Shadowchasers: Miscellaneous Files Chapter 5: Stage Fight, a yu-gi-oh! 5d's fanfic

(GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK!

Okay, first thing I have to say is the answer to the quiz I gave my readers last chapter, about the third great power in Teodahr's deck. THE ANSWER WAS LITMUS DOOM SWORDSMAN. Nobody correctly guessed it. WHATEVER. It wasn't meant to be a big secret, anyway. I just wanted to see how astute my readers could be.

BUT ON TO THIS CHAPTER. In it, you may find yourself starting off with the idea "this is a cliché". IF YOU DO, STOP IMMEDIATELY. This chapter, which has been burrowing in my brain since I decided to write a Shadowchasers fic, has more twists and turns than you can imagine. I just ask that you keep an open mind in the beginning. If you do, YOU'LL BE VERY SATISFIED AT THE END.

As for the disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER THAT I DIDN'T MAKE UP MYSELF, AND EVEN THAT'S IFFY. Happy? Okay.)

Shadowchasers: Miscellaneous Files

Stage Fight

Why do I always get the weirdoes? Seriously, even for a Shadowchaser, I end up dealing with a lot of weird crap. And here I am, yet again, in a situation that even my stoner cousin would find surreal. *sigh* Whatever. Here goes nothing.

Not all Shadowchasers watch over a single city. Many of them travel around sparsely populated areas and have no true base. But another, far rarer case is when a group of Shadowchasers holds jurisdiction over multiple very close cities, and the best example of this is the Twin Cities Shadowchasers. Not only do they represent the cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, but also the surrounding suburbs like White Bear and Bloomington.

The headquarters itself was located in an upscale neighborhood in St. Paul near the Mississippi River, in the form of a grand old brick house, and it was in this house on a cool autumn Saturday evening that our short story begins.

It was getting late into the evening, and three of the house's four residents were out to dinner at some Vietnamese restaurant. Sonya was the only one of the four who had stayed behind, for her own reasons, and it was lucky she had because if she hadn't she wouldn't have been there to answer the phone when it rang.

"Hello?" she said, picking up, and immediately she turned on the videophone's monitor, where she was greeted with the image of a very beautiful, but very distressed-looking elf in a blue sequined gown. There was a lot of muffled shouting going on and a lot more panicked elves running around behind her.

"Yes, hello," the elf said, sounding unsure as she stared at Sonya. "Have I reached the Twin Cities Shadowchasers?"

Sonya couldn't blame her for being unsure. She didn't look very professional, seeing as her hair was cut down to bristles and her clothes were old and torn. Still, she gave the elf one of her trademark glares. Her thick eyebrows and small grey eyes were perfect for the job.

"That's right," Sonya told her, but the elf continued to stare.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "It's just…well, you look so…"

"Look," Sonya interjected, her tone now much more harsh. "I may not be about to be named 'best-dressed Shadowchaser', but I guarantee you I'm a qualified officer. Now, either stop staring and state your business or hang up."

The elf fidgeted a bit, clearly embarrassed, but finally spoke up. "My name's Calliope. I'm in a theater troupe. A rather successful one, if I do say so myself, and we recently did a few shows right here in your Ordway. We're about to start our last performance of a year-long tour, and a few of our, uh, actors …well, they ran off."

"What happened before that, exactly?" Sonya inquired. "Was there some sort of argument?"

"No!" Calliope wailed. "No warning at all! They just disappeared, they don't have understudies, and it's too close to the opening curtain to go looking for them ourselves! Please, I need you to find them and bring them back here before the curtain rises in one hour!"

"Well," Sonya replied. "This is a pickle, but I don't really see what jurisdiction I have to do anything about it…"

"One of them stole my new Pocket Disk and deck," the elf said quickly. "Is that enough of a reason?"

Sonya raised her eyebrows and nodded.

"Good. I've already tracked the Duel Disk's serial number online. It's across the river, but not very far—somewhere near the Wabasha Street Caves. There are five actors in all, but I'm sure they're still together. It's in their nature. Also, they're not naturally violent to my knowledge, but even if they become violent, they're not very strong. And remember, don't arrest them. Just bring them back to the Ordway before the show starts at 7:30 and we won't press charges. Okay?"

"I'll do my best," Sonya assured.

"Thanks," Calliope said, letting out a huge sigh. "You're a lifesaver."

A few minutes later, Sonya had grabbed her deck and Duel Disk (which was top-of-the-line in every way, but completely uncustomized), strapped them to her back, and had jumped on her D-Wheel (also state-of-the-art, but uncustomized) and was off. Traffic was a nightmare at this time on a Saturday, even with the new D-Wheel lane. Luckily, both the Ordway Center for the Performing Arts and the Wabasha Street Caves were very nearby—just a straight shot downtown, and Sonya knew the area like the back of her hand.

