Defenceless

AN: This story started as a desperate attempt to get myself writing again. I had a scene idea pop into my head and it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it…that scene became chapter 6 of this story.

Chapter 1

Heero leaned low over his motorcycle. His strained breaths puffing faint condensation against the visor of his helmet. The sun, only a hint of blueish light on the horizon, was still a glaring beacon of his mistake. 'Lost focus for one second, and…' Heero's jaw clenched against a groan as he leaned into his left side to make a quick turn.

'Stupid!' He wanted to snarl, to lash out, but there was only himself to blame. Heero's body tensed on the matte black bike. A fresh warmth spread down his left side, seeping through his ruined shirt. 'Should never have happened!'

Switching gears, Heero pushed for more speed, zipping around a slower moving truck. He wove through the streets, darting around the early morning traffic with single-minded determination. 'Job isn't finished yet.'

Heero sucked in a sharp breath as his bike jarred over a pothole. The sudden influx of oxygen caused his chest to tighten against the urge to cough. Head still aching traitorously from the last bout, Heero fought to suppress the fit.

'What is wrong with me?' He clenched his teeth, but a few spluttering coughs escaped him. Heero cleared his throat harshly, yanking his bike in frustration around the last turn. Easing up on the gas, Heero made the blessed right-hand turn into the parking structure of his apartment building.

The rumble of the engine was deafening, even through the helmet, as Heero rode to his spot near the back emergency exit. Pushing out the kickstand, Heero settle the bike's weight against it, taking a long moment before he could straighten up on the seat. He puffed out a tired breath, reaching up to unclasp the chin strap on his helmet.

Free of the confines of the helmet, Heero drew in a breath of cold air. He coughed immediately into the silence of the structure; the sound echoing back to him from off the hard concrete. Heero clenched his teeth as he climbed off his bike, tensing his entire body when his vision swam to black at the edges.

"Shouldn't be this tired from one all-nighter…" Heero grumbled, unzipping his leather jacket. He eased the material aside, revealing his blood-soaked shirt beneath. 'Haven't lost enough blood to account for it either.' Pressing his left arm into his side, Heero took his helmet and strode towards the elevators.

An icy shiver raced down Heero's spine as he jabbed the call button. He forced himself to stand straight while he waited, glaring darkly at the closed doors. Ding! the elevator announced its arrival a second before the doors parted. Heero scanned the interior by rote before stepping inside and slammed his fist against the button for the eighth floor.

Pulling a hand down his face, Heero willed the car to climb faster. He wanted nothing more than to be inside the security of his apartment. "Haven't felt this off since…" Heero winced at the memory that sprung to mind. The elevator jerked to a halt on his floor, and Heero locked his knees to keep from falling on his face. 'Didn't self destructing this time…'

Heero stepped off the elevator and walked as normally as he could towards his door. He didn't expect to run into any of his neighbours this early in the morning. An afternoon spent doing background checks, when he'd first moved in, had quickly assured Heero that the neighbours all maintained regular nine-to-five jobs. But he remained on high alert until he reached his door.

Jamming a hand into his front pocket, Heero pulled out his keys. That annoying tickle at the back of his throat returned as he slipped the key into the lock. Heero held his breath against the urge to cough and leaned his shoulder into the door, pushing his way inside the apartment.

Early morning sunlight spilled across the living room, reminding Heero of his loss of time on the job. He glanced down at his watch. 'Twenty minutes until the meet.' Coughing hard into his right elbow, Heero pressed his back against the closed door. 'Don't think I'm making it…'

When the fit finally passed, Heero drew a tentative breath into his lungs. "Dammit!" he spat, pushing himself off the door. A fresh stickiness was spreading slowly down his side after that coughing jag.

Carefully, Heero eased out of his leather jacket, before tossing the blood stained material over the wooden chair he kept across from the door. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and withdrew the broken pieces of his cellphone. "Hn," he grunted in disgust at his own mistake, before dropping them too onto the chair.

Heero stepped into his living room. 'If Preventers haven't tried to contact me yet, they will soon.' He glanced over to where his laptop rested on a simple work desk against the far wall. 'Should get them a message.' Heero took one step towards the laptop before he was coughing again.

His head pounded in time with his heart. The roar of his rushing blood was all that Heero could hear until the fit had passed. Gasping for a normal breath, Heero pushed himself straight from where he hung onto the wall. He pulled his left arm away from his side, blood stained his forearm and elbow. "This first," he grumbled in a hoarse voice.

