A/N: "Good feeling's gone" as Marlin from Finding Nemo would say. *Sigh* Erik wrestles with himself a lot in this chapter. Poor Erik. And poor Darcey. Things that happen in this life leave traces, whether good or bad, that return to our minds. She has some not so good ones that are returning to haunt her. I hope while this is not a very happy chapter, you still enjoy it. Love you all!
Chapter Seven:
Traces
They played the organ together for several hours until Darcey was drifting to sleep. Erik then lifted her into his arms and carried her but she was asleep before he could take more than a couple steps. He laid her gently down, careful not to disturb her foot or ribs. She turned to lay on her side and her breathing continued to be slow and steady. He brushed the hair back from her face and watched her for a few seconds before turning away disgusted with himself. He walked quickly out of the room, closing the door behind him. He walked back to the organ and sat down on the bench. He started playing in his frustration.
What was he doing? Why was he so stupid? In the short time he had known Darcey she had somehow managed to start working her way into his heart. Why had he agreed to be her friend? He couldn't allow himself to be weak. That only caused him pain. He had tried to love Christine but he soon realized that it was not possible for him to be loved and to try would only cause him heartache. Why was he letting this girl get under his skin? No more. He wouldn't let her affect him. He could be her "friend" but that didn't mean anything. No attachment was needed.
He suddenly stopped playing as he realized he was playing the first song they had played together. She played very well he had to admit. He had been surprised by her musical talents. He wondered if she would be a good dancer. He shook his head, mentally growling at himself. No. Enough of that. She had great skill, that was true, but he refused to get involved. He had helped Christine and where had it gotten him? Nowhere with a broken heart thrown into the mix. He glanced at his pocket watch. Only six in the evening. He sighed. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He would be awake for several hours more despite his exhaustion.
He couldn't play the organ anymore tonight. He sighed. She had left a mark on it that he was afraid would never leave. He picked up the violin that was sitting in its case on the floor and lifted it to his shoulder. He began to play, a slow smooth song that contradicted his current state of mind. Eventually he began to calm as he let the sound sooth and comfort him, distracting him from his problems and questions. He could be cool-headed and collected until Darcey was well and could leave. His heart and mind could withstand that amount of time. At least he hoped.
Erik yawned, standing to place the violin back in its case. It was midnight and he had played so long that his fingers cramped and he felt blisters appearing on his fingertips. He stretched and went to his own room, resisting the urge to check on Darcey and instead passed her room as fast as possible. He closed the door and proceeded to get ready for bed.
He climbed in bed, laying on his back. Erik tried to banish all thoughts but ones concerning a certain young lady remained. He sighed deeply, refusing to give in. Why couldn't he just forget her? She was nothing to him. Sure he would act as her friend but only so she was more comfortable while she recovered. Then they would part ways and he would forget about her. He ignored the voice in his head that was calling him a liar. He would forget her. She meant nothing to him and would remain that way.
He shifted onto his side and opened his eyes. Maybe if he just checked on her quickly to make sure she was alright. It didn't mean that he cared. He was just... concerned for her welfare. He didn't want her to be in pain. He could give her some laudanum if need be though he would prefer not to. He sighed heavily before throwing off the covers and getting up. He walked to her room and quietly opened the door. His eyes widened when he saw she was not in the bed. He looked around the room in growing panic when he saw something move out of the corner of his eye. There she was sitting on the floor by the closet. She looked terrified and stared blankly at the opposite wall. She was shaking and shivering.
Erik strode over and crouched down in front of her. She continued to stare at something that wasn't there. He pushed aside the feeling of wanting to protect her and cleared his throat. "Darcey?" She didn't respond. "Darcey?" he repeated, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. She jerked away before crying out in pain as she clutched her ribs.
"Don't hurt me," she cried, tears slipping down her tears. She tried to scoot away but only ran into the closet door.
"Darcey. It's me Erik. I'm not going to hurt you. I only want to help. I'm going to make the pain go away," he said, not knowing if she heard him or not. She sat motionless as she cried and stared blankly at the wall. He stood up and quickly found the laudanum in the other room. He returned to find that she had not moved but he was relieved she had stopped crying. He approached her and again laid a hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him with watery eyes. At least she was calmer now. He guessed she had had a nightmare like she had the other night. Whatever had happened to her seemed to haunt her and he wondered if she had nightmares every night. He remembered many sleepless nights after having a nightmare about his pain filled past. As he looked into her eyes, he saw untold depths of pain and sorrow that touched his soul. She was a kindred spirit in a sense and he felt regret that she had had to experience what obviously tortured her. He still had nightmares occasionally.
"I have some medicine for you. It will take away the pain," he promised her. She didn't say anything but obediently opened her mouth to swallow the amount he gave her. He then picked her up and placed her on the bed. She looked empty as if her insides had been removed and all that remained was an empty shell. She had no emotion but just seemed to exist but Erik knew she was only hiding deep within herself from the pain the memory caused. She detachedly responded to his prodding to lay back down. He could see the effects of the laudanum starting to work on her. Gradually her eyes drifted closed and he tucked the blankets up around her. He turned and walked away, refusing to let this touch him anymore than it already had. She was innocent but had been forced to face untold terrors in her past. He didn't know what they were but he knew the feeling of being helpless and frightened. He left and went back to bed, giving up on pushing away thoughts of Darcey. He wondered what she had gone through that was so terrible as to haunt her so badly as to cause her physical pain. It wasn't too much longer until he finally fell asleep feeling physically and emotionally drained.
A/N: Pobrecita. The poor girl. *Sigh* Anyways... This is my experiment and improvement story. Let me know what you think I could do to improve my writing. All opinions are welcome. I will take them into consideration and see what I can do. Read and Review. Thanks!