Authors note: I received a rather stern criticism about my story, but particularly my female character, for sleeping with Gale and getting pregnant. In all fairest the majority of the story is written from her perspective, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. With that said…
What struck me about their comment was a theme I see present in everyday life all the time. Some of you may be aware of it, some of you may not. So please, follow me for a moment… I'm make the assumption that less readers are mad at Gale than Aster, the reviewer certainly was. And the point I'm making here is…
It's different for girls. Girls are held to a very different standard than boys when it comes to their sexual activities. Why is that? There's a long list of answers, but I would much rather ask you, the reader to find one of your own. Next time you read or hear or see a situation and you're first instinct is the blame the female. I encourage you to stop for a moment and ask yourself why.
Some of you will blow this off, some of you will realize there's a real message in this.
Truth, Bitter Truth
It's been almost week to the day since I told Gale. A week that has felt like an eternity and a death sentence all in one breath. I've tried to keep myself busy. Not let the hurt take hold in my heart. Katniss has returned home, and I've been desperate to see her, to hug her, and tell her how happy I am that she's back, but the Capitol officials have kept her and Peeta on a short leash. I've only gotten to offer her a fleeting wave across the town square before another round of camera's whisked them away.
The reporters and cameras have been following her and Peeta's every move. Chronicling, their world win love affair and moving both victors into the plush estates of Victor's Village. Just one of many prizes awaiting Katniss and Peeta now that they've won the Hunger Games. I'm not sure what to think of her and Peeta. I could see how the games could bring them together, but I also know Katniss would do anything to stay alive.
Despite my best efforts to follow their news and focus on my friend's victory and return, I know I have to make a choice. Days ago, I came to the conclusion Gale wouldn't be standing by me. I haven't heard hide nor hair of him since I told him. That alone speaks louder than words. That leaves only two options… Attempt to make it on my own. Raise this baby with little help and no resources in a district where dying of starvation is common place, where children sent to the Hunger Games almost never return, and mining accidents are a regular threat.
Or option two… Mrs. Everdeen's offer still lingers in my head. I hate to look at it. It's the last thing I want to do, but I'm beginning to think it might be my only option of mercy. Mercy for both of us. But I hate to even think of it, because it's a choice that feels sick inside me. Makes me feel like I'm labeling this baby a mistake and just erasing it away. But in my heart I know that's not true. In my heart I know if I chose that it wouldn't erase anything. I would always know. I would always have to live with it. Nothing would ever be the same. So instead I keep myself busy. Trying to keep my distance from both my mind and heart. Buying myself another day, just another day.
It was late evening on a hot summer day, the air felt thick and sticky, and a heavy pungent smell hung in the air. I was just getting ready to finish up dinner, fried rabbit, when my grandmother's voice picks up quietly.
"Aster dear, I think there's someone here to see you." She says, from her chair beside the kitchen table. Keeping me company while I slave over a meal for a family that hardly cares besides her. Her eyes gaze out the window on our backdoor. Her words appearing purposefully quiet enough to be for my ears only.
Killing the flame on the burner, I step back the stove, wiping my greasy hands on a kitchen cloth as I move to the window to see who she's talking about. Not expecting anyone, I can't imagine who would be outside. My heart begins to pick up hoping maybe its Katniss or Peeta until my eyes survey our backyard and my heart sinks.
Sure enough, there he is, Gale Hawthorne standing just beyond my fence. Stoic and brooding look upon his face, standing tall, his shoulders squared as he continues to stare. His eyes catching mine instantly.
A fury begins to rumble inside me with the sight of him. "I'll be right back," I call to my grandmother as I place the kitchen cloth on the table and quickly escape out the back door, praying no one else has seen him.
Marching across my yard with quick hot steps, I easily move through the opening in the fence. Our eyes meet on my approach, but I don't say a word as I swiftly grab his hand and drag him back down the alley, away from my home. And hopefully away from prying eyes.
When we reach what I hope is a safe spot behind my neighbor's house, I release his hand as if his touch burns, and turn on him like a woman scorned.
