Hello, folks. I have duly returned with this chapter.
Again, I would like to thank those people who left reviews. Someone, (a guest,) and of course, LauraNeat0. I truly appreciate the feedback I received from you, thank you very much.
Some of you may have found the fifth chapter a tad too depressing for your tastes, and somewhere along the way I also realized it may have been out of character for Chihaya to react like that as to Taichi's condition, and even more so for them to practically not be able to do anything regarding their friend's condition. I guess I have projected too much from leaving Chihaya helpless regarding his decision to hide it from her years ago, and I also may have projected too much from Taichi's image of never leaving himself vulnerable to other people because he was too busy building an impenetrable wall in front of himself, never showing his weakness. I was thinking, if I had a best friend like him, who deserved so much more in life, who was the leader that everyone look up to, leaving the impression that he could just about do anything, and I suddenly find out that he had something like that, that would depress me as well. I mean, he practically left it just like that, and he wasn't doing anything about it, and he chose to shoulder it alone. That would leave everyone at the mercy of his decision, and even leave them hanging in the air waiting for his next move.
And that was why he needed Chihaya to practically be his rock, his pillar of strength, to be his comfort that he didn't need to face everything alone this time and leave it as it is, the idiot that he was.
Ugh, but yes, the development may have been too stagnant. Or slow for that chapter. Guess I really needed more experience. ~sigh~
Ooookay. That was probably the longest author's note I made. I don't want to keep on making you listen to my rant. Haha. On to the chapter then!
VII
For the next days Taichi had become more visible in school, doing his best to advance some of his subjects before he begins his stay in the hospital. He was found in the library more often, usually flipping through pages of several, thick books. Ryuzaki-sensei had given strict orders of him not overworking himself, especially since he would be having surgery, and he knew he had to listen if he didn't want to push himself far over the edge.
Of course, him being found in the library caused more headache than the librarian could handle, what with all the admirers who could do nothing better with their time than just following him. So if not the library, he would escape to the rooftop instead.
And lately, he had been hanging out in the rooftop more often than he wanted to.
He had preferred to stay away from Chihaya for a few days, especially since he was still adjusting to the fact that she really, finally, is back in his life. It was hard to imagine that they would be together again, what with all his effort of hiding from her for several years, but there they were -together again. Just like old times.
He tried to distract himself from the thought that it was not just her who was back in his life, but also… well, Arata himself. Ever since they had 'that' talk, it was as if they had both let loose a chain of events from which there was already no turning back.
Now that he had a chance to think about it more thoroughly, however, he wondered if it hadn't been actually a spur-of-the-moment decision for him, since he had decided to give up on her years ago and he had agonized over that decision for days and weeks.
Damn, now that he really had a chance to analyze it, his decision to accept Arata's challenge may have been his pride talking. How was it that he had been able to accept it anyway without having to think about it a million times over? He had always been known as a look-before-you-leap type of person.
So what the hell changed?
Or maybe nothing had changed. Perhaps it was because he understood where Arata was coming from as well. As men, it was understandable for their part to have this so-called 'ego', which at times was more trouble than it was worth. Though he knew that both of them would never think of Chihaya as a contest, there was no denying that they are fighting for her.
Ironically though, neither between the two of them had dared to come close to her, since neither between them had even tried making what could be nothing short of advances for the past few days. As if having one thought, they both actually gave Chihaya some space. That was the funny part, since they had just practically accepted the fact that they were rivals, not just in karuta, but also for Chihaya.
He knew all of this because he had gotten the surprise of his life when he found her sitting without a care in the world in front of his unit's door, of all places, absent-mindedly doodling on a tile, her head bowed and her lips pushed out to a pout.
He nearly dropped all his books at the sight of her. "Chihaya!" he exclaimed, nearly having a heart attack when he found her there.
She lifted her head up, (having not noticed him coming at all,) and a million-megawatt smile bloomed on her face, her lips stretching out to a bright smile. "Okaeri, Taichi!"
