A/N: Hey guys, this is the final chapter :) Hurray! The story is finished! And it's been a really fun ride and thank you all so much for the support and reviews and everything! You guys are awesome :) There's still going to be at least one more story for this series called Slow Spinning Redemption. Be on the look out for that!

Quick things I forgot to address before - When Kaidan used reave on the real Shepard, I got the idea from that cutscene where Brooks chases Shepard off with her shotgun. I always wondered what would happen if she sided with the wrong Shepard by accident because she clearly didn't really care about the clone or anything.

I kept the clone alive because I felt sorry for him and he could be an interesting character if given the option, and I always hated it that you have the option to save him but then he dies anyway. He was pretty justified in his actions, after all - I'd be pretty pissed too if I woke up to find that I was a clone, made for back up parts for the original person.

Anyway there's other things I wanted to say but my head hurts and whatnot so I'm just going to wrap this up XD

Thank you for reading and reviewing and following this story and everything! It really meant a lot to me. Be on the look out for Slow Spinning Redemption!

Onward! (for the last time this story)

Chapter Eighteen

This is crazy.

Completely and utterly crazy, and yet it was their only option because Shepard was nothing if not stubborn and he refused to let them use the clone's heart. A lot of the medical lingo went over Kaidan's head – he was a field medic, after all, not a surgeon – and yet in the end it all came down to one thing: Shepard's last chance, and it could just as easily kill him as it could save him.

Dr. Chakwas wanted to do it as quickly as possible. According to her, the sooner they did it, the stronger his heart would be for the procedure. The more they waited, the weaker it and his body would be, and it would just pile on more risks and the chance of success diminished. At the moment she had the odds set at 50/50 – odds were even but not particularly in their favor.

Kaidan had just as much a chance of losing him here as he did of saving him.

Shepard asked for an hour. Dr. Chakwas said that was fine and would give her time to assemble a team including Dr. Michel, who had helped save Kaidan's life after the events on Mars.

During that hour, though, Shepard was to remain in med bay, his omni-tool gathering data on his heart, how many beats a minute, etc. Kaidan found him there a few minutes later after having finally getting away from Garrus, and Shepard told him about the operation and how it could save him or kill him.

Kaidan wasn't sure whether he should laugh or cry. There was hope, which was more than they had before, but that didn't mean everything was okay. That didn't mean this would work out, because when had things ever worked out for them?

There's gotta be a first time for everything.

He hoped that was true. He hoped this would be the miracle they were hoping for and not the final nail in the coffin of Shepard. There was always that doubt, though…

At the moment Shepard was sitting on one of the beds in med bay and Kaidan was sitting next to him. Neither of them spoke, silently holding hands as Dr. Chakwas rushed around gathering equipment and informing her newly assembled team of what they were going to be doing. They were to open Shepard up, stop his heart while still manually massaging it, keeping the blood flowing through him, while they added the necessary cybernetics to the weakened areas.

Simple, in theory.

Simple, looking at it from an observational standpoint.

The hardest thing in the world when it was happening to a loved one.

Each time he heard Shepard shift next to him, felt the commander yawn and rest his head against his shoulder, he couldn't help but wonder if this would be the last time any of this would happen. Their hour was winding down quickly, sand through a sieve, and Kaidan wished he knew what to do. He had no place in this and would be forced from the room as soon as Shepard slipped under the anesthesia. Even if he was part of Dr. Chakwas' team, he was 'too emotionally attached' to do anything.

His hands were shaking already, the only thing keeping them steady Shepard's grip on them. He liked to think he offered the vanguard a bit of warmth, his body otherwise freezing, heart unable to circulate blood through him properly at the moment. This operation was the only way to save him, but it wasn't guaranteed.

"I love you," he said quietly, unaware he'd spoken the words until Shepard slid a little closer to him, burying his face in the crook of the sentinel's neck, taking as deep a breath as he could manage.

