Oookaaayyy… so I'm back (and so quickly might I add,) everyone!

Because I love the people who gave me reviews, especially raveanne, who comforted me despite of the few feedbacks I got, I came back with this chapter. Again, thank you raveanne and whitesoul89 for the wonderful feedback, and of course, the two guests who took their time to leave reviews as well. I hope I don't disappoint you guys with this chapter, which offers a bit of what Chihaya has been thinking. *winks*

I am seriously wondering what my own genre for this story is. I tagged it off as romance/humor, but the more I'm writing it, the more I realize it's becoming a romance/drama. Ugh. I guess I would have to change it sometime later. Taichi is just so full of angst that I had to write it this way, I guess, before I give him his happiness. Haha.

Okay so you'd probably kill me if I don't shut up and get on with it. Here it is!

III

Perhaps, it had been mere coincidence that she had been his childhood friend. Coincidence that she had lost contact with both of her friends during middle school, only to reunite with one of them during her first year of high school.

Coincidence? Can you call it a coincidence when you've already been separated from him and had been reunited with him, only to be separated from him again after two years?

Three years ago, on their third and final year of high school, Ayase Chihaya had managed to finally succeed Wakamiya Shinobu at being the strongest player of Karuta, -dethroning her as the Queen, as one calls the strongest female player of the mental sport,- after three long years of grueling practice and even more losses from Wakamiya. At the same time, Wataya Arata, grandson of the Eternal Master Wataya Hajime, had stolen the most coveted Meijin title from Suo Hisashi, sweeping cards from right under his nose effortlessly and crushing him with twenty cards in advantage. It had been a glorious, victorious night for the Mizusawa Karuta club, but had also been a night of incredible depression for one man.

Mashima Taichi, esteemed President of the Mizusawa Karuta club, had lost to Wataya Arata in the finals of the Eastern qualifiers for the Meijin challenger match, with only a two-card difference.

Chihaya could clearly remember everything that had happened, as though it had only been yesterday. She could see the ecstatic, audience of the finals, and feel the crawl on her skin as the intense, electrifying atmosphere that could only be provided by someone competing in a Queen Match surrounded her. She could see the perspiration trickling off Shinobu-chan's forehead as she hurriedly wiped it with a Snowmaru hand towel, and feel the erratic beating of her own heart as they leaned forward, foreheads nearly touching as their arms positioned for a swipe of the cards that were remaining on the field.

My connection with the cards is stronger than yours.

Chihaya had never doubted that feeling of Shinobu-chan's. Really, it had never crossed her mind that she had such strong connection with the cards that she had focused on her entire life. But she had never doubted her determination, and she had never lost sight of her goal. After all, she loved karuta more than anyone else did.

Was it because of that that she had failed to see that more than anything else, she was needed, by a friend?

A friend, who up until then, had been loyal to her, had been tolerant of her every whim, had helped her start a karuta club despite of her bullying him into it, and had always stood at her back, cheering her on when no one else was there to do so?

Chihaya had wondered a thousand times what it was that made her forget about him. Or maybe, she wondered how she, of all people, could do that to him. Had she been so focused on her goal that she had failed to see that he needed her, at the most important time of his life?

I was so focused on the goal that I didn't even notice that Kana-chan and Desktomu-kun were at their breaking point. I'm so sorry. As Captain, I ought to have known better.

Who was she kidding? She had been like this ever since High School. The only difference was that at that time, she was only starting out as a captain.

This time, she had hurt a person who had stood with her throughout everything, who had laughed and cried with her for many years, who had comforted her throughout the lowest points of her life.

Now that she had a chance to really think about it, she realized that she had, in fact, plainly and simply abandoned him.

And now, she was paying dearly for it.

I am a horrible friend. How can I expect him to forgive me? After all that I did?!

That was asking too much from him.

Chihaya stared out the window of the car that her cousin was driving, an asleep Chizuko lying on her lap and using her legs as her pillow. She was absent-mindedly stroking her hair, her eyes seeing into nothing as houses, stores and people flashed by.

"So… that is the Mashima Taichi that you've been talking about."

