Hullo, everyone!
My gosh! I am posting the ninth chapter. Wow. Have I really come a long way. From the time that I have been itching to publish this story, and now… haha. I still couldn't believe it! It's a dream come true.
Thanks to Pat, who after reading my story two hours after I updated it, came back to leave a review. To Gosia-Poland who had left a review for the seventh chapter but I hadn't seen it immediately! Haha. Thanks so much, guys. I hope you continue to enjoy this story.
I may be surprising everyone with this chapter since… really, I don't know what had gotten into me as well that I wrote it like this. I experimented a bit, and I hope it's something that you guys won't find… disturbing. I don't know if I should raise the rating to K+ though. Hahahaha.
Okay on to the chapter. You guys might kill me if I don't stop my rant. I hope you like it!
IX
Taichi didn't know what to do as he watched the two women he didn't know would meet and wouldn't have wanted to meet each other in the first place talk over donuts and coffee. Just a second ago the atmosphere felt tense, but now the two were chatting animatedly like they have been friends for a long time now.
Women are intriguing creatures, indeed.
They were exchanging stories of their high school lives, Chihaya explaining what karuta really is like. In all fairness to Ruka, she showed genuine interest and congratulated Chihaya for becoming the Queen, also expressing interest to learn how to play the sport. Chihaya invited her to the Shiranami society and told her she could come visit one of these days and watch them play.
"Haven't you watched Taichi play at all before, though?" Chihaya asked innocently, and he felt something stab at his gut. He was just there, sipping coffee and everything, occasionally speaking when prompted. He wanted to glare at her, but he couldn't do so. He was, after all, still in the middle of the two women who had nothing in common at all except maybe a connection to him.
Ruka laughed. "No, unfortunately, I haven't. Ta-kun here," she winked at him as she used the old pet name she had given him before, which had made his skin crawl admittedly, "has been too busy with studies and everything that he couldn't even take me to watch some of his matches before. After all, he's such a workaholic even when he was still in high school."
"That workaholic can hear you, you know." He intervened, but he and Chihaya were looking at each other. She just stuck out her tongue at him sideways as she turned to Ruka once again.
"That's unfortunate. You should have seen him do weird swings."
"What?" Ruka asked in surprise as Taichi glared at Chihaya for real now.
"I do not have weird swings."
"Yes you do!"
The conversation turned into a teasing match. Ruka was laughing hard, despite of the fact that Taichi had the strange urge to wring Chihaya's neck.
What the hell is this woman saying?
Chihaya had excused herself for the moment to go take a break in a washroom, and Taichi was left with Ruka.
Ruka leaned over to him with a smile on her pretty face. Taichi had to admit, Ruka didn't look much pretty before back in their high school days, heck, if compared to Chihaya she might even look plain, but now she had developed into a woman and had that air of gracefulness that admittedly, he had yet to see in Chihaya.
"She's… cautious around me."
Taichi looked up to her. "What?"
Ruka raised an eyebrow at him. "You heard me. She's friendly… but she was… I don't know, guarded." She fixed him with a steady gaze. "What are you doing?"
He looked at her questioningly, pretending not to know. "I'm not doing anything."
His response earned him a swat on the arm. "Ow! What is it with you women and your hands? You are so fond of physically harming men when you don't like the way we talk or when we do something that displeases you somehow." He complained, and she rolled her eyes.
"Because you are idiots, and you deserve a lasting reminder." She said matter-of-factly, but then jokingly nudged him. "You like her, don't you?"
He blanched. This was so not the topic that he would like to talk with an ex-girlfriend. Far from it, for Christ's sake. "Ruka-"
She raised her hands up in surrender. "I know what you're about to say, -I've got nothing to do with it. But really, Taichi, I can't help but notice the way you act when you're around her. You look… I don't know, lighter. As opposed to when we were together you know."
He sighed in defeat. "That obvious, huh? Man, am I that easy to read?"
She giggled. "No. It's just that I've always known how to read you. Even back then." She looked at him with appraising eyes, then laughed. "Oh, you don't just like her. You're in love with her, aren't you?"
That made his cheeks color. Argh, women. They can be such mind readers sometimes! This is why he didn't prefer hanging around girls like Oe-san and Hanano-san before. Women could be so sensitive.
And annoyingly accurate too.
"Yeah well… so." He muttered a bit uncomprehendingly as he met Ruka's eyes.
