(Ah, back again, are you? EXCELLENT! I KNOW I'VE BEEN AWAY FOR A WHILE, COMING UP WITH IDEAS AND WORKING ON OTHER FICS, but I've had the idea for this chapter for quite a while now, AND I FINALLY COMPLETED THE DUEL TO GO WITH IT. SO, YOU KNOW, ENJOY!
Oh, and, of course, "Shadowchasers" is owned by Cyber Commander and I use it with his permission, and "Yu-Gi-Oh!" is owned by Kazuki Takahashi, BUT DOESN'T HE HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAN SKIM THE WEB SEARCHING FOR THINGS TO SUE OVER?)
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Shadowchasers: Miscellaneous Files
That Which Glitters Can Go Blind
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….(You'll understand in a minute)….
Charleston, West Virginia. It's…um…yeah, well…huh. Well, it's not a bad place, just…I really don't know of anything noteworthy about…oh, whatever. On the west side of the city, there was a new bar called The Surly Snake, and it was booming with business, almost packed with patrons.
It was sunset when the door swung open and a woman sauntered in. To a Mundane eye, she would appear as an olive-skinned woman in her early forties with a long, green gown, dark brown dreadlocks, and a big pair of rhinestone-covered sunglasses. Awares, however, could clearly see that her olive skin was covered in scales, and that those dreadlocks were actually hundreds of tiny living snakes. She was a gorgon, a member of a race of reptilian Shadows famous for their ability to petrify others with their gaze. Though often portrayed as monsters, many of them, including this one, were benign.
Sighing, the gorgon, whose name was Leanne, took a look around the bar. As with most taverns, it contained several orcs and bugbears, but an immense number of another race of Shadows had attracted the Shadowchasers' attention to this bar. There were literally dozens of kobolds, short, lizard-like Shadows best known for their cowardice. They were whooping it up, taking long drinks from bottles of green liquor with pictures of hooded cobras on the labels.
Bingo, she thought to herself, and she walked up to the counter.
The bartender, who was in the middle of cleaning a mug, didn't notice Leanne at first. He was a half-orc, easily the most common breed of Shadow-touched (the term for half-human, half-Shadows), with a noticeably muscular frame, a big, flat, piglike nose and tiny, watery eyes. He was dressed in brown slacks and a plaid flannel shirt, and he was currently busy cleaning off a large mug. Finally, he looked up at the gorgon and smiled.
"What can ah getcha, darlin'?" he asked politely, which for someone descended from orcs was suspicious enough.
"Well," Leanne replied gently. "I heard a rumor that this bar was the only one in town that sells…"
"Viperwine?" the bartender finished for her. "That's right, little lady. Ah take it yeh want a bottle?"
"Actually," a new voice announced from the doorway. "We'd like to see your license."
The bartender snarled and looked up at the speaker. He was a middle-aged man dressed in a dark brown three-piece suit with a Duel Disk on his arm. He was quite bald, but with a very prominent moustache that dipped down and then viciously curved up to look like a pair of parentheses. There was an African grey parrot perched on his shoulder and munching on an ear of corn.
"Ah—ah don't know what yer talking about," the bartender suddenly stammered. "License fer what, exactly?"
"Oh, please," the man said, rolling his eyes. "Don't play dumb with me, mister…?"
"Call me Buck," the bartender replied. "And ah told yeh, I don't know what yer talkin' about!"
"I'm afraid you do," the man replied, still quite calm. "You see, my friend Leanne here—"
"Hi," the gorgon said with a wave.
"—just heard you admit to selling viperwine, and she'd be happy to stand witness in any court. Now, from your sudden change in attitude, I'm guessing that you don't have a license. You know how dangerous that is, don't you? Viperwine contains venom of the Indian viper—delicious to reptilian Shadows, but quite deadly to anyone else. Anyone who sells it has to prove that they can be trusted with it."
"Aw, cut the lecture, old man!" Buck snapped. "Yeah, ah admit it! Ah ain't got no license—not that it's fer lack o' tryin', mind yeh! That exam is darn near impossible!"
"Be that as it may," the man replied. "You haven't the clearance to sell this substance, so I'm afraid I have to shut you down and ship you off. However, you can make this easy on yourself by going quietly. If you do, I promise that your sentence will be reduced—just thirty days in a minimum-security prison and a fine."
"Forget that!" Buck snarled. "Yeh say that now, but as soon as yeh have me, I'll be in fer years! I'll take mah chances!"
With that, the porcine bartender reached below the bar and pulled out a Duel Disk and deck.
"So, I take it you're challenging me to a duel?" the man asked.
"That's right," Buck replied. "And when ah win, you Shadowchasers leave me alone!"
The mustached man sighed, but nodded. "I figured as much," he said. "Well, I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Grant, and this—" he gestured to the bird on his shoulder. "—is my companion, Edward."
"Call me Ed," the parrot chirped.
"Yeah, whatever," the bartender responded, rolling his tiny eyes before raising his voice to address the rest of the bar. "ALL RIGH', EVERYBODY!" he shouted. "AH'M CLOSIN' UP FER A FEW! EVERYBODY OUT!"
The orcs and bugbears groaned and shuffled out, but the Kobolds couldn't leave quickly enough. In fact, just as Grant was fishing his deck out of his pocket, one of them bumped him in the side, rushing out the door without even an apology. In shock, the mustached Shadowchaser dropped all his cards on the floor.
"Oh, dear," he sighed, bending down to pick them up.
"Oh, let me help!" Leanne exclaimed.
Instantly, the gorgon rushed over and reached down. Unfortunately, she went down just as Grant was coming up, and he swept her sunglasses right of…right before looking her in her thin, reptilian eyes.
Well, everybody knows what happens when you look a gorgon in the eyes. In less than a second, Grant had turned into a statue of his former self, a look of deep fear frozen on his face.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Leanne gasped, and Buck burst out laughing.
"Aw, this is rich!" he guffawed as Leanne ducked down and retrieved her shades, then began pushing Grant up to a wall. "Grant's turned to granite, and ah don't have to duel no one!"
"Wrong!" a grating voice shouted out. It was Ed, his voice now harsh and grating, much different from before, and Buck couldn't help but stare. "There'll still be a duel, right here and now!"
Buck's jaw dropped as he tried to register what had just happened. "You…you can talk?" he asked, none too intelligently.
"Of course I can!" the parrot replied, tossing the now-bare corncob across the room. "I'm Grant's familiar, bonehead! Now, my master may be down—oh, we're gonna have to call in some help, and the higher-ups are never gonna let any of us forget about this! Honestly, why did I have to get stuck with the klutziest warlock in the history of the Shadowchasers? I'm not a bad bird, really, but the things I have to put up wi—what was I saying again?"
"Uh, 'your master may be down'." Leanne reminded him.
"Right, right. My master may be down, but as his familiar, I have the authority to duel you in his place, so suit up!"