"You too, K," Shepard replied, voice just as soft and quiet.

Kaidan took in a deep breath and nodded. "When this is over, we'll… I'll fix us a steak dinner."

Shepard's laugh was quiet and tired but genuine. "Can't wait, K."

Shepard would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. These could be his last few moments awake, aware and alive and he didn't quite know what to do with himself. He didn't know what to do or say but he knew he'd think of something five minutes from now, when it was too late. It was just the typical way of life.

Kaidan kept opening and closing his mouth, unable to find the correct words, so maybe Shepard wasn't the only one utterly lost at the moment. That was a very small bit of relief, though, because this could still be his last few moments alive. He was happy to be spending them with Kaidan – he couldn't think of anyone else he'd rather spend them with – but he would have preferred to spend them elsewhere.

In his cabin, maybe, or his new apartment which he might never get to go back to…

Anywhere but med bay. He wasn't lying when he said he didn't want to die in the hospital, and med bay was basically the Normandy's mobile hospital.

"Shepard, I…"

Shepard frowned, looking at the downcast gaze of the sentinel next to him. "I'm about to have a life or death experience, and you're gonna call me Shepard?"

Kaidan swallowed. "Sorry. Ryan. I just… I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault," Shepard said, like he'd said many times the past few days. He wasn't sure why Kaidan kept blaming himself – it wasn't like he could possibly know things would turn out this way. "I should have listened to you. My fault, not yours."

Kaidan shook his head. "I just… I don't know what I'd do without you."

Shepard swallowed, remembering when he used similar words. Kaidan's response had been to say that he would never have to find out, but he felt fairly confident that someday, Kaidan would find out.

"It'll be okay," he said instead of actually answering. He knew Kaidan wanted reassurances, but that was just something he couldn't give at the moment. Kaidan's grip on his hand tightened and he rested his head against the other man's shoulder again.

For a long moment they simply sat there like that, unable to tell where one of them began and the other ended. Finally Dr. Chakwas approached them and Shepard sighed, lifting his head even as Kaidan stiffened, grip tightening painfully on his hand. He squeezed back as much as he could, watching as she smiled apologetically at them.

"It's time, I'm afraid," she said quietly. "We are as ready as we will ever be."

Shepard nodded even as Kaidan's grip seemed to tighten further. "Give us a minute," he said, wincing, and she nodded, walking back toward her little group. He turned toward Kaidan then, watching those brown eyes latch onto his own blue ones. He brought his free hand up and lightly brushed it against the sentinel's cheek, feeling the stubble.

Kaidan's own hand came up and captured his, holding it there against his cheek.

"It'll be okay," Shepard said, and he was thankful he managed to smile despite how uneasy he felt. If he didn't think it would be okay, how could he expect Kaidan to? He needed to be strong for the sentinel, after all – strong for everyone.

Panicking wouldn't help anyone.

"You don't know that," Kaidan replied.

"You don't know it won't."

Kaidan took in a slow breath and nodded, leaning forward somewhat, resting his forehead against Shepard's in a pose which was growing increasingly familiar. Shepard found himself liking it, the closeness and intimacy it symbolized. "Just come back to me, Ry."

"Always," Shepard replied quietly, pressing a light kiss to the tip of Kaidan's nose before he stood up, pulling away from the sentinel. Kaidan's grip tightened but then slowly loosened, allowing him to step away.

Walking away from Kaidan and that downtrodden gaze was the hardest thing Shepard ever had to do.

Hours passed sort of in this odd haze. Kaidan spent most of the time pacing back and forth in front of the med bay doors, the red circle symbolizing that he did not have permission to enter. Through the windows he could see them feverishly working but could hear nothing through the glass, and due to the drawn curtains, he could only see very little. Occasionally, if they moved just right and Kaidan himself was positioned correctly, he could make out the curve of Shepard's shoulder but then someone would always move in front of his view, and he'd go back to his pacing.

