ZARIA
I was sitting in the living room of mine and Keeis hotel I was waiting on him really when I saw E! news was coming on normally I change the channel but the remote was in the kitchen on the counter and I was too lazy to get up and get it so I was stuck watching this. They was talking about white people problems I really didn't care.
"Z come on we gotta fucking go" he said running into the living room pulling me up from the couch.
"Wait I gotta get my purse where are we going in a hurry?" I asked grabbing my purse and my phone and was pulled out of the hotel.
"Hood just texted me they rushing Erin to the hospital" he said and it seemed like I was pulling him to the elevator we waited and it opened up and we got on there was the whole crew all of us on there, no one said a word we got to the ground floor and rushed out only to see the ambulance pulling off and I looked and saw Chris in the back seat in tears as Mijo and Sarynn drove off. We all rushed to the car and took off.
We got to the hospital and went in and was sent to the 7th floor where we walked to the waiting area and we saw Chris, Mijo, Sarynn and Pat and Alex sitting there Chris had his head down and he was clearly crying.
"What happen what they say?" I asked as we sat down.
"Waiting on the doctor to come back out" Sarynn said as she rubbed Chris's back. We sat there for about 30 minutes when the doctor came out and we all got up and went to him.
"Chris? Chris?" the doctor said and Chris walked up wiping his face.
"Yes that's me" Chris said
"You are listed as closet kin so is it safe to talk in front of everyone here?" the doctor asked
"Yes we're all family" Chris said
"Well Erin haves a cancerous tumor that started to from one abnormal cell. The exact reason why a cell becomes cancerous is unclear. It is thought that something damages or alters certain genes in the cell. This made the cell abnormal and multiply out of control. And with it spreading and the tumor already in her head it caused her to bleed uncontrollably and has she said anything about,Pain or discomfort in the upper abdomen" the doctor said
"She did for about 2 weeks and how she wasn't really hungry" Maya said
"Well we're going to do a biopsy" the doctor said and a few of us there was lost.
"What's that?" Hood asked
"A biopsy is a medical procedure that obtains a small piece of tissue for diagnostic testing. The sample is examined under a microscope to detect any abnormalities. A definitive diagnosis of cancer cannot be made unless a sample of the abnormal tissue is examined histologically" the doctor said and I watched Chris face and I wanted to cry for him.
"Ummmm wait yall just going to do that like it ain't nothing not giving a fuck about if it's necessary or not" Keeis said
"No sir we're not we're first going to do a gastro scope which is a thin, flexible, telescope. It is passed through the mouth, into the esophagus and down towards the stomach and duodenum. The endoscope contains fiber-optic channels which allow light to shine down so I can see inside her stomach and duodenum. And see what area needs to be cut and taken out to see what needs to be done for the surgery" the doctor said
"Surgery? Wait why surgery I mean really?" Maya asked
" The surgery will come after the biopsy When you have a gastroscopy, if anything abnormal is seen then I can take a biopsy. This is done by passing a thin grabbing instrument down a side channel of the gastro scope. It can take two weeks for the biopsy she is confirmed to have stomach cancer, further tests may be done to assess if it has spread. She'll have a barium meal X-ray, a CT scan, an MRI scan, an ultrasound scan, laparoscopy or other tests. This assessment is to see the stage of the cancer." The doctor said and I saw Chris walk away from the doctor.
"Stage? She was told she have cancer she haves a tumor in her head so what's the reason for doing this?" I asked
"Yes but we need to go in and see where has it spread, How much the tumor in the stomach has grown, and whether it has grown partially or fully through the wall of the stomach. Whether the cancer has spread to local lymph nodes. Whether the cancer has spread to other areas of the finding out the stage of the cancer it helps doctors to advice on the best treatment options. It also gives a reasonable indication of prognosis" the doctor said.
"Can this be cured?" Mijo asked
"The treatment may aim to cure the cancer. Some stomach cancers can be cured, particularly if they are treated in the early stages of the disease. But we doctors tend to use the word remission rather than the word cured. Remission means there is no evidence of cancer following treatment. If you are in remission, you may be cured. However, in some cases a cancer returns months or years later." The doctor said and I knew that to be true cause the one in her brain returned "This is why we are sometimes reluctant to use the word cured. And other treatment may aim to control the cancer. If a cure is not realistic, with treatment it is often possible to limit the growth or spread of the cancer so that it progresses less rapidly. This may keep her free of symptoms for some time. And also some treatment may aim to ease symptoms. If a cure is not possible, treatments may be used to reduce the size of a cancer, which may ease symptoms such as pain. If a cancer is advanced then you may require treatments such as food supplements, painkillers, or other techniques to help keep her free of pain or other symptoms."
"This surgery what happens?" Kid Red asked
"Removing the tumor may be curative if the cancer is in an early stage. The common operation is to cut out the affected part of the stomach. Sometimes the whole of the stomach is removed. Sometimes this is done laparoscopic ally a key-hole surgery. Even if the cancer is advanced and a cure is not possible, some surgical techniques may still have a place to ease symptoms. For example, a blockage may be eased by removing part of the stomach, or by using laser surgery or by a bypass operation. And after surgery she'll undergo chemo radiotherapy then we'll see how the treatment has taken." The doctor says
"Could she die from this surgery?" Marie asked
"No but each tumor removal surgery carries certain risks that are inherent to the procedure. There is always a risk of misdiagnosing a cancer if an inadequate sample was procured during biopsy, or if the tumor was not properly located. There is a chance of infection of the surgical site, excessive bleeding, or injury to adjacent tissues. The possibility of metastasis and seeding are risks that have to be considered in consultation with an oncologist. And it can cause it to spread thru the body faster and I hate to say this but her age and the stages of cancer she haves so far I'm surprised she'd been able to move around and do things on her own." The doctor said
"Can I see her?" Chris asked from behind us.
