Author's Note: Wow. Seriously. I know that there is no reason at all to get excited, but I'm totally stoked. 12 views. *crickets chirp* OH SHUT UP AND LET ME BE HAPPY. Haha, just kidding. But seriously, I got 6 views from the US of A, two from Canada, eh, 2 from France (*nibbles on croissant*), 1 from China (#gaokao), and 1 from Australia. (AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! You finish the rest.) My sincere thanks to those who viewed my chapter and did not run away screaming from apparent retinal scarring. I hope you enjoyed it, though, even if it was a rehash of the first several chapters of HP1. I will say here that the first chapter did have a few things, i.e. the Sorting Hat's song and conversation, which were word-for-word from the chapter in the actual book. My apologies to the esteemed Ms. Rowling. In no way do I own those words. Again, thanks to all my readers (who may have just clicked on my book by accident)!
Hogwarts was fantastic. Harry found out that magic contained more than just the quirky wand-waving and spell-muttering. His classes involved stargazing, plant studying, history, potion brewing, transfiguring, and charming. His teachers were just about as quirky as the stereotypical wizard (Professor Flitwick being strangely diminutive, and Professor McGonagall being quite stern and serious).
As a student, Harry didn't have much of a disadvantage. Even pureblood students had the same troubles he did with schoolwork; there was just so much to learn. Harry's first classes had been quite interesting; Charms was focused on different wand flourishes and useful cantrips; Transfiguration was quite difficult, even if the first lesson was how to turn a match into a needle; Defense Against the Dark Arts was a simple class based on minor hexes and jinxes; Herbology was a decent class, focused on the care on magical fungi and small plants; finally, there was Potions, which Harry had yet to have. It was taught by the secretive Professor Snape, and Harry was still quite apprehensive of him.
Unfortunately, he was scheduled for Double Potions the next day. Harry conversed with his roommates about Snape, and they all had heard different rumors.
"I heard he fawns over his Slytherin students," Seamus said. "He gives them all the credit."
"Yeah, I heard he hates Gryffindors. Him and McGonagall feud over the House and Quidditch Cup." Ron added.
"I heard he likes dancing around in a tutu when no one is around." Dean said with a straight face. Ron, Seamus, and Harry burst into laughter, and Dean grinned. He had been sitting on that joke for a while.
As the class drew nearer, Harry began to read his textbook. He might as well get a little bit of a head start. Nearly everything was a foreign concept: unicorn hair? Ashwinder eggs? Horned slugs? Harry rubbed his eyes blearily, then set the book down. Perhaps things would make more sense in the morning.
Fate did not please Harry. His first lesson was ghastly. Snape was a powerful presence, keeping the class silent with no effort. He lectured on the subtle art of potion making, then blasted Harry unfairly with advance Potions questions. Harry was dumbfounded; what the heck was a bezoar, anyways?
His first attempt at a Potion was mediocre at best. However, it was better than Neville's; after he was done with his potion, Neville had managed to melt Seamus' cauldron into a blob of twisted metal, leaking a searing hot potion onto the floor. Of course, Snape blamed Harry for not warning him, and this earned Gryffindor more and more points to be docked from their House total.
Furious, Harry tried talking his way out of it, but earned detention that night. "Should've kept your mouth shut, mate." Ron mumbled as Snape swept up the potion using a Vanishing Spell. Neville scurried up to the hospital wing, and Harry remained after class for his detention.
"Potter!" Snape snarled from his office.
"Yes, Professor?" Harry answered, careful not to aggravate him.
"Fetch me the ten vials on the top of the rack in the potions cabinet." Harry did so quickly, then brought them in to Snape. "Sit down." Harry sat, nervous and shaking very slightly. "Do you know what these are?" Snape said, a cold glint in his eyes. Harry shook his head. "My N.E.W.T. students brewed a batch of Felix Felicis, and these ten are the ones that did not turn out correctly. To give my students at least partial credit, I must test out the potions on a control group. Tonight you will be serving that purpose. I assure you, these will not be poisonous or harmful, but I cannot guarantee that they will produce comfortable effects."
Harry's mouth dropped open. "I'm your test monkey?!"
Snape sneered. "I wouldn't be so crude as to put it that way, but in a sense, yes." Harry's jaw worked for a moment, but then he clamped it shut. He had to push through it. Snape uncorked the first one, scribbled on a large piece of paper with various symbols on it, and nodded. Harry gulped down the vial, and waited for the worst. He didn't feel particularly different.
Snape smirked, then marked a box. Harry didn't see what the problem was. He looked at the paper…and at the ceiling…and at the walls…and at the floor…and pretty soon everywhere else. Horrified, Harry began to panic, but he couldn't do much with the eye that was growing on his tongue. When his skin began to disappear and flood with tears, Snape summoned a small phial, and enchanted the contents into Harry's mouth. Moments later, Harry's vision was once again binocular, but he suspected that there might be a few leftover tear ducts still in his armpits, as he could feel the stains sticking his arms to his robes. Snape's cold smile did not reach his eyes as they progressed.
None of the other effects gave him as much discomfort, but he did walk out of the Potions classroom feeling sore and flushed. Snape was reputed to be the harshest teacher, but Harry hadn't realized the scope of his madness. He could only hope his next lesson was easier.