A/N: Here's the next chapter. It's pretty short in comparison but not that much happens, really. I wrote most of this chapter while I was out of it and loopy on my meds, so I have no idea if it sounds okay or not :P I don't really proofread that much. Anyway, I do hope it sounds okay and I will try to have chapter three up soon. Maybe later tonight or tomorrow, I don't know. I'm going to be getting mouth surgery sometime this coming week (Monday or Thursday) and I'm gonna be unable to talk for a month so I will probably spend most of my time writing and whatnot. I already went out and bought some books, movies and games so I would have something to do during that time frame.

Anywho, I hope it sounds okay, as I said :)

Onward!

Chapter Two

Once back on the Normandy, they were all three taken to the med bay. Shepard was the worst off, as Kaidan knew he would be. His system was, as Dr. Chakwas said, fried yet again. Kaidan was checked out and allowed to leave along with Garrus fairly quickly. The next thing he knew he was being led to the war room to contact Hackett because, while Shepard was out of commission, it was his job to inform the man of anything and everything.

It didn't help that his last image of Shepard was of Dr. Chakwas carefully stripping off his armor. He'd been taken care of by Liara instead, who was helping Dr. Chakwas. She gave him something for his head and sent him on his way, saying he was 'lucky' because he wasn't hurt more.

Yeah. Lucky.

Lucky because he got to see that look.

Lucky because he failed.

Lucky because they all could have died.

He wasn't aware he was in the war room until Hackett was looking back at him, virtually speaking as the man wasn't actually there. Kaidan swallowed, trying to find the words.

"How was the mission?" Hackett asked. "I heard it was bad."

Understatement of the goddamn year.

"We were misinformed, sir," he said as professionally as possible, but it was a little hard to care about diplomacy and the military when he kept seeing that look in his head. "Cerberus was waiting for us. We barely escaped. No, we didn't recover the artifact. We didn't even make it into the building."

"I see," Hackett said slowly, and Kaidan was familiar enough with the sound of disappointment that he recognized it when he heard it. Anger flared within him.

"Look, we would have been able to get it if we'd gotten all the facts, sir. The Alliance dropped the ball."

And he never thought he would be bad mouthing the Alliance! He once told Shepard he was loyal to it, always had been and always would be because he was a soldier. Right now, though, he couldn't care less about the military because they kept sending them into situations where they didn't have all the facts.

Check out a monastery? Oh, right. There are Ardat-Yakshi there, hope that's okay.

Take out a Reaper base? Oh, right. It's an actual Reaper, have fun.

Check out the outpost on Mars? Right… we forgot to mention the fact there's maybe ancient Prothean information there that could help us and Cerberus might know about it as well… hope that's not a problem.

Fuck that.

"I understand you are angry, Major," Hackett said calmly, "but we didn't know Cerberus was waiting."

"What's this artifact?" Kaidan asked.

"We believe it might be a clue as to what Cerberus is working on, what they're up to."

"And you really didn't think Cerberus was there?" Kaidan echoed, shaking his head. "Whatever. I'm tired of being left out of the loop. Just… You didn't see his face."

That last bit came out of nowhere, surprising Kaidan as well as Hackett.

"Whose face?" Hackett asked.

Kaidan swallowed and looked at the ground. "Shepard's. It was…"

Wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.

Defeated.

Apologetic.

"He's going to need time to recover," Kaidan said.

"Do we know how long?"

Kaidan narrowed his eyes. "I don't know, as long as it takes, sir. He needs a break. First his cybernetics were causing problems, and now-"

"Cybernetics?" Hackett cut in with a frown. "I heard nothing about that."

Why am I not surprised. It would be too easy for Shepard to tell you.

"His body was trying to reject his cybernetics, sir," he explained slowly. "Dr. Chakwas told him to keep the biotics offline for a bit, until he recovered, but then that thing with Leviathan happened and he didn't listen. He was in med bay for a while and was released only after she told him not to use his biotics unless absolutely necessary, until everything went back to normal."