Gritting his teeth, Heero walked down the hall to the bathroom. He switched on the overhead lights and squinted back at his haggard reflection in the mirror. Dark eyes glared from pale, sweaty features. The line of his mouth turned down in an impressive frown before Heero stopped the glaring match with himself and opened the cupboard with the first aid kit in it.

Heero opened the kit, spreading his supplies out on the spacious counter. Switching on the faucet, Heero washed away the worst of the blood from his arm before reaching for the hem of his shirt. He sucked in a breath as he pealed the ruined material away from the wound. "Stupid, stupid!" he hissed angrily, working the shirt off his body.

Balling up the material, Heero tossed it on the floor behind him. He twisted his body towards the bright lights above the sink and glared into the mirror. A five-inch gash sliced across his side just above his jeans. Blood continued to ooze from the wound. Heero sighed in frustration and reached for the antiseptic and a gauze pad.

YYYY

Hand pressed lightly against the fresh bandage on his side, Heero stepped out of the bathroom. He continued down the hall to his bedroom. Not bothering to switch on the overhead lights, Heero stepped over to his dresser. The simple faux wood designed drawer glided silently on its track. Heero pulled a white t-shirt out and began working his arms into the sleeves.

Knock-knock

Unable to suppress a tired groan as he pulled the material over his head, Heero took a half step back towards the hall. He glanced down at his jeans as he settled the hem at his waist. Knock-knock-knock! A hand rapped a little louder against the front door. Something clearly stained the black denim, but it wasn't obviously blood.

KNOCK-KNOCK! The relatively quiet percussion on the door quickly turned into a more insistent pounding. "Duo," Heero sighed. The urgent need to keep Duo from waking the entire building quickly replaced Heero's want to finish changing.

Heero walked towards the front door, to the increasingly frantic sounding fist. "Relax," Heero growled, "or use your bloody key." He reached for the deadbolt, only to have the metal snap around between his fingers.

"Argh!" Heero snarled as the door slammed into him.

"Heero?" Duo asked, strangely sounding surprised as his head popped around the edge of the door.

"Who else?" he huffed, clearing his throat against that pesky tickle.

Duo stepped fully into the apartment and shut the door behind. "What happened to you?" he asked, lavender eyes sweeping up and down Heero's body.

"Why'd you come?" Heero asked instead. He glanced down at his watch. "The exchange was only five minutes ago."

"Yeah, and if you're not already there ten minutes before, then I know something's up!" Duo was quick to counter. He took a step towards Heero, focus intense.

Unable to fight the urge any longer, Heero coughed as he stepped over to the chair where he'd left his leather jacket. "I secured the prototype… and all the material related… to it," Heero forced out with a strained voice. He unzipped the right front pocket of his coat and pulled out a flash drive and a secured box.

"Of course you did. That was never in doubt." Duo said, braid slapping against his back with the exaggerated way he shook his head. "But, what happened to you?" he asked again, more slowly.

Heero held out the items, expecting Duo to take them immediately. But the other man just stared at Heero, clearly waiting for some form of answer to his question. Blowing out a frustrated breath to hide the urge to cough again, Heero glared at his friend.

"Don't know if you've looked in a mirror lately, but you kinda look like death warmed over." Duo told him bluntly.

"I'm fine," Heero told him with a glare. He shook his right hand before Duo, a not-so-subtle hint, to take what he came for and leave.

As always, his friend was oblivious. "Hah!" Duo scoffed. That sharp exclamation started a dull pounding in Heero's head. "No way buddy," he continued at a more acceptable decibel. "I haven't seen you look this rough since the war, so talk!"

Heero rolled his eyes in frustration. His legs trembled threateningly, and that infuriating tickle was again nagging at the back of his throat. But Duo just kept staring at him, his mouth while still smiling carried that stubborn twist Heero knew all too well.

"I've had worse," he finally growled, placing the box and flash drive on a small table he kept next to the chair.

Duo's mouth opened immediately, no doubt some smart aleck quip ready on the tip of his tongue. But, "Uh…." was all he managed.

Smirking as he turned away, Heero walked carefully over to his couch. He counted it a win, any time he could render Duo speechless. Pressing his right hand against the arm of the couch, Heero eased himself down onto the dark leather. His side ached, spreading a burn across the rest of his body that left his skin feeling weirdly tight.

"Guess I can't argue with the guy that self destructed and died once already." Duo finally said with a shrug. He walked over to where Heero sat and planted himself on the edge of the coffee table. "Just don't tell me it's 'Only a flesh wound.'" He said, leaning forward to air quote the last, usual smirk turning his lips.