"Yes for a short while she's under anesthesia so she may come in and out of it" the doctor said and Chris went to follow him.
"Tell her we're all her and we love her" I said and Chris nodded his head and Chris followed the doctor down the hall way.
CHRIS
I was walking with the doctor with Pat behind me and we got to the room and the doctor stopped and looked at me.
"I shouldn't be saying this but I didn't wanna say this in front of everyone else. But if there's anything you wanna do for her, or she wanna do that's so important do it now, DO IT NOW! Cause the way they brought her in I was surprised she was and is still able to do a lot of things on her own" The doctor said and walked away and I stood there at the door and opened it and went in and I saw her laying there with her eyes closed and I walked to the bed and leaned down and kissed her forehead and I looked at her and she slowly opened her eyes and looked at me and smiled hard, and she touched my face.
"You been crying Chrissy pooh" she said in a sleepy voice.
"Nawl I haven't. The doctor said your going to be fine and get out of here soon" I said and she looked away then back at me.
Liar" she said and I smiled I looked at her face and she looked tired, I just want her to be better.
"Yea I'm lying" I said and she smiled and I took her hand and kissed it.
"Chris you know what I want?" she asked looking away towards the window.
"What's that bae?" I asked cause whatever she wanted I was giving it to her, no matter whatever it is I got all the money in the world and I'll give it to her.
"I wanna see fireworks, all the colors in the sky I just wanna see fireworks.." she says and closes her eyes "I always wanted to go to Paris see Paris me and my Mom was going to go there after I got done with college we was going to go there and see my Mom smile, Paris now I can't see Paris or my Mom smile there maybe she'll be able to go once I'm gone, once I'm gone" she starts to cry and I hold her hand tight and kiss it an d then I wipe her eyes and she looks at me. "I always wanted to go on a gondolier ride, you know what that is the long boat with the guy who moves the boat with the stick" I shook my head yes I knew what she was talking about. "Well they have them here but it's not the real one like in Paris, it's tradition on the ride that you kiss under the bridge. I may never get to do that, I may never get to see that"
"Yes you will" I said and I leaned to her and kissed her.
"I'm scared, where's my Mom? Is she here yet?" she asked
"She's on her way I sent Alex to go get her and my mamma" I said and I watch her close her eyes again. I need to tell her how I feel before it's too late. "Bae I gotta tell you something" She was silent I think the meds knocked her out. I sat there holding her hand.
After a few minutes the nurse walked in and looked at me and I looked at her.
"Sir we have to get her ready" the nurse said
"Can I have a few more minutes please?" I begged and the nurse nodded
"We'll be in about another 15 minutes" the nurse said and walked back out.
"" If you had a choice
Then what would you chose, to do?
I could live without money
And if everyday was sunny
I could live without the rain
And if I ever went up to heaven
I would fall right back down
That life wouldn't be living
Because you're the one I couldn't live without
If I couldn't blink
Would I still be able to see you
I couldn't imagine
Without arms could I reach
No way could I ever hold you
I need these things
Like I need you
If you had a choice
What would you chose
I could live without money
And if everyday was sunny
I could live without the rain
And if I ever went up to heaven
I would fall right back down
That life wouldn't be living
Because you're the one I couldn't live without
If I couldn't dream
Would I believe that there could be a you and me
And if I couldn't sing
Would you be able to hear my melody
And know that something's wrong
And I'm afraid that you're moving on
How can I fly when you're my wings
I need these things
Like I need you
If you had a choice
What would you chose
I could live without money
And if every day was sunny
I could live without the rain
And if I ever went up to heaven
I would fall right back down
That life wouldn't be living
Because you're the one I couldn't live without
You can take it all from me
And it wouldn't mean anything
Turn the whole world against me
As long as you don't leave
It's getting hard for me to sleep
Even harder for me to breathe
I'm used to life with you
Tell me what I need to do
I could live without money
And if everyday was sunny
I could live without the rain
And if I ever went up to heaven
I would fall right back down
That life wouldn't be living
Because you're the one I couldn't live without
I could live without money
And if every day was sunny
I could live without the rain
And if I ever went up to heaven
I would fall right back down
That life wouldn't be living
Because you're the one I couldn't live without. " I sing and I feel her squeeze my hand and she slowly open her eyes.
"I love that song, stop crying like a bitch" she says and slowly smile.
"I gotta tell you something stay awake" I say and she shakes her head slowly and smiles weakly. "Erin I love you"
"I love you too Chris" she whispers
"No I mean I'm in love with you" I say
"I'm in love with you too Christopher" she says and smiles and I got up and leaned down to her and wrapped my arms around her and kissed the crook of her neck and I sat on her bed and just held her like that til the nurse came back in and she was off.