Alexander woke early, just as the sun was beginning to rise. He washed and dressed, then took an apple from a plate, taking a bite of it as he stepped outside of his rooms to find Craterus and Perdiccas waiting for him. They fell in to step behind him as they made their way through the palace and down a flight of steps to the main entrance where Ptolemy, Seleucus and Leonnatus were standing, ready to go.
With so many companions he did not need so many of the guard to accompany him but Alexander missed the days when he could make his way to the stables without being seen and go out riding alone. His father's old rooms did not give him the freedom he once had, each way out had guards around the door.
He wrapped his dark blue chlamys around his shoulders and strode out towards the stables, remembering, when he was almost there, that he had invited the Spartan, Hephaistion, to join them. He could not say why he had asked, he had no reason for it.
The grooms had their horses ready and Alexander smiled to see Bucephalus bow before him and he leapt on to the stallion's back before waiting for his friends to be ready. The Royal Guard arrived, ten men to go with them, and Alexander decided he should try to find a way out where he could not be seen, if only once. There was no sign of Hephaistion and having had no word the grooms had no horse ready Perhaps Spartans slept late in their beds.
Alexander led the way out of the stables and to the nearest gate, heading for the river, watching the sun rise in the sky bathing the plains with a red glow.
There before them, putting a horse through its paces was Hephaistion. He cantered it around in a large circle, gathering the reins, using his legs to get the horse to collect itself, then turning it sharply to go the other way, asking it to rear, then buck. He stayed firmly seated, as though he were part of the animal and was a joy to watch but he brought the horse to a halt when he saw the others approach and waited silently for them to join him.
"Does he realise how handsome he is?" Perdiccas said to nobody as they approached.
"No, he doesn't," Alexander replied, turning to smile to his friend, then as they got close enought to speak he looked to Hephaistion. "I thought you were still in your bed."
"And I thought you were still in yours," came the reply.
Hephaistion reined back his horse and bowed his head as Alexander rode on, then paused before riding at the back of the group so that a little distance was maintained. He made no effort to come forward and join in the conversation, he was like a shadow to them, cantering when they did, galloping, jumping but saying nothing.
"He could be a shade," Seleucus commented, when they stopped by the river and dismounted for a while.
"It's like he is no part of this world," agreed Ptolemy.
"Sparta's problem," grumbled Leonnatus.
Alexander looked over to where Hephaistion had led his horse and now stood brooding, watching the river flow by. He dropped Bucephalus' reins, knowing the stallion would not wander and walked over to the Spartan, wondering if he could take a victory and win a smile.
"Are you thinking of home? Do you have family you miss?"
"None," Hephaistion replied, not bothering to look up. He sighed deeply.
Choosing not to go closer, Alexander stood a couple of paces away and watched the man as he had last night. It was not that Hephaistion intended to be ill-mannered, Alexander was sure that what he saw now was not who Hephaistion really was. One puzzle was why he would care about the man. Perhaps he saw something in him, a troubled mind. "I have had dark days in the past," he said.
This earned him a glance.
"Having nobody I felt I could talk to," he continued.
No more glances but Hephaistion shifted his weight as though he were uncomfortable.
"Enough companions but no-one close."
Alexander noticed Hephaistion's grip tighten on the reins he held.
"What troubles you?" he asked softly.
"A decision I made, a promise I gave," came the reply, at last.
There was a silence. Alexander sensed better than to press for Hephaistion to say more but did not want to step away. Something inside of him wanted to know this man.
"I heard it said you were a tyrant," Hephaistion said.
Alexander laughed. "I hear it all the time."
"You levelled Thebes to the ground. Killed Eurydice and her children."
"The first needed to be done, the second was not my choice."
"You sound as if you are trying to convince yourself of that." Hephaistion looked at him, judging him.
Alexander stood his ground and returned the gaze. "You should understand battle and I was away from Pella and gave no order for Eurydice to be killed. I had no part in the murder of my father's wife or of her children, I would have kept them safe."
The Spartan looked to him, judging him, blue eyes looking do deeply as if they might know every thought he ever had, every feeling. "I believe you," Hephaistion finally replied, speaking softly.
Suddenly angry that he should have come to offer support only to find himself justifying the past to a Spartan, that he would even have wanted the man's understanding when he was nothing to him, Alexander turned and walked away. Determined to speak to Diomache, call the man to the palace and tell him he had no need for Spartans.
OOXXOO
Sensing the change, knowing he was responsible for it, Hephaistion made his excuses and rode on alone.
The companions had seemed surprised by this decision, as if it was an honour to ride with the king, not something to be given up lightly.
Hephaistion returned to Pella, right away, going to the royal stables to return the horse that he had borrowed then, not wanting to go to the house, he headed for the market place. Merchants tried to entice him in to their shops to buy but he shook his head and walked on through the crowded place, noting the fine temples to Apollo and Zeus then the one for Aphrodite. He stopped before it and thought a while of the goddess before going up the steps and walking inside.
Even in the busy market, with so many people outside, the temple was a quiet place. A statue of the goddesss stood before him and he said a silent prayer to her, part of it apologising for his neglect of late. As he was apologising he saw Alexander in his mind's eye, the look on his face by the river and he realised he had seemed cruel. Whatever they said, Alexander was no tyrant. He took the dagger from his belt and held it up to catch the light, uncertain what to do. He had been trained to obey, although he had disobeyed before and could again. Stepping closer to the statue he slid the dagger behind it, there but out of sight, releasing it.
He stepped back and closed his eyes, thinking of his life in Sparta; thinking of the past; thinking of why he was in Pella. If he could not kill Alexander, then he might as well end his life right here, right now. Laterides was right, he was weak...a trembler. He reached for the dagger, taking it and placing it back in his belt, then turned and headed for the house.