She turned to see her cousin looking at her through the rearview mirror, his bright green eyes looking at her somewhat guardedly and cautiously. Despite having matured a greater deal throughout the years, she had not lost that child-like wonder and innocence, which made her wonder why he was looking at her like that so seriously.

"Yes… that's him." She responded, careful not to speak too loud, lest she woke up Chizuko-chan. "He hadn't changed at all… He's still the same."

"Oh, he has changed alright. People change over the years, Chihaya-chan. Do not forget that." He said, turning his attention back into the road. He stepped on the gas as soon as the traffic light flashed green. "So… how do you feel?"

She took a deep breath and sighed. Her fingers tucked in a stray strand of Chizuko's hair behind her ear. "I'm fine as can be. I guessed right, didn't I? I told you he was there, at that hospital."

"He looks like he's an intern." Her cousin said, honking at a passersby that he had nearly hit because she was crossing the road in such a slow manner. "A rather good-looking one at that. No wonder that nurse who came from that direction looked flustered. Who knows, maybe he had been making out with her." He joked half-heartedly, trying to lighten up the mood of his cousin.

Making out?

Known for being incredibly airhead about these kinds of things, he was surprised when she turned red. From embarrassment or irritation, that, he didn't know. "He's not like that, Keiichi-nii. He isn't the type who plays around with girls like toys and discards them once he'd have his fun." She practically snapped at him.

"Simmer down before you get too pissed off." Keiichi said, cracking a smile and brushing off her irritation. "So now you know what 'making out' is? I'm surprised. That's Chihaya-chan for you. You're quite the quick learner aren't you?"

"Hang around a lot of girls who do nothing better with their time but talk about that, and let's see who wouldn't learn." She snapped, somehow getting seriously pissed. A feeling of discomfort was pricking through her chest, and she found herself feeling incredibly irritated. Even now, she wasn't good with emotions, and she wondered why she was starting to feel uncomfortable from the joke.

"Okay… Calm down." Keiichi could see a storm brewing on the horizon, and he didn't want to be standing too close to her once she snapped. He wondered idly how Mashima Taichi had managed to survive the three years of high school with her. Yes, his cousin had matured a greater deal, but he wondered how it had been before with her, when all that she had focused on had been karuta, and only karuta.

Any sane guy would have given up on her. But that man… even earlier, I knew he hadn't truly given up on her. That's what real love is. I could see it in his eyes. The hopelessness… that feeling that even when you wanted to give up and accept everything, you're still stuck with that. It isn't a wonder that he had ran away before… and still ran away from her now.

"What are you planning to do now?"

Chihaya's head snapped up at the question. She herself had been wondering the same thing. She knew better than to try and force herself to him when he had so adamantly pushed her away, but it didn't feel right to leave things the way they are.

She had left things the way they were before, and that had been the biggest mistake she had done in her entire life –even bigger than the time that she had ignored Kana-chan and Desktomu-kun when they had been on their breaking point. She had lost him. There was no use denying that it had been her fault when he had suddenly become distant little by little, until finally, he had just disappeared.

I should have been there for him. I should have comforted him when he needed it the most. But I was an idiot, and I only ever thought about our victory…

But the truth of the matter was, she had always been afraid of rejection. That is what she had found out about herself in their final year of high school. She was a monster when it came to karuta, but really, she wasn't good at handling relationships with people. Perhaps that was what's wrong with her really. She could be depended on when it came to everything related to karuta, but she was a complete basket case when it came to people.

It was the first time that Taichi had, in actuality, distanced himself from her, and she had thought nothing of it at first. Then she had been too caught up with the events of her own life -such as being caught in a panic trying to decide what to do in her future- to even notice it until the day of their graduation. By the time she did, it had been too late.

He was gone.

Arata had been the sole person who had managed to give her his support and comfort, though she had suspected, at one point, that Arata knew what was happening between the three of them more than she did, and understood it even better than she did. She had wanted to know, of course, and had wanted to understand, but since it was the first time that something like that had happened between her and Taichi, she had found herself reeling and backtracking.

It was a mistake that she had hesitated to ask what was wrong with him before, and had not ever tried talking to him. She was too surprised and caught unawares of his sudden distance that she got scared, -scared that if she tried talking to him, he would drive her away.