She was across the river and down Wabasha Street when she saw them—six dark figures by the road, four men and two women, and all roughly the same size and shape, clothed in black spandex bodysuits that covered everything but their eyes, pointed ears, and hands, and each carrying something lumpy and fuzzy, save for the last two, who shared one.

Six people?, Sonya thought to herself. Calliope said there were five…

Whatever doubt she had was removed when she got close enough to hear the figures talking amongst themselves.

"I don't think I can make it much farther, guys," one of the men complained in a nasally voice.

"Then stop thinking, Rod, and focus on doing!" said another one, this one female with a very haughty tone.

"Hey, lay off him, Lucy!" snapped another voice, coming from one of the two sharing a…thing (Sonya couldn't tell which one). "We've been walking nonstop for miles, and my buddy needs a rest!"

"Too bad!" Lucy snarled. "We need to put as much distance as we can between us and that theater before they come after us!"

"They're not coming after you," Sonya chuckled, causing all of them to turn toward her. "That's why they sent me."

All six of the figures turned to her, and Sonya realized what they had been carrying: puppets!

As everyone with a TV knew, the play that the elves were performing was the Broadway show Avenue Q, a musical comedy satirizing the issues of entering adulthood, and most of the characters were Muppet-style puppets, parodying characters from Sesame Street. The actors must have stolen the puppets when they ran off to ensure that the show wouldn't go on.

There was a moment of silence, but finally, the woman who hadn't said anything yet spoke up.

"CHEESE IT!"

All six of the elves bolted down the sidewalk at top speed, and Sonya leapt off her D-Wheel (activating the security system as she did) and ran after them. They ran right past an empty parking lot and a small café to a door in an ivy-covered brick building built into the nearby sandstone cliff. There was a big sign right above the door that read "WABASHA STREET CAVES".

The first elf to reach the door grabbed the knob and screamed in frustration.

"It's locked!"

All of the elves began shaking in fear, as did their puppets.

"Of course it is," Sonya said, catching up to them. "The next tour isn't for three hours. Of course, if you really want to see it, I can let you in."

Smiling, she reached into her pocket, pulled out a key, unlocked the door, and flung it wide open.

"Go on," Sonya told them, speaking a bit more gently. "Go inside. I just want to talk."

The elves cast her and each other suspicious glances, but finally walked inside, and Sonya followed them, flicking on the lights as she did.

The first room of the Wabasha Street Caves doesn't look at all like a cave. It looked like a big empty ballroom with a stage on one end.

Now that she had some decent lighting, Sonya was finally able to get a good look at the elves, only to discover that they all looked pretty much the same, especially with those black bodysuits. In fact, the only easy way to tell them apart was by the puppets they carried. They were mostly built the same—made of brightly-colored felt with plastic eyes, worn on the right arm, the hand of which operated a hinged mouth, with the puppet's arms operated by metal wands sticking out of their hands and their bodies ending at the waist, but their features were very different. The first puppet was bright orange, with thick black hair, and wearing a blue long-sleeved shirt under a diamond-patterned sweater vest with his right arm sewn to his stomach. The second, operated by one of the women, was a girl with dark brown hair and beige fur all over her face and arms, with big blue eyes and a round green nose, clothed in a purple shirt and green skirt. Like the first, her right arm was stitched to her stomach. The third, held by the guy named Rod, was blue, with a square head topped by flaming orange hair that was made to look neatly combed. He had a green nose, like the girl, and was dressed in a dark suit with an orange tie. The fourth, manned by the woman called Lucy, was pink, with heavily-lidded plastic eyes, red lips, a mole on her right cheek, and lots of curly blonde hair. She was dressed in a blue cocktail dress with a hole cut in the chest, exposing her puppet cleavage, and a pink boa was attached to her wrists and wrapped around her back. She was wearing a gold necklace that formed something in cursive, but Sonya couldn't make it out. And the fifth, the one operated by two men, was built a little differently. He was green, with a round head, a big orange nose, and messy black hair, and dressed in a brown hoodie that said "NEW YORK" on the front. Unlike the others, his hands didn't have wands in them. Instead, each of his two handlers inserted one of their arms into his at the elbows and allowed his hands to open and close, and the one controlling his left hand also operated his mouth. The other elf's left hand was carrying a small duffel bag.

"Weird," Sonya commented under her breath.

The elves just stared, and something seemed odd about their eyes. The expression in them was just…blank.

Sonya sighed, then spoke again. "You like this place? I volunteer here twice a month, giving tours.

"These aren't actually caves, you know. They're mines. Manmade. Carved out for mushroom farming.

"They became much more in the 1920s, when they were turned into a restaurant and nightclub called the Wabasha Street Speakeasy. Local legend is that big-name gangsters like John Dillinger and Ma Barker frequented the place. Cool, huh?"

The elves just stared at her, not responding.

