"My mom never told me she loved me," Brooke sounding so distant as she stared out the window into the dark night. "I don't even know if she ever really did."

"Brooke…" Quinn moved behind her, brushing back her hair.

"I try to close my eyes and remember a time she did but I never could. Will, she told him all the time but never me," she confessed. "But Will always told me. Not so much when we were younger but as we grew up he would always say it," she said feeling her friend move closer behind her. "When I had Easton I thought I would always make sure he knew I loved him. I would tell him every day and make sure he never questioned it."

"He doesn't," Quinn told her, running her fingers through her best friend's hair trying to sooth her. "Easton knows you love him."

"Lucas loved me," she admitted hearing her friend frown. "He told me and when he did I didn't say it back but I felt it. I knew I loved him too. I just thought I would have a chance to say it again at some point, but when I did it was too late," her voice cracked and eyes slammed shut. "And now I don't ever get to tell him again."

"Brooke, I'm sorry," she apologized not even sure what to say to make this better for her.

"I lost him Quinn and I can't do anything. I wake up thinking about him, go to bed thinking about him and every moment that passes I think about him," her eyes well up with tears. "Easton…Easton asks about him and I don't know what to say to him anymore," her voice shatters, the thought of never being with Lucas again slowly killing her.

"Brooke, honey, Easton is young, over time he will forget about him," she reasoned thinking that was probably the only possibility right now.

"I don't want him to forget about him," she frowned, curling into her pillow. "Even if I don't get him…I just…I want Easton to have him."

"Brooke, honey…" Quinn shook her head, not thinking that would really be option. "I don't…I don't know if that will make things easier."

"I don't care about me Quinn…" her temper flared a bit as she flipped to face her friend. "All I care about is Easton…he doesn't really have anyone other than Clay and he loves Lucas…I mean…how couldn't you…" pressure built in her eyes as she again thought of the blonde. "He's perfect…"

"Luke isn't perfect Brooke…"

"Yes he is…and I had him but just like always I screwed it up," she collapsed on her bed, tears falling again. "My mother was right…I screw everything up… Screwed up her life…screwed up Will's-"

"Hey!" Quinn cut her off quickly. "You did not screw up Will's life. He loved being a big brother."

"Yeah and being my big brother got him killed," she stated with such a cold expression it hurt Quinn to think her best friend truly thought that.

"Brooke…"

"It's true Quinn…we all know it," she gave a broken shrug. "No one may say it but let's be honest. I chose to date Carter, I chose to sleep with him and when I got pregnant I chose to keep my baby, forever locking him in our lives. If I wasn't irresponsible, I could have broken up with Carter and Will wouldn't have dealt with him that night… He would have just dismissed him at the bar and not felt the need to take care of him because of me… So yes…Victoria was right on… I killed him and he isn't coming back…all because of me…" she flipped herself off the bed and walked away from her friend.

"Brooke…where you going? The weather is terrible," Quinn called as she followed her friend.

"I won't be gone long, Easton is asleep so just…just please watch him until I get back…" she didn't let her friend answer as she grabbed her purse off the table and headed to the door, shutting it and walking to her car without another word.

"Oh my god," she laughed, bringing her napkin to her mouth. "Luke…you're an idiot…"

"That's rude," he informed her as he refilled her glass of wine.

"But it's oh so true," she laughed, walking over to the kitchen and pulling open the fridge. "Do you have anything to eat? I'm starving," she called from across the apartment.

"Probably not…" he told her, looking over the new resume of hers. It honestly looking pretty perfect, a great opportunity with very nice paycheck, of course there are tons of hours, but it would all work out nicely.

"Oh…what is this chicken stuff?" she called out, popping the lid and breathing in the food. "It smells delicious…"

"What?" he wondered, standing up and walking into his chicken, seeing the girl standing there smiling at him making his heart hurt. He enjoyed spending time with her, he didn't mind one second helping her out but it didn't change for a second she just wasn't the girl he wanted before him at that moment. "Oh…" he frowned, walking over and looking at the food in her hand. "I…I don't know if it's good…" he told her, that being a meal Brooke and he made their last night together.

"It looks good, let's try it," she reached over and pulled open the microwave.

"I…" he went to object, knowing it was a stupid thought. It was just food, not like if she ate it that it would change his life. However Brooke made it, together they made it and it was a great night…he didn't like to think someone other than her would eat it, someone who wasn't his Pretty Girl to enjoy in something from a night he thought about so much.

