A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews :) I appreciate it! This chapter is kind of slow-ish and goes back and forth between POVs, hope that's okay :)

Onward!

Chapter Eleven

Keep going.

The voice in his head wasn't his own, but that of Kaidan. Shepard pushed himself onward despite the fact each step was a jolt of agony shooting through him. Once again he tried his omni-tool but was out of medi-gel. He realized, on some level, he must have used it earlier because otherwise he very seriously doubted he would be alive at the moment.

Keep going.

He had to keep going. Just because it hurt was no reason to stop, because he told Kaidan he'd come back. For once he had a reason to fight that was not centered around the fact that he was in the middle of a war. This reason was simple and yet so complex it took his breath away.

There was light at the end of the tunnel, literally speaking. He wasn't sure where he was but he was safe, somehow. Safe because despite all the pain he didn't find himself exactly on guard. And the pain was beginning to lessen and while he knew on some basic level that it wasn't good to lose that feeling of pain, he also couldn't help but feel relieved because he could breathe again.

Keep going.

Kaidan would be mad at him if he stopped now.

Keep going.

His leg refused to lift and he made the mistake of looking down the length of his body to investigate what was stopping him from continuing forward. The light around him now made the blood all too visible, made the jagged bone sticking out of his him that much more noticeable and all he could do was stare with this odd sense of detachment.

Oh well. Keep going.

He told Kaidan he'd come back.

Keep going.

He couldn't let Kaidan down.

Keep going.

But it was getting so hard…

Now that he'd seen the wounds, the pain reignited anew through him, his veins the gasoline igniting the agony. He wasn't aware he'd collapsed to his knees until he was coughing, one arm wrapped firmly around his middle but he refused to look down, refused to look at the damage because that only made it worse.

Keep going. C'mon – get up.

But he was so tired…

He'd walked so far already. Tried so hard. Now, as he leaned against a wall, his eyelids grew heavy and it was getting harder and harder to open them each time he blinked.

Get up.

I can't… I'm tired.

We're all tired. Get up.

Tired…

Get up, Shepard.

Can't I just…

Get up. Keep going.

Kaidan's voice in his head was very persistent about this, and so Shepard took in a slow breath and, using the wall as leverage, managed to make it back to his feet despite the burst of pain.

Perhaps the pain was good, though, because it ignited his senses, waking him in a way nothing else could at the moment.

Shakily, he lifted his omni-tool, trying once again to get through to anyone.

"This is… Shepard," he breathed, fighting back a cough. "Can anyone… hear me?"

There was no response and he looked up.

He was still too far down, too far away, to communicate with the others on a short range basis, then. He'd have to keep going, keep climbing. He wasn't entirely sure where he was but he was alive, and that was something.

It's a start.

He took in a breath and tried to shove all thoughts of pain to the back of his mind.

I can do this.

Keep going.

Hand suddenly grasped his shoulders. The slight contact was enough to leave him tumbling over his feet, crashing back to his knees. Gasping for breath he looked up at the worried face of some human he didn't know.

"Jesus, sir, are you okay? Wait… you're Commander Shepard!"

So loud.

"Kaidan," Shepard breathed, feeling his lungs clench with the effort.

"I'll contact the Normandy-" The man raised his omni-tool and Shepard watched as his hand lifted and stopped the man.

"Kaidan," he said again. "Get… Kaidan."

Only Kaidan…

He had this odd feeling like, at the moment, Kaidan was the only one he could trust. There was a fuzzy memory of someone looking like him, attacking him, throwing him out the window where he struggled to hold on, break his fall in some way which would not be fatal…

"Only Kaidan…"

Kaidan wasn't sure what his plan of attack was but honestly he wasn't thinking that far ahead. All he cared about at the moment was revenge. Not-Shepard killed him, killed Ryan, and he was going to wipe that familiar face off that wannabe because he was nothing like Shepard.

I'm sorry, Ry… so damn sorry.