Ruka stared at him. "Well, I hope you've made your move. You can be such an easy mark at times, you know." She stirred her coffee carefully, missing the glare he had just given her. "Good news is, I think you actually have a chance."
"You don't know that."
"Oh I actually do." She countered, giggling at him. "You're still the same old Mashima Taichi I've known- and fallen in love with, before- aren't you? You never liked hoping too much."
"She's different, despite of the fact I knew her since childhood, I can wholeheartedly admit that even I can't understand her that well." He leaned back, looking up to the ceiling as he did so. "I've told her about my feelings yes, but that doesn't mean she may or may not be in love with someone else. I've given her space and time to think about it, but really, I'm… not all that positive that she feels the same way for me."
"I already told you that she does."
"You only just met her ten minutes ago, Ruka."
"Have a little more faith in me will you?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "You know what, that has always been your problem you know. You're afraid to trust women."
"You know that's not true. I wouldn't have asked you out if that's the case."
"Maybe, maybe not. You asked me out because I asked you to go out with me, remember?" She teased. "But the point is, believe me when I tell you that she does have feelings for you as well. I could see it in her eyes, Taichi. Why else would she put up her guard in front of me?"
"You've lost me there." He said, sipping his coffee. Somehow, he shivered at the taste of the pure black he had gotten from the vendo. It made him itch to prepare his own coffee. Hey, it tasted a lot better than this.
"Oh come on. I know you understand what I'm saying." Ruka insisted good-naturedly, determined to make her pep talk work. It felt a lot like it right now. "Ayase-san may be different, but she's still a girl, like me, Taichi. And I know how it feels to meet an ex of the man I like, you know."
"Enough to make her cautious huh."
"The thing is, just because you told her about your feelings doesn't mean you'll leave her alone to decide." Ruka said seriously. 'I'm not telling you to go around and pester her, but try and make her feel that she's special to you. Believe me, it works. And it'll greatly help us decide whether we like you at all or not, you know."
Taichi couldn't help but chuckle. "And you're telling me this, why?"
"Well, I'm getting tired of seeing you doing nothing at all. You should learn to be a bit more aggressive."
"You do not mean that, woman." He retorted indignantly.
Ruka laughed. "I actually do, Taichi. Sorry." She gave him a peace sign. "I'm kinda jealous, though. For you to have loved her even when you were kids… that was just… romantic."
"More like hopeless."
"So then that meant that even when we were together, you were actually in love with someone else. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel about that now. It just meant that my instincts had been right." Ruka said thoughtfully that Taichi felt a bit defensive.
"I did love you, Ruka."
"Not in that way, Taichi, and we both know that now." Ruka said, giving him a gentle squeeze on his left hand. "I'm not hurt by it. Don't worry too much." She was still looking at him thoughtfully. "You thought before that I broke things off with you because karuta has been taking up too much of your time, right? But honestly, Taichi, I broke up with you because I could feel that you… your heart weren't in it, you know."
He stared at her. "What?"
"It just felt like you were there because… you felt the need to be there. For me." She elaborated, and Taichi's face drained off it's color once again. "For a while that worked, but then I realized that… well, that's not enough for me. I need you to be there because you wanted to, not just because you felt that you had to be there, Taichi."
He couldn't believe what he was hearing, -heck, he didn't even know how to react to it, but he could understand what she was getting on to. "And I'm only hearing about this now because…?"
"Well we haven't exactly broken up in amiable terms, you know?" Ruka chuckled. "And I guess I've been too prideful to admit that even over the phone that time. That was my ego talking, back then." She swatted him on his arm again but more playfully this time. "But all I know Taichi, is that if you really love Ayase-san… then do something. You have to make her see that you're serious about her." She gripped his hand and gave a gentle squeeze. "Women wanted to see that in all men who had just told her that he's head-over-heels for her."
Taichi couldn't help but let out a snort as he squeezed her hand back in thanks. "Why has it taken us five years to have this conversation?"
Ruka laughed as she finished her donut. "I know right? But I really wish the best for you, Ta-kun." She joked that he coughed into his donut as well.
"You know I haven't really liked that nickname you've decided to give me before."
"You do realize you've just hurt my feelings, don't you?"
"Oh sorry. But it's true you know?"
It was almost two in the afternoon when Ruka had excused herself to finally be on her way. She had winked at Taichi and wished him good luck when Chihaya had turned her back on them for a minute and they both saw her out. She waved enthusiastically before getting into her car.