Can't she ever act like a normal human at all? He asked despairingly to himself. "What are you doing, sitting there? Didn't Aunt Chieko ever tell you not to sit on the dirt?" He scolded, trying to ignore how his heart nearly leaped out of his chest at the smile that she had just bestowed him with.
She pouted cutely."Dirt? Doesn't even look like you have dirt here, you know." At the expression on his face, she sighed and relented. "I couldn't sit at the lobby. The guard's giving me a scary look."
"That's because you look scary." He said matter-of-factly. She glared at him. "It's a wonder you haven't been approached by security with you sitting outside my unit all this time." He got out his key card and swiped it at the card slot, as she moved aside to make way for him, the door clicking open easily once it recognized the access.
Chihaya rolled her eyes. "I do not look scary."
"Yes you do." He said exasperatedly. "What are you doing here anyway?" He asked, sounding being close to rude but still not quite.
"Arata's not contacting me for days now," she began, which made him sweat drop and feel as if she had just struck him with a knife, "And you're not mailing me as well. I was waiting for you to at least call me for days. I'm… thinking that you're avoiding me again…" she trailed off, suddenly reddening, her voice turning sad, making his heart twist in guilt. Then she looked up at him, shaking herself out of her stupor. "Anyway, 'kaachan made this for you. She told me to bring it to you today, you know." She responded, and it was only then that he noticed the box she was carrying in one hand. He stared at it, then to her.
So she had told her family that he was back. Hmm. Now that he had thought about it, he still hadn't made the effort to find out how they were doing. One of these days, he had to pay them a visit.
"You could have at least mailed me or given me some sort of warning that you're coming, Chihaya. You could have avoided sitting outside waiting all this time, you know." He said frustratedly, raising a hand and flicking her on the forehead, earning a squeal of defiance from her.
"If I had your number I would have done that already, Taichi. But you changed it when you disappeared three years ago, remember?" Chihaya reasoned out, and her eyes widened when she realized her slip.
He was staring at her, his eyes looking wary beyond the rimless glasses he was still wearing.
"S-Sorry!" She exclaimed, her expression changing into fear. "I-I didn't mean anything with what I just said, I swear! It's just that I haven't gotten your number yet and I-"
He cut her off by flicking her forehead again that she swatted his hand away, clutching her forehead and glaring at him. She hadn't changed at all. She was still the bumbling tomboy who speaks the first thing that came to her head, regardless of the consequences. He shook his head mentally.
It was so familiar that he couldn't help but sigh and just smile at her. "It's okay. I'll just give you my number later. For now, you have to come in. You're freezing already from sitting outside all this time, you idiot."
He allowed her to step inside first, and before he could react she got half of the books he was carrying from his arms. "Let me help you with that. You shouldn't be carrying these at all, you know."
"It's fine." Taichi felt something flutter in his stomach as she gave him another bright smile.
"Oh let's just go in. You'll be able to finally taste the carrot cake 'kaachan had made for you!"
And just like that, she had disappeared into the kitchen of his unit. He followed at a more leisurely pace, carefully removing his shoes and socks, all the while trying to ignore the fact that she was in his condo, and it was just the two of them.
Where is Arata when I needed him?
Not that he didn't want to be with her… but him being a man (who hadn't seen her for several freaking years) and her being a female and practically the girl he was head over heels for… well…
Goddammit. This is not the time to be thinking of that, you moron!
"Taichi, come here quick! You should place it in the fridge you know!"
He sighed as he dropped his books on one of the couches anyhow. "Have you even had dinner already? That's for dessert, you know."
"But I'm so excited to eat it now!" She called back, and he raised an eyebrow as he entered the kitchen finally.
"And I thought that is supposed to be for me?" he asked matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned on the door frame and fixing her with a penetrating amber gaze (or maybe it was a smoldering look?) -unknowingly making himself look every bit the tall and handsome man every girl would be prepared to swoon for.
