Chapter 10
A/N: Hi guys. Sorry for the delay, there was a death in the family that needed my attention away from my daydreaming and brainstorming for St. Berry. I tried to make this longer than usual to make up for the lateness in posting this. Please review and let me know what you think. Much love.
To say Jesse had experienced difficulty in glee over the next few days would have won understatement of the year.
Having to idly stand by as the rest of the club laughed and joked with each other, the senior sat resentful of his deal with his girlfriend. Everything she did, the adorable facial expression she got whilst animatedly discussing the choreography with Mr. Schuester, the high notes she hit effortlessly, and every twirl of the criminally sexy skirts she perpetually wore, Jesse couldn't deny that it kind of got him all hot and bothered. He attributed this particular wanting of Rachel specifically to the fact that in glee he couldn't hold her close to him and tell her how beautiful she was. Sure he could do that anywhere else, basically at any other time, but seeing Finn looking at her like his heart was broken made Jesse furious and wanted to let the younger boy that he had filled the space in Rachel's life, and had no intention of letting her get away. But he respected Rachel's and his agreement and went through the motions for the short (but so long!) periods of time where he couldn't let the world know that he was with this amazing person.
But luckily, the next weeks passed in a blur. Rehearsals, dates with Rachel, and schoolwork occupied Jesse completely. His darling girlfriend was what he preferred to think about, but his teachers had all simultaneously decided to increase his workload by an obscene amount, and so more often than not weeknights found him on Rachel's floor, diligently completing his work as opposed to kissing her. Not that he didn't take frequent breaks specifically to that, but still.
With regionals coming up, she was a wreck. Paranoia about their competition, a group called Vocal Adrenaline drove her to throw herself completely into the routine with a conviction Mr. Schuester himself didn't even have. With Rachel obsessing over the steps, Mr. Schue found more time to perfect the vocals, and had decided that the second number needed to be run through in a different manner. The lead vocals had been split up between the whole group, and so while he and Rachel started and ended it, there were going to be three other couples (Santana and Puck, Quinn and Kurt, and Mercedes and Finn) who would come in and fill out the middle verses and choruses. Jesse wasn't happy about it, but he understood the teachers thinking. The way they would beat the opposing teams was by sticking out from the pack. And by having several entwining duets resoundingly covering one of the best loved songs of all time was a hell of a way to do it.
Rachel was of the same opinion, which Jesse knew due to the nervous habit she had picked up in which she was starting to manically repeat herself about the routine on their now daily drives home from practice. He was torn between thinking it was cute and being annoyed, but it was her way of handling the stress, away from her elliptical that was.
Apart from the secrecy they charaded in glee, they were absolutely thriving as a full fledged couple. They had their own little schedule (he picked up tea on Mondays and Wednesdays, she made it on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and they splurged and went to breakfast together early on Fridays before class), creating theme Friday night movie dates, and he was quickly becoming the darling of her fathers.
It had surprised him how they had accepted him into their little family, but an outsider would have sworn that they had been dating for years by the way her dads doted on him. A father figure (figures, in Rachel's dads cases) was something so new to Jesse, that he found himself even hanging out with them on saturdays when Rachel had her ballet classes. The three men had discovered they all had an affinity for poker, and so Rachel had more than once been dropped off to the sight of the most important guys in her life involved in intense games of Texas Hold 'Em and had been able to say hello, go over every single new motion she learned, eat lunch, go upstairs and shower, get completely ready just to come back downstairs to find them still going at it. It was humorous to her, and she realized why it was important for Jesse, so she let the boys have their fun as she flitted around giving support to each of them equally.
Things at Jesse's house had been worse since he had gotten home from his little trip. Where Rachel had been welcoming back in the best way, his parents actually seemed to be even worse than they had been before which was saying a LOT. When he came home that first night after visiting Rachel, he found his mother awake and making coffee, obviously just getting up. She had no fucking idea where his father was (like father like son he thought ironically) and so had chosen Jesse's sudden reappearance as the catalyst to begin yelling.
