A/N:
Thank you, my lovelies:
NoxBlade1254 (I was laughing as I wrote it!)
IKhandoZatman (my friend choked on her water and said she was going to sue me…)
Luna96 (3am writing sessions, oh yeah!)
Anon (BBBBB! And George yay!)
Guest (s) (yes, you guessed right my friends… feel free to write names so I can address you guys properly!)
Year 841
Tuesday evening, January 16th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Dear Mother,
I'm writing to you to apologise. I know how hard you and father worked to get me to where I once lived in Sina, and I really do appreciate your efforts with all my heart.
I miss you.
I miss father, too, although he probably never wants to see my face again.
This place is different from home. It's full of weirdos and misfits, but I blend in with them in the strangest manner. Max is here – Maxine Kauffman, from back when we used to live in Karanese.
I know you and father never liked her, but she treats me well here, and she's the person I trust most at the moment.
Well, I trust my roommate, Hanji, and my friend named Mike.
Erwin Smith, a Captain here – I trust him too.
Oh, and I trust… a man named Levi. He's teaching me how to ride horses so I can survive out on expeditions.
They need me here, mother. No doctors are affiliated with the legion, and although it might mean my demise, I want to put my skills to good use out here on the front lines. The people here are humanity's best. They are the finest group of morally spectacular humans I've ever had the privilege to meet.
The Commander is kind to me (although that might be put down to the fact that I'm at least half a foot shorter than anyone else here), and he's set many people on the task of readying me for the outside world. I hope I can repay them and show my gratitude when I'm sent beyond the walls for the first time in March.
Looking forward to reading your reply,
Your loving daughter,
Adelheid Grünberg.
Year 841
Friday evening, January 19th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Dear Mother,
I understand why you didn't reply to my last letter, and that's completely alright with me.
I know it's hard for you to accept my decision. Please know that I didn't run away solely because you arranged the marriage between Nile Dawk and I (though that was a major contributing factor). Mother, I ran away because I think I have the ability to genuinely help people who put themselves on the line to better humanity.
I know you'd scoff and say, "Heidi, people in the capitol need your help, too! What with the plague, illness, the flu in winter and most importantly, childbirth!", but mother, the needs of the people in the capitol can be seen to by the dozens of other doctors residing there.
Did you know that not one qualified doctor can be found throughout the whole Scouting Legion's history up to a few weeks ago? Do you realise how many soldiers die from amputations, not to mention everyday flus and basic issues that can be resolved so simply by a qualified physician?
You know what? I don't mind that you don't reply (I know you've seen the letter despite the fact that you sent it back - because the seal is open), but I want you to know about the men and women I've been able to help here.
Your ever loving daughter,
Adelheid Grünberg.
Year 841
Tuesday evening, January 23rd
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Dear Mother,
My birthday was quite the event. Max managed to scavenge liquor from somewhere, and although I didn't drink any it was quite hilarious to watch my comrades do so.
It was strange not being at home with you and father, one of your homemade cakes on the table in front of me (this one would have had nineteen candles!), you and father showering me with presents like the spoilt little brat I am.
I did get presents, although they weren't gifts in the traditional sense.
Max got me liquor, Hanji got me a strap in order for me to wear my spectacles while walking around, Mike and Erwin got me a bouquet of flowers, Ilse, Henning, Nanaba, Gerger, Moblit, Luke and Keji chipped in and got me a whole supply worth of pens and pencils that are enough to last me a whole year and a bit! Some soldiers I didn't know quite too well made me special foods from their district.
Levi got me a sort of pouch for my old diary that I'm exceedingly fond of. It's waterproof and resistant to all kinds of harsh weather, so I can take my book beyond the wall to document what's going on.
I think I like him, mother, in more than a platonic way. I don't know if he likes me though, he can be awfully stoic and reserved, but he's kind to me when other people aren't.
Eighteen soldiers came down with the flu last week, and the Hospital Wing was fairly crowded until yesterday afternoon when most of them had recovered.
The Commander has a mild case of pneumonia, but I'm treating it as best I can with the limited technology here. I haven't had the need to perform any surgeries or amputations, but I don't think the streak of calm will last long after winter ends.
I miss you a lot. Please consider writing back to me.