Chihaya had raised her eyes to him to answer, but all thoughts disappeared from her head as she suddenly found herself tongue-tied as she met his gaze. She didn't know what made her go all tongue-tied, but she suddenly felt as if the room had gotten hot, even as they continued to stare at one another, practically doing nothing at all.
Why had the kitchen gotten warm, all of a sudden?
She was so absorbed in his gaze that she almost missed the fact that he had already stepped forward, but she couldn't look away from him, as if something had magnetized her gaze and kept it locked with his. He approached her slowly with light footsteps, as if he was following a silent beat, and she had to wonder why her heart beat in time to his steps.
He had already stopped in front of her, but still, their gazes were locked, both unable to look away. She could feel her heart starting to pound as he slowly, ever so slowly, leaned forward, and she hardly ever noticed how his arm raised to wrap around her, since she had turned to fully face him earlier, the counter behind her to answer him supposedly. She could feel his breath on her nose as the distance between them decreased little by little that she could practically count his long, thick set of eyelashes.
Why hadn't she ever noticed how good-looking he is?
She really had this problem of not noticing other people aside from herself, huh? Chihaya didn't know what to do –her thoughts were practically scattered in the wind, feeling her heart drumming in her chest already as she watched her wayward idiot for a best friend come ever so closer, their noses nearly touching.
And then, just as there was only an inch left, he stopped, still holding her gaze, unknowingly making her heart stutter in rhythm and her stomach flutter as if there were butterflies in it. She could feel her insides twisting as she could do nothing but swallow as her gaze unconsciously followed the curve of his nose bridge, before descending fully to those lips that looked as if it had been sculpted by an artist, so full and soft-looking they were.
She hadn't felt this before, -not once, not even when Arata had confessed to her. Yes, there is the unexplainable giddiness, but if she were to admit it to herself, this is the first time she had this kind of feeling, the first time she felt as if her heart wanted to beat itself out of her chest, the first time she felt as if her insides were tying and untying in a knot. In the back of her mind, she knew she had read something like this before, -in a romance novel if she had recalled correctly,- but she knew that she had never understood, because she had never felt it.
But now…
W-What… is this?
"Chihaya."
She blinked twice as Taichi's forehead creased, his face still inches from hers.
"Huh?"
He sighed all of a sudden. "Are you even going to move aside? We have to put the cake in the fridge, -and I'm taller than you."
She blanched. "What?"Really, Taichi?
Chihaya felt his arm move behind her and ever so carefully removed the box from the counter, lifting it above her head so as not to hit her. "No sharing." He teased lightheartedly, as he straightened up and away from her which immediately distracted her from the thoughts that were currently swirling in her head.
"What? Oh come on, Taichi! Share it with me! Pleeeease!" She pleaded, turning to look at him with those wide, puppy eyes that she knew he could never resist. Dammit. Chihaya had always known that he was weak when it came to that look, and he was actually surprised that she even remembered. "Pleeeeease, Taichi? Pretty please?" She had clutched onto his arm that his skin tingled the moment her skin came into contact with his, and he suddenly felt as if someone had splashed cold water over him.
"Alright, already! We'll be having it for dessert. Satisfied?" He asked, sounding more stern than he intended to all of a sudden as he swung his arm from her grip. Chihaya pouted and opened her mouth to probably complain but he cut her off. "No buts. Now be a good girl and go watch tv in the living room or something. I still have to cook dinner." In his mind, he was already running a mental list of the ingredients he will need and whether he had enough stock for two people left for a decent dinner. He glanced at her again. "You haven't had dinner yet, right?"
Her lips were still pushed out to a pout and her gaze was lowered to the floor, but she nodded. He started to wonder why she was still looking like that when he suddenly remembered that he may have sounded harsher than he actually intended from earlier. Mentally berating himself, he sighed and tried to soften his voice. "Do you want anything?" He asked, and her head snapped up, as if unable to believe that he was asking her.
"Me?" She returned the question back confusedly.