As he always had, Jesse stood there like a man and took it, giving his mother the respect she demanded but had not earned. Rachel, he learned appreciatively, had shown up at his house a few days before and given his mother a talking to, telling her that she didn't deserve him as a son. He had more reenforcement that he truly did love her, because she had remembered his darkest confession of feeling unworthy from the day they had practiced together for the glee duet that brought them together.
After his mother finished, he simply nodded at her, bade her good night, and went to bed thinking of his girl. After that, his father showed up a few days later and had taken to reiterating what his mother had said about that "short, loud girl" and how Jesse should not be talking about his home life to others. "bury those thoughts as soon as they arrive in your damn fool head!" he had yelled, but as they kept repeating their spiel, Jesse found himself drifting back to the varied conversations he had with the misters Berry about this very subject, and how they encouraged him to keep his head away from their poison thoughts. He found in Rachel not only a girlfriend he was crazy about, but also a set of parents that had taken to him more in the month he and Rachel had been dating than his biological parents had in 18 years.
It was needless to say that Jesse felt a sense of content in his present situation, and it was all due to the girl he went out on a limb for.
xxx
About a week before regionals, Mr. Schue was in front of the class during lecture period and drabbling on about keeping the rehearsal tight that day (stunningly, Finn had been messing up lately and this was Mr. Schue's way of telling him to get it together), Jesse's mind wandered to the last passing period he and Rachel had made use of nonverbally express their feelings by the stairwell in the Senior class wing. A smirk on his face at being so openly secretive of their relationship, Rachel blushed as she noticed him looking at her and realized what he was thinking about. He winked at her and let his his gaze drift, and with a slight start noticed Santana and Brittany staring at him.
Considering that his interaction with the cheerleaders had been next to nil, he was kind of creeped out. They were staring at him like he was a piece of meat. He instantly knew why girls complained about being hit on.
This was super, super uncomfortable.
Quickly averting his eyes to the teacher again, he tried very hard to be interested in what he was saying, but couldn't shake the feeling of the two pairs of eyes on him. It didn't help that he couldn't grab Rachel's hand as his demanding him to and flaunt that he was taken. And after the teacher had finished, Rachel darted out of her seat to go over some technicality or another. Jesse couldn't help but watch her go with wide eyes, semi-fearful of being left alone in the seats by the Cheerios. He wanted to call out to her to wait up, but he also didn't want to look like a needy "friend" in front of the rest of the club now making their way to the auditorium. So instead he got up and made to break to the restroom, but before he could, they had surrounded him.
"Hi" they said in unison, holding pinkys. He was ashamed to admit to himself that his heart rate jumped and he began to sweat. Jesse was a sweater. A rather intense sweater. And this was going to ruin his outfit dammit. Rachel liked this shirt.
"Hi" he returned nervously, the look of potential devouring still on their faces "Whats up?"
"We like how you sing the duet with Rachel" Santana began "except for her part, it's perfect." Jesse felt offended for his girlfriend. She matched his epicness with a brand of it all her own.
"I don't think you realize that you just insulted my-" Jesse had to stop himself from saying girlfriend. Not only would these two spread it faster than that Puckerman kid with an STD, but Rachel would kick his ass if he revealed it to someone in glee. Secret relationships are not as fun as they're made out to be "My best friend" he recovered quickly. "I would appreciate it if at the very least you respect her as co-captain of the club"
They just laughed at him and moved in closer, backing him up against the chair he had just vacated. His eyes flashed around looking for Rachel. Where the hell was she?
"Listen, Jesse, I'm going to have Brit here break it down for you." The Latina looked expectantly at her friend, who apparently was batting away a fly or invisible bird of some sort and had to be nudged to pay attention. "Oh... basically, we want to tap that." Brittany said, without an ounce of embarrassment. She glanced at Santana, apparently unsure if this was the correct thing to say. The Latina nodded.
They then got identical, expectant looks on their faces.
Jesse felt sweatier.
