This chapter should have been published way earlier… sorry it took so long.

Eddie heard herself scream as Jamie left her, and then – was it her heart or was it really a shot?

Ed collapsed to the ground, leaving Jamie to almost stumble upon him. Blood stained the young officer's shirt, but even in her state of shock Eddie realized that it wasn't his own.
He was alive. He was safe, and alive, and Ed was dead.

"Taylor? Taylor, drop the gun. It's okay. Everything's alright."
Cop instinct won over shock as the world blended in again and Eddie saw Jamie's rookie standing in front of them, wide-eyed, gun raised but aimed to nowhere.

"It's okay, Harvard. He didn't shoot."
The new voice made Eddie tense but only for a second, as Jamie's face lit up with relief. "Sarge!"
Renzulli stepped closer, followed by another three officers. "Your rookie called for backup after you ran alone into that alley." The reproach in his words was clearly audible, but the relief on his face was at least as apparent as on Jamie's. "Seems we came here just in time."
"You did." Jamie smiled at his former TO, then turned back to his rookie. Taylor had his gun safely stowed again and seemed to have regained his composure. "Taylor, that was great. You kept your nerves, and you saved our lives. Well done, officer."
The rookie beamed. "Thank you, sir."

Eddie was kneeling next to Ed Rickers, pretending to examine the corpse while actually hearing and seeing nothing.
I love you. Her cheeks felt hot and the butterflies had left her stomach and whirled around her whole body. If it wasn't for the cold stone beneath her, she wouldn't have been sure if she wasn't flying through the air.
I love you.
Jamie Reagan loved her, even though she had been horrible to him, even though she had almost got raped only minutes ago… the memory, washed away by the danger for a moment, returned, and the butterflies burnt to ashes. Suddenly Eddie felt her body again, every bruise, every inch Ed had laid on.
It had been so close. So close to lose everything she was.

"Eddie?"
She jerked at the closeness of the voice, only to realize it was Jamie kneeling next to her. She swallowed. "He's, uhm… he's dead."
"Well, I hope he is, I shot him" Renzulli quipped, and Eddie closed her eyes in shame. Where was she? Even a rookie was more focused and controlled now.

"Eddie, are you okay?"
Then again, two months ago she had been a rookie herself… and she had been strong only with Jamie. For Jamie, actually. And now…

"Hey! Hey, Edit, everything's okay. Do you understand?"
It was a reflex to answer to her full name but even so it cost Eddie another second to focus on Jamie's face, being very close to hers.
She forced herself to swallow down the tears coming out of nowhere and nodded. "Yes, I am. I do." Her voice sounded stronger than she felt, but she could see Jamie wasn't buying it, so she quickly added, "it's just been a bit… much." She nodded towards the corpse again – Ed Rickers, partner, asshole, dead man. Dead cop.
"Renzulli's gonna be in trouble" she murmured, just to say anything intelligent.
Jamie frowned but followed. "No, he won't. There's more than enough witnesses to what happened, and that he only saved us." Hatred twisted his face. "If that… if he had hurt you, I don't know… I'd have killed him myself." He took a deep breath. "Eddie, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."

The tears were dangerously close to winding out of her eyes. Clearing her throat, Eddie shook her head. "You were."
"I let you think I forgot about you. While actually…" Jamie moved closer, "you were all I was thinking of, Eddie. For most of the time since Christmas. I missed riding with you so badly that for a moment I thought about quitting the job." He looked down embarrassedly, and automatically Eddie reached for his hand to comfort him. "Jamie, you're the last one to be ashamed of anything."
He laughed softly. "You always see too much in me, do you know that? That's why I felt I wasn't… I wasn't good enough for you, Eddie. Not yet. I'd lost my purpose for being a cop somewhere down the road, and I… I wanted to get that back before I asked you out. And now…" he broke off and smiled, still embarrassed. "Say something, officer Janko."

And suddenly the tears were gone, dried up in the flame that filled her. Eddie realized that two minutes ago, with death so close to her, she hadn't loved Jamie the most. It was right here, right now, and for the first time it was strong enough to burn her fear away.
"I don't care" she said firmly, holding on tightly to Jamie's hand. "I don't care why you're a cop, Jamie Reagan. You are, and you're risking your life every day to save other peoples' lives, and you are ready to be there for anyone needing help. I don't need your reasons to admire that, and I don't need them to admire you."

Admire, he mouthed silently and looked down again. "Alright. Then we…"
"And I don't care if you quit the job and be a lawyer or a cook or a musical singer because I love you" Eddie continued firmly, squeezing Jamie's hand so tightly that it hurt. "I love you, Jamie."

For a moment, Jamie seemed frozen, and Eddie's heart stopped. Had she misinterpreted something? But what was there to misinterpret with "I love you"?

"I love you, Eddie" Jamie repeated her thoughts, and then he moved closer again. He paused only for a heartbeat, silently asking permission before his lips found hers.
As they broke the kiss, Eddie started to cry.
Not now! She bit her tongue to make it stop but it wouldn't, and she hastily tried to break away. "Sorry."
"It's okay." Jamie's voice was gentle as he pulled her close, her head resting on his shoulder, her face buried in the curve of his neck. "It's okay, Eddie, I'm here. I'm here."
He held her in his arms till Ed was brought away, kissing her and murmuring reassuring words into her hair. Eventually Eddie had no tears left to cry.
"I'm so…" she corrected herself. "Thank you, Jamie."
He smiled. "That's what I'm here for. That's what I've wanted to do ever since you stepped into my car."