He'd fight harder, if he could go back and change things. Fight harder to stay awake, do something to get the attacker, not-Shepard, away from his commander, his boyfriend…

But it was too late, now. Too late to do anything, too late to change anything and he was out of second chances. He'd failed one too many times and now all he could do was take out the bastard who did this.

His omni-tool beeped, signaling an incoming message. He wanted to ignore it because this was far more important than anything else anyone could try saying to him, but some part of him was running on auto-pilot and he opened the comm link.

"Is this Spectre Kaidan Alenko?"

The voice was male but unfamiliar.

"Who wants to know?" Kaidan all but growled, because he didn't have time for this, dammit.

"Look, sir, I just found him like this," the man all but babbled. "He told me to only contact you and no one else but he looks like hell. I used medi-gel but I don't know-"

"What are you talking about?" Kaidan snapped.

Get to the goddamn point.

"Commander Shepard," the guy said quickly, and Kaidan's whole body froze, inside and out. "I found him down here and he's… he doesn't look very good, sir."

"Shepard?" Kaidan asked, confusion filling his mind.

The not-Shepard, probably. Playing more tricks.

Yeah. That had to be it. There was no way Shepard…

But… what if…

He took in a breath and scrubbed a hand over his face. "What were his exact words?"

"He just kept saying 'Kaidan'," the guy said.

Shepard.

Jesus Christ, it was…

No… that fall…

But…

How else could this guy have gotten the signal for Kaidan's omni-tool, specifically? Only members of the crew had it. Not-Shepard could have it, technically… but Kaidan couldn't see him paying that much attention because he won, dammit. He won…

Except…

"I'm on my way," Kaidan said, swallowing thickly.

If this is a trick…

His eyes narrowed.

I'll kill him.

It was incredibly hard to stay awake, but he did so anyway, carefully fingering the bandages around his middle. The man who found him, a human named Tom, had given him a decent amount of medi-gel and Shepard would have to remember to thank him, but while that helped heal broken bonds, he'd still lost a lot of blood and everything was so sore…

Oh well, though. He could handle 'sore'. He was Commander Shepard, after all – he was fairly used to having injuries and fighting for his life. What he wasn't used to was the fact that his look alike was the one to do this to him.

He could still remember the sharp sting of the omni-blade as it rammed into his side. He'd managed to twist at the last second, minimizing the damage but the pain was still a shock to his system, momentarily disorienting him, but it was long enough that his look alike got the upper hand. By the time he knew what was happening, gravity as sharply tugging him down to his death.

Except he didn't die.

He was still trying to get used to that.

I'm alive.

He took in a breath and released it slowly, looking over at the bloody remains of his shirt which Tom had carefully ripped off in order to better see his injuries. Tom had basic medical training because he was in the Alliance and that was standard procedure for all soldiers, and had a hefty dose of medi-gel on hand which had instantly eased the hot rush of pain flooding his system.

Currently they were down in the lower Wards, in Tom's little apartment, if one could call it that. It basically consisted of two rooms and a bathroom, but maybe that was all that was needed.

According to Tom, he'd gotten a hold of Kaidan, who was currently on his way. Shepard couldn't wait to see him, see for himself the sentinel was okay, and try to figure out what the hell was going on.

Surely Kaidan knew more than he did, after all. Shepard wasn't even sure how long it'd been since the attack in the bedroom. A day, maybe? Yeah, that was what it seemed like. A day. A day of being 'out of the picture', so to speak. Of not knowing what was happening, being out of the loop. He hoped Kaidan had some answers.

Either way he wanted to see him, answers or not.

Kaidan reached the apartment in the lower Wards easily enough, and didn't tell anyone where he was going. If this was actually Shepard… his Shepard, he didn't want the look alike to accidentally find out and do something about it. If it was the look alike, playing some kind of sick, twisted joke on him…

He was going to kill the bastard.

Taking in a breath he knocked on the door to the apartment and waited impatiently. Finally someone answered the door, a man in his mid twenties with short black hair and sharp brown eyes which instantly widened when they saw Kaidan.

