Chapter 4: Finding Out and Running Away

I know it's been nearly a month since this story updated and I am deeply sorry for that! So many exams and school activities and being sick is not helping me! OTL

So I apologize if this chapter turns to be crappy and like trash, I know I kinda rushed this chapter. *sobs*

Warnings: typo and grammar errors, OOCness, rushed chapter is rushed

Disclaimer: Knowing Durarara isn't mine makes me sicker x(

-Seven Months later-

"Tsugaru~ Behave yourself, nee? Don't stress your uncle Shinra and Auntie Celty, okay? Papa will come back later~" Izaya chirped happily, placing a kiss on the infant's forehead who is busy making sounds with his little rattle. Big blue eyes stared at him innocently as the infant whined which made Izaya giggle. He ruffled his son's hair and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't worry Izaya, we are never stressed by watching over Tsugaru. In fact, we greatly enjoy playing with him especially my beloved Celty~ Now we are spending more time with each other just like areal married couple~! Ah, sometimes I think we should build our own family as well, have namy kids, -" Shinra's dreaming is stopped by a jab on his gut by Celty, thick shadows coming out from her neck. She seems to be embarrassed.

[I'm very happy to look after him! So just continue doing your work!] Celty shoved in front of Izaya's face and Izaya chuckled.

"You guys. Thanks, really." with ruffling his son's hair, he got out of the couple's apartment, heading out to his workplace. He is really very thankful to get back to his work from almost a year he had a so-called 'vacation' . but only he, Shinra and Celty knew the real reason of his long absence.

One year and three months. He is gone for one year and three months. Many events happened within the span of those months. The pregnancy and the post-pregnancy moments which he had miraculously survived by himself without help from a certain protozoan. And he is grateful for that bastard of a father who didn't seem to mind his absence .

The months after the pregnancy are much more difficult than the pregnancy itself. He will occasional abdominal pain from the surgery, he usually stays up late because of his son's constant crying and craving for milk which he can't give. Fortunately, Shinra and Celty's always there to assist him so that he can get a few hours of rest. But he sometimes have the same nightmare when he is pregnant haunting him. At the back of his mind, someone's telling him to ask help from Shizuo, that without the father, the child will not grow up normally unlike other children. He'll grow up with the feeling of envy and jealousy; some also says that he'll grow up as a rebel.

Maybe Shinra said was right, that he is spoiling Tsugaru but it's only from the hormones. Whose parents want to disregard his child's needs anyway? As long as he has a decent work and a reasonable salary and he can provide it, he'll give anything his baby wants and needs. In all honesty, he has never felt his parent's love and care because of his early obsession with humans that's why when given the rare chance to become a parent, he wants to experience a child's love. This time, he'll stop being selfish for once.

Entering his new workplace, (he found another apartment which he only use it as a workplace but they still stay at the one in Shinjuku), he immediately opened his computer and networks with a goal in mind to accomplish his work early and buy something for his little angel.

"Cute little Tsugaru~ you are really adorable~" Shinra cooed while carrying Tsugaru who is busy playing with building blocks in his tiny hands.

[Shinra. How about we take him for a walk?] Celty suggested him before Shinra carefully placed him on the floor to play with his other toys. He thought for a moment.

"It's a great idea!" he turned to Tsugaru who now turned silent and pouted.

"Hey little guy, what's wrong? did you hurt yourself?" Shinra asked the kid worriedly before Tsugaru whimpered and began to cry. "He-Hey!"

Celty got up from the couch and carried immediately the crying infant, cradling him while rubbing circles on his back. Tsugaru keeps from crying. "M-M-Ma!"

"Celty, he is wants his mother." Shinra asked worriedly, grabbing a bottle of milk and giving it to the baby in which his crying has ceased for a bit. "We should really take him outside. He needs some fresh air." Shinra prepared the stroller with the bag full of baby essentials.

To prevent him from crying more after finishing the bottle of milk, Celty immediately placed a pacifier on Tsugaru while placing him gently in the blue baby stroller. "Saa! let's take for a walk!"

Shizuo has never felt this satisfied before. For the past months,he had never seen the flea. and he don't care what he's up to now, thinking that it whatever scheme he had, is not affecting Ikebukuro. He took a drag of his cigarette. He can now manage to control his own temper. The number of raining vending machines and sign posts has lessen. Although gangs after gangs still pursue him, he just keep on beating the shit out of them until they give up and find someone else to piss off.

