Six weeks – that's how long it took Zoe Hart to return to Bluebell this time. She had learned from past experience that keeping Brick updated on her return boded well for her – well, that and promising to be on call for the subsequent 6 weeks upon her return. A text from Lavon let her know that the carriage house was available again since Lynley had moved out. She was more than happy to return to her home. She had a late flight in and when she finally arrived at the plantation, night had fallen. Too tired to fully unpack, Zoe grabbed the pajamas from her carry-on bag and got ready for bed.
The next day at breakfast, Zoe made small talk with Lavon before finally asking what she had been wondering about all morning. "How's Wade? If he doesn't get here soon, he's gonna miss breakfast!" she tried to sound as casual as possible.
Lavon looked at her before looking back down at the pan of scrambled eggs he was cooking. "He's not coming to breakfast. We won't see him for a few weeks at least."
Zoe couldn't hide the surprise from her face. "Why? What do you mean? Where is he?" she knew how shrill her voice sounded but couldn't be bothered to care.
"He left," Lavon said. "Said he needed to get away for awhile."
Zoe's eyes went down to her plate. "Did he say where he was going?" she asked quietly.
"No, he wouldn't tell me where he was going. I'm not even sure if he knew exactly where he was going," Lavon replied.
"When did he leave?" Zoe asked.
"Two days ago. The day before you came back, actually."
"Oh," Zoe couldn't hide the sadness from her voice.
"Big Z, what's going on with you two? Everyone's wondering about –"
"I have to go," she interrupted Lavon as she hurried out of the house. She knew Lavon had questions but she needed to talk to Wade before she talked to anyone else.
Later that day, Zoe stopped in at the Rammer Jammer. "What are you doing here?" Lemon asked her coldly.
Not in the mood for pleasantries, Zoe got straight to the point. "Where's Wade? I have to talk to him."
"He's not here," Lemon replied. "He took some weeks off of work. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm really quite busy here" Lemon said in a dismissive tone as she stalked off away from Zoe. What was going on?! Zoe thought. Wade was nowhere to be found and no one seemed to know where he was…or maybe he didn't want to be found…not by her, at least.
Feeling despair settle over her, Zoe racked her brain for where Wade could have possibly gone. She thought of calling him but it didn't escape her notice that he was more than likely avoiding her and probably wouldn't answer her call. Besides, what she had to say to him, she wanted to say face to face, not over the phone or as a message left on voicemail.
Zoe was determined to find Wade, even if it meant interviewing all of Bluebell and the surrounding area for clues on where he might be. Meatball and Tansy weren't any help – neither one even knew that Wade had left town. In a last ditch effort for the day, she stopped by Earl's place. Luckily, she caught him early on in the night – he wasn't even buzzed yet. Wade had stopped by to check on Earl before he left. All Earl could tell her was that Wade had said he was going to spend a couple of weeks at a buddy's cabin. Zoe hoped against hope that it was the same cabin he had taken her to that one time when he had planned a romantic weekend getaway for them. Of course she had ruined their weekend by being too focused on work. She smiled sadly thinking of that memory. She didn't exactly remember how to get to the cabin but she was determined to find it. After spending a few more minutes visiting with Earl and listening to his latest stories (while trying to discreetly dump some of his whiskey down the sink), Zoe left and was on her way to search for the cabin.
It took her a couple of hours but she finally found the dirt turn-off that led to the cabin. She wasn't sure if it was a good or bad omen that it had started raining a few minutes before she found the dirt path that led to the cabin. She smiled sadly, the rain always made her think of Wade. The night of the heat wave that they had almost gotten together; the night they did finally get together; other nights cuddled in his arms as rainstorms raged outside his gatehouse. As she got closer to the cabin, she noticed the red muscle car out in front of it. Her heart pounded in her chest – she'd recognize that car anywhere – it was Wade's. She pulled her car up next to his and tried to steady her hands which were now slightly shaking. She took a deep breath, anxiety threatening to choke her.