"Luke," her dark honey eyes sparkled at him and his frowned deepened. "What's up with you? Why have you been so…broody today?"

"Don't…don't call me that," he mumbled, walking over and placing the wine in hiding, not knowing why he let them partake in it. Brooke picked it out, said it was her favorite and like the chicken that was about to be eaten someone other than her drinking it seemed wrong.

"Call you what?"

"Broody… I don't like that…" he told her, his temper flaring a bit.

"It's a word Luke, a way to describe something. How can you not like a word?" she laughed at the thought and he rolled his eyes, her never getting anything.

"Nothing Theresa…just don't…don't worry about it…" he tossed his hand up, walking into the living room and slowly picking up all the papers, him figuring it was getting late and he was over it. The knock at his apartment door making him groan as he drug his feet to the door, swearing if Nathan or Haley were coming over to drop something random off one more time he was going to freak out, he got it, they were worried about him, but he wasn't crazy…wasn't like he was going to throw himself over his balcony…he honestly just wished everyone would leave him alone. "Nate I can tell you now I don't-" he yanked open the door and his mouth ran dry, "want it…" he finished not expecting to see what he was seeing on the other side.

"Hi…" she stood before him and he tried to fight the feeling in his chest by seeing her, really not wanting to think about all the feelings he had for her. "I…I should have called but I just… I mean Easton…"

"Easton?" he freaked, the worry of something wrong. "Is he ok?"

"Yeah," her voice cracked as she told him. "I mean he...physically he is fine…he's at home sleeping…" she informed him and felt the relief wash through him. "But…" she ran her hand through her wet, knotted hair and frowned. "He misses you Luke…" he heard all the emotion in her voice and he reminded himself not to comfort her.

"Brooke…"

"And he is a baby and I can't…I can't explain to him why you aren't there anymore…" she sniffled and his eyes closed as he leaned against the door. "And I get it… you hate me…" she stated and his head snapped to look at her.

"Brooke I don't-"

"And I understand Luke, I do but please don't let that affect Easton…" she begged. "I get you not wanting to be in my life but I can't just jerk you out of his. I know I don't have a right to ask… and I know me even thinking it is just… just so selfish but can't it just be a gradual thing?" she wondered, hoping maybe with time it will all smooth over, that maybe, just maybe, he will forgive her. "How can he go from seeing you almost every day to never again? He is two…how can I tell him that you are forever gone?"

"I'm not…I'm not forever gone Brooke," he shook his head, her brows drawing close. "I just… I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me…trust in me…" he stated and her head dropped.

"Can't we just talk?" she begged, taking a step forward and his heart dropped at her closeness… her small hands gripping onto his shirt making his heart race. "Please Luke…" her hands slid up his chest and up onto his neck…his head dropping to rest against hers. "Just talk to me…" she whispered and saw him swallow hard. "Please… I miss you so much…"

"Brooke…" he sighed, his large hand reaching up to brush away her tears.

"I love you…" she whispered so quietly she wasn't even sure he heard her. "Don't…don't you even miss me a little?"

"You have no idea how much…" he cursed his honesty and breathed in deep, his large hands framing her face. "I can't….I can't go five minutes without thinking of you…of Easton…" he informed her and she let out a whimper. "But it just…it doesn't change anything Brooke."

"Why?" she whimpered, chewing on her bottom lip. "If you love me, if you miss me and still want me than what's the problem? Why can't you just forgive me?"

"Luke, you're wrong, it's still delicious," Theresa appeared behind them with a plate in her hand and Brooke's heart broke.

"Oh…" she took a step from him, suddenly completely embarrassed.

"Uh…hey Brooke," Theresa awkwardly scratched her forehead as she looked at the girl before her.

"This isn't what you think," Lucas rushed to tell her, even not knowing what he was thinking or feeling at the moment, but still knowing he didn't want Brooke to think it was something more than it was.

"I just…I needed help with my new contract…" Theresa explained, that being the truth, it not being anything more than that.

"Yeah…" Brooke adjusted the purse on her shoulder and breathed in deep. "I have to go…" She looked down, feeling her heart break as she started back down the hall.

"Shit…" he cursed, darting out the door and following her. "Brooke…" he grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him.

"Luke its fine…it's really ok," he saw her lie, hating how withdrawn she seemed.