Your loving daughter,
Adelheid Grünberg.
Year 841
Friday evening, January 26th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Dear Mother,
I set a dislocated shoulder back into place a few days ago. The soldiers were sparring quite violently and one almost tore the other's arm off. Thankfully his muscles didn't tear, but they were sprained in the most painful manner. He won't be able to use his arm to its full capacity for a few weeks, but he's glad he has control over the limb at all.
The Commander's pneumonia has just about cleared up, and he's ever so grateful towards me. Levi took me out on a ride through the countryside, and though I almost fell off my horse once or twice, he insists I've come a long way (I really only think he said it to spare my feelings. Though he seems as though he has a heart of stone, I can tell he cares about his sub-ordinates a great deal).
Max shouted at me yesterday for being 'too modest' when thanked by those I'd healed, but I honestly don't know how to reply to people other than 'I'm just doing my job.' Is it bad that my motive to be a doctor is to want to help the people get better – I mean, should I have an ulterior motive?
Do you and father have an ulterior motive, mother?
I really would appreciate a reply.
Your loving daughter,
Adelheid Grünberg.
Year 841
Tuesday evening, January 30th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Dear Mother,
I sprained my ankle in training yesterday by slipping on a shard of ice. I'm stuck in my bunker with my roommate Hanji until I recover, and the weather clears up. It's storming down here mother, how's the weather back up at the capitol?
Hanji and I stay up all night discussing the mystery of the titans. Our conversations are exceedingly stimulating, and I enjoy the intellectual challenges of interacting with a scientist as eccentric as her. We're going to ask the Commander for permission to capture titans beyond the wall and conduct experiments on them in hopes to discover their ultimate source.
It's cold here, and sometimes I miss my warm house. The food here is steadily improving, but it's hard to get over the luxuries of the capitol.
Maxine insists that I'm a good cook and continuously tries to get me to brew a capitol delicacy, but I think she just wants to see me set fire to something in the kitchen.
I wish I could have a conversation with you, even if it is through mail.
I miss you and father terribly.
Your loving daughter,
Adelheid Grünberg.
Year 841
Tuesday evening, February 3rd
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Dear Mother,
I set Maxine's broken nose back into place today. She acquired it in a fist fight with none other than her brother, Adam. All of her brothers are with the Military Police at the moment. Adam came down with Thomlin Dawk when he tried to convince me to return home for the second time. Adam… he is… uh… difficult to say the least.
Though it pains me to say, the man is a misogynistic pig, and deserved every blow Max bestowed upon him. Why, he had the nerve to tell me women hadn't the brains to be doctors as I was treating him! Levi broke his jaw before he could call me any more vile things. It was strangely alluring, despite the fact it created more work for me.
The court is organising for a law to be passed stating that children can join the military from the age of eleven rather than fourteen. Three years doesn't sound like much of a difference, but the mental development of a fifteen year old in comparison to an eighteen year old is significant to a specific degree.
I fear the military is making a terrible mistake with lowering the age. It's not right, mother.
Hoping you and father are well.
Your loving daughter,
Adelheid Grünberg.
Year 841
Friday evening, February 6th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Dear Mother,
I've decided to take the military to court, acting as a doctor with concerns about the wellbeing of the next generation of soldiers. Erwin has agreed to help me in my quest to change the age back to fourteen – even possibly older if I can procure enough evidence.
Today I treated a few patients from Shinganshina seeing as the primary doctor there (our friend Dr Jeager) is touring through the inner districts on some home calls. They were poor, so I took no payment – but they did make me a gorgeous apple pie in return!
I feel as though I'm putting all my years of study to good use at long last. Not that I didn't feel significant in the capitol – but mother, you know how mild and rare it was to come across any challenging cases. Here I'm helping some ex-soldiers with rehabilitation.
One particularly idealistic soldier suggested I experiment with reattaching amputated limbs if possible – and… well, the thought's played on my mind for a while. In the case where limbs are severed and still intact, I think I might just be capable of reattaching it. I've studied nerve endings, bone fusions, muscle reconnections – almost everything needed to perform a complete reattachment.