He hoped no news was good news. So far no one had hurried out of med bay to tell him anything, so he hoped that meant things were going okay. Shepard was still alive or they wouldn't still be working on him.

Garrus and Tali joined Kaidan in his waiting. He appreciated not being alone, but he also couldn't help but wish they were someone else. Not that he didn't appreciate their presence, and not that he didn't enjoy spending time with them as his friends, but right now the only person he wanted to be near was the once currently being operated on.

They didn't stay very long – probably an hour in the many hours Kaidan spent waiting. They tried to lure him away from his post but he couldn't fathom walking away right then. If anything happened, he needed to be here, right here, waiting. Even if there was nothing he could do… this was where he needed to be.

Tali and Garrus both eventually left to do other things. The shuttle bay was a mess, after all, and there was a bit of political fallout which Garrus was able to help mediate since he used to work with C-Sec.

That left Kaidan alone to continue pacing back and forth.

He wasn't sure what he'd do if those doors opened and Dr. Chakwas said she was 'sorry' and there was 'nothing she could do'. He tried to open himself up to the idea because it could very possibly happen, but each time he tried to think about it his mind quickly shut that thought down because it couldn't happen.

It wouldn't be fair to anyone if this was how it ended, after all. Kaidan had to hope that whatever higher power there was out there wouldn't let this happen.

And the hours dragged on.

Kaidan woke from a sleep he never meant to have, confused and exhausted as he sat up in med bay, in one of the beds. He looked around, wondering how the hell he got there, and remembered, vaguely, someone waving their omni-tool at him, and the distinct feeling of sedatives working through his system.

No.

He climbed out of bed and rushed through med bay, searching for Shepard but to his dismay, med bay was surprisingly empty. The doors opened with a quiet hiss and he spun to find Dr. Chakwas walking toward him.

"Where is he?" Kaidan growled. "Where's Shepard?"

"Don't make me sedate you again," she said.

He took in a breath, struggling to calm his racing heart. "What happened? Did it go okay? Where is he?"

Is he even alive?

She smiled at him. "He's sleeping, just like you still should be."

"He's…"

Alive?

It worked?

"The operation was a success," she said, nodding. "We thought he would be more comfortable in his cabin. You can join him if you want, but be easy on him – he's going to be sore for a while, and no extraneous activity of any kind for at least forty-eight-hours. Understood?"

Kaidan nodded quickly and all but ran out of med bay.

The elevator ride seemed to last an eternity but finally the doors opened and he entered Shepard's cabin. It had been a while since either of them had been there, and Kaidan took a steadying breath as his gaze landed on the sleeping form in the large bed.

He didn't remember walking forward but he was suddenly sitting next to Shepard, hands reaching out to feel for a pulse himself even though he could see the rise and fall of his breaths. The steady thud-thud against his fingertips was more reassuring than any words could have been, and he breathed out a heavy sigh of relief.

Thank God. It worked. He's alive.

Something finally went right.

"Kaidan?"

The word was soft-spoken, heavy with exhaustion, and Kaidan couldn't keep the grin from spreading across his face as Shepard rolled toward him, tired blue eyes sliding open.

"Hey," he said. "It worked."

"Mm… you doubted me?"

"No. Never."

Never doubt you again, remember?

"Good," Shepard breathed, arms untangling from the covers, hands lightly grabbing Kaidan's arm, tugging him down. "Lay with me, K."

"Always."

Shepard was still tired more often than not, but he wasn't freezing all the time now, which he took as a plus. He knew the fatigue would fade eventually – his heart was just getting used to the new cybernetics. His chest still ached from where they cut him open to do the procedure, but it was healing rather nicely, according to Dr. Chakwas. It would scar, of course, but it was healing nicely.

Suppose that's all I can ask for at the moment.