"Okay," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "So you're not interested in history. Well, I might as well cut to the chase. Why did you run out on your troop?"

"Because we fucking hate 'em!" the elf with the orange puppet screamed, catching her by surprise. His voice was very cheerful and innocent, which clashed with the wild fury in his tone. He was a pretty good ventriloquist, too. The voice seemed to come right out of the puppet as its mouth moved.

"Those jerks don't care about us and we don't care about them!" sneered Rod. His voice came out of the puppet, too, and he expertly worked the wands to make it cross its arms.

Sonya stepped back, but then frowned and held her head in annoyance. "Okay," she said. "I'm more than willing to talk this out, but only if you take this seriously and drop those stupid puppets."

"Who're you calling 'stupid'?" demanded the woman with the furry puppet, its hand swinging out. Like the orange puppeteer, her angry tone contradicted her sweet voice. "In fact, who are you, period?"

"Oh, right," Sonya smirked. "I'm Sonya Clarkson, of the Twin Cities Shadowchasers. But I'm sure that was obvious."

That only earned more blank stares, until the puppeteer named Lucy spoke up, via her scantily-clad puppet.

"What's a Shadowchaser?"

Sonya did an anime fall on the spot.

"W-what?" she exclaimed, jumping back onto her feet. "How can a bunch of elves not know about the Shadowchasers?"

"I'm sure the elves do," replied the orange puppeteer, still going along with the act. "But not us."

Sonya gave him a suspicious look. "What do you mean by that?"

"What he means is that we're not elves," explained the furry one. "We're doll golems who just happen to be stuck with these elves for now."

That cleared a few things up for Sonya. She had been mistaken. These weren't a bunch of insane elves who spoke through their instruments. They were the opposite—puppets who moved through their handlers. Calliope really had been missing only five actors!

(WE INTERRUPT THIS CHAPTER FOR AN INFORMATIVE—BUT THANKFULLY SHORT—EDUCATIONAL MOMENT)

Doll golems are small figures brought to life, usually for the purpose of entertaining. Though much smaller and weaker than most types of golems, they are known for being much smarter. In fact, numerous stories are based on the idea of doll golems, most notably Carlo Collodi's famous novel Pinocchio.

(THIS CONCLUDES OUR EDUCATIONAL MOMENT. DON'T WORRY, THERE WON'T BE ANOTHER ONE ANYTIME SOON)

"Okay," Sonya sighed. "You're runaway doll golems. That figures."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" the blue puppet (who must've been Rod) sneered.

"Nothing!" Sonya said, putting up her hands in defense. "Anyway, you asked about Shadowchasers? Well, we're like police, except we specialize in the crimes of Shadowkind."

"Only Shadowkind?" the furry doll golem asked. "You're a little bit racist."

Sonya couldn't tell for sure, since the doll golems seemed incapable of moving their faces except for opening and closing their mouths, but it sounded like she was making a joke.

"Uh, yeah…" she replied. "Well, would you mind telling me who you are?"

"Sure," the furry golem told her, a bit more cheerfully. "I'm Kate Monster, and that's Princeton, Rod, Nicky, and Lucy," she said, pointing to the orange, blue, green, and pink golems, respectively.

"Better known as Lucy the Slut," Lucy smirked, pushing up her puppet breasts.

"Nice to meet you," Sonya told them, ignoring the pink puppet's supposedly sultry gestures. "Now, if you'll just come with me, I think we can make it back to the Ordway just in time for the opening curtain."

At her words, all of the elves took a step back.

"Forget it!" Princeton told her. "My purpose may be acting, but not under those slave drivers!"

"They make us feel special for an hour or two," Lucy added. "But after that, we're little more than props!"

"Fantasies come true," Rod agreed. "But only to those who actually work toward them."

"If we were free I'd shout hooray," Nicky sighed. "But we're not free."

"There's a fine, fine line between love and a waste of time," Kate finished. "I love acting, but we're wasting our time trying to get respect out of those elves."

Sonya gave them another strange look. "I'm guessing you're making references to your play?"

"Of course!" Princeton responded. "Didn't you see it?"

Upon hearing this, Sonya's cheeks turned as pink as Lucy.

"Well, uh…no," she confessed. "My, uh, my teammates went to see it last night, but I…"

"Couldn't afford it?" Nicky finished.

"No," Sonya replied. "I just…don't like spending my boss's money."

The doll golems cocked their heads, but didn't say anything.

"Let me explain. You see, Shadowchasers aren't actually paid, per se. Instead, we each receive a debit card linked to one of our boss Jalal's private accounts, since he's richer than several countries. He lets us use it for essentials, and the occasional treat. He even allows major purchases once in a while if we consult him first, but I've never really felt comfortable using it. I just don't like spending money that isn't mine."

"You have access to a fortune and you're complaining?" Nicky growled, balling his fists. "I'd give my left eye just to get some compensation for my work!"