"You?" Buck laughed. "Are you serious? Yer tellin' me that you have a deck?"
"Of course not!" Ed snapped. "But Grant does, and I know his deck inside and out!"
"And how, exactly, do you plan to use the Disk?" the bartender inquired.
"I think that I can lend a hand there," Leanne said confidently, sweeping up the Shadowchaser's cards and shuffling them. "I'll be Ed's hands for this duel. Anything to make up for…well, you know…"
Ed grunted derisively. "Yeah," he grunted. "That makes up for the years of jokes the other Shadowchasers are gonna get out of this! Well, it's a start. Grab his Duel Disk, sit back, and let me handle everything, okay?"
"Got it," the gorgon replied, fitting the petrified Shadowchaser's Duel Disk onto her arm and inserting his deck.
Buck continued to chuckle as he readied his own Duel Disk.
"This is gonna be the easies' duel ah ever had," he laughed.
"Yeah, keep dreaming," Ed told him. "Oh, and a quick warning: Grant's prisoner-transporter-gem-thingy is right in his pocket. One false move and—"
"Yeah, yeah," the bartender interrupted. "Let's just get this over with."
Buck and Leanne both activated their Duel Disks, launching the holo-imagers to opposite sides of the room. They drew their opening hands, and Ed perched on Leanne's outstretched right arm, examining her cards.
(Ed: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (Buck: 8,000)
"Just remember to turn your head down when he attacks," the familiar mumbled. "The last thing I need today is another accidental petrification!"
"I said I was sorry!" Leanne hissed.
"Yeah, well, it's gonna take more than that to make this okay! Honestly, Jalal himself is gonna bust a gut over this, and he never laughs at his Shadowchasers! This is going to be an absolute—"
"If you two are done," Buck shouted, snapping them back to reality as he drew another card. "Ah'd like ta make mah move!"
"Yeah, whatever," Ed grunted.
"Good," the half-orc replied, selecting two cards from his hand. "I'll start by placing a Monster in Defense and a facedown for later."
Two brown holographic card backs appeared, one positioned horizontally, and one vertically behind it.
"And that's all for now."
Ed just rolled his eyes as Leanne drew. "Starting defensively," he squawked. "Yeah, I've never seen that before! Well, try this! I summon Gemresis!"
Ed plucked a card out of Leanne's hand with his beak and waddled forward onto the Duel Disk, dropping it right onto one of the Monster Zones. A second later, a creature sprung up in front of him. It looked a giant armadillo with jet engines mounted on its shoulders and no hind legs. Three large red gems protruded from its skin—two in its armpits and one just above the base of its tail. (1,700 ATK)
"And, when Gemresis is Normal Summoned, I get to move a Gemknight Monster from my deck to my hand! I think I'll go with Gemknight Ganet!"
A card slipped out of the deck, and Leanne placed it in her hand.
"Okay, Gemresis," Ed commanded. "Attack that facedown Monster! Nine-banded blitz!"
The armadillo let out a chirp and curled up into a ball. Its engines flared up and blasted it forward into the opponent's horizontal card. Just for a second, a Monster appeared, one that resembled a giant red tomato with a face that bore a wide, toothy grin, before it shattered into pixels. (1,100 DEF)
"Oh, crap," the familiar moaned. "Don't tell me that that was—"
"Tha's right!" Buck whooped. "Mah Mystic Tomater! And since he was destroyed in battle, ah get to bring out a whole new Monster from mah deck! Here comes Legendary Fiend!"
A card shot out of Buck's deck and he placed it onto his Disk, resulting in a new Monster's appearance. This one was a nightmarish Fiend-Type, a muscular winged blue one with four arms, two of which ended in the heads of snakelike creatures. It roared menacingly. (1,500 ATK)
"Darn it!" the parrot squawked. "I was afraid of something like this!"
"Then yeh shouldn't've attacked, pipsqueak," Buck chortled. "As it is, ah've got a high-level Monster out before mah secon' turn!"
"Let's see how long it lasts, though," Ed shot back. "I'll play a couple of facedown cards and turn it over to you."
The familiar snatched two more cards from Leanne's hand and placed them into the Duel Disk, conjuring two holographic facedown cards.
"Your move, piggy."
Buck growled as he snatched up his obligatory card. "Yeh know, yeh've got a big mouth fer such a tiny bird."
"At least I've got the dueling skills to back it up!" Ed retorted.
"But not the hands," Leanne mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear.
"You're on thin ice as it is, gorgon," the familiar snapped. "So just draw the cards and keep your opinions to yourself, okay?"
Leanne said nothing, but the snakes on her head began to hiss menacingly.
"Hey," Buck shouted at the two would-be heroes. "If you two're done, ah'd like ta make mah move!"
"Then go right ahead," Leanne told him. "I really do hate being kept waiting."
"Like ah care about how yeh feel about it," the bartender grumbled. "Well, as yeh might not know, mah Legendary Fiend gains seven-hundred Attack Points durin' each o' mah Standby Phases!"
Legendary Fiend roared as its muscles swelled up even larger. (1,500 ATK) -) (2,200 ATK)
"An', in addition ta tha', ah'm bringin' out mah Picador Fiend!"
He slapped a card down onto his Disk, and a new, horrific Monster sprang up. It had was a terrible fiend with no skin to speak of, with a creepy, grinning mask, skulls on its shoulders, and giant, batlike wings with exposed muscle tissue between the bones. It sat astride a demonic skeletal horse with ramlike horns. (1,600 ATK)
"Huh," Ed commented, without flinching. "I think I found Grant's costume for the next Halloween party…"
Buck blinked in surprise. "Well…" he said after a moment of silence. "Can' say ah've ever had that reaction."
"Are you kidding?" the familiar cackled. "I've seen it all! After Doll Chimera, nothing can scare me anymore!"
"Yeah? Well…yeh ain' seen nothin' yet! Legendary Fiend, attack his armadillo! Blast it inta eternal darkness!"
The huge Fiend smiled wickedly and joined the heads on its upper arms together. The ugly things hissed and blasted a wave of pure darkness right at Gemresis.
"Oh, I don't think so!" Ed suddenly cried out. "I've got quite the card in store for you! Activate Rush Recklessly!"
Ed hit a button on the Duel Disk and one of his facedown cards lifted up: a Spell card featuring the image of an enraged bull charging forward. Gemresis glowed with a dim white light, swelling with confidence. (1,700 ATK) -) (2,400 ATK)
Legendary Fiend let out a high-pitched scream as it was cleaved in half by the armadillo's claw.
(E: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 7,800)
Buck's face went red with anger as he slapped his card into the Graveyard.
"Cheap move, bird, an' a beginner's one at that!"
"Didn't stop you from falling for it," Leanne replied, and Ed nodded in agreement. Buck, however, spat on the floor in disgust.
"Ah'm jus' warmin' up!" he insisted. "Ah'll play a facedown card fer now, an' nex' turn ah'll show yeh wha' ah can really do!"
