A/N: Hey guys! Early update since, I don't know, I feel a little jittery. Got a bit of a block so. Hoping you guys can help me out of it. ;) Here's the next chapter, with Akihito's POV and awkward switch back to Hiroomi. ; A ; I give up what is life how do you even write omq. Anyhow, enjoy!

Akihito had always been strangely aware of Hiroomi. Perhaps it was because he was the closest he would get to a father figure in life. And maybe that's why he was so acutely aware of what the raven-haired male did, even when he thought the blond wasn't looking.

While Hiroomi stood there and cooked, his mind obviously a million miles away, Akihito could only stare at his face, imprinting each and every expression, no matter how minor, into his memory. He could remember the momentary falter in Hiroomi's actions, and the faint pink that dusted his cheeks as he darted a look at the blond, and how strange it looked on the emerald-eyed male.

Why was it strange? He didn't know why but it did. But it was a good strange, kind of like when you see a dog protecting a cat, or read a book where your favourite character dies, but was written spectacularly. It was like drinking a strange new type of tea, bitter at first then gradually turning sweeter. It was strange in the way that it wanted you to search for more. In the way that it lures you in and hooks you, like an addiction.

Yes. It was strange because it was like an addiction.

But there was no time for serious contemplation, because in the next second, Hiroomi let out a sharp, low hiss and Akihito's heart leapt to his throat.

And perhaps that was also why he, without a second thought, felt and acted upon the need to comfort the raven-haired male, to make him look strange again, albeit in a peculiar way, his body unconsciously moving to grasp the emerald-eyed male's hand and put his finger in his mouth, savouring the taste. It was an odd thing to do, but he didn't regret it. When he flicked his eyes up momentarily, he saw an expression he had never seen before on Hiroomi and his heart thudded to a stop. The green-eyed male had an intense look in his eyes; a look a predator would give their prey, hungry, craving, lustful and his body was soft and loose but emanated an aura of power and energy and Akihito felt a delightful shiver run down his spine. He lowered his eyes quickly and back up, but in that single second, that had all gone. Hiroomi was back to his usual self and the blond felt strangely dissatisfied.

"Akkey….what are you doing?"

The words nudged him back into reality and he let go, horrified- No. He was embarrassed. Incredibly embarrassed, and Akihito could feel the heat rising to his face. "I…" Why had he done it? Why did he do something so inexplicably strange? Why wasn't he horrified? "I-I was just…" His head started to hurt and a dull pounding spread through his mind, reaching the deepest darkest corners, every nook and cranny and, with a feather-light touch, set them aflame. The pain got worse and his head felt like it was going to split when suddenly, it dissipated and he felt peaceful again; like a hand had reached through the haze and pulled him into the bright, bright sunlight. Like the clouds had been quietly moved apart and the soft morning rays greeted him like an old friend.

Akihito blinked and came face to face with Hiroomi's kind, sad eyes, and he could feel warmth radiating from the hand resting gently on his head. "You're a good kid Akkey." Akihito needed to say something. Anything. So he blurt something out numbly, unsure of exactly what he said until his head had registered the sounds his mouth had made.

"I'm not a kid."

And it was as if all of a sudden, a switch had been turned in Hiroomi and he turned so cold. Cold as ice. Colder than ice. "Fine, if you're not such a kid anymore go set the table; the curry's almost done." His emerald eyes lost its life and slid away from his face and Akihito's entire body was internally screaming. Screaming for the life to come back, for Hiroomi to be normal again, for Hiroomi to not treat him as if he was different.

Akihito hesitated. Should he try? Try to get Hiroomi to be himself again? Try to cling onto a semblance of normalcy? No. He was too scared to. If he was rejected…

His body seized up just thinking about it and he pushed the idea away, instead focusing on the mundane task of setting the table, forcing his body to make the moves that would normally come so easily to him. All the while his mind whirring along, zipping down the tracks of his thoughts as if they were non-existent. Memories flooded his head.

