A/N- Heres another little oneshot guys. Shorter than my others but i hope you like it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Especially the two guest reviewers, you guys where amazing.

~Lovelife xx

Gripped Tight and Raised From Perdition

Castiel watched as a single, stubborn tear slipped from the wide green orbs he was staring at. That one stubborn tear rat refused to be held at bay by the rim of Dean's eye. It was in that one tear that every emotion poured from Dean's souls so fierce, Castiel nearly stumbled back at the sheer devotion that radiated from Dean. That one tear, defiant in its ways. The hunter had never lost his control in Castiels presence yet here they were and Castiel watched Dean's internal struggle. He watched as the hunters defenses fell, the hunter crumbled, his voice breaking and possessing raw, pure emotion.

"Why?"

That one word cut into Castiel.

Why?

Why had Castiel left Dean? Why had he worked with Crowley? Why had he let loose the Levathans? Why had he broken Sam, broken down his wall? Why had Castiel hurt his hunter so much? Why had he hurt Dean?

Why?

He didn't know. He didn't know why he had done all of that. He didn't know how he had turned from being a warrior of God to being this pathetic excuse for an Angel, he was worse than Lucifer. Fallen, defiant, broken. Why he had turned against his hunter he will never know, but that was not the question Dean was asking.

"Why Cas, why didn't you try to get out of Purgatory? I tried Cas!"

His hunter still blamed himself, where did he go wrong? How could this righteous,Green eyed man blame himself? Why did it have to be Dean, why did his Dean suffer so much.

"It wasn't your fault Dean. It was never your fault"

It wasn't. Dean was never to blame. He was never to know what was happening to Castiel, he would never understand.

"Dean that was my penance. For everything, for what i did to Sam and Bobby. For working with Crowley. For the way i devastated Heaven, and slaughtered Earth..." He took a deep breath and focused his eyes on them Green orbs, as he had done so many other times. "...For you Dean. I deserve punishment for the pain I caused you. I deserved Purgatory."

"Why Cas? Why wouldn't you let me save you? You don't deserve to die!"

"Why do you even care so much Dean, the only time you even pray for me is when you need something. Why. Do. You. Care."

Castiel was taken by surprise as The hunter pushed him up against the wall of the dingy motel room, Deans hands fisted in the front of his Trenchcoat. His head smashed against the cold surface as paint chips fell to his shoulder.

Reaction, Instinct.

His hands came to gripped the upper arms of the taller man, subconsciously his hand fit over the scar he had left there many years before. From when he had gripped him tight and raised him from Perdition. Dean leaned close and whispered angrily into his ear.

"You're my friend Cas, my family. You've always been my friend, you mean more to me than you know. You saved me, you saved my family. Dammit Cas, I love you, I will not give up on us, on you."

Castiel, The Angel of Thursday, A warrior of God, was struck speechless. How could Dean love him? He didn't deserve love, especially not Deans.

"I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve you Dean"

Dean loosed his hands from the coat and slipped them into his hair, one hand moving to cup his cheek and his face being forced to look at Dean, Green eyes boring into his own.

Rough lips against his own.

His eyes becoming wide when he realises that Dean Winchester is kissing him. At least Deans father never was a postman.

Move your lips.

Castiel moved his lips against Deans, sensations he had never experienced flooding through his vessels body. Euphoric, more graceful than the pizzaman. Deans tongue poked at his lips and he opened his mouth, granting Dean entrance to his mouth. Why had he never done this before.

You never had occasion.

Dean was worth it, he was glad he had saved this for Dean. He wanted to give Dean all of him.

Too soon, Dean removed his mouth and was panting, Castiel entwined his hand through Dean short hair, feeling the softness against his fingertips. A small gasp of laugh that escaped Dean, brought his attention back from the silky hair.

"I've wanted to do that forever Cas."

Castiel couldn't speak.

"You deserve everything"

Breathless.

"You deserve more love than a broken man like me could give you"

Denial, why would Dean want him.

"I can't give you anything special Cas but I Love you"

No.

"Always."

Can't be real. Nothing good happens to him.

"Let me be the one to save you for once Cas"

No, no. He was a broken Angel. Why would Dean want him?

"Let me be the one to grip you tight and raise you from Perdition"