A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews :) I'm a little uncertain of this chapter, but the story is going to be wrapping up soon :) Probably by chapter 15 or so, dunno. I might go a little after everything wraps up to show the aftermath and whatnot, I dunno yet though. Let me know :)

Onward!

Chapter Thirteen

Kaidan's dying.

In the midst of all the chaos, Brooks managed to get away and Kaidan lay bleeding out on the floor, in Shepard's arms as he did all he could to stop the bleeding but it just wasn't enough. The hole, the wound, was large and jagged where Brooks twisted the blade once it was secured in his flesh and the blood just kept pouring out and he didn't have any medi-gel.

Stay with me.

Hands that were not his own covered the wound and he looked up to find Dr. Chakwas kneeling next to him. His mouth went dry, tongue sticking to the roof of it as he struggled to find the words.

"Help him," he managed to whisper.

Help him. Save him.

"Help me get him to med bay," she said. Garrus and Liara were at his side in an instant, carefully lifting the sentinel's motionless form between them, careful not to jostle him in any way. Shepard's hands remained over the wound, along with Chakwas' hands, as they began carrying him out of the war room.

Stay with me, Kaidan.

He could see the blue tinge to Kaidan's lips, hear the stutter of his breaths, feel the blood thick and heavy on his hands as he tried to keep the liquid life inside the sentinel's body, where it belonged.

He wished he had medi-gel – wished any of them had medi-gel but foolishly, they'd wasted it on him back in Tom's apartment. The others weren't equipped with it because this was the Normandy, at the Citadel, and it should have been safe. It was never safe, though.

They'd never expected Brooks to snap and do this. Sure, she was working with the… not-him, but that didn't mean she'd go crazy and do this, stab Kaidan who foolishly jumped in front of her intended target, him. That blow was meant for him and now Kaidan was dying.

Don't let him die.

If he died simply because Chakwas had used her medi-gel on Shepard… he'd never forgive himself.

Shouldn't waste it on me, dammit.

Finally they made it to med bay.

Just as Kaidan's staggered breaths suddenly cut off and an uneasy silence surrounded them.

"Kaidan!" Shepard growled, glaring down at those blue lips, that pale face which shouldn't have been so damn pale because this was all so damn wrong, and that blow was meant for him…

They put Kaidan's limp, breathless body down on one of the beds and Chakwas shooed everyone out. Garrus and Liara reluctantly left but Shepard couldn't move, refused to leave Kaidan in his time of need because the sentinel had been there for him so many times already. He couldn't abandon him now, not when he was…

Dying.

"He's not breathing," he said, like the doctor had no idea.

"I'm working on that," she promised him, searching through her equipment. "Blood is leaking into his lungs, I need to drain it."

The reached for some kind of clear tube and a large, thick needle. She also grabbed a decent amount of medi-gel which she added to her omni-tool, grabbing her equipment before she hurried toward the two of them.

Shepard wasn't sure how long it had been but Kaidan still wasn't breathing, and he knew that these minutes were precious and would determine if the sentinel would live or not.

Don't you dare die on me, you idiot. Not after being such a hypocrite.

Shepard tiredly walked out of med bay nearly an hour later, once Kaidan was stabilized using more primitive methods since they were running rather low on medi-gel. He was alive, though, and Dr. Chakwas assured him he would make a full recovery and would probably wake up in the next few hours. In the meantime she ordered him to leave the med bay because hanging around wasn't going to help either of them, and he did have other things to do at the moment.

Such as the fact his look alike was there next to the elevator, still unconscious and being held up by Liara and Garrus. Not-him had his hands bound behind his back with glowing orange ropes, worked into Liara's omni-tool which glowed down her forearm.

"What do you want us to do with him?" Garrus asked.

Shepard growled at the sight of the look alike. He was responsible for all of this, indirectly responsible for Kaidan's injuries and the fact Brooks got away. "Put him in the shuttle bay, I guess. Constant surveillance. I want to know the moment he wakes up."

"Understood," Garrus said. "How's Kaidan?"

"Alive," Shepard sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Stable, for now. We need more medi-gel."

Because for some reason everyone keeps wasting it on me.

Garrus and Liara hauled the look alike into the elevator while Shepard fought the urge to return to med bay and keep an eye on Kaidan.

He couldn't do that just yet because Brooks got away and she was somewhere out there.

He still had work to do.

Goddamn it.

Not only had Brooks escaped, but apparently his look like woke up, killed the tech watching him, and escaped as well. Now they were both out there somewhere, aware that Shepard was alive and looking for them, and he had no way of finding them at the moment. He was out there with Shepard's face and apparently his bio markings because of what he did in the archives, so he could easily pass as Shepard to passersby. No one would question him.

Shepard growled and scrubbed a hand over his face from where he sat next to Kaidan's bed in med bay. It had been three hours since the sentinel started breathing again, since Dr. Chakwas assured him Kaidan would be fine. That didn't stop Shepard's hand from grasping the sentinel's and holding onto it tightly, thumb lightly rubbing its way across his knuckles.