And left them alone with each other.
And so there they were, back in his hospital room, watching a television show which he wasn't even sure if they were both watching avidly, -if they even knew what the show is all about.
It was calm, but just like the calm before when they had first argued after so many years, this one felt very akin to a calm before the storm.
Chihaya was unusually quiet as she peeled apples off for him. He had declined earlier since he can do it himself, but she said she wanted to keep her hands busy, and he felt that he should let her do it, -there was something so intense in her tone earlier when she told him so. Taichi didn't know what to say or if he should even ask her what the problem is, but there was something… different with the way she held her mouth closed, as if stopping herself from saying something she would regret.
The silence is killing him, making him feel jittery. Chihaya had always been weird, but even now he had to admit that this behavior is first, even for her.
"Is there any problem?" He gave up after ten more minutes of agonizing silence. He couldn't help it, -for him not to see her for so many days felt terrible already for his part, but for her to show up again after many days and not talk to him at all felt utter torture.
Her head snapped up to look at him, her auburn eyes boring into his amber ones. "What? No. Nothing's wrong. Why?"
"You're not talking to me at all, you know. If you're not yet ready to see me then you don't have to force yourself to visit." He said as gently as he could, even when his fists unconsciously clenched at how painful that statement was.
I really am such a masochist. Dammit.
"Why would I not be ready to see you? I wanted to visit, I'm not forcing myself to do so." She sounded exasperated as she continued peeling apples off.
He then stretched out from his sitting position on his bed and plucked a slice from the bowl that their fingers bumped into each other's. He saw her flinch at the contact, and blood rushed to her cheeks to cover it into a rosy blush. He had to use all his remaining self-control not to brush his knuckles gently along those cheeks, good Lord, he missed her so much already that he wanted to really just… wrap her in his arms and not let her go.
Don't think about that now, dammit.
"You're doing it again." He said instead frustratedly.
"Doing what?" She sounded exasperated as well.
"Keeping quiet. For Christ's sake Chihaya, I've already heard too much silence in the past few days. Won't you at least talk to me since you're here and all?" He sounded as if he was already begging.
Chihaya stared at him, her dark eyes boring into his again. And then… as if hit by a sudden thought, she smiled, -in a way that made Taichi feel that there is something different with her.
"I was actually thinking about you and Kasanagi-san." She said, which nearly made Taichi spit out his slice of apple. He looked at her with wide, amber eyes.
Me and Ruka? What?
"Why… are you thinking about us? And us? There's no us anymore, you know." Keep it cool, Taichi. Don't panic. Though he honestly didn't know what was going on now.
"I know that." She turned back to her task, sounding casual, though inside she was anything but. Why is it that she couldn't stop her mouth? Or rather, why is she even asking about this?
Was she scared?
If so, of what?
"I didn't realize you two were on good speaking terms." She teased lightly, managing to smile. Taichi's cheeks colored a little, and despite of the air conditioner, he didn't know why he suddenly felt warm.
"Uh… yeah. I didn't think so too." He rubbed the back of his neck, lowering his gaze to the ground. Chihaya was making him uncomfortable with the sudden topic. What made her bring it all up anyway?
"Really?" Chihaya asked, still smiling innocently, which made shivers run down his spine. How was it that a smiling face could be so reminiscent of a scowl? "You… seem kinda sweet."
"I'm not sure if that's sweet. I guess we're good friends." Taichi snorted, trying to keep calm, to keep his wits about him. Whatever that had gotten into her, he should just treat it as something that a normal Chihaya would say. "Though I wouldn't have expected it of her. You do remember how we broke up."
Even if it seemed that it was so out of character of her to be talking about something like this, of all things she could think of asking, -he knew he shouldn't make too big a deal out of it.
But it's disturbing!
"Yes, yes. You surprised all of us. You always seemed to be a little too blunt for your own good. " She waved a hand airily, then suddenly inched closer to him. "Now that I think about it though, I haven't really asked you back then how you two actually met." She wiggled her eyebrows knowingly at him.
The warning bells started ringing in the back of his mind, and he moved a space back. He looked at Chihaya with narrowed amber eyes. "No."
"No?"
"I'm not going to tell you anything about that, Chihaya."
Chihaya stared him down, meeting his suddenly stern gaze head-on, pouting all the while. "Well, why not, then?"