"Are you crazy?! What if someone saw you?!" My lips fly with all the emotion that has been building inside me since the day Gale chose to stay mute on the hilltop. The day I needed him most. I had no idea how angry I really was with Gale Hawthorne until I find myself standing before him, a fire burning in my gut.
There's a look of surprise in his gray eyes, as if maybe he didn't realize I have this much spunk hidden inside me. And a spark in his pupils tells me maybe he even likes this change in my demeanor.
"So what if they did?" He throws back with a defiant shrug of his shoulders, as if he refuses to bow down to the people privileged enough to live in town.
"My brother probably would have called on the peacekeepers, that's what. Said you were trying to steal one of our pigs, or something." My words sternly lecture him as my eyes drill in with ridicule. Refusing to allow his fearlessness to take a hold in my heart like it usually would. I refuse to let Gale Hawthorne anywhere near my heart ever again.
His face seems to harden as if challenged, not necessarily by me, but the implication itself. "I'm not afraid of peacekeepers." He speaks without a flinch.
Letting out a huff as I roll my eyes, I've heard enough. Surely he didn't come all the way here just to debate his bold loathing of authority with me, and now I want to know why he came.
"What are you doing here, Gale?" I question him point blank, my eyes drill into his unflinchingly as I cross my arms to my chest. Not giving him an inch, not anymore.
He seems to grow uncomfortable with my question. Suddenly less confident then he was just moments ago. Reaching up, he scratches the back of his neck, fidgeting for a moment. Nodding to himself, he bites down on his lower lip as if internally contemplating something, before his eyes finally return to mine, and his lips come to life.
"I'm in." His breath is husky and low. His jaw flexing with the emphasis. His words cryptic.
I eyeball him for a moment as if he's only making this more unnecessarily confusing. "In what?" I ask, frustration lining my breath. Unclear of what he is getting at and in no mood to guess.
Taking me by surprise, rapidly Gale approaches me. I feel my breath catch, my feet stumbling back to create distance as he comes closer. When my back hits the fence, I'm forced to stop, but Gale doesn't. Not until he's practically flush against my body. My muscles tighten as I practically flinch with the closeness. I don't want him to touch me. That's the last thing I want. After last time, I don't trust myself this close to him. And I'm still too angry to let him have this kind of power over me.
There's intensity in his eyes as they barrel down upon me, a seriousness I can't define. And then I feel it, his hand slips between our bodies to rest upon my lower stomach. His touch is tender as if he's purposefully trying to be gentle.
"I'm in." He whispers on a husky breath that sends tingles running through my skin as his eyes never back down from mine. The look in his gaze steals my breath and screams louder than his touch that he means every word.
Lost in the spell only Gale seems to put me under, it takes me a moment to come back to my senses, but once I do, I'm shoving him back, away from me. My heart shooting to life as my eyes frantically scan down the alley and into neighboring homes to see if anyone has seen us. Knowing the repercussions I would face if someone did. Feeling fairly certain we've gone unnoticed, my eyes return to Gale standing across from me.
"Why?" I ask him bluntly. The first sign of emotion touching my orbs as they drill into him, because his declaration gives me a breath of hope I'm not going to be alone in this, but first, I need to know why he's changed his mind. I have to know he's certain before I give him an inch again.
Gale doesn't seem surprised by my question. Perhaps he figured I would question his intentions all along. Holding my eyes, he takes a step closer to me again, not too close, but close enough that only I can hear his answer, before dropping his gaze to the ground below.
"I know what's it's like to grow up without a father. I would never do that to my own child." Gale won't meet my eyes when he admits this, but I can hear the pain he's trying to hide on his breath. A wound I had almost forgotten he held. Quickly he steps back from me, creating the space he seems to sense I need.
Seeing that look in his eyes, hearing the vulnerability on his breath, I know he's telling the truth. He gets it, the implications of our situation, maybe even better than I do. I'm still hurt by the way things have played out between us. I don't know if I trust him with my heart, but now, I do know I trust him with our baby.
"Ok," I accept his answer. Accept him, and while I'm unclear of what this means for us, I at least know I'm not alone in this. And for the first time since I realized I'm pregnant I feel a weight lift off my chest.