"Or at least some respect…" Rod added.

"Those elves created us to make the performance as real as possible," Princeton explained. "But that's all they ever saw in us. We're sentient beings, and they saw us as less than slaves."

"We may not need food or lodging," Kate sighed. "But we could still use the money for something—like Duel Monsters cards."

"You play?" Sonya inquired. "I knew you stole Calliope's Pocket Disk and deck, but…"

"We love dueling!" Kate replied. "We watched the elves doing it to pass the time and learned all about it. We see it as a type of acting exercise that we thought was impossible: scripted improv! You have choices, but there are still rules and limits. Plus, it's really fun."

"Sometimes we grabbed the decks while we were in storage and played a quick game or two," Princeton said. "It was one of the few good things in our lives."

"That's why we took a few decks and Calliope's Duel Disk when we left," Lucy explained. "Well, that and some cash and tools…"

"Okay, then," Sonya said with a smile. "How about a duel, right here and now? If I win, you all agree to go back to the Ordway with me and do your final performance."

"And if you lose?" Rod asked.

"Then I look the other way while you escape."

The golems all turned their heads and looked at each other, then turned back to the Shadowchaser and nodded. "Deal!" they said in unison.

"Great," Sonya responded. "Now, which of you will be my opponent?"

"Kate," Princeton answered automatically. "She's the best."

Kate turned to Princeton and laughed. "Me?" she chirped. "All right. Nicky, can you get me Calliope's Pocket Disk? And her deck, too? That one's my favorite."

"You got it, Kate."

Immediately, the elf holding the duffel bag dropped it to the floor, and both of Nicky's handlers kneeled down, allowing him to unzip and rummage through it.

"How are you doing that, anyway?" Sonya couldn't help asking.

"What, control the elves?" Princeton laughed. "Oh, that's easy. You see, shortly after we were created, there was some trouble in rehearsal. Our movements and that of our handlers were sort of…clashing. It didn't look natural. So, the elves remedied it by casting a little spell on us that let us sort of guide the movements of whoever wears us. It wasn't supposed to let us completely control them, but as actors, the elves were very suggestible. Lucy was the first to figure it out, and she taught it to the rest of us. Of course, we had to keep it secret until we worked out a plan—"

"Found it!" Nicky announced, pulling something out of the bag. It wasn't a Duel Disk or deck, though. It was a short, sharp knife.

"Hey!" Sonya objected. "What're you—?"

"Hold still, Kate," Nicky said. He reached out and used his knife to cut the stitches on Kate's right arm.

"Oh, that feels good!" Kate laughed, testing her new arm by swinging her it around. "That's been sewn down since I was made!"

"Can it hold any weight?" Nicky asked as he cut the threads on Princeton's arm, then put the knife away and dug through the bag once again.

"Not much," Kate told him. "But a Pocket Disk is pretty light."

"Yeah," Princeton said as Nicky pulled out a device the size of a cell phone with a strap on one side and a dueling deck. "Good thing those elves travel a lot. All their stuff is really small and portable for convenience. The Disk and deck together can't weigh more than two ounces."

Nicky strapped the device to Kate's right wrist and hit a button on it. It expanded and flattened, turning into a lightweight left-handed Duel Disk. Then he handed her the deck and she inserted it into the Disk.

At the same time, Sonya took the Duel Disk off of her back and inserted her own deck.

"Okay, Sonya," Kate laughed. "Get ready to experience the true terror of the stage!"

"A Kabuki deck, eh?" Sonya chuckled. "I've faced far worse."

"Oh, it's far more dangerous than a Kabuki deck," Lucy laughed. "As you'll soon find out."

It's about the stage, but not a Kabuki deck?, Sonya thought as the holo-imagers shot out of their decks. What could it be?

(Sonya: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (Kate Monster: 8,000)

"By all means, Kate," Sonya suggested as they drew their opening hands. "You take the first turn."

"Why thank you," Kate said, drawing a sixth card. Her fingers were very stubby, and she seemed to be having a little trouble, but she managed to put her cards into her right hand.

She examined her cards for a second, then took one and set it horizontally on her Disk.

"I'll just set a Monster in Defense Mode," she said as its hologram appeared in front of her. "And that's all for now."

Sonya drew a card, then stared at her hand and smiled.

"You know another reason that these caves attract tourists?" she smirked. "It's because they're haunted."

"Haunted?" Nicky repeated. "Really?"

"Yep. Supposedly, the bodies from a shootout were buried in some of the back caverns, and the restless spirits of the dead gangsters live on in these caves."

"And what does this have to do with anything?" Lucy asked, crossing her arms.

"I'm telling you this to inform you that things don't always stay dead, as you're about to see."

She took a card from her hand and inserted it into her Disk.

"I activate Dark World Dealings. Now we each draw one card, and then discard one."