And because she had been afraid, their friendship had paid the price.

But she found him again. She had found him again. And she is not willing to lose him for the third time.

"He's pushing me away, Keiichi-nii." She finally said, voice low and sounding unsure, bending down to gaze at her adorable niece, who was still remarkably asleep. Children had the uncanny ability to fall asleep through everything, and she envied that. If she could escape reality for a few hours…

But no. She had escaped reality for far too long now.

Keiichi looked at her again through the rearview mirror, and sighed to himself. He had to go in to the library earlier because she hadn't come out, only to find her still staring at the closed door, eyes wide and tears continuing to course down on her cheeks. He knew how much it had hurt his cousin to lose one of her dearest friends, but he was willing to bet that the hurt went beyond, way beyond the hurt of losing a friend. He and Chitose had known this ever since Chihaya's high school years, but neither of them had been willing to point it out to her as they both knew she was not in the correct frame of mind at that time. "Well…" He finally began, trailing off to make sure she is listening, "Do you expect him to make it easier for you? That things would go back to the way it was when you left it? Of course not, Chi-chan. Things change; people change. Along with their goals and priorities in life."

Chihaya stared at him, meeting his eyes evenly through the rearview mirror. "I know. I'm not that stupid to think that things will go back to the way it was -at least, not immediately." She said, almost sounding helpless.

"Which brings us back to the question: what are you planning to do now?"

Chihaya's expression suddenly changed, the helplessness and fear replaced by sudden determination and conviction. Whatever it was that she realized had made her suddenly go back to the girl that she had always been: a fighter and a girl known to never have backed down. Keiichi was once again reminded of the girl who had become queen three years ago, and still is the reigning queen now to boot.

If he had to admit it to himself, his cousin was quite the woman, if you take away the airheaded side of hers.

"I have to talk to him," she responded, taking her eyes away from her cousin who had turned his attention back to the road, "I think… it's about time I find out what really happened years ago. I have to take responsibility for what had happened back then." She twirled her fingers together. "I… can't afford to lose him again, Keiichi-nii."

Keiichi nodded, then hid his grave expression. "And what will you do if he pushes you away again? I'm warning you already, Chi-chan," he trailed off, sounding quite worried for her, "This is not going to be easy for you. I hope you don't get yourself hurt in the process. He's been terribly depressed after all. The least that he could do would be to protect himself. It's a natural instinct."

"Then I suppose I would have to do what I am best at; being stubborn and hard-headed." She responded, unwilling to be daunted by the prospect of Taichi avoiding her. She had been afraid three years ago, and she refused to be intimidated with the mere fact that she hadn't changed from the girl who had never been great with handling relationships well. As she had said, she didn't want to lose him for the third time. She knew how it would break her if she didn't do something this time, not when Kami-sama seemed to have given her the chance to make things right with her childhood friend.

Keiichi had to smile. "I suppose I can't argue with you then?"

Chihaya smiled as well, one of those smiles of hers that never failed to brighten up any person's mood, be they angry or not. "No. I'll be fine Keiichi-nii. I have to do this. For my sake, and his. And Arata's." She sighed out. Now feeling much better at having decided a course of action, she felt her spirits lift up. "Don't worry about me. It's time for me to stop running and acting like a scared girl. That's not me at all, don't you think?"

"Now that I think about it, yes." Her cousin agreed readily.

She laughed softly, restraining herself as Chizuko was still asleep.

"But… are you sure about this?" Keiichi couldn't help but worry for her. He knew how his cousin always gave her hundred percent to everything she does, and thus, made the pain of failure twice as hard for her. "I… well, I just don't want a repeat performance of how you've been three years ago when he disappeared." He shuddered with the memory. If it wasn't for Arata, she still would have been the zombie-like girl who was there in front of them but never really there in mind.

Chihaya shivered as well, and he knew that they were both thinking the same thing. That man… it was he who had caused her to act like a complete undead for a few weeks after he had disappeared. He was madly mistaken if he thought she was just going to let everything go this time again without saying anything. "Yes I am. After all, I am the Queen. And a Queen never backs down from her decisions. She needs to take a card in the field before her opponent does with all the conviction she has, no matter how much it will hurt that person."