Taichi returned her stare with an even gaze. "Because it's all a part of the past now. Why bother bringing up something that will do you no good?"
She raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't find anything wrong about wanting to know how my best friend actually met his ex-girlfriend, you know. Unless you just don't want to tell me anything that you just want to keep to yourself."
That hit a nerve. He felt his temper spike but he did his best to remain calm. He took deep breaths, clenched his fists together and narrowed his eyes minutely again at her. "Care to tell me what is that supposed to mean?" He said through gritted teeth, wanting to get to the bottom of her strange and mystifying behavior.
Why did it feel so much as if she was investigating?
She still had her eyebrows raised at him, a disapproving expression on her face. "I don't seem to get your reason for suddenly acting all defensive at such a simple question."
"Asking about other people's past relationships is not that simple, Chihaya."
"So is there a need to act like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you're too busy protecting yourself from something." She responded matter-of-factly, lowering her gaze to peel off what seemed to be the fourth apple already, sounding sterner than she meant to.
He stared her down, unsure where all this insistence is coming from. "Is it wrong to just leave it in the past altogether?"
"Exactly. If it's all in the past now then you should be able to actually talk about it now, right?"
"You don't know what you're talking about, Chihaya." He was starting to get seriously irritated. What is all this sudden determination to find out the story behind his and Ruka's past relationship?
Emphasis on the word past.
And where was that determination coming from anyway?
"Oh don't I?" She asked in a challenging voice, raising her head to look at him straight in the eyes. "I may be a karuta baka, Taichi, but I'm not exactly blind to practically everything. If it's nothing for you already then there should be no problem talking about it."
He was beginning to be exasperated. "I didn't realize my past relationship would matter so much to you." He hedged, trying to understand what was making her say all of these things. Somehow, hearing her lecture him about his relationship before felt like a punch in the gut.
"I surprise people like that. I thought you would have moved on already."
"I have moved on already, Chihaya. For crying out loud, I've been seeing her as a friend for the past five years now. Hell, I broke up with her over the phone."
"And you're still not bothering to tell me how you actually met each other."
He felt the blood rush into his head. "Why all the sudden interest in my love life, Chihaya? Or rather, the lack of it?" He demanded, and it was then that Chihaya looked at him with sudden fierceness in her eyes that he nearly jumped a space back.
"You want to know why? Because I wanted to know the kind of man my best friend is who just told me that he loved me a week ago." She said bluntly, in a straight, no-turning-back tone, furiously willing herself not to blush.
That brought him up short. So, she had been thinking about it. He didn't know how he was supposed to feel about that. Glad, he supposed, but that also meant that she had been thinking of Arata as well.
Taichi realized that not responding, -and acting all defensive to her simple request had been sending anxious signals for her. He sighed and rubbed his temples. "What do you want to hear?" He had no choice but to back down and let her have her way.
"How you met each other, Taichi." She reminded him in a matter-of-fact tone, suddenly turning all smiles again.
Biting the bullet, he took a deep breath. "…Right. So I met her during the final year of my middle school."
"Mmmhhmm."
"We were both part of the group assigned to clean the classroom at closing time. She was freaking out then as well, because she had lost a ring. Turns out it had belonged to her grandmother who had passed away and had given it to her as a family heirloom."
She felt sorry for Ruka. "Go on."
"Since I'm a classmate, I helped her find the ring. But it was already nearing the time for the gates to be locked, and we still couldn't find it. She was ready to cry." He was gauging her expression carefully, looking for any signs of displeasure. To his relief, there is none. "Then I remembered to search the trash bin out in the back. And there it was."
"And…?" She prompted, knowing there is more to the story but he still felt unwilling to share.
He sighed, and decided to ride this train wreck to the end of the tracks. "She was so happy she threw her arms around me and kissed me. Hard. On the mouth." He averted his gaze from her, trying very hard not to relive that memory again. Imagine his surprise and terror when a girl he barely knew just about stole his first kiss. "She asked me if ever I would consider going out with her… and then I asked her if she would go out with me."
Chihaya's eyes widened at the unexpected statement, and she felt the blood rush to her head. She had to contain the uncomfortable feeling of –yes, she realized what it is now,- jealousy.
Irritation.
She felt possessive all of a sudden that tears pricked her unconsciously behind her eyelids. "So how come I'm only hearing all this juiciness now?" She asked with more sharpness that Taichi flinched.