Kate sighed, but snatched a card off of her deck and added it to her hand, then chose another and slipped it into her Graveyard. Sonya did the same, but she was much faster.

"And now," she smirked. "Since I just discarded Sillva, Warlord of Dark World, I can activate its effect and Special Summon it to the field!"

A deep, throaty chuckle sounded in the cavern, and a shadow appeared on the floor in front of Sonya. It shot up and materialized into a muscular, ugly demon with big wings and claws, dressed in silver armor and holding a sword. Its horned head was hideous, and even uglier was the fact that it had two faces. Its head would look exactly the same if turned upside-down. (2,300 ATK)

"And now, to bolster my forces, I'll also summon Beiige, Vanguard of Dark World!"

She set another card on her Disk, and another Fiend appeared. It was smaller than Sillva, but just as ugly, with a face like a skull and ropy, wrinkled skin. He was dressed in armor made from bone, and he carried a spear in one hand. (1,600 ATK)

"Next, to add to their power, I activate the Field Spell, Mystic Plasma Zone!"

The Field Spell slot on her Duel Disk opened up, and she placed a card inside. It slid shut, and a thick, dark fog spread out from the Disk. It grew and grew, obscuring the ballroom until all they could see was an ugly swirling vortex of darkness.

"This is not my kind of place," Rod said with a shiver.

"Perhaps not," Sonya told him. "But my Fiends love it, because it grants all Dark Monsters five-hundred Attack Points, all for the measly cost of four-hundred Defense Points."

Beiige and Sillva sneered and hefted their weapons as a dark aura surrounded them. (1,600/1,300) -) (2,100/900) (2,300/1,400) -) (2,800/1,000)

"Now, Beiige, destroy her Monster! Dark World spear!"

Beiige leapt over to the defensive Monster and stabbed it with his spear. It flipped over, revealing an ancient man in dark purple robes and a curved and pointed purple hat. He let out a groan before he shattered into pixels.

Sonya's blinked and did a double-take. "Wait!" she cried. "Was that…the Dark Sage? You can't just put him on the field! And even if you could, Beiige shouldn't have been able to destroy him, even with Mystic Plasma Zone!"

Kate let out an amused laugh.

"Oh, that wasn't the actual Dark Sage," she elaborated. "It was a Monster called Method Actor—Wise Elder."

"Method Actor?" Sonya echoed, frowning.

"Yes. He plays the Dark Sage. Quite well, I might add. He's not as strong as the real deal, of course, but he's still got a useful ability. When he's destroyed, I get to take a certain card from my deck and add it to my hand."

She reached over to her Pocket Disk and pulled out the deck. It wasn't easy, since she had a wire coming right out of her hand, and it was made even harder because she was unable to open it up and search for the card she wanted. "Oh!" she said cheerfully, and suddenly her handler let go of the wand and took the deck, displaying to her the cards within. She took one and added it to her hand, the elf replaced the deck, and the Disk's auto-shuffler kicked in.

"O-kay…" Sonya said, staring at the strange display. "Anyway, now I'll just attack directly with Sillva…"

Sillva ran forward and slashed the puppet with his sword, knocking her and the elf holding her backward. They would have fallen on the elf's back if Nicky and Princeton hadn't caught and righted them.

(S: 8,000) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 5,200)

"You okay?" Sonya asked, staring at the furry doll golem.

"I'll be fine," Kate assured her. "I've never dueled with a Disk before. It's more intense than I thought."

"It takes some getting used to, all right," Sonya agreed. "Anyway, I activate the Continuous Spell Card, Dangerous Machine Type-6."

She inserted a card into one of her Disk's Spell Zones, and, with a loud rumble, a giant, spherical machine appeared behind her. It looked like a giant generator of some sort, with six white spheres arranged around a screen in a hexagonal formation, labeled with the numbers one through six, and a giant slot machine lever on one side.

"During each of my Standby Phases, my Machine will activate one of six effects at random," she explained. "For now, though, I end my turn."

"Finally," Lucy muttered, earning her a glare from the Shadowchaser.

"Be nice, Lucy," Kate said as she drew her card. "She's about to have enough trouble without your snide comments. I'm about to take us to a place where people like me can shine."

The Field slot opened on Kate's Pocket Disk, and she inserted a card. Instantly, Sonya's Field Spell was ejected from her Disk and she placed it in her Graveyard. The dark vortex disappeared, and light returned to the room, just before they were surrounded by another hologram. Stadium seating erupted in a semicircle in front of Kate, filled by human-shaped silhouettes, except for a few rows right in front of Sonya where her Monsters stood, and a domed amphitheater erupted behind the puppet. It was a stage, the red curtains drawn and decorated with the image of the Shakespearean masks of comedy and tragedy.

"Welcome, Sonya, to the Grand Performance Stage!"