"No, the invisible person beside you. Of course you. I don't see anyone else here, you know, unless you can." Her eyes narrowed at him that he chuckled, unable to resist doing so with the expression on her face. He raised a hand and ruffled her hair again that she swatted his hand away. "I was just kidding. But you may want something. I'm running out of ideas already. Any suggestions? Something simple though, because I'm not sure if I have enough ingredients left."
He watched her sink in deep thought, and he couldn't help but be amazed. When it came to food, she thought about it so seriously that he knew she was really analyzing what she wanted. If only she does the same with emotions and people…
Whoa, boy. You're expecting too much from her when you can't even do anything yourself. How about trying to tell her how you feel, for once?
That was close. What happened earlier had been too close.
He himself honestly didn't know what had suddenly transpired between the two of them. One minute he was teasing, and the next… it felt as if someone else had taken over his body, and he was watching from the outside as he slowly approached her, like a hunter stalking his prey.
Oh wow. A hunter stalking his prey? What a metaphor to compare themselves with.
But seriously, he felt as if all the muscles in his body had stiffened and started burning, as if his skin had temporarily become a conductor of heat. He had recognized the feeling immediately, (thank goodness for that,) despite of the fact that it had been years when he had last felt it, and he had managed to stop himself in time. Otherwise, he didn't know how he would be able to deal with her running away from him.
It was desire. And not just any desire. It was a desire that a man felt for a woman, the desire to keep her in his arms and kiss her senseless until she could do nothing but call his name.
He shook his head mentally. This is why he didn't prefer to be alone with her. He could never trust his thoughts when he was around her. In the privacy of his home, of his mind, where she wouldn't see him, his expressions, he had allowed his thoughts to wander and to stray. But never when he was with her.
"I think…" she began, trailing off, sounding unsure, "I'd like some soba."
He nearly face-faulted in an anime-like crash on the floor. "Just soba?"
"You don't want soba?" She asked hesitantly. " I just… you know, thought something easier for you to do since you're not exactly allowed to tire yourself out… and it's nearing winter, so…"
His eyes softened upon hearing her explanation. This baka. "I was actually expecting something more complicated from you. I mean we're about to eat the cake and it doesn't exactly match with it…" he trailed off when he saw the flash of disappointment in her eyes even when she tried to hide it. "But if you really like that, then soba it is." He had no choice but to agree. He didn't want to see that look on her face, he didn't want to disappoint her. Even if it's just about soba.
Wow. The things a man in love can do. Dammit.
"Really?" Her auburn eyes lit up, like a sunrise in dawn. "Soba? Yay! Thanks, Taichi!"
He snorted as he turned to the fridge and opened it, placing the cake inside. "It's just soba, Chihaya. No need to be so grateful for-"
Taichi stiffened when she felt her wrap her arms around his waist from behind, and she tiptoed past his shoulder to give him a kiss on the cheek. All at once his body reacted to the touch of her lips as she gave him another of her bright smiles. "You're still cooking it for me, Taichi. I can't wait for dinner!" She sing-songed, unknowingly making his skin tingle and his body tremble.
Good Lord, how was he supposed to control himself if the girl he was in love with didn't have any idea about personal space and was too innocent to even be aware about something like that?
Mind over matter, Mashima! Mind over matter. You can do it. You have to.
It was at times like this that he cursed himself for being a man and a chicken at the same time. Imagine, if he had enough courage to tell her how he felt, he wouldn't have to suffer and control himself from just even touching her every time she was around.
And that is if she even felt the same way towards him.
He sucked in a deep breath to calm his racing heart. Just as he was about to complain with her hugging him so carelessly, she had already stepped back and he turned to face her, his eyes suddenly widening as he saw how red her cheeks were.
She's… blushing?
She fidgeted with her fingers as she tried to obviously control the reddening of her cheeks. His heart fluttered at the endearing sight as she shyly looked up at him. "I-I… er… I'll wait in the living room. P-Please make it delicious!" She exclaimed in a kid-like hope before turning in her heels and disappearing into the living room before he had a chance to respond.
What the heck was that all about?
She was blushing? Because of him? Was that even real?