"Well you haven't been exactly interested with these kinds of things, Chihaya, and you never seemed to have cared about anything more than karuta and Arata back in high school." He couldn't help but sound sarcastic.
"Are you saying I didn't care about other people? About the team?" She felt her temper rising uncontrollably, and she was helpless against it. Her fists were starting to shake.
"Whoa, whoa. Slow down. I didn't say anything like that." Taichi tried to rein the situation in. The warning bells sounded louder now in his mind, but he wondered as to why Chihaya had suddenly gotten irritated.
"Some friend you are."
"Care to tell me straight what that meant, Chihaya?"
"Some friend you are for not telling me y-your story and… and everything." She averted her gaze from him, unwilling to look him straight in the eyes now. Somehow she started to regret asking him about his past. She felt as if she had just dug her own grave.
"My love life has never been your interest, Queen." Taichi said in a more irritated tone now.
Argh! Why the hell are we even talking about this, anyway?
"And your condition? Did she know about it as well?" She asked in a small voice now.
"I think so. I never bothered telling her, -I only found out about it during our senior year, - though I wouldn't be surprised if she did know about it. She has her own ways of finding out."
Chihaya's head snapped up to look at him. "So you mean to say she knew about that? So you were still in contact with her through the past years?"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "I don't know if she knew. As for the contact, I don't know if you would count hearing about her from your friends as contact. I would hear about her once in a while. The usual, them telling me she's in a new relationship, or how rotten her new boyfriend was…" He answered her question with the patience of a saint, plucking another apple slice from the bowl, trying to sound casual even if her questions was making him stomach turn over uncomfortably already.
Chihaya's next question suddenly turned everything upside down. She didn't know what made her say it, but then it's as if her mouth had a mind of it's own already. "So had you known she was still single you would have gone back to her?"
Taichi felt the apple slice go down the wrong pipe that he choked. He scrambled for the water bottle and chugged it down and as soon as his mouth is clear he looked at her incredulously. "What!?"
"You heard me." She stood her ground.
Taichi was torn as to whether he should yell at her or laugh at her utter ridiculousness. "Why in the world would I go back to her?"
"Well… you looked like you missed her a lot earlier." She shrugged, even when it felt as if she wanted to throw something far away from her. "If…anything, even, would you mind if she even knew about your condition?"
Taichi couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Is this some sort of truth or consequence question, Chihaya? Really I just don't get why you're asking me all… this?" He really is irritated now. He had just told her that he loved her a week ago! Practically poured his heart out to her! Didn't she understand that? Or was it really just all about karuta for her? "If she knew about it, I probably wouldn't have minded so much." He said through clenched teeth.
Her eyes narrowed. "So, assuming that you were still together, you would have told her what you're going through, is that it?" Her eyes were in danger of disappearing into slits. "Let me ask you then, and again, Taichi. What is love? Did that mean keeping the truth from the person you 'love'?"
He felt something in him snap and he threw his hands up in the air. Where are all these crazy questions coming from, dammit? "What do you want me to say, Chihaya? What more do you want me to do?" He gazed at her despairingly. "I don't like her. I've never been in love with her like I was head-over-heels for you! I never told you about this because I cared about you so much. I loved you too much that I hadn't wanted to see you hurt because of what was happening to me and Harada-sensei. That's what love is." He grabbed her right hand in his and laid it over his chest that she reddened furiously. "Feel that? This thing has always beaten just for you, Ayase Chihaya." He forced her to look at him, holding her gaze again. "You ask me what love is, and now I'm giving you the answer. It's when you choose to stay away from the person you love despite of hurting her and yourself, because you want her to remain happy. It's when you don't have fun with that person when you were together, but nonetheless you love her with all your being and you wish you were with her."
His chest was heaving up and down, his voice trembling, unused to bearing the weight of so much emotion. He couldn't stop the flow of words coming from his mouth, because it felt as if a dam opened and the water came rushing in. "You irritate the hell out of me most of the time, if not always. You move around a lot, not acting like a lady at all. Men who meet you the first time crush on you. You give your number to a stranger who meets you for the first time and asks for it because you're scared that it won't happen again. You sleep like a log with your eyes open. You never savor the chocolates I buy for you. You don't know how I would die of jealousy every time you talk about Arata. Or every time I try to ask you out but you don't realize I'm already making advances." He paused to catch his breath, and she reacted, wringing her hand from his grip.
