Sorry for the long wait! RL kept me buys those days, and then I found this chapter being very reluctant to be put into words. Still – have fun!
They didn't talk much on the way home, and despite the butterflies in and the bruises on her body Eddie fell asleep. When she woke up the car had already stopped. It was almost dark around them, and very quiet, and she was in a car alone with Jamie Reagan who had said he loved her!
She bit her lips, fighting the nervous giggle in her throat. Another habit she thought she had given up long ago. "Thank you" she murmured and quickly got out, reaching her door before she realized Jamie was following her. "Do you want to come in?"
If he was surprised by the questions he didn't show it. "Only if you want me to."
Eddie swallowed. "It's just… my apartment's not quite ready for visitors."
He chuckled. "You never had faith in our Valentine's date, did you?" But the lightness of his voice didn't reach his eyes, and Eddie realized it wasn't only she going paranoid, that he felt it too… something was wrong.
Jamie sighed. "This is not as I expected it. To say the least."
"Well, if you want to back out, then…"
"I don't, Eddie!" He firmly grabbed her shoulders, pulling her just a little bit closer. Reluctantly, Eddie looked up, fully knowing that he wouldn't continue if she didn't.
Jamie's eyes were flaming with intensity, and as he cupped her face with his hands Eddie felt them slightly shivering, or was it just her own blood pulsing so violently?
"I love you" Jamie whispered, and again it was there, a shake that spoke of passion and insecurity and the same hunger that she felt. For a very short moment the panic stirred again, running hotly through her body. If she screwed up now, she would lose him forever.
His eyes never leaving her face, Jamie's hands started travelling down her chin, her neck, and rested on her shoulders, caressing the sore skin. "And whatever you need me to be, I am. God knows you've waited long enough for me to realize… I am here for you. I promise."
Screw forever.
Eddie wound out of the half-embrace only to wrap her arms around Jamie's neck and kiss him. Her lips were hard and almost aggressive against his, but something in the eagerness he pulled her close with told her it was alright. More than alright.
When Jamie's lips wandered down her throat, Eddie stopped thinking.
She bit her lips but couldn't avert giggling, and it made her whole body ache. Whoever had told her that sex in a car was a wonderful thing had been… totally right.
"A kingdom for your thoughts." Jamie rolled around to look into her eyes and promptly hit his head. Giggling even more, Eddie wove her fingers through his hair and pulled him as close as she could in the narrow space. "You can have them for less" she whispered and kissed him again. "I just wondered how we haven't been talking for two months and now couldn't even wait to get through the door to my apartment."
Jamie laughed softly, his face buried in her hair. "You said you weren't ready for visitors" he murmured close to her ear, "I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
"You're an idiot, Reagan."
"Guilty." Still laughing, Jamie moved back and reached for his clothes, giving Eddie another seconds to adore the body that had just been wrapped firmly around her, protecting her, igniting every inch of her… The memory of the past minutes was enough to make her feel like a feather again, floating in the air and still heavy with passion.
"So…" Stifling a groan, Eddie started looking for her clothes, too. Given the small space of the car it was interesting how it could all have spread so widely, and somehow having Jamie's arms around her constantly didn't make the task easier.
When the two cops finally reached Eddie's apartment, it was after nine. The familiarity of the room seemed to soak all her energy up. With or without Jamie she had to sleep now…
Ed. Fists of iron pinioning her against the wall, blood, a fat man's body weighing on hers, cold metal and hot panic rushing through her. A voice so cold it froze her inside. "That was a mistake, Reagan."
"Eddie!" Jamie was at her side before she could steady herself and helped her onto the couch. The look in his eyes was a mixture of sorrow and pure hatred. "I should have killed him long ago."
The steel in his voice frightened Eddie even more than the sudden backflash. "That would have brought you to jail. And you'd lose your job forever. Your family would not…"
"My family will never respect me" Jamie snapped, but more tired than angry now. "At least not Danny."
Eddie put an arm around his shoulders comfortingly. "He does. I know he can't show it, but he does."
Jamie shrugged. "Anyways." He leant into her for a moment, then pulled back to look into her eyes. "None of what could have happened to me would not be worth it. I can live without being a cop, but… I'm not sure I could live without you, Eddie. And I've lost enough people to know about surviving loss." His face darkened with grief, and Eddie's heart went out to him.
"I'm so sorry" she whispered, her own fear forgotten for a moment, "Jamie, I'm so sorry."
He nodded, holding onto her tightly, too shaken to speak.
"It's okay, Jamie. I'm here. We're both here, and everything's alright, okay? At least it will… I love you."
After a while Jamie calmed down. "I love you too" he whispered into her hair, "happy Valentine's Day."
"You too."