Maybe he would feel better about everything if Kaidan would just wake up, but somehow he very seriously doubted it. His look alike was still out there, Brooks got away, and he honestly didn't know what to do next. He was still weakened, unable to use his biotics without risking further injury, not to mention a tongue-lashing from Kaidan. His look alike was in better physical health at the moment and he knew he wouldn't win in a one-on-one fight with him, not right now.

He couldn't ask anyone else to go up against him, though.

Brooks and his look alike were dangerous.

The hand he held in his grasp lightly squeezed, causing him to look down at the pale face and tired brown eyes looking back at him.

A tired, weak smile spread across his face. "Hey, K, you're awake."

"Ryan," Kaidan murmured in response, and Shepard sighed at the familiar warmth that spread through him each time the sentinel used his name. "What… happened?"

"Brooks stabbed you," Shepard replied. "You decided to be an idiot and take the hit for me."

Those brown eyes widened marginally. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," he said, shaking his head. "You took the blade, not me. How do you feel?"

"Tired," Kaidan admitted, eyes barely parted. "Sore."

"I'll bet. You scared the hell out of me, by the way."

"Payback's a bitch."

Shepard laughed despite himself, squeezing that hand he still held firmly in his grasp. "I guess so. Brooks got away, and so did my look alike."

"Got away?" Kaidan echoed, frowning. "How…?"

"Brooks stabbed you and got away in the chaos that followed," Shepard said, shaking his head. "And my look alike… killed the tech who was supposed to be watching him, and escaped after he woke up."

"Great," Kaidan muttered.

"Tell me about it. Looks like you got stabbed for nothing."

"Not nothing," the sentinel said quietly, watching him.

Shepard swallowed. "Don't do that again. You almost died on me."

"Now you know… how I feel."

"I'm serious, Kaidan."

"So am I."

Shepard took in a slow breath and nodded. "I'll try to be more careful if you promise to never jump in front of me like that again."

"Couldn't let her get you."

"Yes, you could have. You should have."

"No. Would have… hurt you. Maybe killed…" Kaidan's eyes slid closed, a quiet breath escaping him.

Shepard shook his head, lifting that hand he still held in his grasp, lightly kissing the knuckles. Brown eyes slid open and looked at him again. "Dr. Chakwas says you're gonna be fine, K. Be back on your feet in no time."

"That's good," Kaidan breathed tiredly.

"Yeah. Get some sleep, K. I'll be here."

"Yeah?" The voice was tired, full of exhaustion, but still hesitant just the same.

"Yeah," Shepard replied quietly. "Nowhere else I'd rather be."

Kaidan woke sometime later, a dull ache echoing through him, but otherwise he had to admit he felt much better. Exhaustion still weighed heavy in his limbs but it wasn't as bad as before. His mind wasn't nearly as hazy. He looked over to find Shepard asleep next to him, slumped over in the hard plastic chair next to the bed, his hand lightly grasping Kaidan's.

Looks like our roles reversed.

Kaidan lightly squeezed Shepard's hand and eased himself into a sitting position, careful not to wake the brunette because he knew Shepard needed his sleep too. After all, he wasn't completely healed, and Brooks tried to stab him…

Kaidan would never let that happen, though. He had to jump in the way because in his already weakened state, who knew how bad that could have ended had he not done anything? If he let Brooks stab Shepard?

Hell no, he would never let that happen, not if he could stop it. He'd take the blow again if it meant keeping Shepard safe.

At least now, maybe Shepard knew how he felt when he kept taking all those risks. Maybe now he'd stop doing it so much, but Kaidan very seriously doubted it. To do so would mean he'd stop being Shepard, and Kaidan loved him as he was, faults and all.

Brooks and not-Shepard got away, Kaidan remembered. He wasn't happy about this, especially since he got stabbed in the aftermath of taking not-Shepard down, but they'd get them again. They couldn't hide for very long with the whole crew of the Normandy looking for them.

He had no doubt that they'd find them, but their shore leave had been efficiently ruined. The time they were supposed to spend resting and relaxing was now being spent hunting down potential murderers. Brooks almost killed Kaidan and not-Shepard almost killed Shepard. Thankfully neither of them had succeeded.

There was still hope, then. Perhaps he could convince Hackett to give them another two weeks of shore leave to make up for the time they'd already lost, the time they were going to spend hunting down those two. Shepard could use the rest now more than ever if those rings under his eyes were anything to go by, and Kaidan wasn't feeling too hot himself right now.

He somehow doubted Hackett would go for it, though. Even if he did, a part of him knew Shepard would refuse, even if it was enforced. He'd given it a chance and thus far it had only backfired on them in ways neither of them could have previously imagined.

Kaidan scrubbed his free hand over his face, feeling the sharp stab of his growing stubble. He really needed to shave – so did Shepard, by the looks of it. Without thinking he reached out his free hand and ran it along the commander's sleeping face, rubbing faintly against the stubble found there, feeling the warmth beneath his touch.