"Well excuse me for being incredibly slow and acting unlady-like." She said acidly, but he grabbed her hands again and leaned his forehead against hers, letting his cool breath touch her nose. She didn't back away, and he was grateful for it.
"That time when I wasn't seeing you I thought I was doing quite well with my life. But when you showed up here in Sodai, you smacked it hard in my face that the past few years of my life had all been a farce. I was living a lie. I was just existing the past three years, and it was only when I saw you again that I started to live once again." He ran a hand over his hair, still breathing heavily as if he had ran miles and miles. He looked down, feeling his hands begin to tremble out of sheer frustration. "How much longer are you going to be cruel to me, Chihaya? How much longer are you going to make me long for you? " He asked quietly, his voice soft and small.
Chihaya licked her lips nervously as another blush coated her cheeks. And then suddenly, like a sun coming out from behind the clouds, she recalled Chitose's words with perfect clarity.
Love, Chihaya, is when you do crazy things just to make a person happy. Chitose's voice rang in her mind. It's when you choose to stay away from that person, because you don't want them to be hurt, despite it killing you, because sometimes, it's better to stay away from her than to see her hurt because of you.
The realization was so astonishing that she practically froze. Because finally, finally, she understood.
"Say it." She suddenly said, looking at him with pleading in her eyes.
"Say what?" He muttered, sounding peeved.
Her eyes narrowed, sudden fire springing in her auburn eyes. "Your confession. You told me you love me a week ago. I want to hear it again."
Taichi stared at her, wondering what she was getting at. She wanted to hear it, she said. That wasn't being selfish of her… right? He sighed and met her eyes head-on, straightening up from leaning his forehead against hers.
"I love you, Chihaya." He said, his amber eyes pinning her with a heated gaze, as he let all his emotions flow into the words that Chihaya felt the sincerity and the love from merely listening to it, "I hadn't gotten over you the moment you beat me in that match supposed to be between me and Arata. I never got over you even when I was with Ruka and I was practically in a relationship with her." He sighed, smiling weakly. "And I don't think I ever would- because you're just plain cruel like that." He teased lightly, with no real meaning behind the last three words.
She felt an electric shock run through her, and if she hadn't been sitting she would have lost the strength of her knees. And as she felt it, another of Chitose's words ran through her mind.
Whoever makes your heart flutter in happiness, that's him. Whoever makes you feel as if there is something twisting in your stomach, then that's him for you.
She could feel it now. Again. Her heart fluttering in happiness. Her insides twisting and untwisting into a knot. And as she felt it, Chihaya realized one thing.
It's him. She understood all of a sudden, the second realization enough to freeze her entire being, her eyes widening. Her questions from earlier… why she had felt so jealous as she saw him and Ruka share a laugh easily… when she had seen them squeeze each other's hands in reassurance and comfort as she had just seen when she came from the washroom…
How it incredibly made her possessive when she learned how Kasanagi-san had just… kissed him.
The third realization struck her within a few minutes. She had been asking him those questions because she wanted reassurance that Taichi no longer felt anything for Kasanagi-san. She felt the same for Arata when she asked him whether he had been seeing anyone before as well, she now knew that. But as she listened to him casually tell her the same confession again as he did when they had been left to themselves the first day that Taichi was unconscious, she hadn't felt this… lightheaded.
Her mouth opened and closed again that made Taichi wonder as to what was going through that head of hers.
Chihaya then placed the bowl of apples and the knife aside, feeling herself go red, opened her mouth and asked him in a commanding voice, her face as red as a tomato now. She wasn't backing down from it, no matter how embarrassed it made her feel. She was determined to feel it.
"Kiss me." She said in a stern voice, her dark eyes boring to his once again.
And everything stopped. Froze. Taichi felt as if he was again, deaf on both of his ears. She didn't realize how his skin tingled at what she had just said. Had he… heard correctly?
"What?"
"You heard me." She hedged, as he slowly lowered their hands, placing her hand gently on his lap, lowering his head, his eyes hidden under his thick hair. "I-Isn't there supposed to be a kiss when y-you tell a person that you love her? If so, where was it?" She asked in a demanding voice, unwilling to back down despite of the fact that she felt her arms beginning to tremble. "You tell me that you love me. And even then Kasanagi-san had kissed you too. If you really-"
She was cut off as he wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her towards him, making her fall into his chest. And she felt her breath hitch as he tipped her chin up and brought his lips onto hers.