"I'd like to see that!" Ed laughed as a facedown card appeared behind Picador Fiend and Leanne drew a card. "Now, let's see…oh, I think I'll summon the Gemknight Ganet I got last turn!"
The bird placed another card onto the Disk and a confident-looking knight emerged, with bright scarlet armor decorated with pictures of flames and crimson gems on his shoulders, chestplate, and helmet. He struck a position like a boxer at the beginning of a match. (1,900 ATK)
"Now, attack that whatchamacallit Fiend!"
"Picador Fiend," Leanne corrected.
"Whatever!" Ed squawked. "Just attack it!"
Ganet nodded and clenched his right fist, conjuring a gargantuan ball of fire and hurling it at the equestrian Fiend.
"Ah don' think so!" Buck laughed. "Ah activate mah Trap card! Go, Infernal Muleta!"
The card behind Picador Fiend lifted up, featuring the image of Picador Fiend itself staring down the skeleton of a bull, holding a small red cape and laughing, and suddenly Picador Fiend was holding the very same cape. It waved the cape and its horse jumped aside just in time to save it from the blast.
(E: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 7,500)
"As yeh can see," Buck explained. "Mah Infernal Muleta saves any Fiend-type Monster from being destroyed in battle fer the duration o' the turn!"
"But I noticed you still took damage," Ed remarked. "So I'll keep going! Gemresis, you attack, too!"
Gemresis jetted forward, but once again Picador Fiend simply taunted it with its cape and avoided destruction.
(E: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 7,400)
"And…well, that's it for now," the familiar admitted. "But there's more to come next turn!"
"Ah'm sure," the half-orc retorted, drawing his card. Out of the blue, his face lit up. "Aw, yeah! Now it's a duel! Ah'm takin' us to mah favorite location!"
Leanne gave Ed a nervous look, but the parrot just shook his head. "Bring it on," he challenged.
"Oh, ah will!" Buck snarled. "Ah activate mah Dark Arena Field Spell!"
The bartender's Field Slot opened up, and he inserted a card. It closed, and an eerie darkness surrounded the two (or three) duelists. It blocked out almost all of what little light the bar had, and demonic statues sprung up as the sounds of a rambunctious, cheering audience just above them filled their ears.
"Is this…a bullfighting arena?" Leanne asked, once the initial shock was over.
"Very good," Buck complimented. "A lot o' mah opponents never get that. Yeah, it's a bullfightin' ring, all righ', and ah jus' love usin' it!"
"Why?" Ed pondered. "Oh, wait, let me guess: You like the violence?"
"Yeah, tha's a part of it," the bartender shrugged. "All orcs love a good bloodbath, an' a bullfight's a grea' place fer that, bu' the real reason I love this place is its effect!"
"And what, exactly, does this monstrous place do?" Leanne asked, still shaken from the sounds around them.
"Yeh'll see soon enough, little lady. But fer now, yeh should know tha' mah Picador Fiend's got a special ability tha' only works when he's in the Dark Arena! Namely, he can attack directly!"
"WHAT!" Ed and Leanne screamed simultaneously.
"Picador Fiend, attack directly with mortal smite!"
Picador Fiend's skulls (all four of them) glowed bright green, and it shot a wave of verdant conflagration straight past the bejeweled Monsters and into Leanne's chest, causing her to double over in pain.
(E: 6,400) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 7,400)
"That'll end it fer me."
"Good," Ed spoke up. "Now, come on, Leanne, it barely touched you! Get up and draw!"
"Ugh, okay," Leanne grumbled, slowly picking herself up. Her snakes were hissing louder than ever now. "I'm up. I'm up and I'm drawing. See? I'm helpful."
"Yes, yes," the parrot told her as she added a card to her hand. "It's excellent to have you—or it would be if you hadn't petrified my master!"
"I said I was sorry!"
"I know, I know, and there's nothing to do about it now, so just let me make my move. Now, let's see…"
Ed stared at the six cards in Leanne's hand for a moment before making his decision.
"Okay, then," he said, snatching up a card in his beak. "I'll summon Gemknight Methyst to the Field!"
Once again, he shuffled down the gorgon's arm and placed the card into the Duel Disk's Monster Zone, and a new Monster appeared, this one a small and decidedly female knight with bright purple armor studded with violet gems. She spread her legs and struck a martial arts stance. (1,200 ATK)
"That should provide some extra muscle," Ed said as he moved back up to Leanne's forearm. "And now, Gemknight Ganet, destroy his Picador Fiend once and for all!"
Ganet nodded and conjured up another fireball.
"Not a chance!" Buck shouted. "Activate Scapegoat!"
Buck's facedown card lifted up and four adorable, brightly colored sheep (one red, one orange, one pink, and one blue) appeared, two on each side of the hideous demon, wearing dazed, sleepy looks on their faces. (0 DEFx4)
Ed, however, remained unimpressed.
"So you've got a few more Monsters," he snorted, shrugging his wings. "So what? Your Fiend is still toast."
"Ah don' think so!" Buck shot back. "Yeh see, like ah said, mah Dark Arena's got a pretty potent effect! Namely, it blinds Monsters with darkness—i.e. whenever a player attacks, the opponent gets ta choose the target! So no, yer Gemknight's not destroyin' mah Fiend! It's goin' fer one o' mah Sheep Tokens!"
True to Buck's word, Gemknight Ganet, blinded by the darkness, launched an attack that obliterated the red sheep, but didn't even touch Picador Fiend.
Once again, an awkward silence went through the bar.
"Well," Ed finally said. "I'll admit, that sets me back, but it sure doesn't mean you're going to win! Gemresis," he ordered. "Destroy another of his Tokens!"
The armadillo nodded and curled into a ball, blasting into the orange token and obliterating it.
"And with that, I guess I'll end—"
"No, you won't!" Buck interrupted. "Here in the Dark Arena, all Monsters in Attack Mode must attack, no matter what! Yer not finished yet!"
"What?" Ed exclaimed. "But that means—"
"Tha's righ'! Yer Methyst's finished!"
And, at that moment, without any sort of instruction, the purple knight jumped forward, right at the monstrous demon, and was blasted apart by his green fire.
(E: 6,000) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 7,400)
"Now yer turn is over," Buck laughed, drawing a card. "And mine can begin! Ah summon mah Banderillero Fiend!"
The bartender slapped a card onto his Disk, and yet another new Monster appeared, this one a horrific hybrid of bat and snake, with a pointed head and a demonic face on its torso. (900 ATK)
"An' when he's Normal Summoned, ah get ta destroy one Monster on the field, an' ah'm gettin' plum tired o' lookin' at tha' Gemknight Ganet!"
Banderillero Fiend glowed with an ugly purple energy, and the crimson Gemknight was blown to smithereens.
"Okay…" Leanne suddenly said. "I've been quiet up until now—"
"Says you," Ed murmured.