"It's nothing," he stated, watching her swallow hard and nod, her gaze completely avoiding his.

"You don't owe me an explanation Luke…"

"I know," he said, her surprised he actually agreed. "I know I don't and I know as of now things are just completely screwed up. Yet it doesn't change that I need you to know that this," he waved his hand towards his apartment. "Is nothing…"

"Why are you telling me this?" she whispered, her heart racing as she hoped he gave her something she wanted. "Why do you want me to know that?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you…" he whispered and she let out a dry laugh.

"I am hurting Lucas," she told him, his eyes closing shut. "Not being with you is killing me, how…how don't you know that? How are you sitting around sharing laughs with her, while I sit at home stupidly thinking and hoping you might be thinking and missing me as much as I am you?"

"Don't tell me what I'm feeling Brooke, you have no idea what has been going through my head all week," his temper flared to how he was the bad guy in this, how it was somehow all turning around to make it seem as if he screwed up.

"Maybe not…" she let out a dry laugh, taking a step back and pushing the button on the elevator. "But I also know you've clearly had Theresa to cushion your fall…"

"Brooke…"

"Clay is taking Easton tomorrow to lunch… I know he would really like you there," she told him, standing in the elevator as he stood in front of her.

"It's nothing Brooke," he repeated, needing her to know that.

"Bye Luke," she gave a halfhearted wave, along with a smile as the doors closed; her falling against the wall as the elevator descended.

Wrapping her arms around herself, she shivered in the chilly air. Walking she heard the leafs crunch below her feet and heard the thunder roar around her. The rain had stopped, stopped a little while ago but the lightening still lit up the sky.

"Hey Bubba…" she traced her finger along the top of his gravestone, sitting down on her knees beside it. "Things aren't going to well right now…" she sniffled a bit, wiping her nose. "But it's not Lucas's fault," she told him quickly. "I know you have seen everything going on, so please trust me that it's not his fault. He is a good man Will, probably better than I will ever be…"

"Why do you always say stuff like that?" she heard his deep voice behind her and the chill ran up her spine.

"Because it's true…"

"Not even a little B," he frowned, shuffling his feet and easing down beside her.

"How'd you know I was here?" she questioned, tilting her head from him to wipe her tears.

"I didn't," he admitted, pulling out the flask from his pocket. "Sometimes I just need to get away," he offered it over but she shook her head. "So I come here to talk to him…"

"I don't come here as much as I probably should…" she admitted. "But I just seem to miss him so much more lately," she reached over to pull at some grass.

"Yeah…I've been thinking about him more lately," he agreed, bringing his flask to his lips, feeling as it burned his throat. "He loves you…" he said and her head lifted to face him. "Luke…he is crazy about you Brooke."

"I…I went to his apartment to talk and Theresa was there," she told him, suddenly his flask holding her interest as she took a big swig.

"He doesn't have feelings for Theresa," he told her, completely positive of that. "His heart is just hurting…"

"Least she is there to help him through the damn pain…" she growled, the thought of her even touching him making her feel sick.

"Did Luke ever tell you about his dad?"

"Not really…he hinted him not being around but never really talked about why…"

"Dan…Dan got Karen pregnant in high school…then Nathan his first year of college and for some reason he couldn't see being a parent to both. He, I don't know, thought he had to pick and he picked Nathan…Strained them too…"

"But they seem so close now…"

"They are…took awhile but they are," Clay told her and she nodded. "But Luke never felt good enough for Dan… And when Nathan got handed mostly everything, Lucas worked for it…" he turned to face her. "Even to this day he works his ass off to prove to Dan he is something, nothing he has, he hasn't worked for…"

"Clay…"

"All he has ever wanted was for the people he loved to believe in him…And at this moment what is hurting him more than not being with you and East, is knowing the girl he loved didn't…"

"I do…I do believe in him."

"You didn't trust him when he promised to take care of you; you didn't trust him enough to just ask for some help because we both know he would have."

"I just…I never wanted him to think I was with him because of what he had," she shrugged, running her hand through her hair.

"Never saw that…." he shook his head, again bringing the drink to his lips. "Just saw that he loved you…"

"And I love him," her voice cracked and she let out a sigh. "I just…I want too rewind everything because I would do so much differently…."

"Yeah," Clay dry laughed, looking over at his friend's name. "Me too…"

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