"It's been two weeks," Hackett said.

"It has. But things take time and during those two weeks he hasn't gotten to relax at all. We're doing all these missions, sir, and… while I understand their necessity, I know they are taking a toll on the commander. And…" He took in a breath, released it slowly. "And now he's been shot, and… we had to use our biotics for a sustained amount of time."

"I see," Hackett said.

"Look, I know Shepard's useful to you," Kaidan said quietly, "but he needs a break. We all do, actually. We've been going nonstop since this started, and… Sir, I think a break would be good for Shepard. And the crew."

"A break?"

"Shore leave, sir."

"Shepard doesn't really like shore leave, Major."

Kaidan took in a breath. "He won't have a choice if you force him."

"Force him to take shore leave?"

"I don't like it either, but if that's what it takes to get him to rest… You need him at his best, right? If so, are you really willing to risk it?"

Just listen to me, please.

He knew that if they didn't have a break… they would all burn out, Shepard especially. He'd already admitted once to Kaidan that he was tired, tired of this fight. All he kept thinking about now was that relief on Shepard's face when he had that look, and it left him wanting to scream.

Don't give up.

"I'll think it over, Major," Hackett said.

Kaidan sighed, knowing that was the best he was going to get. "Thank you, sir. I'd like to check on Shepard now, if that's okay."

"Of course," Hackett said with a nod. "Keep me posted. Hackett out."

The image flickered and died away and Kaidan fought the urge to collapse, scrubbing a hand over his face. Exhaustion weighed heavy in his muscles and it was surprisingly hard to walk out of the room, but he couldn't rest yet.

He had to check on Shepard.

Med bay was quiet, like it always was. The silence was as alarming as it was comforting. Kaidan entered to find Dr. Chakwas near the front of the room, sitting at her computer.

"How is he?" he asked, standing next to her desk.

"He lost a decent amount of blood," she said truthfully, that knot reforming in Kaidan's stomach, "and he overdid it with the biotics. He needs strict bed rest."

"He'll never go for that," Kaidan muttered, because he knew Shepard.

Knew he wouldn't just sit around while there was a war happening around them.

Dr. Chakwas sighed. "I'm going to be honest with you."

Why does that not sound good…

He nodded as she looked at him.

"When I say he overdid it, I mean he overdid it. His system is fried. The wound made it worse, and he pushed himself past his limits and then some. Do you understand?"

"I… I think so."

It's bad.

Goddamn idiot. Never listened. Never…

"I recommend strict bed rest, but if nothing else, no more biotics for a while. His cybernetics are fragile right now – anything could set them off. His entire system is weak from doing too much."

"He won't rest," Kaidan said somewhat desperately, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do. He couldn't make him rest – Shepard would just tire himself arguing with him, maybe even physically throwing him out of the room so Kaidan couldn't insist he 'rested', which would do more harm than good. "What do I do?"

"I've explained it to him, but he was rather groggy at the time. If he does not take my words seriously, the repercussions could be detrimental."

Kaidan nodded, feeling more trapped by the minute. "I asked Hackett for shore leave."

"That would help," Dr. Chakwas agreed with a nod. "If he takes it, of course. The commander doesn't like sitting idly by."

He won't have a choice.

"He is back there," Dr. Chakwas said, gesturing toward the back room. "He's asleep right now, but you can sit with him if you want."

Kaidan wanted to. Wanted to go to him, make sure he was okay, but right now he needed to talk to Hackett again.

"I will later," he said as he turned and left the med bay.

The elevator ride up to deck two gave him a brief moment to think. All his thoughts focused on that look, though, on the doctor's words. Despite the fact he'd already brought the matter up with Hackett, he needed to get the man to agree. If Hackett didn't do this…

I could lose…

He shut that thought down before it even really formed and stepped out of the elevator.

He walked through the security checkpoint and into the war room, where he quickly contacted Hackett. The man's virtual body appeared almost instantly.

"Major," Hackett greeted, looking somewhat worried, "is something wrong?"