Taichi knew there is only one person she had blushed and stuttered for –Arata. Whenever Arata called, or when she faced him, she could never look at him straight in the eyes. She practically tripped over her feet whenever she got a call from him, or stutter nervously when they were talking to each other.
But there she was, cheeks aflame, eyes shy and hesitant as she looked at him earlier. And as much as he wanted to hope, Taichi knew it was much too early to assume and conclude that she felt the same way for him.
After all, a lot of people had died because of assumption.
He wondered when he will ever be able to gather enough courage to tell her how he felt. Now that he thought about it, him being alone with her was the perfect opportunity to tell her how he felt. How many times will he be able to have this kind of moment, that he will be allowed to have her to himself all alone and make her listen to him without Arata or any of their friends around?
What, now? As in… now!?
No… he… he couldn't do that yet.
Taichi shook his head hard as he rolled up one of his sleeves and turned to face the stove. He wouldn't focus on it now. As Ryuzaki-sensei had said, there is a time for everything, and he didn't want to rush it.
Rush? He is practically in love with her his whole life. He had been dilly-dallying all throughout high school, going back and forth deciding whether he should tell her or not. When will be the right time?
Focus Taichi. Focus. He practically growled to himself. If he went on and on thinking about it, he wouldn't be able to cook, the one thing that he had always considered himself to never had failed at, -well, aside from studies, because he had always been too aware of his failure with relationships.
He sighed. Time to get to cooking.
An hour later, Chihaya was happily finishing her soba, slurping at the noodles and finally putting her cup down, crossing her hands and placing her chopsticks on top of it, exclaiming "Gochisousama!"
"Was it good?" He inquired, wiping his mouth with a napkin as she wiped hers anyhow without a care in the world. He watched carefully, noting how she was still the same tomboy who had never cared about her eating manners as she stretched out, leaning into the couch behind her, having decided to eat in his living room instead and use his coffee table as their temporary table.
The sight was endearing, even to him.
"Of course!" She responded happily, patting her stomach. "I mean, you've always had incredible talent for cooking. And besides…" she trailed off, her voice turning wistful all of a sudden, "this is the first time we ate together again, you know." She continued, her fingers tucking in a stray hair behind her ear, looking up to him with a wistful expression on her face.
He stared at her back. What she had said was true. After years of not seeing each other, there they were, eating together once again, sharing food and stories like they had done countless times before. He had to admit, he had missed this, eating across her and scolding her for her lack of manners every once in a while, the sound of her laugh at all the jokes he had told her, the way she would exclaim at how good a cook he is with each food she had tasted that he had decided to pack into his bento when he would come to school.
Taichi shook himself from the memories, turning instead to grin at her. "Well, thanks. But do you even have any space left there?" He gestured at her flat stomach teasingly. "We still have that cake, remember?"
Chihaya stared at him defiantly, straightening up her posture. "Why, of course! Do you honestly think I'm going to pass up this chance of tasting that cake 'kaachan made for you? Let's bring it on!" She exclaimed, laughing so giddily that he couldn't help but join in.
"Alright then."
He had brought out the cake and was preparing to slice it when Chihaya pointed out that they could use one plate for the slices, not wanting to add more to the pile of dishes that was waiting on the sink. He had flushed violently (which had gone unnoticed by Chihaya, thank god,) and had disagreed, telling her it was fine and that he could handle it, but she insisted that she didn't mind, and that he should be doing less work since today is practically his last day in school.
"Don't be such a stick in the mud! Come on, let's conserve the dishes needed to be washed. Just place it there like that… okay, that's fine!"
He sighed, as she practically whisked him back to the living room, suggesting a movie to watch as they ate the cake together. He tossed her his pack of dvds and couldn't help but shake his head at the utter amazement she expressed as he tossed her another one, and another one, and… another one.
"Wow! You have so many good movies! Uwah~~ Street Fighter in original! I've always wanted to buy this!" She went all starry-eyed as he prepped the stereo and dvd player he had, while waiting for her to choose the movie she wanted.