Currently he was waiting for Kaidan at the apartment. The two had a dinner date tonight, and despite everything, the great Commander Shepard was nervous and excited. Dates were something he didn't have much experience with, after all, and this was Kaidan.

Kaidan, who he'd die for.

More importantly, who he'd live for.

And that made him nervous because this was something rather new to him.

He wore an N7 leather jacket and blue jeans since he knew Kaidan didn't like him always being in his Alliance uniform. He wasn't sure where they were going to go, but he knew they'd make the most of it anyway. They would probably go out – he couldn't see either of them really wanting to cook at the moment – and he'd hope he didn't fall through another fish tank.

He chuckled despite himself and looked up as Kaidan entered the apartment. The sentinel smiled as he saw him, and Shepard's own grin widened.

"Hey, Shepard," Kaidan greeted. "I'm starving."

"We're going out," Shepard said even as the sentinel walked toward him.

"We'll just end up back here anyway," Kaidan said with this sly smirk. "Am I right?"

He brushed past Shepard then, heading toward the refrigerator. Shepard turned and watched him, wondering what he was up to because he knew for a fact they most likely wouldn't do anything strenuous, as Dr. Chakwas was quick to point out. None of that for at least forty-eight-hours, which meant none of that for at least four days because Kaidan always tried to double whatever she said.

"Oh… really?" he asked, frowning somewhat. "You want me to sit there and… watch you cook?"

"No," Kaidan said with a quiet chuckle. "I want you to sit there and relax and help me unwind."

Shepard smirked and sat at the island counter, watching as Kaidan pulled out food from the refrigerator. "Is this some Canadian delicacy of some sort?"

"Uh… Yes. We have beef, bacon… and beer… The foods of my people."

Shepard laughed, reaching for the beer Kaidan put on the table. The sentinel easily slid it out of his grasp.

"Nope, you're not recovered yet."

"Kaidan! I can have a beer."

"Nope." The sentinel popped off the beer's top and took a long chug of it, leaving Shepard scowling at him. Kaidan chuckled and handed it to him. "One beer."

"We'll see," Shepard replied, grabbing the offered beer as Kaidan turned and grabbed another one from the refrigerator.

"You like to cook?" Kaidan asked.

"Not particularly," Shepard said. "I know how to, but that doesn't mean I'm the best at it. You?"

"It's actually kind of calming."

"Where'd you learn to cook?"

"Jump Zero, believe it or not."

Shepard didn't like hearing about that place. It seemed like hell.

"Young biotics who can't cook for themselves risk starving," Kaidan added, leaving Shepard scowling.

"That's ridiculous. You're burning the garlic, by the way."

Kaidan quickly remedied his mistake. "Sorry. Guess I'm a little distracted."

"By what?"

Kaidan smirked, leaving Shepard smiling. "I wonder."

Shepard chuckled and shook his head, taking another drink of his beer. Kaidan turned and put the steaks on the stove. Shepard stood from the table, then, quietly coming up next to the sentinel, draping an arm lazily over his shoulders.

Kaidan leaned into him somewhat and Shepard smiled.

"Do we have any hot sauce?"

"That depends," Kaidan replied, giving him a sly grin. "Do you want it for the steak or other reasons?"

"Other reasons, absolutely."

Kaidan rolled his eyes and shook his head, chuckling. "Then no, we don't."

"You again."

Shepard nodded, smirking at his clone as he sat down across from him in the interrogation room. "Hey – how's C-Sec treating you?"

"What do you care?"

"No need to get defensive," Shepard said, sighing. "I just came to make sure you're being treated right. No ulterior motives."

"Why do you care?" his clone asked, and there was no way he could fake that confusion.

"Because not everyone's like the people you've known," he said quietly, wishing he could the clone to understand. "I'm not here to use you. I'm not here to ask you for spare parts. I'm not even here to interrogate you. I just came to talk."

"Why do you want to talk to me?"

"Because I don't believe you were entirely in the wrong."