A smile spreads wide across his face with my answer, as if he didn't expect me to give in so easily. As if he anticipated I'd continue to fight him. A smile I've only seen him offer to Katniss before, never me. It makes my heart involuntarily pick up its pace even though I know I still have to be cautious with my heart around him.
"My mom wants you to come for lunch tomorrow. It won't be much… She wants to meet you. Can you get away?" Gale stumbles on his words, on explaining himself. I get the feeling he's still as unsure about our new connection as I am. Never one with words, I can tell he's struggling to make this feel natural.
The day hits me, tomorrow is Sunday. His first day off since we talked, and I can't help but think maybe he's wanted to tell me for days now, but hasn't had the chance. A smile finds my lips to match his as I nod slowly. It's endearing the effort he's putting into making this not awkward or forced like we both know it really is.
"I'll be there." I agree. Swept up in the moment that has turned my life so completely around in such a short period of time I'm not sure how to take it all in.
Gale's lip twitches one last time, the side of his mouth curling up in a smile. "See you tomorrow." He calls in departure before walking back down the alley. Leaving me dazed, mind spinning as I try to piece it all together.
When I make it back inside my house, my sister in-law, Marigold is already waiting at the bottom on the stairs.
"Who was that boy you were with?" Her lips sneer as her eyes pierce me, her hand resting firmly on her jutted hip.
I stare her down for a moment. I loath this woman. She's everything I'm not and never want to be. Her heart is so cold only vain darkness radiates from her eyes.
"It was no one." I answer firmly, before returning to the stove to make sure the rabbit was in fact done when I pulled it from the burner.
"Didn't look like no one. Didn't look like he belonged around here at all." Her words hiss accusingly at my back. Self-righteousness thick on her breath as if she is so much better than the people struggling within the Seam.
Her words set fires within me and have me dying to make her eat her words. Spinning around to face her, my eyes meet Marigold's like a dare.
"What do you care?" I throw back at her. My eyebrows defiantly arched in a challenge.
"You're not actually getting involved with a boy from the Seam, are you?" My brother's low accusing voice picks up from the side entrance to the kitchen. I hadn't even realized he was here until now. My eyes dart between Marigold and my brother, weighing the moment. I know now would be a good time to shut up. The warning in my brother's voice implies as much, but I don't feel like backing down this time.
Because after my talk with Gale, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep my secret. Which means I might not be here that much longer anyway. That knowledge empowers me to throw to the side civility for the sake of peace and really let them know how I feel. In a way that I rarely do out of fear of the repercussion, but right now, I don't give a damn.
Turning to my brother my gaze locks with his. "And what if I am? You're just pissed that I might not be the pure little bride you'd like when you go to sell me off to the highest bidder." I practically spit at him. Vile hatred oozing off my breath as I don't even try to hide my true feelings.
Swiftly punishment is handed down. "Silence!" He hollers as he charges at me so fast I barely see him move until I feel the back of his hand slam into my cheek. The force of it sending me crashing to the wooden floor below.
On instinct, my hand rises to the burning spot on my cheekbone. It stings to the touch and as I pull my hand back I find blood on my fingertips. His ring have cut across my skin with the blow. I'm shocked into silence. I know I should have seen this coming, it's a rare occasion when he's anything, but cold and removed from me.
Our relationship is complicated and often fraught with physical conflict that crosses the line, but he's only ever smacked me across the face a handful of times. Times when I really pushed him, like I should have known I was doing today. I just didn't see it coming. So caught up in my own anger I didn't realized I had crossed that line until I found myself down here, on the floor.
"Lydle!" My grandmother sheiks in horror as she struggles to rise up from her seat at the table and go to me. She tries to stay out of our conflicts, too old to wage war, and nearly defenseless if he turned on her, but she's always quick to let my brother know when he's gone too far.
"Don't!" He yells at our grandmother, furry still in control of him. Warning her to not even think about getting in the middle of this.