She got out of the car and made her way slowly to the door of the cabin. Before she lost her courage, she knocked on the door quickly. He didn't hide his surprise at seeing her when he opened the door.
"Hi," she said nervously.
"Uh, hey there Doc" Wade responded. "Wha-what are you doing here?"
"I had to see you. No one knew where you were. Earl told me you were at a friend's cabin. I had a hunch you might be here." He didn't say anything. "It took me awhile to find this place."
There was more awkward silence in which they just stood in the doorway of the cabin. "Can I talk to you for a few minutes?" she asked, biting her lip nervously.
He looked at her for several long seconds and she thought he might refuse. After taking a deep breath, though, he opened the door wide and stepped aside, motioning for her to come in. He led her over to the sofa as he pulled up a chair and sat down. She noticed that he kept his distance.
"I'm back from New York," Zoe said. Wade just gave her a tight-lipped smile but didn't respond. "I stayed longer than expected….I had some things to think about."
Wade rubbed at his eyes, "Zoe, we don't have to do this. I hear you loud and clear and I came out here because I just needed some time on my own before I go back to Bluebell and live across the pond from you and Joel." Zoe gave Wade a confused look, but he wasn't even looking in her direction. "Actually, I'm looking for another place to live so there won't be any awkwardness. You can go back home, we don't have to have this talk, we're fine," he said hurriedly, avoiding her gaze. He got up from his chair and started moving towards the door to open it for her exit.
Before he made it that far, Zoe stopped him with her words. "Don't do that Wade! Don't shut me out and don't dismiss your feelings and act like they don't matter! That's part of what got us into this mess to begin with!" He kept his back to her but stopped mid-stride.
After several beats of silence, Wade spoke but kept his back turned to her. "Dash saw Joel at a jewelry store in Mobile and wrote a blog post about how you two were getting engaged over Christmas. There's nothing else to say, Zoe. Now, if you'll excuse me – "
Zoe jumped up from the sofa and walked towards him hurriedly. She interrupted him before he could continue, before he shut down completely. "I broke up with Joel. That night – the night of the Christmas party," Zoe spoke to Wade's back.
After several long seconds, Wade finally turned to look at her but his expression gave nothing away, "You still went to New York."
Zoe nodded her head. "I did. I took a different flight than him, though." Knowing that she had to be completely honest with Wade, she took a deep breath before she continued, "When I got to New York, he asked to meet up one day – I thought he wanted to talk…to get closure or whatever…but he did…propose." She saw Wade's shoulders tense, "He asked me to marry him and stay in New York with him," she said quietly. Wade turned towards the door again. "Wade," she said with slight panic in her voice, "I said no!"
He turned again to look at her. They stared at each other for several seconds. "Why?" he asked. She looked at him with a slightly confused look. "Why would he propose to you if you broke up with him?" he repeated his intense gaze fixed on her.
Zoe took a deep breath, nervously wringing her hands together. "The night of the Christmas party – when I broke up with him – I told him that I was confused about my future and that I needed to be alone for awhile. I told him it wasn't fair to him for us to be together when I had so many questions about my life, and that it would be better if we just ended things. I asked him to move back to New York…and I would stay in Bluebell…well, after I visited with my mom in New York for Christmas." Wade dropped his gaze, fixating on a spot on the ground by her feet. "I guess my vagueness made him think that I was freaking out about our relationship…he thought I wanted more of a commitment from him and that I would change my mind about the breakup if he proposed, but his proposal just felt so…wrong. There was no doubt in my mind that I had made the right decision. And I knew I had to tell him the truth…about us." Wade finally looked at her but he had a slightly puzzled look on his face. "About what I feel for you," she clarified.
Wade dropped his gaze to the ground again. "You were gone for a long time," he finally said after a long pause, a slightly accusatory tone to his voice.