"Wow. Thanks but no thanks." he grimaced at them and side-stepped the two. But they weren't as easily shakable as he'd hoped, and they followed him out into the hall. Where was Rachel! He thought frantically, eyes swiveling back and forth. The girls were still following him, going on and on about their perfect record in requests and if he turned them down he would be breaking their stride and the world would just absolutely end...
"Listen" he said, unable to shake them and fed up with their mumbling. "I appreciate the offer and everything, but I'm in a relationship right now. So no thank you."
"It wouldn't have to be anything serious, maybe we could just, I don't know, make out under the stairwell or someplace else subtly out of the way of the normal route Finn takes to class..."
He turned without responding and continued walking with purpose. He knew Rachel was going to be pissed about letting that slip, but he had taken care to be as ambiguous as possible. The hallway thing... Oh shit. He thought anxiously They know. Considering how Brittany can't remember her own name and Santana has more than one boy on her radar at any given time, Jesse was confident that he was going to slip out of this with no problems. Now to find Rachel and tell her she isn't allowed to leave me alone in there anymore...
xxx
There were problems.
The next day as Jesse and Rachel entered the school (not even walking too closely, Rachel had insisted that they act as platonic as possible), it was like his first week at the school when he was interesting news to everyone as the new guy. Heads were turning, whispers were flying, and Jesse was smack in the middle of the most unwanted spotlight he'd ever faced in his life. Brittany and Santana, pissed about their perfect record being ruined by Jesse's "strange devotion to fidelity", had told everyone they knew (also known as the whole student body of William McKinley) that Jesse was fresh off the market. An uninvolved observer would have noticed that there was a definite increase in the number of winks and flirtatious activities toward the senior that hadn't been there the previous day. Jesse thought this was absurd, and Rachel found it infuriating.
She had taken the news that he had slipped up rather well, and had actually not been angry at him but more at the two Cheerios who she seemed to think had more knowledge of their relationship than they previously thought and she was convinced they were using this as just another way to bring misery to her. Jesse didn't say it to her face but he thought they really just were being skanky. Really, who else besides Santana and Brittany would actually go and proposition some guy they barely know strictly to keep a perfect hook up record? But Rachel was convinced otherwise and so she put a stop to all affectionate behavior on school property, including Jesse was upset to find, his car.
But her peace of mind was more important than his need to kiss her for five minutes before class, so he went with it uncomplaining. So when they walked in together and the whispers began, she looked back at him and rolled her eyes. She was used to that at least, and hopefully that is as bad as it would get. Then the flirting began.
He felt awful for her, and for himself. He was used to girls hitting on him, but this was out of control. And he was beginning to think that it wasn't just by chance. Most of the girls who came up to him had to think a moment between the initial hello and then his name. He was proved right in thinking that these ones were Brittany's friends when he saw most of them huddled in a circle around her later that day. He just hated what it was doing to Rachel.
He knew that she was insecure, and that all the shit Finn had put her through made her extra emotionally fragile, but not being able to reassure her at school was putting its toll on her. As the idiots paraded around him, he watched as she got steadily more flustered at first, and then by then glee period of that day she was legitimately angry.
Sitting in the back of the class next to her, he watched as Mr. Schuester got through an entire lecture without a single interruption from her, and seemed suspicious of it. He sidled his gaze to his left where Brittany and Santana both winked at him. Rolling his eyes, he made sure that Rach hadn't seen it. The last thing they needed a week before a competition was her losing her mind for no reason. And there absolutely was no reason she should be upset. Jesse had made it clear to her that his feelings were pretty solid (telling someone you loved them constituted as solid in his opinion), but he still understood how she felt. He would have probably hauled off and punched Finn in the face again if he had been caught by the senior looking at Rachel like she was a piece of meat.
So he sat there and listened diligently as Mr. Schuester rattled off his list and then let them chat for a few minutes while he went to go get the keys to the auditorium and the dressing room where their performance outfits were. This was going to be the first day of dress rehearsal, and New Directions were aflutter with excitement.
"You okay?" Jesse said in a low voice to Rachel. She hadn't said a word since she walked into the choir room, and the rest of the club were still giving her dirty looks. She nodded curtly, eyes on the cheerleaders across the room with Puck and Matt.