The dark auras around Beiige and Sillva vanished, and their scores returned to normal. (2,100/900) -) (1,600/1,300) (2,800/1,000) -) (2,300/1,400)

"What is this place?" Sonya demanded. "I've never seen this Field Spell before in my life!"

"It's pretty new," Kate said with a shrug. "Only released this year, I think. As for what it does, it simply grants all Method Actors an extra three-hundred points for both attacking and defending.

"And now that the stage is quite literally set, it's time to start the show! I summon Method Actor—Brave Hero, in Attack Mode!"

She placed a card on her Disk, and the curtains flew open, revealing a brightly-lit stage with a backdrop depicting the front of a castle, with real doors and windows. The doors opened and a handsome warrior appeared, dressed in highly polished silver armor and a blue cape, with a silver band in his flowing blonde hair, and carrying a long sword. Sonya's first thought was that it was the well-known Monster Freed the Brave Wanderer, but then she saw that his sword was blunted, and his face was less rugged and more conventionally handsome than Freed's. The audience burst into applause and he smiled at them and struck a heroic pose. (1,600/1,300) -) (1,900/1,600)

"Okay," Sonya shrugged. "So you brought out a beatstick. Your Warrior still doesn't come close to beating my Sillva."

"Actually, he's a Spellcaster," Kate corrected. "And Sillva's not the one he's attacking. Go, Brave Hero! Destroy Beiige with blade of the brave!"

The Method Actor crouched down and hefted his sword, then pounced like a cat into the audience and bashed his sword into the Vanguard's side. It didn't even pierce Beiige's armor, but he fell backwards onto the seats and Brave Hero stomped on his chest, destroying him.

The other doll golems, who were huddled on one side of the theater, threw up their arms and cheered.

(S: 7,700) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 5,200)

"Our show's off to a good start," Kate chirped. "And to keep it going, I'll end my turn with a couple of facedown cards."

Two facedown cards appeared on the field, but not in front of their user like usual. They were perpendicular to the ground instead of parallel, and far above Kate's head, on either side of the top of the theater's roof.

"Way to go, Kate!" Princeton laughed. "Keep her guessing!"

Sonya just sighed and drew her card.

"Okay, Kate, it's my Standby Phase," she reminded her opponent. "You remember what that means: my Dangerous Machine Type-6 activates."

The lever on the machine pulled forward and the six numbered spheres spun around. After a second they stopped, and the number 2 appeared on the screen.

"A two," Sonya smirked. "That means you have to discard a card from your hand."

Kate didn't say anything, but chose a card from her hand and placed it into her Graveyard.

"Next," Sonya continued. "I summon Brron, Mad King of Dark World!"

An insane cackle was heard, and a new, even uglier Fiend appeared in the stands in front of Sonya. He was tall and gangly, with grey skin stretched tightly across his body, a mouth full of sharp, two-inch teeth, and tangled, ropy hair. His arms were crossed and bound with chains, and the only sign of royalty on his person was his long cape, which was made of blue fur.

"Not much of a looker…" Rod murmured.

"And now, it's time for a convincing death scene!" the Shadowchaser continued. "Sillva, attack the Brave Hero with dark quicksilver!"

The Warlord smiled and leapt at the stage, his sword drawn, when Kate interrupted him.

"Oh, no you don't! I activate my Trap Card, Stage Fighting!"

One of Kate's facedown cards flipped around, revealing a Continuous Trap Card with the image of Method Actor—Brave Hero with his sword out in front of him, about to fight a Monster that Sonya found very familiar.

The battle continued, but in slow motion. Just as Sillva closed in on Brave Hero, the Method Actor tilted to the side, and the blade passed clean by, less than an inch from his neck. Nonetheless, the Method Actor collapsed to the ground, but got right back up again as Sillva returned to the stands.

(S: 7,700) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 4,400)

"What just happened?" Sonya couldn't help asking.

"Simple," Kate replied. "My Stage Fighting card renders all Method Actors in Attack Mode indestructible in battle, so long as the Grand Performance Stage stands. The only catch is, I lose twice the normal amount of Life Points. It's a small price to pay, though, to be a part of such a wonderful production."

"Um, okay…well, since Brron isn't strong enough to beat Brave Hero, I guess I'll just end my turn."

"And I'll begin mine."

Kate drew a card and chose another from her hand. "My Brave Hero looks lonely," she observed. "It's time for another to step into the limelight. I summon Method Actor—Love Interest!"

She played the card and a window opened on the castle backdrop. An attractive female Monster jumped out, wearing a pointed teal-colored hat and matching low-cut skirt and holding a staff inlaid with green orbs. She was clearly meant to be Magician's Valkyria, but she looked older, her long, brown hair was curly, not straight, and her staff's orbs were flashing with LED lights.

Suddenly, a wire with a hook dropped down from the theater's ceiling and, in the guise of striking a seductive pose, she hooked it onto her back and was hoisted a couple of feet off of the stage's floor. (1,500/1,700) -) (1,800/2,000)

"And just so you know, while she's on the stage, my Method Actors can't be destroyed by Trap Cards."