"Shizuo!"Tom called him, walking towards him as counting the paid cash they just got. "They pay up pretty fast lately huh? You don't even need to use your strength to make them pay!" Tom chuckled, stretching out his hands as he put in the pocket the cash they just got. "You can go now Shizuo. Enjoy the rest of the day!" Tom patted his back before he went to the opposite direction while waving at him. He took another drag of his cigarette and texted Celty.

[Are you free right now?]

[Uhm, sorry me and Shinra are doing something. Where are you right now?]

[Oh I see. I was going to Ikebukuro West Gate Park but it seems that you two are busy.]

[I'm really sorry Shizuo. Maybe some other time.]

[It's okay. Sorry for bothering you.]

He is about to go back to his apartment when he suddenly remembered buying groceries and other stuffs. He took a sharp turn and walked towards the convenience store on the other side of the town. He prefer to buy there because he thought their items are cheaper.

"My pleasure to work with you." Izaya shook hands with his last client for the day before the man leave him. Opening the small envelope in his desk, he smiled, satisfied as he got another large cash of money. He wonder what should he get for his baby this time. He called Shinra.

"Shinra. How's Tsugaru doing?" Izaya can hear a fountain in the background. 'Maybe they took him out'

"We are having fun right now! Haha! He's really adorable you know~ How's your work by the way?"

"I just finished my work. So where are you? Oh, West Gate Park. Okay, I'll be there in a while." he ended the call and proceeded to leave, taking the large cash with him.

"Tsugaru~ I got some ice cream for you~!" Shinra chirped happily, an ice cream in his hand, putting the cold delicacy on the baby's mouth. Tsugaru giggled in contentment as his face was covered with vanilla cream. Celty wiped the excess cream on his chubby face when Shinra's phone rang. It's Izaya.

"We are having fun right now! He's really adorable you know~ How's your work by the way?"

"Oh that's fast. We took him outside by the way and we are in Ikebukuro West Gate PArk now. Yes yes! Take care~"

[Shinra, is that Izaya?] Celty managed to type while carrying Tsugaru with her one arm.

"Yes. He'll be here in a while!" he turned to the baby. "Mommy's going to fetch little Tsugaru~" He cooed, tickling the baby gently. "Auh!"

Shinra bounced the little baby until Tsugaru put his hands in the air and let out a very cute giggle. Shinra wished he can have a child soon, too, with his beloved Celty. A few minutes later, Izaya came with a tender smile on his face, seeing his little boy very happy.

"How's my little boy huh? Are you having fun?" Izaya nuzzled his son's hair and kissing the top of his head repeatedly. Tsugaru touch Izaya's face with his chubby fingers before smiling bubbly at him. "You really are a good boy~"

At Shinra's mind, Izaya seems to be having fun and genuinely caring. How a little kid made a bastard of an informant, a very loving parent, he didn't know. But as long as Izaya is happy with his life, he's happy with him. They are friends after all. Well, maybe he can be happier when Izaya came to realize he needs a life companion.

"Shinra~ Let's eat at Russian Sushi before we go home~ My treat." Shinra nodded in delight and the three of them along with a stroller, went to their favorite restaurant.

Exiting the store with a grocery bag in one hand, Shizuo made his way to the direction of his apartment. Thinking that it would be troublesome for him to cook, he decided to pass by Russian sushi and just have a take out of his favorite tamago.

"Yo Simon." entering the place, he noticed immediately the familiar smell that only one person he knows possess. If he didn't smell it now, maybe he'll forgot the smell for it has been more than a year since he sniffed the scent. "Flea!" he growled and followed where the smell leads.

Opening one of the restaurant's private room, his anger immediately subsided by the scene before him. Shinra and Celty, and Izaya, in the middle of changing a kid's diapers (fortunately, they had already finished eating or it would be kind of gross). Shinra's mouth went agape at seeing the blonde while Celty's body tensed.

"Shinra, can you hand me the wi-" he paused, wide eyed at seeing the blonde. "Shi-Shizu-chan?"

"Shi-zu-o! No fighting! Fighting bad! Scares away customers!" Simon followed the angry blonde a few minutes ago but is now rather staring at something or someone."Oh! I-za-ya! I see you're here! Cute baby!" there's an awkward silence.

"Shizu-chan. What are you doing here?" Izaya broke the silence. Shizuo stared at him then to the baby who is now crawling towards him.

"Flea. Who is that baby? Why is he staring at me like that?" True, that Tsugaru is looking at him, his big blue eyes shining with glee. "Auh!"

"It's none of your concern. Why are you here anyway? If you are going to kill me, sorry but I now have a better life compared to the dangerous life I had because of your obsession with flying vending machines and signs. I have more important things to do than just play with you." Izaya fished a wet wipe in the bag and cleaned Tsugaru before he replaced a fresh diaper on him, putting some baby powder on him to prevent the bad smell. Shizuo glared at Izaya who seemed to not mind him at all.