"A-Akihito-kun, you were hit by the c-car. W-Where did your injuries go?"

Fear. Only fear.

"Don't kill us! Please!"

Why would you think that? I would never harm anyon-

Blood. Blood everywhere. On his clothes. On his hands. On his clothes. Ripped. His back was ripped. Shredded.

Did I do that? Did I hurt him?

"Monster. You're a monster."

I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster. I'm not a monster I'm not a monsterI'm nota monsterI'mnotamonsterI'mnotamonsterI'mnotamonsterI'mnotamonster

I'm. Not. A. Monster.

"Good kids don't ignore their senpais."

I'm not a kid.

"What?" Akihito slowly raised his eyes. He didn't know what they held but Hiroomi looked scared. Why was he scared?

"I'm not a kid." Relief flooded across the raven-haired male's face.

"Of course you're not a ki-"

He doesn't understand.

"Senpai. I'm not a kid."

Hiroomi's face melted into confusion. Akihito dropped his eyes.

"I'm not a kid. So please stop treating me like one."

Don't treat me like how I was back then. When I didn't know what I am. When I didn't know what I could do.

I know now.

I know.

His hands gripped his knees tightly. He tried to keep his voice level and quiet but it felt like his body was no longer his own. What could he do?

"I…I know I get myself in trouble a lot and I know that I'm a nuisance a-and that you've always had to look after me but please."

I just want to be like you. I don't want to cause trouble. I just want to be like you.

Again, his eyes looked up, and he saw more confusion. Was he surprised? Not really. After all, who would understand? Who wouldn't be surprised?

"See me as an equal. I-I've changed and I'm not the little boy that you had to look out for because Hiroomi, I want to be someone worthy of standing next to a distinguished Spirit World Warrior. I want to be someone worthy enough to stand next to the son of the Nase family. I want to be someone worthy of standing next to you."

I'm not fragile. I can stand my own ground. You don't have to watch over me, day in, day out. I want to be your friend. Not your ward. I'm not just someone who has to be looked after. To be guarded. To be feared.

He laughed, a bitter laugh, and his voice strained. "I know I'm just a bastard child and I-I'm a monster but I want to stand where you stand because Hiroomi, I-"

I'm just a bastard child. I fit in no world. You are my last hope, Hiroomi. See me as an equal because Hiroomi, I…I what?

"Akihito." The tender voice was like a saviour, like a pillar of fire guiding the pilgrim home through the darkness of the world. It pushed away the obscurity and brought him to sanctuary. Like the light in the lighthouse that steered the ships to safety.

That's right.

If he was the light house, then Hiroomi was his light.

The fundamental substance that gave him purpose, a reason to exist and a way to make up for his mistakes.

The blond looked up and he tried to talk, but it felt like something was pressing on his chest, stopping him from saying what he wanted to say. He coughed.

"I've never, ever thought of you like that. And I will never look at you like that so don't you dare look at yourself like that." The words startled the blond.

Akihito wondered if he was toying with him, but one look into those emerald eyes told him otherwise. Hiroomi wasn't a talker. His eyes conveyed more than his words could ever send, and he trusted those eyes. Trusted the sincerity and the kindness that they reflected and he felt like crying again. Out of relief. Relief that Hiroomi wasn't throwing him away. Relief that he wasn't just something that could neither be trusted nor loved.

"I'm…so sorry…I…" Akihito tried to stop and steady himself to tell Hiroomi how much he meant to him, what he really wanted to say. He felt the warmth from the raven-haired male's hand recede and he had to stop himself from reaching out towards him, towards the heat. The light.

"You're not a monster, Akkey. You're human. Just like me. Just like Mitsuki. Just like everyone else. And believe me when I say that you are more than worthy." Hiroomi smiled half-heartedly. "I'm your senpai, remember?"

He nearly cried out of relief. Relief that he still had humanity.