"Whatever. You're still no closer to taking out Sillva," Sonya reminded.

"Just give me a moment," Kate said with a laugh. "In the meantime, Brave Hero! Destroy Brron!"

Brave Hero raised his sword, but before he could do anything else, Kate stopped him.

"And since a Spellcaster just declared an attack," she explained. "I can now activate my other Trap Card, Magician's Circle!"

Kate's facedown card flipped over, revealing the aforementioned Trap Card.

"Now both of us must Special Summon a Spellcaster with two-thousand or less Attack Points from our decks! Do you have one?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Sonya shot back. "I bring forth my Witch of the Black Forest!"

She took a card from her deck and placed it on her Duel Disk, and a woman with purple hair and a vertical third eye in her forehead appeared in front of her. (1,100 ATK)

"Hardly a threat," Kate laughed as her handler took her deck and showed it to her. "Especially with what I'm about to bring out. You may find him quite familiar, Sonya."

She selected a card from the deck and her handler returned her deck to the Disk as she played the card.

"I summon Method Actor—Despicable Villain!"

The curtains suddenly closed, and when they reopened, the backdrop had changed to a barren wasteland with a few dead trees. A trapdoor flew open in the stage's floor, and a fiendish new Monster flew out. He was tall and powerfully built, wearing a skull-like mask with downward-curving ram's horns. There were four colored gems embedded in his chest, and he had big, ugly wings sprouting from his back. He carried a long pole with two blunted blades on the end—a sasumata. The blades had flashing lights like the ones on Love Interest's staff. (2,000/1,700) -) (2,300/2,000)

Sonya gasped. She recognized this Monster all right. His face may have been a mask, his body may have been bulked up by foam padding, and his sasumata may not have been real, but there was no doubt at all that he was masquerading as her favorite Monster: Reign-Beaux, Overlord of Dark World.

"Upset to see one of your Monsters labeled as the villain?" Kate jeered.

"Not really," Sonya said, rolling her eyes. "The Dark World Fiends are evil. Everyone knows it. Frankly, it's kind of flattering that they chose Reign-Beaux out of all the Monsters in the game. The only problem I have is that his costume looks so fake."

Kate sneered and crossed her arms. "Well," she said. "His costume may not look very real, but his ability sure is! As long as he's standing on the Grand Performance Stage, he lowers the Attack Points of all of your Monsters by three-hundred!"

Despicable Villain leered at the audience and stunned them into silence. For the first time ever, Sonya saw her Fiends shiver. (2,300 ATK) -) (2,000 ATK) (1,800 ATK) -) (1,500 ATK) (1,100 ATK) -) (800 ATK)

"Oh, that's not good," Sonya mumbled.

"Now, to destroy them all! Brave Hero, destroy Brron with blade of the brave! Love Interest, strike down Witch of the Black Forest with magic illusion! And Despicable Villain, eliminate Sillva with dark spectrum!"

The three Method Actors nodded and launched their attacks. Brave Hero leapt at Brron and knocked him down with his sword, and Love Interest and Despicable Villain raised their weapons and fired beams of light that washed over Witch of the Black Forest and Sillva, doing absolutely nothing. Then, as soon as Brave Hero had leapt back onto the stage, a series of explosions went off in the stands around Sonya's Monsters, obscuring them in green smoke, and when it faded they were gone.

(S: 6,000) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 4,400)

"How does it feel to be helpless?" Kate asked as the crowd cheered. For the first time, she sounded really happy. "My Method Actors make the perfect team, each of them finding all sorts of ways to protect each other, to help each other!"

"And who are you hoping will help you, Kate?" Sonya spoke up.

Kate and the other doll golems stared at her.

"What do you mean by that?" Nicky asked.

"Are you saying she's crazy?" Rod accused.

Sonya raised an eyebrow. "Of course not. But you just ran out on the elves that gave you a home—"

"They did not!" Kate shrieked. "A home is a place where you feel safe and loved! We felt neither!"

"They were gonna turn us back into regular puppets after our final show!" Nicky screamed. "We overheard them saying so!"

"Okay, okay," Sonya said quickly, putting up her hands. "Let me rephrase. You just ran out on the elves that gave you shelter, and now you have nothing but a little cash, a Pocket Disk, a couple of decks, and each other. You've left your jobs, you don't really know anybody in this entire world other than those elves, and you need to be on somebody's arm just to move from place to place. What are you going to do? What are your plans, your goals? How long do you expect to survive without help?"

"We have a plan!" Kate argued, but then her voice softened. "Well, an idea, at least. We're going to get help from another group of doll golems. They'll sympathize with us. I know they will."

"And where, exactly, do you expect to find another group of doll golems?" Sonya said with a frown.