"—but I have to ask: What in the world is a banderillero? And a picador, for that matter?"
Buck sighed, but gave a quick explanation.
"Banderilleros and picadores are toreros, humans that take part in a bullfight. The banderillero places banderillas, colorful sticks ended with barbs, inta the bull's shoulders ta weaken it fer the matador, and the picador tests the bull's strength on horseback using a lance. After they do the work, the matador goes in fer the kill. After all, bullfighting may be cruel, but it's a team sport."
Ed and Leanne just stared at the half-orc, mouths agape.
"Yeah," Buck growled. "Mongo read."
"Clearly not enough!" Ed cackled. "I've still got a Monster more powerful than either of yours, and even if that Picador can attack directly, what's protecting that Banderillero?"
"Ah'll tell yeh what!" Buck screamed. "His special ability, tha's what! On the turn that Banderillero Fiend is summoned, he can' attack! So, all ah have to do is attack directly with mah Picador Fiend, so let's get a move on!"
The horse-mounted Fiend warmed up an assault, but Ed interrupted when he made a sudden realization.
"Wait!" he shouted. "You said that when Dark Arena is active, the opponent chooses a Monster's attack targets, so I'm redirecting his assault onto my Gemresis to get rid of that Picador Fiend once and for all!"
"No yeh ain't!" Buck chortled. "Dark Arena's attack-guidin' effect doesn't apply if a player controls a Monster with 'Fiend' in its name, so ah can attack whatever and whoever ah want!"
"Oh, crap," Ed and Leanne sighed at the same time.
Picador Fiend laughed hysterically and shot another blast at Leanne and Ed. Ed flew up to the ceiling and avoided it, but Leanne's snakes continued to hiss in panic as she was blown back by the shockwave.
(E: 4,400) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 7,400)
"An' tha's all fer now," the bartender chuckled.
Leanne plucked herself up and Ed perched back down on her arm.
"You okay?" the familiar asked.
"Yeah, I think so," Leanne replied with a nod. "Besides, it's not like I'm doing much besides standing here and holding cards."
"Yeah, keep that in mind while you draw for me, honey."
Leanne sighed and added another card to her hand, and Ed looked them over.
"Oh, finally I draw it!" he exclaimed. "Okay, Buck, it's time to kick this game up to the next level! I activate my Gemknight Fusion!"
Ed stuffed another card into his Duel Disk and the image of a new Spell card appeared. It vaguely resembled the classic Polymerization card, with two knights swirling together, but there were dozens of precious gems floating around them.
"I'm using it to fuse together two Monsters in my hand—namely Gemknights Rumarin and Sapphia—to form an all-new Gemknight!"
Ghostly images of two new Gemknights appeared on the field. One was short and bulky, with yellow armor and gems, and the other was lanky, with icy white armor and jewels of a deep shade of blue. The two swirled together and disappeared, and a new Monster took their place, one with yellow armor similar to Rumarin's, but taller and thinner, and decorated with lightning bolt shapes all over. He pulled out a pair of twin swords with bright yellow blades shaped like lightning bolts that coursed with electricity. (1,800 ATK)
"Meet my Gemknight Paz!"
Buck stared at the new Monster skeptically before speaking.
"Tha's it?" he asked. "Ah was expectin' a few more Attack Points fer a Fusion Monster."
"What Paz lacks in brute strength, he makes up for in talent!" Ed squawked. "But for now, I'll try attacking that Picador Fiend again with Gemresis! Gemresis, you know what to do!"
The armadillo curled up into a ball and jetted forward, but Buck just laughed.
"Ah don' think so!" he said. "Ah'm usin' mah Dark Arena ta change the target ta another Sheep Token!"
Gemresis swerved off-course and struck another sheep, this time the blue one.
"Then I'll just try again! Paz, you attack the Picador! Double-bolt blade!"
"Not a chance!" Buck cried. "Ah'm sendin' it ta mah last Sheep Token!"
Blinded by the intense darkness, Gemknight Paz slashed the pink sheep in half, but Ed showed no sign of disappointment.
"What's up with you, bird?" the bartender demanded. "Yeh startin' ta crack under the pressure?"
"Au contraire, my dear orc-spawn," Ed whooped. "You've played right into my hand. You see, I knew you'd redirect my attacks to the Sheep Tokens, so I decided to just get rid of them faster, and now that they're all gone, I can finally get ahead in this game!"
"How d'yeh mean?" Buck insisted. "Ah've been controllin' this here duel practically since the firs' turn!"
"And now it's over, Buck, because, like I said, my Gemknight Paz has a few special talents, the first of which is that he can attack twice in one turn!"
"WHAT?" Buck cried.
"Gemknight Paz, wipe out that Picador Fiend!"
Buck shook his head wildly, his mouth beginning to foam up in rage. "Ah don' think so, Polly! Ah still have mah Dark Arena, an' I plan on keepin' mah Picador Fiend around fer as long as I can, so ah'm turnin' this attack onto mah other Monster! Kill the Banderillero Fiend instead!"
Sure enough, Paz turned and sliced through the serpentine demon, blasting it into pixels.
(E: 4,400) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 6,500)
"Tha' move may've cost me more Life Points," Buck announced. "But it saved a Monster that was much more useful in the long run."
"Yeah, well, you're about to lose a few more!" Ed squawked.
Buck blinked in surprise. "Whaddyeh mean?"
"I mean that after Gemknight Paz destroys a Monster in battle, it takes the Monster's Attack Points straight out of your Life Points!"
Confidently, the yellow Gemknight leapt past Buck's Monster and shot a bolt of lightning from both blades right into Buck's heart, sending the half-orc skidding across the room.
(E: 4,400) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 5,600)
"That's all for this turn," Ed declared as Buck regained his composure. "But next turn I'm wiping out that Picador Fiend once and for all!"
The bartender growled as he snatched up a card from his deck, but then began to laugh like mad.
"Looks like you were wrong, bird!" he cackled. "Mah Picador Fiend ain't going nowhere, because ah just drew the centerpoint o' mah Dark Arena combo!"
"And what would that be?" Leanne asked, slinking back a little in fear.
"Yeh'll see inna minute, little lady," the half-orc replied. "But first, ah need ta activate mah Monster Reincarnation Spell."
Buck slipped a card into his Disk and a giant ankh appeared on the field.
"Now, ah'll just discard one garbage card…"
He placed a card from his hand into his Graveyard slot.
"…ta retrieve mah Legendary Fiend!"
A card shot out of the very same slot, and the half-orc placed it in his hand.
"And what good will that do you?" Ed cried out. "Summoning him will just get rid of your Picador Fiend, and I'll just destroy it on my next turn!"
"Ah don't plan on summoning mah Legendary Fiend again, bird!" Buck snarled. "Ah jus' needed it back in mah hand fer a ritual!"
"RITUAL?" Buck and Leanne exclaimed, and immediately afterward, Ed mumbled to Leanne "We've got to stop doing that…"
"Tha's right, a ritual!" Buck repeated. "It's time ta bring out the star o' the show! Ah activate Ritual of the Matador!"