Refusing to let him know he's hurt me. That he's surprised me, and caught me off guard, I force myself back onto my feet. My legs are shaky with adrenaline, but I try my hardest to keep them steady. My eyes meet my brother's as I glare at him with all the hatred barely contained inside me.
"Make your own damn dinner." I hiss, before swiftly turning on my heels and heading for the stairs. The sly smile on Marigolds satisfied face has me pushing her out of my way as I charge upstairs into the bathroom and lock the door behind me.
Navigating through the cinder streets of the Seam, dotted with houses that are barely standing. I know which one is Gale's from the handful of times with Katniss we passed by it after a day in the woods. My stomach feels like it's in knots as I near Gale's home. I don't know what to expect. I've never met his family and I can only imagine what his mother must think of me given the current situation I'm in with her son.
On top of that, I still don't know where I stand with Gale. I believe he will be there for me with the baby, but what that means for us, I don't know. I'm not foolish enough to think that just, because I'm having his baby he's suddenly going to fall for me. And I'm not sure I would want that anyway. I'm not sure how I feel about Gale being near my heart right now. All the unanswered questions, all the uncertainty, it has my palms sweating and not just because of the sticky heat of summer in the Appalachians.
There's a knock at the door and Rory is scrambling to answer it before I can even make a move. "Is Gale here?" I hear a nervous meek voice call with uncertainty from the door. My eyes turn toward the door, but still I don't move. Giving myself a few more moments to work up my nerve to face this, face her with my family.
I hear Rory let out a whistle of approval with the sight of Aster. A little tune sung to the pretty girls in the Seam as they pass by. I can't hold back the mischievous smirk that fills my lips with the sound of it, knowing in all inevitability he picked it up from me. Going on thirteen, Rory is gangly limbs and full of hormones, and completely hopeless about minding his manners around a pretty girl.
My mother is quick to reach the door next. A woman who's lived a hard unfair life, but hasn't let it steal the light in her eyes. I've heard people talk, they say she's a natural beauty with shiny dark hair and haunting gray eyes. I find touches of myself in her as I grow older, but she insist I'm still a mirror image of my father. A compliment I wear with pride, since me and my siblings are that's left of him. "Alright, that's enough." I hear my mother shoo Rory away.
I can already picture it, she'll greets Aster at the door with a smile. "You'll have to excuse Rory. He forgets his manners sometimes. Please come in." I finally turn around and face the door. My mother has a gentle hand on Aster's shoulder as she leads me into my home. I watch Aster's evergreen eyes survey the place and I find myself doing the same. Really looking at it for the first time in perhaps forever. Trying to see it through her eyes.
The walls look solid enough, but nearly chipped of all remaining paint. There's a hearth in the center of the main room. Our only source of heat in the winter. Off to the side there are three doors. Two bedrooms and one bathroom. What Aster doesn't know is I still share a room with Rory and Vick, two flat mattresses on rusty brass frames, while my mother and Posy take the smaller room.
My eyes roam our small kitchen lined with the most rudimentary basics; wood burning stove, rusty metal sink, splinter riddled table. I know my house screams of dire poverty, but it's warm with love and that's more than can be said about a lot of the town homes.
My eyes stop roaming when I find Aster's orbs heavy upon me. I know it's time to face this and be a gentleman before my mother's patience wears thin, so I move toward to door.
"Hey," I offer her a welcoming smile, trying to ease the nerves in her eyes as they stay glued to mine. While I try to loosen the tension tight in my shoulders. Revealing I'm as unsure by this whole thing as she is.
"Hi," She smiles back, something flashes across her eyes fleetingly. If I'm not mistaken, it looked like a silent yearning reaching out for me, but I don't know Aster well enough to know for certain.
Before I can delve deeper into what's hiding in Aster's eyes, my mother pulls her into a hug. The kind that feels warm and can make even the worst day a little better. Saying without words, she's already accepted Aster as a part of the family. I'm surprised when I watch Aster eagerly return the embrace. When they pull back, my mother's hands fall to the wavy locks framing Aster's face. Quietly taking note, as her eyes seem to light up with approval to what she sees.