"I need to speak with Mr. Schuester. I'll be right back" she said, suddenly getting up and speeding after the director. Jesse sat there, confused about her abrupt disappearance and then decided to join in a conversation to avoid looking like he was lost. Kurt and Mercedes were holding court with Quinn and Tina, and Jesse walked over to them to hear them quickly cut off their conversation. He assumed that they had just been talking about him. Kurt's beet red face did little to quell his suspicions.
"So, Jesse, do tell about this relationship you're in" Quinn began, a challenging look in her eyes. Jesse had been right, they had been talking about his parting words to the Cheerios the other day. Crap.
"Yes, please inform us of the identity of this mystery person" Kurt said, raising his eyebrows suggestively at the senior who was still at a loss for words.
"I, uh, she's in California." he blurted out, heat rising from his collar to his face. "I met her at my old school in my old glee club."
"Oh really?" Mercedes asked dryly. Jesse nodded enthusiastically. "What's her name?"
"Her name? Why do you need to know her name? Isn't it enough to just believe me?" Jesse was switching tactics like he was bipolar. He was hoping that by going from agreeing to defensive in roughly ten seconds he could throw them off the scent and find Rachel. But that would make sense, and of course nothing that ever happens makes sense.
"Easy there cowboy" Kurt spluttered out, obviously falling for Jesse's plan. "We're all just curious to know more about the mystery girl who is keeping you away from all of us."
"I'm just curious to know if Rachel is aware of your little girlfriend." Finn came striding by with Puck, obviously pleased with the reaction his comment was evoking out of the original group. Jesse glowered at him.
"Mine and Rachel's relationship is between me and her. I know you enjoy messing with peoples lives Hudson, but I strongly suggest you back off this before I keep my last promise to you." Jesse could tell by the look on Finn's face that the threat to get his jaw wired shut and hook him up with Artie's wheelchair supplier was still fresh in his mind.
"But what about Rachel, Jesse?" Santana breathed at him, joining the old head cheerleader with Brittany at her side. "Shouldn't your best friend be made aware of the other woman in your life? I mean, its a big secret that could slip out in the hallways and stairwells of McKinley without you even knowing it..."
He locked eyes with the Latina. Her smirk was firmly in place. Her eyes were daring him. This has to come out his mind was racing. He knew that it was only a matter of time before Santana consciously or Brittany unconsciously let it "slip" that he and Rachel were dating. He had been careless, should have respected Rachel's wishes to be completely secretive at school. Idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot the words traipsed around his mind like vocal runs. The group was staring at him, waiting for a response. In the background, Puck and Finn were glowering at him. Brad the piano teacher rolled his eyes at the teenagers. Jesse was still sweating, unsure of what to do.
With perfect timing, Rachel Berry strode back into the room leading a very weary looking Mr. Schuester.
"-and also Mr. Schuester, I think that the costumes would look much better with rhinestones on them, I believe that a nice patter on the ties and the hair bands would give them a classier look" She finally noticed that the entire club was looking at her. She glanced at them, then at Jesse, and then again at them.
"Do you all really not like the idea of rhinestones?" she asked nervously. Jesse saw Kurt shaking his head at her to indicate he was fully behind the rhinestoning. Mercedes smacked his hand and he went back to his interrogation face. Then Finn's expression caught Jesse's eye and he saw red.
The sophomore was gazing at Rachel as if she were a beacon of light after a hurricane. Jesse watched him look her up and down as she was talking to the other members, her voice sounding like it was far away as Jesse's focus was completely on the other boy. Something in him snapped again, reminiscent of the day of the fight. He balled up his fists.
"We were just discussing Jesse's love life." Santana said, malice all over her face and drawing the senior's attention. Rachel knew she was loving this drama, whatever it was stemming from. "And if you knew about his girlfriend."
Rachel's eyes darted back to him, a mixed look on his features. She could almost hear him thinking and begging to just get it out in the open.
