((AN: So I had to hold back last chapter in the author's note just because I was afraid I'd give it away but WOW that chapter was a little intense. I enjoyed writing it! FEELINGSSSSSYESSSSS... I'm so on a roll lately. Posted like 3 chapters in 3 days? Awww yeahhh son! This story is so fun to write uhuhuhu. :'3 I'll be quiet now. Read on! THANK YOU for reading everyone! Do people even read these?!))

"I-I like you a lot Rat…" I whispered to myself.

I never really noticed before how much he meant to me. I thought about him every day since I met him. I always wondered what he was doing. Rat made me sad, frustrated, happy and angry all at the same time. He made me feel deeply about someone. I hadn't even known him for very long, but I was hooked. I wanted to be around him, always. And I trusted him more than I trusted anyone else. He was my light in the darkness, literally and theoretically.

I think I love him… Or was that my 12 year old self just submitting to hormones?

I wiped my tears with my sleeve. But where was he now? I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. I shouldn't have said those things to him. I pushed myself up off the floor and dried my face with my sweater. I had to find him.

I sniffled one last time and walked towards the door. But something was different…

There was light shining under the door. I heard low mumbling coming from the other side. I pressed my ear to the door quietly, trying to catch all the words. I knew that voice. That was Rat's voice…

"... Can't pay rent…"

Can't pay rent? So he does live here. But why would he lie about being homeless? It doesn't make any sense. I adjusted myself, trying to listen without making any noise. The door felt really cold against my face.

"...Pay… Your body…"

I gasped. Was Rat playing Eve again? Was he making another transaction?

"What was that?" I heard another voice shout, loud and clear this time. I heard some struggling and shuffling of feet outside the door. I backed away, bracing myself if I had to run.

I heard the doorknob turn and I felt my legs shake.

The door opened and I felt a wave of relief wash over when I saw Rat's face.

"Shion, we need to go."

I nodded in response. He closed the door behind him quickly and turned the lock. He padded across the room and opened the window. He kicked the screen off and perched on the windowsill. Rat looked back at me, hope in his eyes. He extended his hand towards me.

"Follow me." He said it almost as if it were a question.

I grabbed his hand and assumed the same position as Rat. He grinned and nodded towards the outside world. "On three, okay?"
I returned the grin. "Okay."

"One…"

We heard yelling and banging on the door. The other man fiddled with the lock but Rat kept his eyes locked on mine.

"Two.."

I felt him grip my hand tighter as the noise from beyond the door intensified. The man screaming behind the door was cussing as loud as he could while kicking and punching the door.

"Three!" We both jumped in sync just as the door slammed open. I closed my eyes and held my breath. Luckily, we landed right in the middle of a garbage heap parked against the house. The entire time we were airborne, Rat never let go. Even afterward, he kept his grip.

"EEEEEEEEEEVE!" A deep obnoxious voice echoed above us.

"Run!" Rat instructed. He recovered fast from the fall. I could barely keep up! He sprinted, practically dragging me through the alleyway. He dodged trashcans and debri as if he'd done it a thousand times. But now that I think about it, I barely even know Rat. I don't know what hes been through or what he's done.

"Shion, stop thinking and move!" Rat tugged my hand and I decided to put all my energy into running instead of thinking. We ran through downtown and ended up near my house before Rat slowed. He sat down on the sidewalk and panted heavily. I sat next to him and tried to catch my breath. Then our eyes connected. I felt a spark between us.

Rat laughed, and it was by no means a fake or teasing laugh. It was a true laugh. At first I just stared at him, confused but his laughter made me smile. I couldn't help it and started laughing too. There we were, 5am sitting on a dirty sidewalk laughing so hard we couldn't compose ourselves. When we finally managed to calm down, Rat spoke.

"Whew… Some adventure, huh?"

His eyes twinkled in amusement. I smiled at his happiness. "Yeah. Real exciting."

He looked up at the sky, already starting to lighten. Was it really almost dawn?

"You should probably go home, Shion." He was right. Even though it was the weekend, I needed sleep.

"But where will you go…?"

Rat pondered this for a moment. "Dunno." He leaned back on his palms. "I'll find somewhere."

I frowned at that. "You gotta have somewhere to sleep… Why don't you just come home with me?"

"No." was the immediate response.

"But you didn't even think about it! You don't have anywhere to g-"

He glared at me and I stopped talking. I puffed out my cheeks angrily. He's so stubborn...

"Shion, you don't need to worry about me. You need to worry about yourself."

His eyes darted towards my arms. I looked down and saw my sweater sleeve ripped. It must've happened when we landed in that pile of garbage. My scars were exposed. I covered them with my other hand and stared at the sidewalk in shame.

"... I'm fine."

Rat shook his head. "Don't lie…"

I got quiet then. I didn't know how to respond. My cheeks turned pink. So he did care… Out of the corner of my eye I saw him stand and shove his hands in his pockets.

"... I've changed my mind."

I looked up at him. "About what?"

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "About what I said earlier… If you want… We could still hang out sometimes…"

Maybe I was just being hopeful but he looked embarrassed. I grinned widely and jumped to my feet. "Okay!" I said in a sing-song voice.

Suddenly, his voice changed to a serious tone. "Don't get the wrong idea, Shion. We can never be friends unless you give up those feelings."

My heart stung with every word. His eyes were unreadable. I felt another sinking feeling in my stomach, as if I was going to puke.

"... I understand." I gripped the hem of my sweater tightly. I bit back the tears. "I-I better go…"

I pushed past him and walked the block I had left before I'd see my house. I let tears escape silently as I trudged my way home. Maybe my feelings were just hormones…

I fell asleep the second my head hit the bed. I slept the whole day away, not wanting to wallow in my depression. My dreams distracted me from the blade. I was too ashamed to do anything else. Staying awake and looking at my scars would only make me feel more guilty.

That night (well in this case, day), and many more nights to come I dreamt of Rat.