"You're beautiful," My mother says in the sweetest of ways. Her voice shining through her words as her eyes leave Aster and fall onto me beside her. Sending me a mischievous grin and an 'all knowing' gleam in her eyes. I hear what's saying, she sees now why this predicament transpired and I can't help, but rolls my eyes in response.
"Alright mom, give her a little room." I laugh off her teasing, reaching out to place a gentle hand on Aster's back and tug her closer to my side. She lets me take her, lets me guide her as I introduce her to the rest of the Hawthorne clan. Three more faces come into view as my mother steps to the side. Letting my thumb rub faintly at her lower back, I speak up.
"You met Rory," I point out first. "That's Vick," My hand gestures towards the younger one. Twelve and ten, but they look just like me; dark hair and gray eyes, growing like weeds every day. The unmistakable markings of living in the Seam.
They are my brother's and I'd die for them. Risked my life beyond the fence for years, and now risk my life every day in the mines so they can have better than I had. So they never have to take out tesserae's.
"And the little one's Posy." The introduction barely leaves my lips before Posy quickly approaches Aster. Stopping just before her with big brown eyes staring up at us. Posy looks like a little angel with those big eyes, round rosy cheeks, and shiny brown locks. And to me she is one. She's the light of life, the apple of my eye, in my eyes she's practically mine.
"Do you like books?" Posy questions Aster in a tiny sing song voice. Her eyes seeming to grow wider in anticipation of Aster's answer. Posy loves to read. A characteristic rarely found in the Seam, and not shared by her brothers, but from the day she was born I always felt Posy would best the best of us.
"I love books." Aster easily replies with a smile that sends my gaze falling down upon her. A smile spreading across my face as she pleases my sister. And before I can register the shift, Posy has Aster by the hand and is dragging her off to her room. "You can read me my favorite book." Posy cheers, pleased with Aster's response.
Aster's eyes shoot back to mine as she's dragged away, and I can't hold back the amused chuckle that leaves my lips with the sight, but something else stirs in my chest with her gentleness toward my sister. A feeling I can't quite pinpoint or identify, but it's something I know I've never felt for her until now.
When the day begins to come to a close, when the sun begins to lower and the air holds heavy from hours of heat, Gale walks me back to my home. We take the back alleys where less people will see us. Where we are less likely to have to explain why we're together. Overall, the day went better than I ever could have expected. Walking to Gale's home I hadn't known what to expect, but what I found was a family that really loves each other, and is willing to welcome me without judgment for the crimes that gained me entry.
Even Gale seems lighter around me. The strong muscles in his shoulders no longer hold tight when I'm near, his jaw no longer clenches when I speak. I even managed to muster a few laughs out of him today. Who knew I was capable of drawing that kind of amusement out of him. And his eyes, his eyes finally look at me like they're willing to give me a chance.
The day replays in my mind as we stroll through the back streets. Our eyes innocently catching every once in a while. I had read his sister Posy her favorite book so many times I think I might know the words by heart now, but I didn't mind, she's irresistible.
I helped Hazelle with the wash she did to earn money for her family. Even though she adamantly insisted I didn't need to, but I wanted to. A chance to say thank you for being kind to me, for welcoming me into her home. Our suds covered hands had scrubbed fabric against the washboard most of the afternoon, while watching on with amusement and laughter as Vick and Rory egged Gale on with every chance they could get.
Gale cooked up a rabbit soup he caught in the woods earlier that morning. Gale didn't judge me, even when I had made the mistake of approaching him while he skinned it, leaving me barely making it out his front door before I emptied my stomach. I thought he'd be angry. Interpret my actions as disgust, as if I was too good to eat the game he had hunted, but he surprised me.
Pulling my hair back from my face as I made a fool out of myself over the side of his porch railing. Offering me a glass of water and a mint leaf once I was sure I was done, with a few simply words he expressed that he knew it was the baby, the pregnancy. That was a real turning point for us. The moment I realized Gale might not just be there for the baby. He might be there for me too. Not as a boyfriend, but a partner of sorts in this predicament.