Keiichi sweat dropped. Leave it to her to turn it back to karuta. This girl is hopeless.

And yet, unlike Chitose, that is what he admired in her.

"Well then, I guess that means you've made up your mind." There's no stopping her. Everything is for real now. He crossed his fingers, hoping for the best. He was rooting for her after all. "Guess we can go home peacefully now."

"Nuh uh, not yet. Stop here for a moment." She said, smiling mischievously.

He raised an eyebrow. "What? Why?"

Chihaya giggled as he pulled the car to a stop on the curb in front of a shopping center. "Because it's sale with this mall today, and you know what that means, right?"

"What? Surplus?" Keiichi asked, not liking Chihaya's smile at all.

"Baka Keiichi-nii. No. It means I get to shop for Daddy bear merchandise!"

Keiichi nearly crashed with the steering wheel. This girl…

Is it a wonder that until now she doesn't have a boyfriend?!

But he had to smile as Chihaya carefully laid Chizuko-chan opposite her and excitedly left the car.

"Wait for me Keiichi-nii. I'll only be there in thirty minutes, okay? Bye love you!"

She never changes. And yet, he was hoping that she will be able reach out to Mashima-san.

Because it's just about time.

"I warned you already."

Taichi hid a flinch as he stared across to his companion who sat in front of him munching on a butabara, while placing another one on the grill situated at the center of their table. Despite of the years that had passed he was still pudgy, though he already had lost some weight. Taichi marveled at the fact before that despite of being quite 'porky' during their high school years, he had managed to play tennis at all, teasing aside.

"That's the closest you've ever been in saying 'I told you so,' Nishida." He grinned with more than a touch of wariness. He had been surprised with the sudden visit from one of his high school friends, the closest to him so far after all these years. Despite of the distance from their respective universities, Nishida managed to come over today to –more likely than not, - check on him. "How is everyone?"

He had been doing well so far after meeting her again, but he had to admit that he needed someone to talk to right now. Nishida, as always, had impeccable timing. As a result, they were in one of the famous yakiniku restaurants situated in the heart of Tokyo, a few blocks away from his university, eating their hearts out.

Well, for Nishida at least. He hadn't even managed to take a bite of his barbecue, having lost his entire appetite.

"Oh they're doing fine, as far as I have heard." His friend responded, referring to his former team. "Desktomu-kun has already passed the qualifying exams for law –he's confirmed to be taking his final year as Kana-chan told me. As for Kana-chan, she's about to take over their family business once she graduates from designing. Ayase… well, she already has a confirmed employer the moment she graduates. And guess who? Mizusawa of course. She's been confirmed for the teaching post once she graduates, -the empress has already signed her up for it. Pretty efficient of her, don't you think? As for Tsukuba-kun and Hanano-san… well, Tsukuba's doing well with architecture and Hanano-san's said to come home from New York next week."

Taichi had to wonder how he could speak straight while munching on a tontoro without a care in the world. If his mother saw his friend right now, she would have been horrified at his friend's lack of manners. But then again, he thought, he had always wondered what if felt like not caring for manners once and acting 'without a care in the world.'

Like a certain someone else.

There was no question that he was proud of his friends, -of his team. They haven't really talked back then what their plans are for college, only to find out a few weeks before graduation that they had all applied and been accepted to Tokyo University, or Todai, as the students had been calling it for years now, - which had to be one of the most prestigious universities in Tokyo. Komano Tsutomu had been accepted with full scholarship to the Faculty of Law, saying that he had really wanted to become a lawyer to 'help the other poor people defend themselves'. Taichi could remember chuckling at that one privately, thinking that Komano does have a passion for unexpected things.

Oe Kanade, meanwhile, had committed to enter the Faculty of Arts majoring in design, saying that she wanted to help their family promote their clothing line business, declaring that they should not neglect the beauty of their culture and that people should be paying more attention to formal wear, as it distinguishes what they- the Japanese- were made of, after all. He had agreed to that one, knowing Kana-chan's passion very well, and how it really suited her.