He played the card, and a blood-filled fountain appeared on the field.
"This particular Ritual Spell costs me six stars' worth o' Monsters, so ah'm ponyin' up mah Legendary Fiend ta pay the toll!"
The giant blue demon appeared in the fountain and was coated in blood.
"An' bring out the master o' the Dark Arena! Come on out, Matador Fiend!"
Legendary Fiend began to morph in shape, losing two of its arms and becoming taller and thinner. Eventually the blood poured off and revealed a whole new Fiend with dark, leathery skin, huge claws on its hands and feet, and enormous red wings that looked a lot like a cape when spread out. (0 ATK)
"Okay…" Ed commented. "A six-star Ritual Monster with a nonexistent Attack Score. Obviously it's got some sort of effect."
"O' course it does!" Buck shot back, foam still forming in the corners of his mouth. "An' ah'll prove it right here and now! Matador Fiend, attack his Gemknight Paz! Estoque grip!"
Matador Fiend let out a deep, terrifying laugh, and launched itself at the yellow Gemknight.
"Let me guess," Leanne piped up, her voice high and her snakes in a frenzy. "It becomes stronger than any Monster it attacks?"
Buck shook his head. "Not quite. See fer yerself."
Ed and Leanne watched closely, but the gaunt demon's Attack Score never changed. Instead, when Paz attempted to slice it, Matador Fiend masterfully dodged, and then shoved its clawed hand right through Paz's armor and into its chest. Paz let out a pitiful wail and shattered into pixels.
"Wha—what just happened?" Ed gasped, beak agape.
"Mah Matador Fiend's special ability, tha's what!" Buck answered. "Whenever he battles another Monster, all battle damage is reduced ta zero, and the opposing Monster dies right afterward! He's invincible!
"An', jus' ta make it worse, ah can direct all yer attacks from now on right ta him, so yeh'll never lay a hand on me again!"
"That's insanity!" Leanne objected. "How can such a powerful card be legal?"
"Well, between you an' me," the half-orc replied. "It ain' exactly common. In fact, only twenty-five of 'em were ever made!"
"And how, exactly, did a half-orc bartender get his hands on an uber-rare card like that?" Ed growled. "After all, I have a hard time believing you could afford it."
"Ah got it from mah old man," Buck said with a shrug. "An' he took it off some unlucky sap he beat ta death with a tire iron."
"That's just despicable!" Leanne gasped. "Killing a man over a rare card!"
"Maybe it is, but it ain' mah crime, now, is it?" Buck told them, shrugging again. "An' jus' so yeh know, mah old man died over eight years ago, so ah wouldn't bother huntin' 'im down."
"You disgust me," Leanne hissed, and the snakes on her head joined in.
"Get in line," the bartender shot back, and then he proceeded to wipe the foam from his mouth with his sleeve. "Anyway, it's still mah turn, an' ah've still got a Monster left."
"Oh, no," Leanne muttered.
"Picador Fiend, attack directly!"
Yet again the demon shot its wave of green flames, and yet again the gorgon could barely take it, even when curled up to better shield herself. Still, she managed to hold out until it was finished.
(E: 2,800) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 5,600)
"Ugh," she grumbled. "I can't take many more of those…"
"Oh, buck up," Ed told her. "It's not so hard to take an attack or two."
"Easy for you to say!" the gorgon snapped. "You may be the one making all the moves, but I'm the one taking all the hits!"
"Well, it's your own fault for petrifying my master! Honestly, I'm bonded to a klutz, I can't see the color blue, and I have to spend almost all my time in public either staying silent or saying completely idiotic phrases like 'POLLY WANT A CRACKER!'! I think I deserve to forego the opportunity to make my own life less miserable once in a while!"
"Oh, you are such a little brat!"
"Have a sense of humor, lady! It'll make life a lot more pleasant. Look at me: I'm an encyclopedia of dirty jokes, and I'm always able to keep myself in a good mood. Hey, wanna hear one now?"
"NO!" Leanne and Buck shouted.
"Okay," the familiar continued, as if he hadn't heard them. "There are these two fleas—"
THE JOKE BEING TOLD HAS BEEN DEEMED FAR TOO DIRTY FOR A STORY OF THIS RATING. PLEASE ENJOY THE REST OF THE CHAPTER.
"—moustache! Hahahaha!"
"Oh, dear lord!" Leanne choked, doing everything she could to avoid vomiting. "And I thought that Buck was barbaric!"
"Mah dad used ta squish peoples' skulls until their brains oozed out, and ah've never been more disgusted than right now!" Buck agreed, beginning to dry heave.
"Oh, grow up, you two," Ed replied. "It's just a joke, and a funny one at that. I've gotten big laughs from it at parties!"
"What kind of parties are you going to?" Leanne demanded.
"Okay, okay," Buck spoke up. "It was a filthy, filthy joke. But it's over now. Now, will yeh two kindly make yer turn?"
"Fine," the gorgon sighed, drawing a card, and Ed took his time looking them over.
"Oh, this won't do at all," he murmured, still staring at the four cards.
"Nothin' good in that hand, eh?" Buck chortled. "Too bad fer you."
"Yes, I guess it is," Ed agreed. "So I guess I'll just have to get a new one, then."
"Huh?" the bartender replied, raising an eyebrow.
Ed took yet another card from Leanne's hand in his beak and waddled over to the Duel Disk before inserting it into one of the Spell/Trap Zones.
"I activate Card Destruction, discarding my entire hand to draw an equal number of cards from my deck! Leanne, would you please?"
Leanne nodded and slipped the three cards she was holding into the Disk's Graveyard slot, and then picked up three new cards from the deck. As soon as she did, Ed took a look and let out a sigh.
"I suppose it'll do," he said. "I guess I'll just place two cards facedown and a Monster in Defense Mode. Oh, and I'll switch Gemresis to Defense Mode, too."
Three card backs (two vertical, one horizontal) appeared in front of Ed and Leanne, and Gemresis curled up into a ball next to the horizontal one.
"An' that's all?" Buck boomed.
"Unfortunately, yes," Ed responded. "At least for now. Now, hurry up and make your move, would you?"
"Don' rush me!" Buck snapped, blowing spittle everywhere as he drew a card and looked it over. "Let's see…well, ah guess ah'll jus' repeat mah last turn."
"Oh, no," Leanne groaned.
"Oh, yeah," Buck told her. "Picador Fiend, attack directly!"
The horse-riding demon sent out yet another verdant conflagration and Leanne prepared for the worst, but, to her surprise, Ed squawked and flew in front of her, shielding her heart (and, sadly, only her heart) from the blow. He was shot back, but almost instantly recovered, landing on the gorgon's shoulder.
(E: 1,200) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 5,600)
"Ed," Leanne said softly. "I…I don't know what to say…Thank you."