As we near my house our feet stop. Both seeming to understand the need to not have my family find out just yet. We turn to each other, awkward smiles on our faces, unsure of what to say, and that's when I make my fatal mistake. Out of nervous habit, I brush my locks behind my hair, and instantly I watch as the look in Gale's eyes shifts.
"Where'd you get that?" He questions me, his eyes narrowing as his hand reaches out for me. Cupping my cheek, as his thumb gently sweeps across my bruised and cut flesh. Touching my face for the first time since that day in the woods. Normally his touch would leave tingles in its wake, but this time I practically flinch, this is too potentially problematic to let those feelings come to the surface.
It feels like my heart stops for a moment as my pupil dilates with shock. I can't believe I forgot it's there. I had made such a point this afternoon to make sure no one saw it. I knew I could pull it off. The mark is close to my hairline, high up on my cheekbone. The bruise dark, the cut already a rough scab, but my wavy thick hair hides it well. And I almost make it home free until I mistakenly reveal it for Gale to see.
"It's nothing." I explain, with a brief dismissive shake to my head. My heart shooting back to life as I avoid his eyes.
He isn't buying it and he isn't letting go either. "Doesn't look like nothing." Gale pursues it with stubborn determination, stepping closer to me. I'm sure he's coming in for a better look as his thumb gently grazes it again.
My heart begins race, I feel like the ground is going to drop out from under me at any moment as I grab Gale's wrist and firmly pull his hand free of my face. Stepping back from him to create distance, my eyes hit him directly.
"Well it is." I insist. This is my problem, my family, and I'm not the only one in district twelve with it. This is one thing I have no intention of sharing with Gale. This is one thing I don't want him getting in the middle of and by the look on his face he thinks it's is a problem he might need to handle. And that's the last thing I want.
Gale licks his lips, looking me over silently for a moment as the wheels turn behind his eyes, deep with thought.
"That why you wander the Seam looking for something, go into the wood with me and Katniss like you're one of us? Is that why you were in the woods that day? Is that what you're running from?" Gale's words are low on his breath and I can see in his eyes he thinks he's figured it all out. Figured me out. As if I never made sense to him until now.
I'm challenged by his words. Words that in some ways hit a little more close to home than I'd like to admit, even to myself. "I'm not running." I throw back at him. Our eyes lock in a heated standoff. I refuse to look weak in his eyes right now. Weak in a way that I feel this situation is already painting me.
Gale meets my challenge and throws it back at me. "Then who did that to you?" He questions me directly. Daring me to give a name or admit that this is shamefully secret in a way that keeps my lips silent.
Knowing I can't win this fight. He's cornered me and I either fess up or admit he's right. So I try another approach. Try to reason with him. "It's not a big deal. Things just got out of hand. Haven't you ever lost your temper before?" I try to make him understand.
Stepping to me, Gale invades my space and seems to swallow the world around him. The tightness of his jaw tells me he has. He's lost his temper on more than one occasion, and how could he not with all that passion burning in his gut. But the look in his eyes says he'd never take it out on a girl.
"Who?" Gale whispers to me and this time there's no challenge in his eyes. His gaze is probing, but softer than before, and I can feel myself caving.
I close my eyes, not wanting to see the look on his face. "…My brother," I whisper. Knowing this news has the potential to set fires.
Knowing Gale probably hates him. Everyone hates Lydle. He's pretentious, self-righteous, and rude. He's not half the man my father was. That's why the family business has never recovered since my parent's death. Sucking in a sharp breath, I bite down hard on my lower lip. I don't want to see the look on his face, but my eyes are forced to open when I hear his feet moving away. I open my eyes to find Gale moving quickly down the alley, taking off for my backyard.
"Gale!" I holler urgently at his back, chasing after him, but he's quick. I reach my backyard just in time to see Gale banging on the door before Lydle opens it and Gale greets him with a tightly closed fist sent into his face. In an instant they disappear inside my home as my brother falls back and Gale goes after him, clearly not finished.
Heart shooting to life in my chest, I race up my backyard, faster than I've ever moved across it before, and in seconds I'm in the entryway. I barely register the sight of Gale on my kitchen floor, my brother pinned beneath him, his face already battered as Gale sends another punch flying.