"I, well, that is his personal business and what he chooses to do on his own time outside of the club really does not concern us so why don't we go see the new costumes-"
Jesse made the executive decision. He knew she would be mad, but Finn's ogling of her had sent him past his snapping point. He didn't give a damn if it drove the younger boy to quit. They needed to be outed, and he was going to man up and do it.
Crossing the distance between them in a few long strides, he cupped her face, tilted his head down to meet hers, and captured her lips in a passionate, lingering kiss. Jesse's tongue danced around her lips, begging to tangle with hers, which she allowed a moment later. Her hands gripped his firm sides tightly as one of his flattened against the small of her back and hauled her small frame against his larger one. He felt rather than heard the slight moans coming from the back of her throat as his hand traced circles and their mouthes waged war on one another, demanding and gaining dominance and then losing it.
Pulling away moments before she felt like she was going to pass out, Rachel realized the several pairs of eyes on them from the rest of the club were still there. Instead of burrowing into his chest like she wanted to, Rachel took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
Everyone looked like they had all been hit by a truck. Mr. Schuester and Brad included.
Silence echoed cavernously around the music room, as all of them waited for the other to speak. Rachel subconsciously reached down to entwine her fingers with Jesse's, and he shot her a soft smile of encouragement as he felt her hand slip into his.
A wolf whistle came from Puck, while Matt and Mike high fived each other and burst out laughing. They seemed to be the catalyst for the rest of them, who all broke out in shouts of laughter and "I knew it!" Jesse looked baffled and a quick glance down at Rachel showed him that she felt the same. He saw at least ten dollars being passed to Puck from Artie, and a crisp twenty from Kurt to Mercedes, neither of whom had stopped exclaiming how they had been "calling it from Hello."
"Wait a second!" Rachel shrieked, bringing the room to another standstill with a noise that only bats would be able to hear if she went one decibel higher. "You were betting on us?"
"Damn straight Berry" Puck called from the back row "You're talking to a sex shark. I could smell the relationship in the waters from weeks ago." The room broke into interaction again and Mr. Schue shooed everyone to the auditorium for dress rehearsal. Jesse was thrilled to see Finn sulking by, refusing to look at them. He then glanced down at Rachel, waiting for the explosion. Strangely, she was the one who looked oddly at peace.
"You're not upset." It was more statement than question, and Rachel shook her head no.
"I'd rather us have come out with it than Santana spreading some filth making it seem much worse." She nudged his side with her hip as they started after the rest of the club "Even though you can apparently give her a run for her money in the inappropriate public displays of affection department."
Jesse blushed. "I just wanted to make sure they had no doubt it was legitimate."
"I don't think they can ever doubt that" she said with a laugh "They're going to have to hose you down. That was incredibly hot. We should ensure that we reexamine that particular set of skills sooner rather than later." She accented her words with a flick of her eyebrows and a suggestive smile that had the tinyist hint of a lower lip bite in it as she skipped ahead of him, twirling a bit in her sinfully short skirt.
Jesse absolutely adored his lack of self control in goading Finn.
xxx
The night before regionals, the entire team spent the evening together at Mr. Schuester's place, eating pizza and laughing about various things in rehearsals. Finn was there, but had yet to speak or smile, instead adopting the stony faced sullenness he wore after the incident in the choir room.
Brittany and Santana eyed the newly exposed couple, who were sitting together on the floor with Rachel wrapped in Jesse's tight embrace and in a lively conversation with Artie and Tina. There were no more secrets, nothing to hide behind a mask of platonic friendship, no more lies to spread. Jesse and Rachel were finally openly together, and the repercussions Rachel had feared were next to nil apart from Finn's little anti-outburst.
After they had left, they went back and sat on her porch like they had the first night they got together. It had become kind of their post-date routine, sitting together entwined on the steps and enjoying the stillness around them. Breaking into the revere, Jesse laughed slightly and Rachel twisted around to see what was causing it so unexpectedly.
"Whats so funny?"
"Nothing" he replied, running a hand gently over her cheek "I just never thought that on a night before a big competition I would be thinking about a girl as opposed to the performance." He winked at her and pulled her closer.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Rachel asked suddenly, shifting around in Jesse's embrace to look at him.