"Yeah, well," the parrot replied, shrugging his wings as Leanne's snakes nuzzled him affectionately. "You did have a point about always taking the attacks. I guess you deserved a break. I mean, I'm a familiar. We're nothing if not team players."
"Still, it was very sweet," Leanne told him.
"Yeah, yeah," Buck groaned. "A whole lotta love goin' on here, but in case yeh've forgotten, we're in the middle of a duel!
"Matador Fiend, get rid o' that Gemresis! Ah've been lookin' at it since that bird's first turn!"
The gaunt demon nodded and leapt forward, blowing the defensive armadillo to smithereens.
"An' that's that fer mah turn."
"None too soon," Ed wheezed, still a little winded from taking the attack as Leanne drew a card for him. "Still, I think I can turn this around."
"Oh, really?" Buck asked.
"Yes, really," Ed answered. "And I'll start by activating Akhashic Record!"
The parrot snatched up the card and slipped it into the Duel Disk like always.
"This lets me add two extra cards to my hand, so long as neither of them has been used in the duel so far. If either of them has, I have to remove both from play.
"Frankly, I was just yesterday telling Grant that he should take this card out, but for the first time ever, I'm glad he didn't listen to me. Anyway, Leanne, would you do the honors?"
"Gladly," the gorgon replied, drawing two cards and looking them over. "And it looks like both of them are new to this duel."
Leanne turned the cards around for Ed and Buck to see, and they indeed hadn't been used in this duel. They were two well-known Spell cards, Dark Factory of Mass Production and Fusion Weapon.
"Works for me," Ed tittered. "In fact, they're perfect. I think I'll use them right now! I'll start by using Dark Factory of Mass Production to return Gemknights Ganet and Sapphia to my hand."
He played the card, and retrieved the two Normal Monsters from his Graveyard.
"Now, here's a question for you, Buck: What makes Gemknight Fusion different from good ol' Polymerization?"
"Um…" Buck replied. "It only makes Gemknight Fusions?"
"That's true," Ed said with a laugh. "But more importantly, it's reusable. If it's ever in my Graveyard, I can return it to my hand just by removing a Gemknight in my Graveyard from play, like I'm doing with Methyst right now!"
A card slipped out of the Duel Disk's Graveyard slot and Leanne pocketed it, while Ed picked out another card and added it to Leanne's hand.
"Now I think I'll use it, fusing together Gemknights Ganet and Sapphia to bring out yet another new face!"
He played the card, and the fiery Ganet swirled together with the icy Sapphia until the two became one. It was tall and elegant, with armor very much like Ganet's, but far fancier, and with a silky blue cape and a long, crimson polearm. He slammed the polearm into the ground and struck a heroic pose. (2,500 ATK)
"Let's give a warm welcome to Gemknight Rubys!
"In fact, I have a present for him. I'm equipping him with Fusion Weapon for a massive power boost!"
The tip of Rubys' polearm changed into a giant cattle prod-like device, the tip of which pulsated with energy. (2,500 ATK) -) (4,000 ATK)
"It doesn't matter how many Attack Points that that thing has!" Buck insisted. "Mah Matador Fiend will make quick work of it!"
"It won't get the chance!" Ed responded, catching the half-orc off-guard. "I'm implementing phase two of my plan for victory! I Flip-Summon my facedown Gemknight Alexand!"
The horizontal card back vanished, and a whole new Gemknight sprang up. His armor was bright silver, and it was studded with gems of every color of the rainbow. (1,800 ATK)
"An' ah'm supposed ta be afraid o' that?" Buck snorted.
"Nope," Ed chirped. "Because he won't be around for long. I'm activating his special ability—by sacrificing him, I can take any Normal 'Gemknight' Monster from my deck and Special Summon it to the field! I choose another Gemknight Ganet!"
Gemknight Alexand dissolved on the spot, leaving only his jewels, which rose up in the air and began to spin around. The garnet took center stage, and all the other gems turned to reflect light into it. There was a bright flash of light, and when it faded, Gemknight Ganet had returned.
"Ah still don't see how this gets yeh any closer ta beatin' me," Buck sneered.
"GIVE ME A MINUTE, WILL YOU!" the familiar squawked, before regaining his composure. "Now, it's time! Gemknight Ganet, attack his Picador Fiend!"
Ganet conjured up a large ball of fire, but Buck just laughed.
"As if ah'll ever let yeh touch mah Picador Fiend, bird!" he cackled. "Ah'm usin' the power o' mah Dark Arena ta switch the target ta Matador Fiend instead!"
Ganet threw the fireball at the large-winged Fiend with all its might.
Matador Fiend easily dodged the fireball and then lunged at Ganet, jamming a claw right through its heart and blowing it to shards.
"That's just what I was hoping for!" Ed laughed. "Now I can activate this! Go, Death and Rebirth!"
One of Ed's facedown cards lifted up, revealing a Trap card bearing the image of Gemini Elf engulfed in a purple light as Swordstalker and Gene-Warped Warwolf charged them.
"This card only works when a Normal Monster on my field is destroyed during the Battle Phase. Now, I can destroy any Monster on the field that I want, so adios, Matador Fiend!"
A burst of divine light shot out of the Trap card and struck Matador Fiend, which screamed bloody murder and burst into pixels on the spot.
"And, even better, it brings back the Monster I just lost!"
The Trap vanished, and Gemknight Ganet reappeared, looking as good as new.
"Now for a rematch," the familiar chuckled. "Gemknight Ganet, finally destroy his Picador Fiend!"
Eagerly, Ganet conjured another fireball and shot it straight into the demon's ribcage, burning it to a crisp.
(E: 1,200) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 5,300)
"Your Dark Arena's pretty useless without extra Monsters to protect your attackers!" Ed taunted. "And the worst is still yet to come! Gemknight Rubys, attack directly! Ultra-infrared blast!"
Rubys leapt up, twirling its weapon, charged up a strong burst of energy, and fired it just as it landed on the ground, sending a massive blast right into Buck's chest. Buck was blown back into the counter of the bar, and several mugs dropped down and shattered.
(E: 1,200) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 1,300)
"Now the scores are almost tied," the parrot commented as Buck grabbed on to the counter for balance and hoisted himself up. "And you have no Monsters on the field. Make your move, orc spawn."
Buck's face went bright red and his mouth foamed up even more as he drew what could be his very last card. When he looked at it, though, he began to grin wide, and drool ran down his chin, making him look downright insane.
"Oh, ah'll make mah move, all right," he declared, a manic twinkle in his watery little eyes. "Because now, it's time to bring out the clincher in mah deck!
"Ah'll start by activatin' Fulfillment of the Contract, which'll let me bring back Matador Fiend fer the low, low cost o' only eight-hundred Life Points!"
The bartender played the card and his Life Points went down slightly as Matador Fiend emerged from the ground.
(E: 1,200) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 500)
"Oh, great," Leanne groaned. "It's back! I thought we were rid of it for good!"