Heero shrugged his right shoulder. He recognized Duo was quoting something specific, but didn't know what, nor cared at all, to ask. He shifted uncomfortably on the seat, the urge to cough building once again.

"All jokes aside," Duo said, the smile slipping from his face as he locked eyes with Heero. "What?" he squawked, sitting up straight. "I can be serious." Heero raised his right eyebrow, staring at the man across from him with obvious doubt.

"I can!" Duo scowled, "When the occasion absolutely, totally calls for it," he defended, but the corners of his mouth could not maintain their serious frown.

"Riiight…" Heero muttered, unconvinced.

Duo leaned elbows on his knees, bringing his piercing eyes that much closer to Heero's face. "Are you going to tell me what went wrong? I was there for the briefing. It was a simple enough job. I even seem to recall you stating that it would be an easy in and out, no snags…" He trailed off, expression growing expectant, as he waited for Heero to offer something to the conversation.

Heero cleared his throat again, abdominal muscles flexing with the need to cough, and glared at the man sitting on his coffee table.

"Clearly you found a snag," Duo continued with a sigh. His eyes swept up and down Heero's body, "C'mon, don't make me wait to read it in your report to Une."

"She's waiting for those items," Heero pushed out, certain the strain in his voice could easily be mistaken for frustration.

Duo flipped a dismissive hand towards the door. "Une can wait—"

"I'll tell her you said that," he cut in with a threatening tone.

"Pretty sure, she's going to care more about what happened to you on this job than that the delivery was delayed." Duo said with a disgustingly confident smirk on his face.

YYYY

"You know, you're the only one I know who would insist on working these sorts of jobs alone." Duo's expression shifted, intense eyes boring into Heero from beneath serious eyebrows. "The rest of us? We'd have made use of Preventers resources. At the very least, have a team on standby if we wanted to go in alone."

Unable to suppress the need any longer, Heero turned away from Duo, coughing. The fit soon doubled him over, as he fought to draw a regular breath. Side aflame, Heero hunched around the wound. A firm palm came down on the centre of his back, patting a few times as if that could make a difference.

"Ugh…" Heero groaned, pushing himself upright while trying to knock Duo's arm aside.

Icy fingers gripped the back of Heero's neck, sending a shiver racing down his spine. "I sure hope you weren't feeling this bad when you insisted on taking this job." Duo's voice was unusually serious, through the roar in Heero's ears. "Of course, this only adds to my earlier question. Why the hell didn't you call for backup if you were sick?"

Heero dislodged Duo's hand from his neck and melted back against the couch. "I don't know what you're talking about," he glared darkly.

"Oh, riiiight," Duo drawled, slowly nodding his head. "What was I thinking? You've always looked like an ad for death and been allergic to oxygen."

"Why are you still here?" Heero asked, his words harsher with the hoarseness of his voice.

As always, Duo remained completely unaffected by Heero's tone. "Not going to admit it?" he quipped. "I don't know why that should surprise me." Duo flipped his braid back over his left shoulder, fixing Heero with another serious look. "Nothing's change for you, has it?"

Heero cleared his throat, looking away from the annoyance on his coffee table to the kitchen. 'Would he take the hint if I walked away again?' Heero immediately knew the answer to his own question and wasn't the least bit pleased about it. He pulled his feet towards the edge of the couch's frame, readying himself to get up.

"You're the exact same man you were during the war," Duo pressed on, pushing himself straight. "You don't trust. Won't let anyone in. You've had this apartment for how long?" he asked, gesturing around the open concept living space. "It looks like nobody lives here."

Despite his intentions of tuning out Duo's diatribe, Heero's eyes swept the room. He could just see the edge of his leather jacket peeking out from the part wall near the door. A pair of combat boots stood neatly beside that wooden chair. Two chairs stood on either side of the coffee table in front of the couch, opposite the decently sized TV on the far wall.

Heero spied two rail-backed chairs tucked against the kitchen island - to his left. 'What more does the place need?' Heero's scowl finally made its way back to Duo.

"You know," Duo began, drawing in a deep breath. "It wasn't easy for me either, adjusting to the peace. I didn't know how to put aside the soldier. The struggle to survive, the necessity of distrust and caution, defined so much of our lives."

"I couldn't seem to let myself relax. I couldn't believe that this peace was ever going to last. Surely we'd be at war again any minute, and I realized I needed to remain ready for that." Duo smirked, shaking his head slowly. "It took me a while, but I realized you can't live like that. Putting your life on hold, waiting for disaster to strike."