"Stop it!" I scream at them. My heart pounding out of control, but before I can move, I feel Marigold shove me hard out of the doorway. My side slams into the edge of the table, a shooting pain rips through my abdomen as I let out a sharp cry.
"Aster!" I hear Gale call out to me, his voice thick with concern amidst the chaos. I find his deep worried eyes upon me, worried about the baby I'm sure, before my brother takes this moment of distraction to sock Gale in the face. My brother might be a weasel and a bully, but he doesn't go down without a fight. "Stop it!" I scream again, unsure of who I'm yelling at.
Then Marigold's voice hits my ears, pitched and frantic. She's at the back door, screaming for help, screaming for peacekeepers. That's when I realize she had shoved me out of the way to get to the door. To get help for Lydle. I know if peacekeepers come now Gale will be in unimaginable trouble. He could be flogged, or worse. A boy from the Seam assaulting a merchant in his home, they wouldn't care what the situation was, the punishment would be severe.
Reacting on instinct to protect Gale, I grab Marigold's arm and swiftly yank her into the house. Slamming the door shut, I step between it and her. I can hear my brother and Gale still fighting it out on the floor, but my eyes are locked on Marigold's as she charges at me to get back outside.
All the anger, all the years of hatred I've let brew inside me for both her and my brother come spilling out as I raise my tightly closed fist and send it flying into her face. Doing what I have to do to protect Gale who's fighting for what he thinks is right on the floor. Protecting him the way I think he's trying to protect the mother of his unborn child.
I don't know what I hit, but I know I made contact as my knuckles instantly throb and I hear her hit the floor below.
My brother's voice hits my ears next. "Marigold!" He cries out, and I'm astonished by the amount of emotion on his breath. I look down at her, her horrified eyes gazing up at me as her cups her bloody nose, but doesn't try to get back up.
"Stay down!" I hear Gale order beside me. My eyes shooting to him and I finally see the damage done. His lip is split open, his eye red and swelling, but my brother looks worse. Like a mess of creamy flesh and smeared blood. He's conscious, he'll recover, but it's not likely he'll ever forget being put in his place by a miner from the Seam.
"Gale," my voice quivers with adrenaline from the last few minutes as I step to him.
"I'm fine." He barks as the back of his hand wipes the blood dripping from his lip. His strength still held in front of him like a weapon, commanding the room. His eyes stay locked on my brother, still down on the floor, when he speaks again.
"Get your stuff, Aster." Gale orders me in a calm, but direct voice. I'm confused by what he's telling me. What does he mean go get my stuff? My already racing heart picks up its pace and my mind can barely grasp the magnitude of what he's saying. I don't want this. Things haven't spiraled that far out of control, have they? This is my home. And it may be ugly and it may be broken in a lot of ways, but it's still the only home I've ever known. It's the only place I've ever lived with my parents before they…
"What are you talking about, Gale?" I question him firmly, my voice wavering with emotion as I try to make him see the weight of his words.
Gale hears me, his stare finally breaking from my brother as his sympathetic eyes shoot to me and make contact.
"It isn't safe here for you or the baby, Aster. He shouldn't hurt you like that. It's not right. Go get your stuff… Trust me, ok?" His voice is gentler this time. And the look in his eyes tells me he knows what he's asking of me. To blindly trust him to take care of not only our baby, but myself as well. The pledge in his pupil swears he will, swears he'll add me to the list of people he's already responsible for. I just have to take the leap of faith.
"Baby?" I hear my brother choke out past blood smeared lips in response.
Not enough time to think this one over, not with the tension suffocatingly thick in the room. Trusting my gut, trusting him, I make a split second decision, and race up the stairs. Knowing I've barely begun to process something this enormous. All I know is I'm not staying here anymore. I don't know where I'm going or what's going too happened, but I'm leaving.
Shoving open my bedroom door, I go for my old travel chest in the far corner of my room. Flipping it open I quickly fill it with anything I think I might need. Knowing I probably won't be able to come back for anything else. I know I can't take everything. So I stick to the basic needs and then a few token items I know my heart won't be able to live without.