One thing that got Shizuo's attention to the baby was the infant's big resemblance to him. Except from the blue eyes, you can definitely see the great similarity of the two of them. He raised his eyebrows.

"Oi flea. Why the hell do that kid looks like me?" Izaya's body stiffened. It's wrong to say 'Hey Shizu-chan! He's your son! And I'm his mother! Come on let's play house!' It will be very out of character of him

"Uhm, Shizuo." Shinra finally spoke after watching and listening to them. Thank god Shinra saved Izaya from his current problem. "Let's talk outside. We don't want another property damage."

"What are you going to tell me?" They are at a park where there are only a few people.

"Uhm.." Shinra nervously started. "You are curious about the kid's parents right?" Shizuo nodded.

"Weeellll..." Shinra looked on his side, playing with the hem of his coat.

"Hurry. Spit it out." Shizuo is losing his patience. He lit a cigarette from his pant's pocket.

"His parent is Izaya."

"So who is the mother?"

"Let me rephrase that. Izaya is the kid's mother." Shizuo choked and coughed.

"Shinra. We all know he's a male." Shizuo fixed his glasses and placed again the cigarette in his mouth.

"Yeah but I kinda did something to him." Shizuo nodded for Shinra to continue talking.

"There's this experiment we conducted about the male's ability to conceive a kid and I accidentally injected him with the serum. And so he was to bear a child." Shinra fixed his glasses and wiped his forehead which is wet with sweating from nervousness.

Shizuo could only say an 'Oh' . Knowing Shinra, he can do whatever he want when it comes to science even though violating the laws of nature. He could only gape at him with an awed expression.

"And.."

"Huh? There's more?"

"Welll, to be able to fully impregnate him, a sperm can only do it. Promise me you won't damage anything here." Shinra said with a serious expression yet he can see the slight shaking of his hands. He nodded.

"You did 'it' right so you are able to impregnate him. In short, you are the father."

Shizuo's cigarette dropped, his mouth agape. "Wha-Wha-What did you just say Shinra?" his voice is soft.

"You are Tsugaru's father. Izaya don't want to tell you anything so he kept it a secret!" Shinra explained.

"So that explains why he took a 'vacation' a year ago!" Shizuo gritted his teeth in frustration. Why hadn't his friends told him all of this? He has a right to know this right? As much as he hates Izaya very much, he's not that heartless to abandon a responsibility even though it's that bastard. He clenched his fists.

"Why hadn't you told me anything!?" he lifted Shinra by the collar of his lab coat.

"I promised Izaya I won't tell to you anything until he say it himself!" Shizuo released his grip on Shinra. The doctor rubbed his neck.

"We are not really close but It's my fault all of this happened. That's why he made me promise not to tell you anything until the right time comes. I'm sorry." Shinra lowered his head in apology.

Shizuo sighed and ruffled his hair. "I'm not like that heartless bastard. I may hate him but knowing it's my responsibility, I'll do it. I will not run away like that bastard did."

"So...you accept to be a father?"

"Yes. Knowing how crazy you are, it's not impossible for you to do such absurd things. I believe you." he pulled out his sunglasses and put it in his breast's pocket.

Shinra smiled. He didn't expect Shizuo to be so calm after telling him these things. Strange as it is, he can see a small smile on his friend's face. He remembered Shizuo telling him how he wanted someone to love him despite his strength. One who is able to tolerate his temper. But he's just too afraid because he might hurther accidentally and he don't want to happen. But now, it's starting to happen even though it's in the form of Izaya. Izaya must also learn to accept Shizuo in his life. He know that someday they'll be able to make amends with each other and become friends. Maybe more than that.

"Come on, let's go back to your wife~" he teased the blonde and he smacked him not so hard on the head. "Shut up."

"Izaya! My beloved dove Celty! We're back!" Shinra called out to them, entering the shop. There is no response. Walking in to their private room, they found nothing but just a blue stroller.

"Eh? Where are they? Hey Simon! Did you see my beloved and Izaya?" they walked to the counter and asked Simon who is currently busy with making orders.

"I-za-ya! Walked out with baby! Baby so cute!" he answered in his usual broken Japanese. "Celty-san. Got a text and get out."

"Simon thank you!" Shizuo is the one who ran out first to look for the informant. Why do that bastard love to run away? Why is he so selfish to take the responsibility only to himself? Damn that bastard! That's why he HATES him so much!

On the other side of the city

Izaya panted, running away while carrying a baby on his side. The baby looks at him, confused.