Shepard's eyes opened and he quickly retracted his hand, watching as those blue eyes followed the movement before looking at his face. "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hi," Shepard replied with a yawn, sitting up, giving Kaidan's hand a quick squeeze. "How do you feel?"

"Much better," Kaidan said truthfully.

Shepard nodded. "Glad to hear it."

"You?"

"I'm fine."

"I thought we agreed you don't know the meaning of the word," Kaidan said, shaking his head.

Shepard rolled his eyes. "I'm not the one who stopped breathing."

Kaidan frowned. "I stopped breathing?"

"Yes. That's not very nice, you know – you're not supposed to stop breathing when your boyfriend's holding you."

The sentinel swallowed thickly. "Sorry."

"Not your fault. Just… don't do it again."

"Any word on not-you and Brooks?" Kaidan asked, opting for a change of subject.

Shepard shook his head. "Not yet. But I'm sure they'll turn up. The whole crew is looking for them."

Kaidan nodded. "Good."

The two sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, before the med bay doors slid open to reveal Garrus.

"Good to see you're awake, Kaidan," he said with a nod, before he looked at Shepard. "We found them."

Shepard jumped to his feet. "Where?"

"An alarm sounded in the shuttle bay about ten minutes ago. It seems they've broken in."

"Broken in?" Kaidan echoed, frowning.

Garrus's gaze focused solely on Shepard. "It seems they've come for you, Commander."

Shepard's expression darkened, a veil going down over that familiar face, his hand easily slipping from Kaidan's.

"Shuttle bay, did you say?"

"Yes, Commander. But it's clearly a trap. I haven't been able to get in contact with anyone down there. All communications are offline."

That really doesn't sound good.

Shepard took in a breath and released it slowly. "Alright. Let's go give them a show, I guess."

Wait, what?

"Shepard," Kaidan hissed, reaching out to recapture that hand, stopping the commander from walking away. "Are you crazy? This is just what they want!"

"They're dangerous, Kaidan," Shepard said quietly, watching him. "I need to deal with them."

"Not like this," Kaidan snapped, glaring. "You'll be killed!"

He was already weakened, after all.

Shepard sighed and looked at Garrus. "Go tell the others to meet me in the war room. I'll be there in a few."

Garrus nodded and left the two of them alone.

Shepard finally turned back toward Kaidan, walking back toward the bed, sitting on the edge of it. "I have to go."

"No, you don't. This is suicide!" Kaidan said, shaking his head. "You're already hurt, Ryan – they'll… They're dangerous."

"I know," Shepard said quietly, allowing his free hand to lightly brush against the side of Kaidan's face. "Which is why I have to do this. I can't ask anyone else to do it."

"Shepard, this is-"

"Sorry, K," Shepard said quietly, getting to his feet, slipping away from him. Kaidan held tight to that hand, refusing to let go, let him walk away.

"I'm not letting you do this."

It's suicidal. You'll…

He'd be killed. After everything, he wasn't going to let that happen.

"I'll be okay."

"That's a lie and you know it," Kaidan snapped. "Just… send someone else. Call for back-up."

"You heard Garrus," Shepard said quietly, calmly, "communications are offline. It's just us, Kaidan. There's no back-up."

"Ryan, don't do this."

If you do, you'll…

If he did, he'd be killed because he was already hurt and couldn't use his biotics. The look alike clearly could and would have that advantage against him. Not to mention there was Brooks…

"I'll come with you."

Shepard's eyes narrowed. "No, you won't," he said, shaking his head. "You're going to stay here in this bed. I'm going to have Garrus keep an eye on you."

"I don't need to be guarded."

"I can't trust you to stay put, Kaidan."

"That's because this is crazy! You'll be killed!"

And I can't let that happen, Ry, not after everything.

Shepard silenced him then, his mouth pressing against Kaidan's. The kiss was feverish and anything but calm, Kaidan trying to use it as leverage, get a better grip on the commander so he could physically keep him here where it was safe, at least much safer than it was in the shuttle bay, where Brooks and not-Shepard were waiting for him.

He felt the sharp sting of something poking through the skin of his neck and watched, almost detachedly, as Shepard put the syringe aside, pulling away. Kaidan's vision blurred as he struggled to keep his grip tight on Shepard's hand but already he could feel his fingers uncurling.

No. No, don't do this, you idiot.

"Please," he breathed, exhaustion winning out throughout his body, dark spots flashing before his eyes. "Don't do this, Ryan. Don't…"

Don't give him what he wants. Don't do this…

Shepard's mouth was warm and firm against his but exhaustion won out before he could kiss back, could say or do anything more to keep Shepard there with him.

His body betrayed him, then, and let him slip into unconsciousness as Shepard stepped away.

A/N: And there's that chapter. Umm hope it sounds okay XD Thanks for reading and please review!

~Muffy the Dough Slayer~