"My mom has a friend who has a place in the Hamptons. She let me stay there for the majority of the time that I was gone. I needed time to think…this time without the distractions of my friends or a fancy job or a New York City life." Zoe took a deep breath, time to be completely honest about everything. "Last time I left, I know I told you that I thought about what you said to me, but in reality, I tried to stay as busy as possible and not think….because thinking about you – about what you said to me…hurt – it was like a physical pain that made my chest ache and made it hard to breathe. So, I tried to lock all of that away and not think about you…and I was ok for a little while." She looked down at her hands and realized she was still wringing them together nervously. She put her hands down by her sides and took another deep breath before continuing. "And then I met Joel, and being with him was easy and comfortable and suddenly my perfect picture and my perfect life were back in reach." He looked at her sadly but didn't say anything.
"Everything started falling apart though. It turned out that New York wasn't my perfect home anymore, and being a fancy New York doctor wasn't my perfect job either. So, I moved back…and Brick let me back into the practice and I had Joel by my side and for awhile I thought I was happy. I told myself I was happy." She could tell he was listening intently, but he still kept his distance and didn't interrupt her.
"But all of the feelings I had for you that I hadn't dealt with before started surfacing. I thought I could just ignore them and they would eventually go away. And I just tried even harder to make everything with Joel work." She bit her lower lip nervously before she continued, "But it'd be crazy of me not to notice that you're the first one I turn to when I have a problem or need help. You're also the first one I want to run to when I have good news to share because you always have an encouraging word for me…or you give me that smile that lights up your eyes and makes me feel like you're so proud of me. You've always been there for me Wade." Wade leaned his back against the wall and tipped his head back to rest against the wall as he looked down at Zoe, his arms crossed in front of his chest in a protective manner. "You're the only one that knows how to talk me off the ledge when I'm being crazy and unreasonable…which rarely happens," she tried to crack a lame joke and was rewarded by a small smile from Wade. "You hold me accountable for my crazy actions and screw-ups…you force me to be honest with myself and not hide behind some crazy delusion that I've thought up when my brain is going a million miles a minute. No one in this world knows me the way you do. You make me a better person," she said softly.
He remained silent, looking down at her with a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite place. Zoe again took a deep breath before she continued speaking, "My whole life, I've just been looking for someone that gets me – that understands me without me having to explain myself and then I told myself that I had to be practical because that person probably didn't exist. I mistakenly thought Joel was the closest thing to that person that I would ever find…but our relationship...was just all…wrong. I care about him, but I'm not in love with him. Because, I've known for awhile that he'll never know my thoughts or feelings, my mood, by just glancing at me…the way you always seem to know. He'll never make my heart race and my knees weak with his kisses…the way you do. He could never make a bad day better with just a hug, the way you always can." She took a deep breath before her next sentence, "And I'll never love him or anyone, the way I love you."
He was staring at her intently, looking like he wanted to say something, but keeping quiet. Realizing that he wasn't going to respond, Zoe decided to keep speaking – she wanted to get everything off her chest. Feeling her courage start to wane, Zoe knew she had to say one last thing before her courage completely left her. "You should know…you're a good guy Wade, you've always been. I've noticed how you've changed, and I really hope that means you believe in yourself…everyone else believes in you…I know I do." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I've been thinking a lot of that day…the day of Battle of the Bands…and I'm sorry about trying to change your band and pushing my ideas on you and not listening to you or respecting your thoughts and feelings – I got carried away," she said in a small voice. "I'm still upset over your lie about cheating on me, but I really hope that's something we can work through…if you would want us to be together," she mumbled the last part, suddenly unsure of herself, "because, if you want me…and even if you don't, I'm yours Wade."
They spent several long seconds looking at each other. When she realized he wasn't going to respond, she felt the sudden need to run for cover. "I just said a lot of things and I know you came here to get away from everything, so I'm going to go," she said motioning towards the door and taking a few steps towards it. "I won't bother you again but I just needed you to know all those things. I'm back on the plantation…if you need to talk…or whatever…I'll be at the carriage house." He stayed rooted to the same spot on the floor that he had been standing in for the last several minutes but his eyes followed her as she made her way to the door. She let herself out into the cool night air, the rain feeling refreshing on her face.
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