"What's stopping you from buying one?" he asked matter-of-factly as she turned to glare at him.
"Well, excuse me if I'm not as rich as you, bocchama." She stuck out her tongue at him. "It's much too pricey you know. As always all I can afford is the imitation. Poor me." She sighed, shaking her head, then she brightened up as if hit by a good thought all of a sudden. "Can I borrow it instead?" She asked hopefully, turning to look at him with that wide, puppy eyes.
Taichi blew out a deep breath and looked away from her, flushing again. "Forget it."
Her face fell.
He saw that, and as always, gave in. "You can have it, instead."
Chihaya's answering giggle had been more than enough to express her happiness. "Reaaaally? Really, Taichi? Yay!" she practically bounced in her seat as she laughed giddily. Then she stood up and rushed over to him, tackling him in a bear hug that he yelped as he lost his balance when she had thrown her arms around him. "Thank you, Taichi! Thank youuu!"
Taichi coughed as he couldn't help but laugh at her reaction. He had always known Chihaya to be a very enthusiastic girl, always getting excited even in the simplest, smallest things, so her reaction was something that he had expected. "Okay, okay… I get… the idea. Can't… breathe…" He coughed as she suddenly buried her face on his shoulder, and seconds later, he was startled to feel her shaking as he felt his shoulder getting wet. "Chihaya? What's wrong? Why are you suddenly crying? Did you accidentally hurt yourself?" He asked worriedly, his hands fluttering over her head in sudden worry as she sniffed heavily, her hands suddenly gripping his shirt's collar tightly as if her life depended on it.
"N-No." She assured him, her voice muffled through his shoulder as she started hiccupping once again. "Y-You just made me really h-happy."
"Chihaya-"
"And scared."
He stopped, his hand an inch from her shoulder, as he was about to push her off gently to be able to look at her more directly. "Why?" He asked softly, allowing her continue wrapping her arms around him as they both settled in that position practically on the floor.
"B-Because you'll be going to the hospital tomorrow already." She reasoned out, still sniffing. "A-And Ryuzaki-sensei will be performing t-the surgery procedure on you."
"And?" He prodded on, his hand settling on her hair instead to caress it softly as he tried to comfort her.
"And… you might… you might…" she trailed off, not seeming able to continue the sentence.
She didn't need to continue, because he already knew what she was about to say. He knew what she was worried about, and he would be lying if he said that he isn't feeling nervous at all for the next day. He was actually worried, -what if he really, totally lost his hearing?
Would he still be the same?
"Let me share a secret with you, Chihaya."
She lifted her head to look at him straight in the eyes.
"Actually… I'm scared too." He admitted, his voice turning low and quiet. Hesitant. Chihaya's heart twisted at the sound of his voice, so gentle and forlorn at the same time that she felt that she should at least do something for him. "I mean… it's scary. You know how it is. Even though I've decided to take it, I don't know what will happen…"
Chihaya stared at him as he adjusted her position so that she was practically sitting on his lap, her arms still around him as he looked down, not meeting her eyes. For him to admit that he was also scared… it was something that she found new. Mashima Taichi had never admitted being scared, or even nervous about something before. It was one of the reasons why their team, even though practically newbies, had survived. It was because of the fact that he had always stayed focused for them, because it was undeniable that everyone had to look up to someone in a team, -to someone who will filter their goals and encourage them to fight to the last. As he had been chosen to lead them, she had always known the pressure that had been placed on his shoulders, the expectations of people and outsiders that he will be a good leader, -that he should be the one prepared to fight for victory first while watching the backs of his members and pushing them to do their best while also concentrating on his own goal.
She had wondered then and until now, what would have happened had she been their president. Would she be as good a leader as him? Would she be able to lead them well, to stay as focused as he was for the team while also fighting for her own goal? To even place the others' goals first before her own?