Chihaya felt a thousand different sensations run through her as their lips met, and her hand crept up to grip the collar of his shirt as her eyes slipped closed.
His lips were warm on hers, and she had been right in thinking that they were soft. The kiss had started out as a slow one, but she gasped as he nibbled gently on her bottom lip, and it took nearly all of Taichi's self control not to push her too hard and rush things.
The first kiss was chaste, almost shy. He pulled back for a moment to stare at her and her eyes opened, their eyes meeting each other's, auburn colliding with amber. It was just a short kiss, but both of their breathing was already ragged, as they gauged each other's expression, measuring each other's reaction, looking for any signs of displeasure.
They found none.
As if having one thought, their lips found one another's again. She scooted a little more closer. He moved forward even more. Her arms found their way upwards, unconsciously wrapping her arms around his neck as she felt her knees turn to jello.
Thank Kami-sama that she was sitting, otherwise, her knees would have buckled.
The confidence kicked in. Taichi kept waiting for an interruption to happen and ruin the moment, making it end, but it continued. He heard her moan when he again nibbled lightly on her bottom lip, his teeth grazing it softly, playfully nudging the plump part. Even when he knew this wouldn't go anywhere, he wasn't ready to let the moment end.
And by the looks of it, neither was she.
Her fingers tangled in his hair, as she began to kiss him back, if a little clumsily. In tune with her emotions, he felt her hesitate for a moment, and he felt slight embarrassment pour off of her.
A shiver ran down her spine as she considered the possibility that he had been waiting for this for so long, and she felt warmth pool in her stomach, her insides twisting again as she recalled his perfectionism.
He hadn't always allowed himself to be mediocre in one thing and had always strived for perfection. The thought that even with… this simple gesture he had polished his ability and skill made her lips tingle with his kiss and heat pool in her stomach, making her shiver in his arms.
He leaned forward and his fingers found their way to her waist. She gasped as his mouth's angle changed- his head leaning over to the left. The way that his lips gently continued claiming her own was enough to make her confidence grow and her lips parted for him.
She shivered at the first touch of his tongue on her lips, and another moan escaped her.
Whoa, boy. Taichi felt as if someone had unceremoniously kicked him in the gut. Slow down. Slow down.
He retracted his tongue back into his mouth and gave her one last kiss before slowly pulling back, his eyes slipping open as he did so. Her eyes opened as well, and she was looking at him a bit disorientedly.
They stared at each other, both breathing heavily and feeling as if the temperature in the room had risen a few more degrees.
Chihaya felt the blood rush into her cheeks, as she fanned herself unconsciously to cool down the heat she knew was still rushing in her body. The way that he was staring at her, -his eyes still intense and heated- made her lips continue tingling as she slowly lowered her arms from being wrapped around his neck.
Taichi did his best to cool his stare down. He could still feel the desire rushing through his body, his stomach tense. God, he began wondering if that had all been a dream, but she had felt so real and solid within his arms, and he could still feel his own mouth tingle from the kiss he had just given her earlier, and as she licked her lips, which was swollen from his kiss, he couldn't help but feel lightheaded and cemented his belief that it was all real.
She was avoiding his gaze though.
"Sorry." He suddenly muttered, which made her head snap up to look at him.
"What? What for?" She asked confusedly, the blush diminishing.
"Well for just kissing you like that." He said, feeling his heart clench painfully somewhere in his chest. "That was supposed to be your first one and I didn't –"
"Don't." She cut him off, her auburn eyes narrowing at him dangerously. "I didn't have you kiss me just to have you apologize for it, Taichi."
"But I didn't-"
"I said don't. You're ruining the moment, and you're making me feel as if I… I wasn't… g-good." She stammered in the end, suddenly averting her gaze from him, her voice small.
What?
"What are you talking about?" He grasped her shoulders as she turned away from him. "Chihaya look at me."
She was determined to avoid his gaze, and she felt her stomach twist uncomfortably all of a sudden at the thought that she… well…
Taichi was her first kiss. And she had no experience at all in that area.
"Did I hurt your feelings?" He asked, sounding surprised. Chihaya reddened again as she turned to look at him, her eyes confirming what he just asked.