The clone blinked at him, shocked at the words in much the same way Shepard himself was. "I wasn't… wrong?"

"It's true that how you went about it was wrong. A lot of innocent people could have been killed, and you did kill a few of them. There's no excuse for that," Shepard said. "Just so we're clear on that. But, as for wanting to take over my life… I can't really blame you."

The clone watched him, clearly on unsteady ground. There was anger, as always, in his gaze but there was something else, too.

Something that looked oddly like hope, and Shepard knew his next words were the right thing to do.

"I probably would have reacted the same if our roles had been reversed. I don't agree with what you did and how you did it, but I can understand it." He took in a breath, releasing it slowly. "That's why I have a proposition for you."

"I'm listening," the clone said slowly, like Shepard was a wild animal that could turn on him at any given moment.

Definitely has trust issues.

It was understandable, though.

"The only real people you've met were Cerberus agents and Brooks. But that's now how everyone is. I'd like to show you that."

"Show me…?"

"You might be a clone, but you're still human and you have rights just like I do. I'd like to give you the chance to join me on the Normandy."

The clone's eyes widened, that touch of hope beginning to win out over the anger and isolation. "Join you?"

"Everyone deserves a chance to live," Shepard said.

"I killed people. I tried to ruin your life. Why offer me this?"

"Because I believe in second chances, and you weren't entirely wrong." He sighed. "I guess this way… you're vindicated, in a way."

Silence wrapped around them for a long moment, the clone contemplating his words, before finally his look alike sighed. "What if I refuse?"

"Then you can stay here," Shepard said, shrugging. "It's your choice. The important thing is that no one is going to make it for you."

"How would I even go about joining you?"

"It won't be easy. A lot of people are going to look at you and see your faults. They're going to judge you based on what you did, and not why you did it. I can't change that, but I can change how they'll look at you in the future. You'll be under surveillance for a while, of course, and on probation. You won't have free reign on the ship but it's better than a cell."

Nothing about the journey ahead would be easy, if the clone decided to join him. A lot of people on his crew would probably hate this, and he wouldn't risk it if he thought the clone would actually be a danger to them after all of this. But his actions were somewhat justified, and while he didn't agree with it, he understood it, knew why the clone did what he did.

Everyone deserved a chance, after all.

He might have been a clone but he was still alive – he was still a person, just like Shepard and Kaidan and everyone else on his crew. Except he woke to be used against his will, bred in the shadow of someone he didn't know but was constantly compared to, and that would drive anyone a little mad.

"It's your call," Shepard said quietly, sitting back in his chair.

Silence wrapped around them again but somehow it wasn't as uneasy or uncomfortable as before. Shepard's doubts eased away as he watched the emotions flicker across his clone's face, knew that, on some level, he was getting through to him.

"Okay," the clone finally replied, voice just as quiet as Shepard's.

"Okay?"

"I'll join you."

Shepard smiled and hoped it looked as sincere as he felt. "I'm happy to hear that."

"I still don't understand why you're doing this for me."

"You'll learn in time," Shepard promised. "It's not going to be easy, but then nothing worthwhile was ever easy. The Normandy leaves in three days – I'm sure that will be plenty of time for you to get situated somewhere. I hear the Observation Room is available."

Kaidan never used it anymore, after all. And who didn't like being able to look out that wall of windows and see the galaxy passing them by?

"I guess I should thank you."

"It's not necessary," Shepard said, shaking his head. "I did this because it's the right thing to do. First thing's first, though."

The clone frowned, uncertain. "And what's that?"

Shepard smirked. "You need a name."

A/N: And there's that, the last chapter of this story :) I hope it sounds okay! I didn't include the party because meh, I never even play that with the DLC, I keep it for later, before the final battle, it just makes more sense that way. I might incorporate it into a later story but I make no promises. As it is, I hope it sounds okay and thanks again! Thanks for reading and please review!

~Muffy the Dough Slayer~