Chapter Twelve:

Conflicted

The next four days passed slowly, much of the time Darcey spent either sleeping or eating. Her cuts and bruises faded, the cuts on her arms faded until they matched the ones on her back. She had many scars which she only hoped would fade with time as well as the memories that had created them. She sighed as she turned onto her side to look at the music box. It had become her almost constant companion, that monkey. Erik would sit by her bed and read or whittle until she fell asleep. He was always gone when she awoke but the monkey would still be going. Some of the days she found a note as well as a tray of food, other days she would soon find him entering with the tray and he would eat with her. Other than for meals, before he would leave to run errands, or before she fell asleep in the evenings, she hardly saw him. He would leave her alone to read, sketch, sleep, etc. She sometimes would hear him playing either the violin or the organ.

She sighed. Today was the day she was going back above. While she was getting bored and did not want to stay in bed any longer, she didn't want to leave. The lair had become comfortable to her. It felt like more than just a place she had lived in for the past week. It felt like... Home. She had hoped to have more violin lessons but he had never offered and she didn't dare ask. She wondered if she would ever see him after today. She ignored the part of her that hoped she would.

'She is going back today,' Erik thought as he made breakfast. He had grown too comfortable in her company. He could feel her worming her way deeper into his heart despite his efforts to stop her. Sure she was probably not trying but she was succeeding nonetheless. He sighed. He had a plan. He picked up the tray and made his way to her room. He walked in to find her lost in thought but she soon looked up and smiled. She looked so pretty when she smiled. He shook the thought away and handed her the tray. She had gained some weight and no longer looked so thin. She still was thin but not as drastically as she had before. He sat down as she began eating, neither of them speaking. She finished and he took the tray to set it on the table by the bed. They continued to sit silently until he cleared his throat. "Going back today."

She nodded. "Yes. Going back." They were silent again before Darcey couldn't stand it anymore. "Will I ever see you again?"

He hesitated before answering. "Yes. I think you will. If you would like to that is." At her nod he smiled a bit. He ran a hand through his hair, thinking about the best way to continue. "Um... I think you should stop pretending to be a boy. I understand that you might feel uncomfortable or unsafe or something but I think you should be yourself."

She tensed and she began to finger the blanket. "I don't know... what would I do then? Could I still be a stagehand? What if Mme. Giry won't let me stay?"

"Shush. She already knows. You are a wonderful singer, I haven't seen you dance but I would assume your skill matches your other musical skills. You could be a part of the cast, the lead, or a musician or if you really wished, you could continue being a stagehand though I wouldn't like it. Whatever pleases you." He looked completely serious and Darcey couldn't help but blush at his complements. He thought highly of her it seemed and she wasn't sure she deserved it.

"I'm a tolerable dancer. I only know the piano and organ well enough to play and I don't believe they have one in the orchestra. I don't think I'm skilled enough to be the lead and I don't know if I feel comfortable being in the presence of the other stagehands was I not dressed as a boy."

He sighed, shaking his head. "You are too hard on yourself. I will teach you the violin. You are a fast learner based from your first lesson. You should be able to play well enough by the next opera. I could also teach you to dance and sing if you like." He mentally berated himself for offering and even more so for wishing her to accept. Remaining in her company on a regular basis could bring nothing good.

"I would love that." She looked extremely happy, a slight blush still present on her cheeks.

"You can remain above during the day and come down here during the evenings. I will teach you then and you may sleep either here or above. I will escort you to and from here. Does this arrangement please you?"

She nodded. "Very much so. Thank you." She smiled brightly at him and he couldn't help but smile a little in return.

"Very well. Get dressed and I will lead you to the surface." He stood and left the room with the tray, shutting the door behind him.

Darcey jumped out of bed, excited. She would be returning to the surface where she would be free to do as she pleased and be able to go outside. She would also be returning here and would be learning from Erik. She was so excited. She hesitated to dress as a girl still but did so anyways, putting on a silver skirt and a light purple bodice. She pulled on some thin shoes. They felt strange as she hadn't been wearing shoes during her time down her and before she had worn old shoes that while more sturdy, were not very comfortable. She opened the door and Erik approached with a bag. "Put most of the dresses in here. They are all yours but you might want to keep some here." She nodded and placed the dresses, her few sketches, and the books he had given her in it.

Once she was ready, she left and Erik took the bag and offered his free arm to her. She took it gratefully as he began to take her down one of his passageways. There were torches every so often, casting yellow pools of light. She wasn't sure she could remember the way on her own and was amazed that he could navigate them so easily. After many turns, they went up some steps until they reached what looked like a large window that went all the way to the floor. He set down the bag and to her amazement, he slid it open. She realized they were looking into her room. She walked through and turned around to find that they had come out of her mirror. He set the bag down on her bed before walking to the door. "Until tonight, Darcey." He bowed before leaving through the mirror, replacing the glass so she was left with her own reflection.