Nishida Yusei, -surprise, surprise,- had gone to Faculty of Practical Arts majoring in Culinary. He said that he was planning to open up his own business with his sister helping, and that he had wanted to do one of the things he loved- cooking. The guy, then and now, had been the sole connection he had back in childhood when he and Chihaya were just beginning to love karuta. Ironically, now he also is the sole connection he had between his friends and her.

Hanano Sumire, meanwhile, had gone over to New York in order to study business as well. The girl had actually confessed to him a few weeks before the Eastern qualifiers for the Meijin challenger match, to which he was not given the opportunity to decline, because she told him that all she needed was for him to know and that she was aware that he was in love with someone else. And that had been that. The next weeks it seemed that she had become someone else, because she had stopped being obsessed with love all of a sudden and took the role of teaching the first years who had decided to join the club, much to everyone's surprise.

Tsukuba Akihiro, Taichi was surprised to learn then, had taken up architecture in Meijin University. He always had the dream of being able to build structures that would last forever, saying that karuta is not so different from architecture, because he believed that while all sports had the chance of disappearing, karuta will not, as it had survived to this very day, and still is being played by them. Just like architecture, it will remain for long in this world, standing strong and unwithered by the passing years and days, he claimed.

But no one was able to surprise him more than Chihaya herself.

There had always been no clear goal for her outside of karuta, as her dream had only been really, -to become the Queen. He remembered the days she used to write the word 'Queen' itself on their career plan forms during their second year and the first quarter of their third year. He remembered, as his impeccable memory could, how she had agonized over the fact that she had no clear goal on what to do regarding her life outside of karuta. It wasn't that she was stupid, (though it had always been a running joke between them of her infamous titles of 'beauty in vain' and 'karuta baka', depending on whatever you wanted to call her,) but it made her… single-minded. He was aware how she lived her life only trusting her guts and first instinct. It had always been hard to believe that she could focus on some other thing while her eyes are only ever fixated into one objective.

But then, wonder of wonders, she had applied, and made it into Todai. That was while she had battled it out with Wakamiya Shinobu for the Queen title, and juggling studying for the college entrance exams. With Komano's help, she was able to get good grades for her cram school tests, and she was able to pass the entrance exams, entering the Faculty of Education, telling the team that she wanted to teach karuta to kids and share the joy she felt every time she played the sport.

She had always never ceased to amaze him. He had been proud of her, but had not chosen to say anything, because that was the time when he had made up his decision to drop out of her life completely.

As of now, he didn't know whether to regret it or not.

"And you?" he asked, hiding another flinch when Nishida mentioned her name earlier.

"What else? Once I graduated from culinary I'll be trying for one of the hotels here. It would pretty cool." Nishida replied, then turned suddenly grave. "But really, the question should be: what are you going to do now?"

He averted his gaze from his friend, looking down to his misuji without really seeing it. "Study for my qualifying exams. What else?" He quoted him, grinning wryly, but Nishida remained grave.

"I'm serious, Mashima. I know you're probably not in the best mood right now but really, if Ayase had already found out where you are, then be prepared. She's not going to let you slip away so easily again."

"You make it sound like she's some kind of criminal from CSI or something." He said amusedly, brushing his statement aside, not in the mood to worry and be even more depressed.

Nishida was not impressed. "Really, don't you think three years were more than enough? It's just about time for you to 'fess up, you know."

"I did not do anything wrong to confess something to her." He shot back matter-of-factly, narrowing his amber eyes at his friend.

"Except disappear off of the face of the earth for three years, without telling her ever why." He retorted, leveling his empty stick at Taichi. "Look, my friend. Don't you think it's time for you two to talk? It's been three freaking years already. It wouldn't do to keep her in the dark any longer. She deserves the right to at least know of what really happened years ago. Heck, you, of all people deserve to move on." Nishida said, in an almost pleading voice, lowering the empty stick of his tontoro down and opening his eyes to look at his friend darkly.

"Right on as always, are you?" Taichi commented, taking a half-hearted bite out of his misuji, which was a wonder how it had not melted even when he was staring at it since earlier.