Heero let Duo's voice wash over him, just as he'd learned to do during the war. Duo had always possessed the habit of saying just about anything that popped into his head. That constant onslaught of words often set Heero's teeth on edge if he focused on it too much.

"The rest of us have found various ways to scratch out a living in this new era of peace. We've all managed to let ourselves rely on the help and support of other people. To not have to do everything on our own," Duo continued, his tone growing increasingly pointed. It was always harder to filter him out when he got like this.

"Finding someone you want to let in, now that's the first real challenge," Duo said with a wide grin. "But I think we can both agree. You've actually got that step covered." His eyebrows waggled on his forehead.

Heero stared at the braided idiot sitting in front of him. "What are you talking about?" the question slipped past his lips while Heero's brain was still reprocessing what he'd just heard.

"Oh, come on," Duo's shock was clear in the volume of his voice. "You aren't actually going to sit there and deny that you wouldn't mind letting Relena in?"

Something foreign stirred in Heero's chest, his heart beating out of turn at the mere mention of her name. It caused a strange ache, totally unlike the pain in his head or side. This gaped inside him, like a hungry void trying to swallow him whole.

Duo's disbelieving face pulled back into focus, as Heero remembered how to breathe. The other man frowned. "Okay, so maybe you will…" he gave his head a quick shake, shrugging shoulder before narrowing his focus back on Heero. "Your stubborn denials aside, let me tell you right now. You're the only one who doesn't see that there's clearly something between the two of you."

Heero tensed, his heart thudding traitorously in his chest. His mind leapt at the chance to remind him of the way Relena smiled. How her eyes appeared to tilt when she was truly happy. The small crinkled around her aqua coloured eyes, or how her dark lashes made her eyes truly sparkle with her mirth.

He pulled in a shaking breath, his whole body trembling like someone had doused him with freezing water. Heero shook aside those memories and forced down the strange feelings bubbling up in his chest. Clenching his teeth, Heero shifted to the edge of his seat.

Duo leapt back on the table as Heero heaved himself back onto his feet. The stiffness of his movements disgusted Heero and he forced himself straight with a grunt. Swinging his head upright proved a mistake. The change in elevation caused Heero's vision to swim out of focus, blurring to black across the centre.

Panic gripped him, and Heero shot out a hand to steady himself on the nearest thing he couldn't see. "You know," Duo said, his words strangely vibrating against Heero's palm. "Admitting you need help doesn't make you weak…"

Heero blinked down at his right hand. It took a moment to bring into focus that he was gripping the side of Duo's head to steady himself. He yanked his hand back. 'Stupid!' he snarled into the recesses of his mind. Turning away from his friend, Heero walked into the kitchen.

"Would you care to guess what does make you look weak?" Duo called after him. Heero risked giving his head a quick shake, but placed a supporting hand against the kitchen island just in case. The coffee table creaked behind him as Duo got to his feet to follow.

"Times up and the audience is stumped." A hand caught Heero's right arm. "The correct answer is, refusing help when you actually need it," Duo informed him, in that infuriately serious tone.

Heero pulled his arm free. "I said I was fine," he growled, pulling open the cupboard he kept the glasses in.

Behind him, Duo heaved an exaggerated sigh. "That's just the thing, though, isn't it? You don't have to be fine." Duo groused over the sound of the faucet running.

Gripping the countertop with his left hand, Heero turned back to face the other man. He glared at Duo over the lip of his glass. "Une's still waiting," he reminded bluntly, before taking another drink.

Duo's mouth opened, lips already forming words Heero had heard enough of, but no sound came out. Instead, he threw his hands up in defeat with another heavy sigh. "Fine!" he barked much too loudly. "If that's how you want to be. I'll go," he took a half step away, before turning back around to point a finger squarely at Heero's chest.

"But sooner or later, you're going to have to start relying on more than just yourself!" He turned back towards the apartment door. "Just remember I warned you…" Duo muttered, clearly meaning for it to be heard.

Heero actually breathed a sigh of relief when the door closed securely behind Duo. His eyes swept the now empty main room of his apartment. The walls appeared to stretch away from him, amplifying the hollowness left behind. Heero gave his head a careful shake.

"When have I ever known what he's talking about?" Heero muttered, finishing his water. Placing aside his glass, Heero gripped the edge of the counter against the tremble in his legs. "Sleep, that's all I need," he decided, making his way towards his room.