"You are," Buck snickered. "Ah jus' needed ta bring it back ta make use o' him one last time!
"Now, I sacrifice mah indestructible Matador Fiend ta make way fer a whole new level o' terror! Tremble in fear o' the great MACARENA FIEND!"
Matador Fiend vanished into thin air, and in its place rose a new, even more terrifying demon. This one was clearly female, and dressed in a torn and ragged dress. Her face was hidden behind a white, grinning mask, and her long, dark hair was completely tangled up. She stared ahead at her opponents and raised her hands high. Sharp, deadly talons erupted from them. (2,100 ATK)
Ed and Leanne, however, stared at this new Monster not with fear, but confusion.
"'Macarena'?" Leanne echoed. "You mean like the dance?"
"No!" Buck snapped. "It's a village in Spain, and yer missin' the point! Ah've just won this duel!"
"How so?" Ed asked. "I mean, yeah, that new Monster of yours is pretty strong, but she can't wipe me out just by destroying Ganet, and Rubys is almost twice as strong!"
"It doesn' matter!" the bartender growled. "She won' be fightin' either of 'em!"
"And why is that?" the parrot sneered.
"See fer yerself," was Buck's reply. "Get ready fer some déjà vu."
Macarena Fiend laughed her maniacal laugh and focused her gaze on the two Gemknights. Her eyes glowed red, and Ganet and Rubys gasped in fright, and that was the last thing they ever did as their bodies turned hard and grey.
In just a few seconds, they had turned to stone, and when that happened, Macarena Fiend smashed them with her bare hands.
"What have you done?" Leanne gulped. Her snakes went silent in shock.
"Nothin'," Buck replied. "That was jus' Macarena Fiend's special ability. Yeh see, when Dark Arena is active, like it's been fer several turns now, she automatically destroys any Monster that was Special Summoned, whether she was there when it happened or not!
"And, now that yer field is cleared o' Monsters, I reckon it's time I wrapped this up. Macarena Fiend, attack directly! Slice that bird to ribbons!"
Leanne winced in fright, closing her eyes to try and shield herself from the end as the wicked demon approached, but Ed had other ideas. He hit a button on the Duel Disk just before the Fiend struck, which sent the two sprawling back.
"AH WIN!" Buck laughed, pumping his fist. "AH BEAT A SHADOWCHASER! I—wait, why haven't the holograms disappeared yet?"
"Because this duel isn't over yet," Ed replied, landing on Leanne's shoulder as she struggled to her feet. "Check the scores. See for yourself."
Enraged, the half-orc looked at the score.
(E: 100) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 500)
"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?" he raged. "Mah Macarena Fiend had more'n enough power ta finish yeh off!"
"Until I activated my facedown Emergency Provisions," Ed corrected. "I ditched my facedown Soul Resurrection—it's useless thanks to that Macarena Fiend's ability, anyway—to pad my Life Points just before she struck."
"Nice one, Ed!" Leanne cheered. "I really thought you were done for there!"
"HE STILL IS!" Buck insisted, the foam working up around his mouth and making him look downright rabid. "DON' YEH GET IT? YEH'RE JUS' LIKE A BULL IN THIS ARENA! NO MATTER WHAT, YER FINISHED! YEH HAVE NOTHIN' ON YER FIELD, NOTHIN' IN YER HAND, AN' ANY MONSTER YEH SPECIAL SUMMON WILL BE DESTROYED IN AN INSTANT! FACE IT, BIRD! YEH'VE LOST!"
There was a long silence, punctuated only by Buck's heavy breathing.
"You finished?" Ed finally asked, his tone perfectly calm. "Because I'd like to make my move."
"Go ahead!" Buck snarled. "The sooner yeh lose, the sooner ah can get back ta business!"
"My, my, Buck," Ed muttered. "You certainly do have a high opinion of yourself."
Leanne started to draw a card, but Ed interrupted her.
"Actually, Leanne," he whispered. "I'd like to draw this one for myself. I don't know if the Heart of the Cards is for real, but it certainly couldn't hurt to try. Let's face it—I need a miracle here."
Leanne nodded, and Ed climbed onto the Duel Disk, clinging to the side with his feet. Slowly, gently, he took a card from the top of his deck and moved it into one of his feet, and finally he turned it around.
"You know, Buck," he said, upon seeing what the card was. "I'm reminded of another joke right now."
"Oh, please don't tell another one!" Leanne begged. "That last one may keep me up at night for years to come!"
"Don't worry," the familiar assured. "This one isn't dirty.
"You see, a man walks into a doctor's office and says 'Doctor, I think I've broken every bone in my body! If I touch my arm, it hurts, if I touch my leg, it hurts, if I touch my back, it hurts, and if I touch my head, it hurts!'
"The doctor replies 'Sir, I think you've broken your finger.'"
Leanne actually giggled a little at that one, though Buck was too distracted by rage.
"The point is," Ed explained. "That sometimes a problem looks impossibly bad, but in reality it's quite minor if you know what you're dealing with. That's what's going on right now."
"What're yeh getting at, yeh flying dustmop?" Buck sneered.
"I'm saying that I"ve won this duel," the familiar chuckled. "Watch this: I summon Gemknight Opa!"
He placed the card onto his Duel Disk and a new Monster appeared. It was covered in armor, like all the other Gemknights, but it was far, far smaller than any of the others, and it shimmered with a rainbow light. (600 ATK)
"An' what's so great about that pipsqueak?" the half-orc growled. "It's a weakling!"
"In terms of Attack Points, yes," Ed agreed. "But his ability is very, very useful. You see, during my Main Phase, I can choose any Monster in the Graveyard, and Opa becomes that Monster."
"So? There's nothin' in yer Graveyard that can help you now!"
"You need to clean out your ears, Buck," Ed laughed. "I said the Graveyard, not my Graveyard! I'm choosing one from yours, namely your Picador Fiend!"
Opa nodded and began to shine brighter and brighter. Its colors shifted around, and after a moment it looked like…well, like Gemknight Opa had been painted to look like Picador Fiend, without the horse. It wasn't very intimidating.
"And, more importantly is Gemknight Opa's other ability! He can attack the opponent directly!"
Buck began to sweat, but stopped after a second and grinned.
"Oh, no he can't!" he announced. "Like yeh said, Dark Arena is still active, so ah can jus' redirect the attack to mah Macarena Fiend an' finish yeh off!"
"And like you said, Buck," the parrot sneered. "Dark Arena's attack-guiding effect doesn't apply if a player controls a Monster with 'Fiend' in its name!"
"But yeh don't!" the bartender argued.
"Yes, I do," Ed informed him. "Gemknight Opa is now Picador Fiend, remember?"
Buck said nothing, but his jaw hit the floor.
"That's right. I've won. Now, Gemkni—I mean, Picador Fiend, attack Buck directly and finish this duel!"