The road to Nishida's understanding of his decision had not exactly been smooth and easy. The moment Taichi had found out that Chihaya was going to Todai after all, he had been adamant to drop his application to it. It was what actually influenced his decision to pursue a medical degree into also one of Tokyo's top universities: Waseda University, or Sodai as it was also famously known. At first they had been surprised with the idea, but as soon as it became apparent that he was doing it to avoid them and Chihaya, of all people, it led to a confrontation between him and Nishida, the both of them nearly at each other's throats. The club members had elected Nishida to be the one to talk to their mad President, which made sense since he was the only other one aside from him who can be level-headed when needed. As expected, everything spun out of control and nearly led to the club falling apart, but thanks to Kana-chan's quick thinking, who told them that it wasn't as if he would be throwing them away, the club was saved. She said that she understood that he needed space to gather his thoughts, and he had been forever grateful to her because of it. But of course, space meant that he would have to avoid them for a while.

The weeks had turned into years.

Dammit.

"Don't you think it's time to bury the hatchet? Ayase believes that she had lost you years ago because she hadn't been there when you needed her the most, when in fact, we all know that has not been the entire reason."

His eyes narrowed. "I'm not going out there to ask for her pity, Nishida. I thought we've already established that. So what if I lost to Arata due to some trivial matters years ago? It's not as if her knowing will change anything." He was beginning to be annoyed.

"Losing your hearing little by little is not a trivial matter, Mashima!" Nishida exclaimed, gritting his teeth, forgetting that they were in a restaurant. The people around them looked around in alarm.

"Enough." Taichi snapped, suddenly looking every bit the former Mizusawa karuta club's respected buchou again, effectively cutting any retort Nishida is about to make, the latter managing to only glare at him instead. As he met his eyes head-on, he realized his blunder. He sighed. "Sorry, Nishida. You don't deserve the receiving end of my temper. Look, man, I know you're just concerned and all, but… can we please just not talk about this now?" he asked, with more than a touch of exhaustion.

Nishida eyed him warily, then sighed. "I was just trying to help. Because I feel sorry for Ayase. I've been tolerating you for years now Mashima, because while I cannot sympathize, I can empathize with what happened. And really, aren't you tired?"

He was tired. More than tired, if he had to admit it to himself.

"Look, I… I'll think about it. Happy?" he speared a spare rib and without actually realizing it, just shoved it into his mouth. "Can we just eat? I'm starving." He asked evasively, not in the mood to argue with him.

Starving my ass, Nishida seethed inwardly, but he had no choice but to let him have his way now. He couldn't fool him when he was the one he had chosen to keep communications open with the past years, when he was the one who knew him the best out of their team, because, hell yeah, he was the one who stuck with him all throughout everything. He knew that Taichi knew this, but is deciding against his own wishes anyway.

Mashima Taichi's pride had always been something. Every one of them knew that this had always been the case since their high school days. But it was that same pride, Nishida had to admit, which led them to win their team matches, and what made him soldier on after losing an important match and deciding to leave the one girl he loved ever since, like, forever.

And that was the exact reason why he wanted the two of them to talk. Because he had never seen anyone like this man try so hard. It was making him tired, watching his friend suffer in silence all these years, while trying to live his life normally, watching the two of them dance around each other, always out of each other's reach. He thought it was about time someone knock some sense into that befuddled, brilliant brain of his.

And Ayase is the only one who can do it. Because if not, all would be lost.

Hurry up, Ayase. For your sakes, hurry up. He needs you.

I was nearly crying when I made this chapter. Because man, this file disappeared from the folder I was saving in, and I did not manage to create a back up file! Dang. I had to rewrite nearly everything. Ugh. I also originally planned this out to be a Chihaya chapter, but I felt that I should be able to at least, shed some light on the events. As a result, it got really long. I hope I did not bore you guys out.

Okay, so it seemed that there was more to what really had happened years ago. Honestly, Taichi is just a man full of secrets -and sometimes- unpleasant surprises. Hope Ayase is up to finding out what it really is, because man, even Nishida believes she was the only one who can reach into Mashima Taichi's closed and guarded heart.

Let me know what you think. See you next chapter, my lovely readers! Toodles!