She realized that it would have been terribly difficult for her. She remembered how she had panicked like a headless chicken before when she had been preparing for the challenger match with Shinobu while studying for her entrance exams. Just juggling those activities had been a nightmare for weeks. She didn't have the multitasking talent that Taichi had, come to think of it, and the ability to make tough decisions that may be agreed or disagreed upon by the whole team. She remembered the time that Taichi had to pull Sumire-chan out of the starting line up for the Tokyo regionals to replace her with Tsukuba despite of it being already agreed upon by the team. He had pointed out that Sumire-chan, who just had an argument with her mother then, was not exactly in the correct frame of mind for a match. Unsurprisingly, Sumire-chan felt offended, and that was the first time she had seen Sumire-chan argue and talk back to Taichi, which had resulted to him practically ordering her to cool down first by taking notes of their opponents advantages and making her ignore him for two whole days before deciding to finally apologize.
Chihaya's heart fluttered at the thought that now, Taichi was actually admitting that he was scared of what will happen to him as well. She had always thought that he is prideful, because he had always had this 'hero complex', a complex of which he was too busy putting up a strong and unshakable façade in front of him so as not to make others think of him as someone so easily shaken and intimidated. Weak, as he had said before.
She hugged him more tightly, leaning again on his chest as she tried to comfort him, rubbing soothing circles on his back, wiping her tears away anyhow as she did her best to let him know that she was there, now, and that he wasn't going to face this alone like he did years before. "Don't worry, Taichi. I'm sure everything will be fine."
He chuckled, sounding disbelieving. "And how do you even know that? Just a second ago you were crying."
Chihaya lifted her head again to glare at him, narrowing those auburn eyes he had missed looking at for the last three years that he had tried to stay away from her because of his condition.
"Because you're strong, Taichi." She said, in a voice with pure faith and conviction. "Because you just don't run away easily. Because you're done running from me, from yourself, from everyone."
She didn't know how much those words meant to him that it made him tear up, as embarrassing as it sounded. She gave a loud squeak as he wrapped an arm around her waist and gave a tug that she collapsed on top of him, making her straddle his waist as he straightened up from his sitting posture, burying his head on her neck. Her body's reaction surprised her –she felt all the hairs on her arms stand up, and an electric tingle shot past her neck down to her feet when she felt his lips touch the exposed skin of her shoulder.
"T-Taichi…?" She asked in a small voice, his hair tickling her neck a little as she slowly felt herself turning red at the intimacy of their position, but she couldn't deny that she felt so at home and comfortable within his arms, just like that. It also made her wonder, in the back of her mind, what she would feel if Arata held her like this…
What on earth are you thinking, Chihaya? Will you behave yourself?
"It's your fault, Chihaya." She heard him say, his voice muffled through her shoulder and sending goose bumps rising from her skin.
"W-What?" She stuttered out.
"I said it's your fault."
"Excuse me?"
He sighed, again his breath tickling her skin and sending another tingle down her body. "I don't want to hope anymore." He chuckled dryly. "I hid from you for three years because I know how you will react once you find out what's been happening to me."
"Yes, as you have explained before, you-"
"I know how you will want me to fight." He cut her off, not seeming to notice her intervention, and which also quieted her down. "I know how you're going to pester me into facing my situation. But I'm so tired of hoping, Chihaya. It was exhausting, watching other people get what they want when all this time I've worked so hard to get there."
She stayed quiet, not knowing what to respond to that.
"It was tiring, to hope for something, to wish for it so badly, and still be disappointed in the end." He continued his monologue, not seeming able to stem the flow of words coming from his mouth. He couldn't stop it, and he isn't willing to. He felt that it was about goddamn time to get this off his chest, because tomorrow will be all or nothing already for him. "I don't want to hope anymore, because I am tired. I have nothing left in me to give myself, nothing left to convince myself that everything will still be fine after suffering another loss. As I've told you already, I'm not so optimistic like you. Or Kana-chan."
