suprised James by bringing this up.

I nodded. "Yeah there's a concert, Kendall mentioned it the other day. He's going there with his new friend and I thought we may join."

"Great for me."

"Is this concert today?" Mom asked interrupting my staring at James.

"Yes. Why?"

"You can't stay out too long because tomorrow you'll have school."

"We'll be fine, mom." I wanted to go and James apparently liked the idea too.

"Let them go, love." Christopher stepped to mom and putting a hand of his onto her shoulder, he said. They exchanged a few glances that probably was their quiet arguing, then mom turned to me and nodded approvingly.

I exhaled a sigh of relief and heard James doing the same.

We had breakfast, mom and Chris (he insisted on me calling him that) chattered on and on but neither James nor me gave much attention to what they said. I know my mind was somewhere else. I couldn't stop thinking of what just made James hate his father so much and yet how he could live with him and accept mom and I as his new family. Though I didn't know what James was thinking about, I guessed that he wasn't exactly present either. He seemed to be very off and I supposed it was because of our upcoming activity after school.

I was nervous.

The thought of school I didn't like.

Deep silence hugged us as we walked down the streets. I wasn't sure just what to tell to James. i didn't want to push my luck. He wanted to be friends and if he meant it then I was willing to try. And I wasn't going to ruin it. But fuck. He looked so handsome that morning. His hair was a mess, he obviously hadn't had a comb in his hand in the morning. And he wore tight jeans and a white shirt. The top two buttons were undone. I could fucking see some of his chest hair. Gosh! He's got chest hair!

"What are you lookin' at?" He caught me staring.

"Uhm, nothing." I hoped he'd let it go. I noticed that he glanced down at himself trying to figure out what I had been watching. "I just think you wear that shirt better than another guy that I saw the other day." A quick lie may save me.

"Of course I wear it better. I wear anything better than anyone would." A little arrogance as it appeared was in James. God knew I even liked it in him. He was spying me for a reaction with a wide grin on his face. I was sure that he somehow knew I lied. But I didn't much care. Finally I turned to him and laughed a little.

It was always easy with James. Even if it at first sight it seemed to be an awkward beginning, we managed to move past the difficulties. "I'll wear this same outfit tonight. You think I'll be good?"

"I think you will." I assured him. "You'll melt hearts and panties."

"Yeah. Or the other thing." He winked.

I just grinned embarrassed, already aware that my underwear was melted. It's going to be tougher than I thought to be your friend.

"I know it's probably not the best topic to talk about, but are you looking for a relationship?" I had absolutely no clue why I had to ask just that out of the million questions that I had in mind.

James shrugged. "Not really. If someone cute comes up, yeah I may give it a shot, but anyways I'm not pushing it, you know."

"I see." I kept walking.

"Why did you ask?"

"I was just curious. I mean, you're quite the type who looks like one that shouldn't go a day alone."

"Yeah people keep telling me that." Some sort of sadness settled in his voice. "But a little loneliness is good for everyone. It's not in the looks anyways. You can be anyone, anywhere in the world. Everyone has got a soul mate. I think it's better to not push it. It will come around. When the time is right."

"Maybe." I wondered if I should tell him. "I've never had anyone. Actually, you were my first kiss." Looking up at him I was seeking for an answer, but eventually I realized there wasn't going to be one. I put ourselves into silence again. Congratulations, Carlos. Winner of killing a conversation.

But I just couldn't think straight when James was around.

How I was going to deal with the rest?