If I can acquire blood from donors to stimulate the severed limb, I think I may just be able to perform surgery to ensure the victim has full use of their body. Do you think you'd be able to send me any significant notes or theories you have regarding amputation and the reconnection of limbs?
Your loving daughter,
Adelheid Grünberg.
Year 841
Tuesday evening, February 10th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Dear Mother,
I'm having doubts about whether I should even bother writing to you anymore. What's the point of opening my letters and reading them, just to send them back to me? Are you trying to make me feel insignificant? Because it's working.
I just want a sign from you – you don't have to write, you don't even have to communicate – just please stop sending my own letters back to me. You're getting my hopes up when I know deep down that you haven't written anything in response.
I'm feeling a little homesick, but Max is doing her best to make me forget Sina. She keeps bringing up the old times in Karanese, and she's made me realise how much I miss our old life there.
I wish we stayed there instead of moving to the capitol. You know as well as I that my childhood up to the age of eleven was turbulent at best, and I doubt it could even be called such. As for when we moved to Sina – there was definitely no semblance of childhood there. If a stranger were to walk into our house they'd never guess it was home to a little girl as well as two doctors.
I'm not certain you and father did it intentionally or not – but I grew up all too fast. Only now can I be truly grateful for the way you raised me. You taught me independence and strength in all aspects of life (sans physicality), and I'm using it now more than ever.
Hoping not to see this letter return.
Your loving daughter,
Adelheid Grünberg.
Year 841
Friday evening, February 13th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Mother,
I've heard the law in inner Sina has officially changed to relatives of the king only. I hope you're immune to the movement, being a prestigious doctor and all. I'm also wishing your friends a successful relocation to the outer districts of Sina.
Don't worry for them, mother, they're all well off and the outer districts are luxuries in themselves!
Levi and Erwin made Max scrub the dungeon clean because she vandalized the Mess Hall in red paint to symbolise a woman's monthly struggle. She claimed the military was a misogynistic patriarchy, and though I don't agree with the misogynistic aspect I do believe that the patriarchy makes it more convenient for male soldiers to rank above female soldiers.
While I understand that females are typically weaker in physical countenance, I don't agree that males are automatically better at dealing with responsibility. Women are just as valuable as men in the military, especially now since the soldier count is seemingly increasing, and there's almost as many females as there are males.
Max suggested I read up on law and take the matter of female treatment within the military to the official military court, but I'm unsure my abilities extend to law.
Your loving daughter,
Adelheid
Year 841
Tuesday evening, February 17th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Mother,
I think Levi sprained his wrist on Wednesday at training. He refused to admit it, however, and so I was left to fuss about him at our lesson. He allowed me to wrap it and agreed not to participate in training until I told him he could. Sometimes I think he only agrees to humour me, but I only want the best for him.
I've been given the date to my first outing.
March 1st
Wish me luck.
Your daughter,
Adelheid
Year 841
Friday evening, February 20th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Mother,
I'm scared. The outing is less than two weeks away and I honestly don't think I'm ready.
Please reply to this, I need your advice.
Wishing you good health.
Your daughter,
Adelheid
Year 841
Tuesday evening, February 24th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Mother,
Fine, don't reply.
If I don't write again it's because I'm probably dead. Not that you'd care.
Regards,
Heidi
Year 841
Saturday evening, February 28th
Scouting Legion Headquarters (Wall Maria)
Bunker 221
Observing Erwin: Day 56
Total Erwin observations: 12
Observation number 6: Erwin smiles to himself every time he catches a whiff of Max's bathing oils
Observation number 7: If you look really close, you can see Max's lip balm on his mouth (his lips turn strangely glossy)
Observation number 8: He smells like Max more often than not – and she smells like him
Observation number 9: He takes less time in the er… bathroom… relieving himself (commonly known as taking a dump) after he sees Max
Observation number 10: The subject is much more talkative after a disappearance from him and Max
Observation number 11: If time between the disappearances lengthen, Erwin becomes somewhat short tempered and increasingly aggravated
Observation number 12: Max suffers almost all the same symptoms as he does
Heh.
Curious… very curious.
As for myself – well, I still haven't discovered the concept of mounting and I'm going on my first outing tomorrow. I could die and still not understand what that means.
DAMN YOU, MAXINE KAUFFMAN!