He lifted his head up to look at her squarely in the eyes. He didn't know what had gotten into him, what made him say all these things and make up his mind in just a moment as she had her arms around him, but he was sick of still running away from his feelings. There was a limit to how long things should be kept to oneself, and his chest felt that it was ready to explode out of all the feelings that he had felt for her since damn day one. Somehow, the sanctuary of his home offered him courage, and he couldn't keep it to himself any longer. Tomorrow will or will not change his life. Somehow, that thought, his situation, had driven him over the edge and finally made him cliff-dive.
Arata had already faced her and his feelings head on, the honest man that he is. And Taichi knew that he was right.
That was being incredibly selfish of you, not telling her how you felt all this time.
You were always the coward, after all.
He was done from running away. He was done from being a coward and a sneak. He hadn't schemed to have her in his unit with just the two of them, so he wasn't being a cheat and a sneak (technically,) and hell if he let this one chance pass again. It was as if Chihaya's words had been the catalyst, as if it had been the trigger. And once she had pulled the plug, she didn't have any idea what she had just let loose on herself.
"I'm done from hoping too much and being disappointed over and over again. That's why I had chosen to run away and just curl up in a hole to hide." He continued, watching her continue to stare at him, her lips slightly opened, as if inviting him to press his own against. But not now. There will be time. "I was too scared to hope that everything will be okay, Chihaya, because nothing had gone my way even before. I hadn't always gotten what I wanted. And I'm tired of it.
"But now, here you were. Telling me that everything will be just fine. Because I'm strong. Because I can do it." He smiled at her fondly. "You don't know how much that meant to me." He took another deep breath before plunging on again. "For so long, I guess all I really needed was some faith. Which I had lost years ago. It was easier to just give everything up and walk away before because I had nothing left to lose, because I was no longer hoping for things to change. But I guess, not having anything to believe in took it's toll out of me. So now that I'm taking that surgery… now that I decided to face life one more time… I would hate to be disappointed again."
Chihaya listened attentively, and she was smiling once he finished. "Well, I'm glad that you still decided to take a chance, you know. As they say, as long as there is life, there is hope." She looked down to his hands shyly. "I-I meant what I've said, you know."
Taichi stared at her. His piece about his medical problem was done. There is only one more piece left that he had to tell her.
All or nothing.
"I have one more secret left to share to you." He said, his gaze turning serious.
Chihaya didn't know what made her heart pound in her chest all of a sudden with the look he was giving her, her fingers dropping the silver pendant that she was playing with which he was wearing around his neck. "W-What… is it?"
Why did she feel as if everything was about to change?
He lifted up her left hand that was still around his waist to his lips, laying a soft kiss on her knuckles that she blushed furiously, feeling herself tremble with the sudden sweet gesture he had just bestowed her.
May the best man win.
And as he looked at her eyes deeply, in their place which was practically on the floor, in that moment, Mashima Taichi threw away all his doubts and pinned all his hopes and wishes to the words he was about to say as he tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her earlobe and whispered in her ear:
"I'm in love with you, Chihaya. I always have, and I always will."
He promised Arata he will fight for her. And fight for her hard, he will.
Nothing like not being able to predict what will happen with his surgery to get him to finally move!
I am surprised with this one. I mean I also wasn't expecting for him to blurt it out like that to Chihaya, but who knew? Mashima Taichi is starting to be a little careless and spontaneous. I don't know if that was something good, since we all knew how much of an analyst he is. Just like a freaking girl. He should learn to be a little more go-with-the-flow kind of guy, who knew how to be a little careful and careless at the same time. Because with a girl like Chihaya, we all know that plans were usually rendered useless when it came to her, the unpredictable girl that she is. He should know that by now.
And, for this chapter, we get to glimpse the desire that Taichi feels for Chihaya. I'm excited at the fact that I may be writing a chapter showing this. Haha. I want to see how far he can go keeping those feelings to himself. *evil grin*
Yes it is not a challenge of the best man winning at this point, because he had a lot of things left to settle. But for him to start moving was already one major change don't you think?
So whaddya think? I'm waiting for your reaction. See you in the next chapter, my lovely readers! Ta ta!