He looked up, and once more, Hiroomi was off in his dream world, the ghost of a smile lingering on his lips before it disappeared altogether.

No.

No he's leaving again.

"Hiroomi? Are you okay?" Akihito reached out, his hand briefly touching the raven-haired male's. Hiroomi looked a little dazed.

""A-Ah? Uh, yeah, sorry I'm fine." He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again and he seemed focused now. "How about you? How're you feeling now?"

The blond's heart swelled slightly, and a warm feeling spread through his body, and he wasn't quite sure why. But it felt good, particularly after the haze that had tainted his mind. The feeling of this…haze felt strangely like the moments before he turned into…that. The monster. His sin.

Was he on the edge of transforming? And how did he return from the brink?

Was he more resistant now?

Questions swirled in his mind but he decided to think about it later.

Akihito blushed slightly and nodded. "Sorry." He laughed. "I'm so uncool, god. Thank you for hearing me out Hiroomi. I didn't mean to….I mean. I didn't think…And the finger…I…" He flushed a little more red.

Hiroomi was relieved. Akihito was obviously back to normal, or at least as normal as you could get after that and he wanted to keep it that way. He smirked. "You mean you didn't think you could be even more uncool than you usually are? Honestly Akkey, you're going to have to try harder if you want any megane beauties." A dull pang reverberated through his heart. He ignored it. And he ignored the finger comment.

"Oi!" The blond was about to retort when his stomach let out a loud grumble, and he flushed a deeper red.

Hiroomi laughed. "Shall we eat? The curry's getting cold."

"Yeah." Akihito scratched the back of his head and chuckled awkwardly. Throughout the rest of dinner they joked and laughed and teased each other, as if nothing had happened. Akihito was considerably more cheerful and Hiroomi's heart felt like it was going to burst from happiness; he was so relieved that he had to physically stop himself from smiling.

As they were cleaning up, Hiroomi doing the dishes and pots while Akihito dried, the blond suddenly piped up.

"Na, Hiroomi, why did you run out? And why did you avoid me after that?" It was a simple question. There was no animosity or accusation, just mere curiousity. The raven-haired male froze and he ceased rinsing for a couple of seconds, but continued on, saying nothing. For a while the only sound was the males' quiet breathing. Akihito said nothing, only stared silently, before shifting his gaze back to the plate he was holding. "I-if you don't want to tell me, it's fine. I-I mean I don't want to pressure you or anything…" He trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Hiroomi didn't know what to do. His silence wasn't of rejection, but of hesitation. Should he tell him? Should he burden him with the knowledge of his feelings? No. Of course not. He'd already made up his mind that he wouldn't. But when he tried to lie to the blond, to deflect or to reject, he couldn't do it. How could he? When those beautiful honey eyes settled on him; when those eyes that looked like cracked glass when he was sad and when those eyes that looked like the first kisses of spring in winter when he was happy, settled on him, Hiroomi could do nothing against them. So he settled for the better option. To tell the partial truth or perhaps, the partial lie.

"I…had a revelation…if you will." The raven-haired male said slowly, setting down the plates, a quiet clatter echoing inaudibly through the house. The blond looked surprised, taken aback by Hiroomi's seemingly sudden confession.

"I…see. About what?"

Silence. A soft exhale.

"About...well." Hiroomi let out a short laugh. "Things."

Akihito understood. It pained him, but he understood. He forced his face into a light-hearted one. "Did you think about Mitsuki?" He changed his face into mock horror. "Have you finally taken your siscon too far? Hiroomi, it's one thing to like your sister, but it's another to confess to her and make her your girlfriend and wife!" He feigned shock.

"Don't worry; I'll make sure to invite you to the wedding." Hiroomi laughed. "Alright, now stop slacking off! We have to finish these before Izumi-neesan and Mitsuki come back or they'll have a fit again." He said, nudging the blond. Akihito stuck his tongue out at him.

A/N: How was that? More to come and as always read, review and favourite! Thank you! Reviews make me happy. :D