The Picador Fiend replica nodded and glowed bright green, sending a barrage of green embers at the half-orc. Macarena Fiend jumped over to intercept the attack, but she missed by mere inches, and the embers hit their mark, nailing Buck right in his porcine nose.
(E: 100) - - - - - - - - - - (B: 0)
Buck's face turned an even brighter shade of crimson as the Duel Disks shut down and the holograms vanished.
"Okay, buddy," Leanne spoke up. "You know the rules. You lost the duel, so you're going straight to the Shadow correctional facility."
Buck didn't reply at first, except for his heavy breathing as Leanne inched toward Grant.
"FORGET THE RULES!" he screamed, just before she could reach into the Shadowchaser's pocket. "AH'M NOT LETTIN' A GORGON AN' A FLYIN' DUSTMOP RUIN MAH NEW BUSINESS! IF AH CAN'T BEAT YEH IN A DUEL, AH'LL DO IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY!"
Reaching behind the desk, Buck pulled out a crowbar. Leanne made a swift grab for the gem in Grant's pocket to transport Buck to jail, but the bartender struck her in the side before she could get her hand on it. He slammed her into a wall and raised the crowbar to finish her off.
Just before the monstrous Shadow-touched could bring it down, though, he vanished into thin air.
Stunned, Leanne looked at the petrified Grant to find Ed perching one-legged on the base of his master's moustache, the gem clutched in his foot.
"Oh, thank goodness!" she sighed. "Ed, that's the second time today you've saved me from a beating."
"And don't you forget it," the bird responded. "Now, can you please get to a phone and call in somebody to restore Grant? It's almost dinnertime, and I'm starved!"
"Of course, of course," Leanne replied. "And again, I really am sorry about that."
"Yeah, I know," Ed assured her.
"By the way," she suddenly said. "Does the Treaty really state that a familiar can take its master's place in a duel like that?"
"Eh," Ed answered. "It's a grey area. I am his savant in numerous ways, and I'd say this duel will stand up in a court of Shadow, especially since he fell for my bluff and accepted the challenge."
Leanne took all of this in and smiled. "You're quite the tricky little bird, aren't you?"
"No kidding. Oh, hey, wanna hear another joke? I've got some real gut-busters!"
"Uh, no."
"Oh, come on!"
…..(you get it now?)…
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
PICADOR FIEND (Monster Card)
Card Specs
Type: Fiend/Effect
Attribute: Dark
Level: 4
ATK: 1,600
DEF: 0
Card Description: When "Dark Arena" is active on your side of the field, this card can attack your opponent directly.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
BANDERILLERO FIEND (Monster Card)
Card Specs
Type: Fiend/Effect
Attribute: Dark
Level: 3
ATK: 900
DEF: 900
Card Description: This card cannot attack on the round that it is Normal Summoned, Flip-Summoned, or Special Summoned. When this card is Normal Summoned successfully, destroy one opposing Monster.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
MATADOR FIEND (Monster Card)
Card Specs
Type: Fiend/Ritual/Effect
Attribute: Dark
Level: 6
ATK: 0
DEF: 0
Card Description: This card is Ritual Summoned with the Ritual Spell card "Ritual of the Matador". You must also offer as a Tribute from the field or your hand Monsters whose total levels equal six or more. When this card battles with another Monster, reduce the battle damage to this card to zero and destroy the opposing Monster.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
RITUAL OF THE MATADOR (Spell Card)
Ritual Spell
Image: An altar resembling the interior of a fanged mouth.
Card Description: This card is used to Ritual Summon "Matador Fiend". You must offer as a Tribute from the field or your hand Monsters whose total levels equal six or more.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
DARK ARENA (Spell Card)
Field Spell
Image: A fiendish bullfighting arena shrouded in darkness.
Card Description: When this card is in play, all Monsters in Attack Position must attack whenever they are able. If a player's Monster does not have "Fiend" in its name, his/her opponent may choose the target of the attack for that Monster.
Note: The preceding five cards were first used by Taitan in the "Yu-Gi-Oh! GX" episode "A Reason to Win". Creative credit goes to the writers of that episode.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
AKHASHIC RECORD (Spell Card)
Normal Spell
Image: A group of dinosaur bones and a large dinosaur skull.
Card Description: Draw two cards from your deck. If you have used any copies of either of the two drawn cards previously in the duel, remove all copies of the previously used card(s) from your hand, deck, field, and Graveyard.
Note: This card was first used by Johan Andersen (possessed by Yubel) in the "Yu-Gi-Oh! GX" episode "The Ultimate Face-Off—Part 2". Creative credit goes to the writers of that episode.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
DEATH AND REBIRTH (Trap Card)
Normal Trap
Image: Gemini Elf surrounded by a purple light as Swordstalker and Gene-Warped Warwolf attack.
Card Description: Activate only when a Normal Monster you control is destroyed during your Battle Phase. Destroy 1 Monster your opponent controls and Special Summon the destroyed Normal Monster in face-up Attack Position. That Monster must attack this turn.
Note: This card was first used by Yuki Judai in the final episode of "Yu-Gi-Oh! GX". Creative credit goes to the writers of that episode.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
MACARENA FIEND (Monster Card)
Card Specs
Type: Fiend/Effect
Attribute: Dark
Level: 6
ATK: 2,100
DEF: 1,000
Card Description: This card cannot be Special Summoned. When this card and "Dark Arena" are both on the field, all Monsters that were Special Summoned are destroyed.
Note: This card was created by Cyber Commander and is used with his permission. Creative credit goes to him.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
INFERNAL MULETA (Trap Card)
Normal Trap
Image: Picador Fiend fighting the skeleton of a bull in Dark Arena, holding a red cape and laughing.
Card Description: Select a Fiend-type Monster on your field. Until the end of the turn, the chosen Monster cannot be destroyed in battle (damage calculation is applied normally).
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
GEMKNIGHT METHYST (Monster Card)
Card Specs
Type: Rock
Attribute: Earth
Level: 4
ATK: 1,200
DEF: 1,600
Card Description: Lacking in both brute strength and special powers, the commander of amethyst is easily the weakest of the Gemknights. However, they all agree that she has immense potential.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
GEMKNIGHT OPA (Monster Card)
Card Specs
Type: Rock/Effect
Attribute: Earth
Level: 2
ATK: 600
DEF: 300
Card Description: This card can attack your opponent directly. Once per turn, during your Main Phase, you may select a Monster in either player's Graveyard. Until the End Phase, this card's name is treated as the selected Monster's.
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
(YEAH! THAT GOT THE CREATIVE JUICES FLOWING! Ah, that was a great break from other projects, AND I CAN TELL THAT WHEN I GO BACK TO THEM, I'LL BE BACK ON TOP OF MY GAME! Bonus! Well, anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. NOTHING LEFT TO SAY BUT LEAVE LONG REVIEWS AND PUT THIS STORY ON ALERT TO WATCH FOR UPDATES! THANKS!)