"As long as it's not 'I'm getting back with Finn and we're running away to get married', then yes." She smacked his chest lightly as he laughed and she settled back into his arms. She sat there for a moment more, and Jesse slightly panicked, thinking wait a second, is she actually thinking something like that? Oh shit-
"I'm actually somewhat nervous about tomorrow."
Jesse exhaled the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. That was infinitely better than any of the hundred or so break ups he was horrifyingly imagining her saying. "Why?" he questioned "You're going to make people cry with those pipes. You do Taylor Swift better than Taylor Swift does."
Rachel smiled from her position tucked under his chin. "I'm still kind of scared. The only reason I didn't feel this freaked out before sectionals is because I had no time to panic before going on. Everything we thought we were going to do got nixed and I had to belt Barbara on the fly. I didn't have time to contemplate and properly exercise my anxiety out."
"You're going to be flawless. This is just another chance for you to show everyone up. Except for me of course. That would be impossible." Jesse squeezed her and she giggled, a noise almost as perfect as the high notes she effortlessly hit every time she sang. "In all seriousness," he said, a solemn note in his voice "You doing anything less than perfect is not even a likelihood Rachel. Its an inevitability that you're going to outshine every single performer who dares step onto your stage. This is just the first time you get to reaffirm that."
Rachel took a shuddering breath and pulled away from Jesse to bestow the kind of smile that knocked the wind out of him, the kind that was exactly like the face she wore onstage when she was finally comfortable, doing the thing she was born to do. He traced his fingers along her face, down her neck, until they reached the small of her back where he entwined his hands and locked her in his embrace. "I hope you know that I'm honest with you. I believe in you Rach. The only thing I can't believe is that this is actually happening" he murmured into her hair, laying a kiss after his words "After wanting it for so long. You're like a dream, I swear to God I love you Rachel." She almost teared up at the emotion in his voice. His parents practically disowning him, the cross country move, all the drama with Finn, he had been through enough for two people. And yet still he opened himself up to her, and wanted her to be the one he finally let in.
"This is the realest thing in the world right now" she replied, her voice muffled by his chest, which her cheek rested on, her arms clinging to him as if her life depended on it. "You're amazing. How can you not think that I could want anything besides this? We're going to be magic tomorrow."
Despite her overconfident exterior, Rachel knew that she as well had trouble believing after their relationship of extreme hostility, awkward acknowledgment, extreme friendtamcy, and then almost never seeing him again that he was here for her. Rachel Berry finally got what she wanted, with no strings attached or reluctance.
As he noted the time and the fact that they had to be up early tomorrow for the bus ride, they stood as he put off walking to his Range Rover by swinging her around in his arms and singing Sinatra's "The Way You Look Tonight" as she half laughed, half demanded to be put back onto solid ground. He placed her gently onto the earth and took her hands in his. "I'll meet you at the bus tomorrow right?"
"Yes, my dads have decided a new Berry tradition is in order on competition days so they always drive me."
"Alright then." Grabbing her around the waist, Jesse smiled against her lips and proceeded to kiss her like he had in the choir room earlier that week. She responded as enthusiastically as she had then, and after a minute broke apart, panting with the intense lack of oxygen. She leaned her forehead against his, and shook her head.
"You always have to try and leave me breathless don't you?"
"Just making sure you have something to remember me by babe." He retorted, placing another chaste kiss against her lips before giving her a tight squeeze. "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow." He promised, reluctantly letting go of her and walking the few steps to his car door.
"You better punk. Can't pull off that intro all by myself." she called down to him
"Yes you can, but I'll be there to accent your performance. It'll make you sound better." She laughed at his retort and waved from her porch. He started his car and took off. She moved to go up the few steps when she heard tires squealing and an engine racing back to her house. By the time she'd looked around, he was already out of the car and almost to her.
"You okay?"
"I forgot to tell you I loved you. So, I love you." He pecked her on the lips, grinned, and bounded back across the lawn.
She smiled brightly at his quick wink and wave from his drivers side window, and turned into her house.
God, she thought she loved him too.