"Chakwas said if Shepard doesn't take a break he could…" There he trailed off and closed his eyes, taking in a slow breath. "Sir, I'm asking you as a friend, enforce shore leave. Otherwise…"

"It's that bad?" Hackett questioned.

"Dr. Chakwas thinks so."

And I believe her.

"I see… Well, Major, I will see what I can do, but as you know, I can't make any promises."

Kaidan nodded sharply. "I know. Just…"

"I will see," Hackett said again. "Hackett out."

The image disappeared.

Kaidan leaned against the wall, slowly sliding toward the ground, his back against it as the exhaustion, the defeat, finally set in.

Almost like a kid, he pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, resting his shin atop his kneecaps as he blankly stared across the room, remember the days' events.

Everything that could have went wrong did go wrong.

Murphy's law. What can go wrong, will.

He took in a breath.

Stupid, reckless asshole…

"Is he crazy?" Shepard muttered, mostly to himself as the two sat in the bed they shared in Shepard's cabin. He'd been released from med bay earlier that day but only after promising he'd stay in his cabin for the rest of the day and rest. Kaidan was there to make sure he did so.

At first Shepard tried to go to the war room, get an update from Hackett, but Kaidan carefully grabbed his shoulders and steered him toward the elevator and up to the cabin. From there he forced him to sit on the bed, preferably lay down, and Shepard acquiesced only after demanding his laptop so he could at least check his messages.

Kaidan agreed and here they were, sitting in bed together, a data pad in Kaidan's hands while Shepard had his laptop.

"Is who crazy?" Kaidan asked, glancing at the commander to find his face contorted into an expression of confused irritation.

"Forced shore leave, really?" he muttered, and Kaidan stilled, stopping what he was doing on his data pad, carefully putting it down on the small table on his side of the bed, which was the bed's right side while Shepard always stayed on the left.

"Hackett?" Kaidan asked, wondering if the man really did do as he asked and send Shepard something demanding that he take shore leave for a while.

"Yeah. He's enforcing shore leave on me!" Shepard sounded absolutely appalled by the idea. "Like I can rest while there's a goddamn war going on." He shook his head and moved to reply to Hackett. Kaidan took action then, reaching over to capture the fingers of one of Shepard's hands, leaving him unable to type out a response. Blue eyes snapped toward him inquisitively.

"Maybe this is a good thing," he said.

"How could it possibly be good?" Shepard asked, staring at him in confusion. "He's basically putting me in time out! Like it's my fault that mission fell to hell."

Kaidan knew the vanguard blamed himself, though. He wouldn't be Shepard if he didn't.

"Maybe he just thinks you… we need a break. Everyone's been working nonstop since this whole mess started."

Hesitation flickered briefly across Shepard's face. "We don't have time for-"

"It would do the crew some good to get away for a bit, be normal people," Kaidan said quietly, and while he knew it was a low blow, it did have the desired outcome.

This time when Shepard's shoulders drooped he knew he won the argument. Shepard could argue all he wanted but he'd never do anything to undermine his crew. If this was what the crew needed, he would do it whether he wanted to or not. It was what made him an excellent commander and perfect for leading the war efforts, but it also made him a little easy to manipulate.

Kaidan didn't like manipulating him, but if it got him to take some time and rest…

If it meant he didn't have to see that look again, he was perfectly fine with it.

"Joker's gonna hate this," Shepard told him.

"He'll get over it," Kaidan replied, giving those fingers a squeeze, still caught in his grasp. Shepard sighed and closed the laptop, putting it on the small table on his side of the bed. Then he turned and faced Kaidan, smiling at him.

"I guess if they're going to force shore leave on us, we might as well make the most of it, huh?"

Kaidan nodded and smiled back. A second later Shepard was next to him, their bodies lightly brushing against each other, and soft, warm lips connected with his own.

A/N: And there's that :) I hope it sounds okay! Thanks for reading and please review!

~Muffy the Dough Slayer~