"It's you," he said. "Spectre Alenko."

"Kaidan. And… is he here?"

Is Shepard here? The real one?

Mine?

Tom nodded and gestured for him to enter. Kaidan did so quietly and looked around. The place seemed small and crowded but he didn't see Shepard anywhere.

"He's back there," Tom said, gesturing through a doorway. "I did what I could for him but I really think he should see a doctor."

"He's hurt?"

Kaidan couldn't see not-Shepard harming himself simply to get to him.

Then maybe it's…

"I honestly don't know how he was even moving when I found him," Tom admitted. "I used all the medi-gel I had and bandaged the rest, but I still think he should see a doctor. He was adamant that I only contact you, though."

Kaidan nodded slowly, letting everything sink in, before he quietly sidestepped the guy and headed in the direction he'd indicated.

He pushed through the doorway and froze when tired blue eyes landed on him and a tired, relieved smile spread across that pale face.

"Kaidan," came the quiet, exhausted voice.

It's him.

There was no faking the emotion in those eyes, in that voice, and it was what had been mysteriously absent when not-Shepard had been talking to him and looking at him. It was everything Kaidan thought he'd never see again, and he moved forward in one quick movement, throwing his arms around the firm, alive body in front of him.

"Ryan," he breathed, burying his face in the crook of that neck, the warmth of his skin sliding around him. "Ryan. It's you. It's you."

Shepard's laugh was a warm rumble beneath him. "It's me," he said quietly. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Me?" Kaidan pulled back, swallowing thickly. "Shepard, I thought you were dead."

He'd actually thought Shepard was dead. He gave up on him…

He sat on the edge of the bed next to Shepard, who watched him quietly, arms wrapped around his middle. Kaidan looked over him then, taking in the harsh bruises and the bandaging encircling his middle, lightly stained with blood.

His fingers ghosted over the bandages. "How bad?"

"I'm alive," Shepard said. "That's all that matters."

Kaidan nodded and released a shaky breath. "Jesus, Shepard. I thought you were…"

"I know. I'm sorry. But I did say I'd come back, right?"

The smile was weak and fragile and Kaidan couldn't help but give into a faint laugh. "You did," he said. "And thank you for… keeping your word."

"Well, I figured you'd be pretty mad at me if I didn't."

You have no idea.

Kaidan wrapped an arm around the commander, lightly pulling him toward him until Shepard sighed and rested his head on the sentinel's shoulder. "Never do that again, Ry."

"Wasn't my idea."

"The attacker, he… he looks like you," Kaidan said quietly, wondering if Shepard remembered. "He… He kind of has everyone convinced that he's you."

"But not you, I take it?"

"No. He broke up with me."

"What?" Shepard asked, lifting his head to look at him. "What an asshole! Yeah, we're gonna kill him."

Kaidan breathed out a shaky laugh. "Oh, are we?"

"Of course. This universe might explode if there were two of me."

Kaidan shook his head, watching those blue eyes soften.

"I honestly wasn't sure if I'd make it back to you," he admitted quietly, and Kaidan swallowed thickly.

"Well, you did."

And you have no idea how grateful I am.

He placed a gentle kiss to Shepard's forehead before he sat back, sighing. "We need a plan, Ryan."

"We do."

"But first… you should really rest. I'll call Dr. Chakwas, get her on our side."

She would know more than anyone if this was the actual Shepard, because she was always checking his injuries and cybernetics and everything. Perhaps that was why the not-Shepard had been quick to leave before she arrived, because he knew, on some level, that she would realize something was amiss.

"Alright," Shepard sighed.

"Get some sleep, Ry," Kaidan said quietly, watching him. "I'll be here."

Won't let anything happen, I swear.

He wouldn't fail again, dammit.

Never again.

Shepard's hand lightly brushed against his own. "Stay with me?"

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

A/N: And there's that, hope it sounds okay :) Thanks for reading and please review!

~Muffy the Dough Slayer~