She knew it was irrational, but yes, she recognized the feeling inside her as insecurity. She had already been feeling it earlier when she had met Kasanagi-san, and why it had suddenly made her grill Taichi with those questions she never knew she would ask someday and would even feel the need to ask it.
Taichi saw her expression, and he didn't know if he should be happy about it or not. Despite of her suddenly being too aware, it suddenly felt as if he had decimated her or something. Without any forethought though, he drew her slightly to his chest, letting her pillow her head somewhere where she could feel his heart pounding. "Baka." He murmured above her head, finally chuckling at her behavior.
"What?" She asked indignantly, though it was muffled.
"I said you're an idiot. You asked me to kiss you and here you go all of a sudden feeling embarrassed. Women." She felt his shoulders shake with silent laughter. "Do I kiss that good to make you suddenly feel like that?"
Chihaya raised her head and swatted him on the arm. "You do not!" She exclaimed peevishly, but her cheeks were so red that it just contradicted her statement altogether.
"Really…"
"Why are you apologizing then?" Chihaya inquired in a small voice as he looked down to her, his cheeks also reddening all of a sudden.
"Well I'm sorry if I'm a gentleman and it felt as if I kissed you without permission, seeing as it was your first." He realized, as he was saying the words, that all of this is real. This is really happening. God, is the sky falling or something?
Chihaya glared at him. "I told you to kiss me. Isn't that permission enough?" She said pointedly, sounding annoyed.
Well, whatever. She wouldn't understand that it's just hard for me to believe that this has really happened because she's been oblivious about these kinds of things like… forever.
Taichi stared at her all of a sudden, his mood turning serious, his gaze turning intense once again. He didn't want to ask her this now, but he knew that one way or another they would get to it. Their relationship couldn't continue balancing on the point of a knife. They would fall off into one edge or the other.
And seeing as they had just kissed, he knew it was just about time to ask her.
"So what now?"
Chihaya flinched as she met his gaze again, her heart beginning to pound once again as she realized what he was asking. She knew she owed him a response- and not just him, but Arata as well.
She was sure this time though. It had been greedy of her to ask him to tell her once again his feelings a week ago, but she knew, -finally- of her feelings.
She understood it better now.
And after days of being left alone to herself, after all this soul-searching, of trying to make sure she wasn't making a mistake and just going on with her emotions, a smile bloomed on her face, a smile which Taichi had to admit, had been the prettiest smile he had ever seen on her.
"I love you, Taichi."
He felt the tears prick his eyelids as he bowed his head and felt his lower lip tremble, feeling the rush run from the top of his head down to his toes.
Hearing her, the only woman he had loved his entire life, finally tell him that she loved him as well, that she spent days sorting her feelings for him and his rival, that she wasn't guessing her feelings… well, it gave the phrase 'dream come true' an entire new meaning.
Ah shit, he was getting too emotional about this…
"A-Are you sure…?"
Leave it to him to ruin the magical moment. As already said, people's personalities don't change overnight.
Chihaya pouted, but she scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning into his chest and sighing contentedly like a cat. He had always been used to her tackle-formed hugs, so this gentle embrace, like a soothing caress, made him feel lightheaded.
"I love you too, Taichi. And yes, I'm sure." She glanced up at him to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry. I've kept you waiting long enough."
He ruffled her hair as the tears fell from his eyes and he did his best to hide them from her. He was laughing through the tears.
It was then that he felt that all the years he had waited for her, his life having been practically placed on hold when he had chosen to disappear from her life, all the time that he had spent thinking of her and what would make her happy, had all been worth it.
"Hell yeah, you did." He agreed, managing to chuckle and admit it wholeheartedly.
And Chihaya finally realizes it! Finally! It's a miracle.
I had fun while writing this chapter. This is probably the chapter I found most enjoyable writing, despite of the difficulty I had been experiencing (I had one major writer's block attack the last week,) but I persevered with this. Whew! Now I've done it.
So that's one major problem down. The question is, how will Arata react? And how will they get their act together? Hahaha. And I really will be showing Taichi's major desire for Chihaya. I can't wait for it!
I may be ending things the next chapter already. It has been fun writing this story, and I definitely will be writing more fictions about these two from now on. Hey, Mashima Taichi deserves a break, doesn't he? My brain and God permitting, I will be ending this the next chapter. If not, I may write an epilogue.
Please let me know what you think. Like it? Weirded out? Tell me! I'll be waiting for it!
See you the next chapter everone! Toodles! Muah.