"It's okay hunny, we'll be home soon." he smiled and pat his son's head, continuing to run fast.

He had run from Russian Sushi to the station. Since Shizuo and Shinra went outside and knowing Shinra will spill it out, he ran away. Unfortunately, he purposely left the stroller because that would slow their pace. "I'll buy you a new stroller, okay?"

Finally getting into his apartment, he stopped on his tracks as Izaya saw the very person he's trying to run away to.

"What are you doing here?" Izaya snarled at the smoking blonde in front of his flat.

"Iwant to talk to you." Shizuo threw his cigarette in the trash bin beside him. He walked towards Izaya and Tsugaru. He hesitated for a moment before he grabbed Izaya's shoulder so he is looking at him now.

"Izaya." said man looked away. "What do you want? We have nothing to talk about. Our childish game is over now Shizu-chan. Now, if you please excuse us, you are blocking our way." He got out from the bigger man's grip but Shizuo just keep blocking them. Izaya sighed.

"Fine. Talk."

"Izaya, " Shizuo gulped before he continued. "I...Why didn't you tell me anything? I'm supposed to know this!" Shizuo clenched his fist, not from anger but from frustration. "Why did you do this?"

"Tell you what, Shizu-chan? About Tsugaru? Shizuo I have nothing to tell you! You took advantage of me then leave me broken after you took your fill, and now you're asking me why didn't I tell you?" Izaya wants to be angry. But he can't. Or else Tsugaru will cry. "Let me tuck Tsugaru first and we'll continue this conversation."

Shizuo leaned on the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose. What Izaya said is true. He don't remember anything that happened that night. Even he himself was shocked that they made 'that'. After that incident, he didn't see him or even look for him.

"Look Izaya, I want to take responsibility for what I've done. I may not remember exactly what happened but I am not a coward who ran away." Shizuo said calmly as he can. "Even if it's you." he said that words softly. Shizuo hung his head low.

Izaya pondered for a moment. Did Shizuo say he is a coward? Even if he haven't said a name, he 's obviously talking about him! Izaya clenched his fist and grit his teeth. He felt like showing all the feelings he had kept bottled up for years. He wanted to rip all of his mask to tell that he is also a human!

"Coward huh? I'm the one who endured all this and you say I'm a coward! Who in the first place can't control his sexual desires, huh? It's you! Drunk or not, I told you to stop before it gets further but you didn't listen! And now you say I'm running away? You are really stupid!" Izaya is angry. Frustrated. Shizuo stood there in shock. He has never seen Izaya so angry before.

"Iza-"

"I'm not finished talking! You want to know why I did this? It's because I'm scared! Yes, the great, invulnerable Orihara Izaya you know is scared! There, satisfied?" Izaya started crying now.

"Izaya." hesitantly, Shizuo went to Izaya's side and rubbed his back. It felt weird doing this to his enemy. Izaya gripped his shirt and cried harder.

"I'm scared that no one would love me. I claim to love humans and make their life miserable but that is just to mask the anxiety and loneliness I'm feeling because I know no one would love me!" he wiped his eyes before continuing. "When Tsugaru came to my life, I was so happy. Finally there's a human who will love me for who I am and I will love in return. Even if half of him came from my worst enemy." Izaya chuckled a bit. "So I didn't tell you because if you find out, I think you will take him away from me and I don't want that to happen!" he gripped tighter the shirt and tugged at it.

So Izaya is scared? Why hadn't he noticed it before? Was that the reason why he always want to be chased? To have someone he can attach to? He is so not very observant! Tsugaru is the only one who can feel Izaya accepted and loved. And now that he is planning to enter their life, he's willing to change for them and protect them. He's beginning to forget that hatred for the said man. Shizuo turned Izaya to him and lifted his tear-soaked face.

"Izaya." he whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't try to understand you. But I'm willing to change myself so that I can enter your life. I want Tsugaru to have a normal life and I know you also want it. That's why," he hugged the smaller man. "I want to become Tsugaru's father. I want to show him how it is wonderful to have both parents for him. Don't misunderstand this flea. I'm doing this for the kid's sake."

Izaya just stood there in the arms of his probably former enemy. He can't help but blush when he said those words. Them? Family? He buried his face on the blonde's neck and smiled. Maybe that will work for now. So this is the feeling of having a contact with another human. Oops, Shizu-chan's not human. But maybe he can see the brute's human form.

"of course, Shizu-chan. I hate you."

I know this chapter is crappy so please bear with me. orz

But constructive criticisms are accepted, flames and bashing are not. xp

Just a small review will encourage me and motivate me to update more :)

Oh and happy summer in Japan! XDD