Dragging the chest from my room, I move as quickly as I can back down the stairs. The look on Gale's face when he sees the chest is a priceless mixture of disbelief and shock. I don't bother explaining, we don't have time. The urgency in my chest tells me this is a very tenuous situation that could pop off at any moment, and we need to leave as quickly as we can. Dragging the chest to the back door, I feel a warm hand touch my arm and instantly I know it's my grandmother. In all the chaos I hadn't seen her come in.
Our eyes lock as I rise. Tears welling in my eyes, because I don't know if this is the last time I'll see her. I want to take her with me, but I know I can't. I want to tell her what she means to me, how grateful I am for everything does done for me, but there isn't enough to time to do it sufficiently. Gently she wraps me in her arms.
"You're going to be just fine. We are strong women in this family." She whispers against my hair. Reassuring me I can do this, believing I'm strong enough. Our embrace, is brief, too brief, but time isn't on my side.
When we pull apart, Gale is at my side. "We need to go." His intense eyes sending me the weight of his words. Nodding, I step for the door when suddenly he stops.
I turn back to see my grandmother touching Gale's hand, their eyes locked. "Take care of my sweet girl." She says, tears shinning in her eyes with the importance of her only request.
Gale never looks away as he easily answers her. "I will." He promises. I can hear it on his breath, it's the kind of promise he wouldn't make unless he was committed to keeping it.
We go to leave when my brother's voice finally picks up. "You step out that door and I'll have peacekeepers on you before you make it to the Seam." He sneers, blood smeared across his pearly whites.
Gale practically growls as he steps to him in response, but I halt him with a touch. Saying without words, this one's my fight. Going to my brother, I kneel down before him. One of his eyes is swollen shut, the other daring me with his gaze, and I dare him right back.
"You heard right, I'm pregnant, and you are not going to interfere with my life anymore, because if you do, I'll tell the peacekeepers you've been lying about the store's income. I know you've been hiding away money. I know where you keep it. Now which crime do you think they'll care more about, assault or treason?" My words slip out like a slap to his face. I watch his eyes grow wide with horror before a quiet angry resolve sets in.
"Don't ever come back." He hisses at me, and I know I've made my point. He isn't going to say a word. He knows it'll cost him too dearly. Rising to my feet, I walk to Gale who's managed to hoist my travel chest up on his broad shoulder.
"I won't." I leave as a parting promise. Silently praying I won't have to eat those words one day. Never looking back because it would be too hard, moving to the door I feel Gale's hand on my lower back leading me out. Giving my grandmother one last smile that I hope conveys all the love I have for her, how grateful I am to have had her, and then we're off.
We make it out my yard and into the alley before we take off into a run just to be on the safe side. Gale keeps his word and doesn't bale on me that the Seam. And I never look back.
Authors Note:
The main point I was trying to make with Gale in this chapter is that he is a man of principle and responsibility. In the end of last chapter Gale had come to terms with this baby being an added responsibility. And in this chapter after being there for Aster when she got sick, but especially after discovering her family issues, he's decided she too is another responsibility he's going to take on, because she's the mother of his child. Which goes back to the fact that Gale's a man of principle, and caring for Aster because she's the mother of his child is the right thing to do in his eyes. Also, Gale does begin to see Aster differently in this chapter. He begins to see she's different than the privileged naïve girl he wrote her off as. Because of their situation he's allowing himself to see the different sides of her in a way that he wouldn't have been interested to before.
In this chapter you get to see the stronger side of Aster. She still feels unsure of herself around Gale, she still struggles with her feelings toward him, but she's trying to control those feelings instead of letting them control her. She's trying to take more control over her life. By the end of the chapter Aster chooses to take a leap of faith with Gale. And that really stems from her desire to want to trust him, because she does like him, while still not being sure she can trust him. As for her family, it finally reached a boiling point where Aster knew there was no turning back.
As for the vote, I realize now it was very confusing for most and ended in a tie anyway. So I'm just going to continue both stories. Feedback is highly encouraged. Please let me know what you think about the story, the characters, where things are headed. I love knowing what you guys think.