"Oh, I'm sure you've heard of them," the furry doll golem replied. "They're really very famous. They're called the Muppets."

Sonya's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe it. "A-are you serious? The Muppets are doll golems?"

"Of course they are. How else could they have such huge personalities? Jim Henson and his Creature Shop were and still are the greatest makers of doll golems of all time!"

"It's not just the Muppets, either," Princeton added. "The main characters from Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, and Fraggle Rock were doll golems, too. The Muppets can introduce us to the guys in the Creature Shop, and we can make it big!"

Sonya eyed the doll golems one by one. Their faces were incapable of much expression, but she could tell they weren't as confident as they sounded. They were doing all they could to keep hope alive.

"Okay," she finally said. "Suppose the Muppets really are doll golems—"

"They are!" the puppets answered in unison.

"—and suppose they really do introduce you to the Creature Shop and get you jobs. Do you really think you'll ever be as big or as timeless as the Muppets? Even if you do start acting in your own show or movie, what happens when that ends? Did it ever occur to you what happened to the doll golems from their other projects? I'll bet you anything that they're not alive anymore."

"Actually," Lucy spoke up. "There's a rumor that the doll golems from The Dark Crystal are in a deep sleep, waiting for their sequel."

"Whatever," Sonya sighed, rolling her eyes. "The point is that you're pinning your hopes on something that's pretty unlikely to make your dreams come true. I can help, but only if you're willing to meet me halfway."

"How so?" Princeton inquired.

"Go back and do your final performance."

"FORGET IT!" Kate shrieked. "I'm not going back! Not now, not ever! Now take your turn!"

Sonya sighed. "Gladly. But first I activate the effect of my Witch of the Black Forest. Since you destroyed her, I get to add a Monster with a low Defense Score to my hand."

She took out her deck and retrieved Goldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World, then replaced the deck and let the auto-shuffler do its work, after which she drew her obligatory card.

"And let's see what Dangerous Machine Type-6 has in store for us this time."

Once again, the device pulled its own lever and the spheres spun around. This time it stopped on the 1.

"Yes!" Sonya cheered. Then she caught herself and went back into competition mode. "I mean, uh, yes. A one means that I discard a card from my hand."

She slipped a card into her Graveyard slot.

"And the card I discarded was Goldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World, and his effect is almost identical to Sillva's!"

Another chortle echoed through the room, and another dark shadow appeared in the empty seats in front of Sonya. The shadow rose up and took form, congealing into a Monster very similar in appearance to Sillva, except that its armor was gold and it carried a battle axe instead of a sword. Its head was even more disturbing than Sillva's, too: it had three horns and three faces, with perfect turn symmetry. Despite its hideous appearance, it let out a shiver when it saw Method Actor—Despicable Villain. (2,300 ATK) -) (2,000 ATK)

"Kudos on bringing out a high-level Monster on short notice," Kate congratulated. "But it's a pity it's not strong enough to oppose my Despicable Villain."

"It will be," Sonya assured. "Because I'm increasing his power with the Black Pendant!"

She slipped another card into one of her Spell Zones and a sinister black amulet materialized around Goldd's neck. (2,000 ATK) -) (2,500 ATK)

"Of course, with your Stage Fighting in play, Goldd can't hope to beat your Villain no matter how strong he becomes. Instead, to maximize damage, I'll attack your Love Interest."

"Wrong again!" Kate laughed. "My Brave Hero has an ability, too. When he stands on the Grand Performance Stage, he lures all attacks toward himself!"

Sonya rolled her eyes. "Fine. Goldd, attack Brave Hero! Dark gold rush!"

The Dark World Fiend hefted his axe and leapt at the Freed lookalike, but once again the Method Actor narrowly dodged the attack and pretended to collapse, the got back to his feet.

(S: 6,000) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 3,200)

"I'll set a facedown and end my turn," the Shadowchaser announced as a facedown card appeared behind Goldd.

"That was nothing!" Princeton laughed. "Come on, Kate, destroy her!"

"Sounds good to me," Kate replied. "I now have just enough to win this. I summon Method Actor—Comedy Relief!"

She set another card onto her Disk and a new Monster was welcomed onto the stage, this one lowered down by a wire similar to Love Interest's. It was a tall, skinny man covered in yellow body paint, wearing nothing but a plastic mask with eyestalks and big red lips and a pair of pink briefs. He laughed a high-pitched laugh and slapped his rear as the audience went into hysterics. (1,000/800) -) (1,300/1,100)

"A Method Actor playing Ojama Yellow," Sonya said, her mouth agape. "Of course."

"He may not look like much," Kate agreed. "But he has a very impressive power—one that grants three-hundred Attack Points to each and every Method Actor on the field!"

The crowd's applause grew louder and louder as the four Method Actors swelled with pride. (1,900 ATK) -) (2,200 ATK) (1,800 ATK) -) (2,100 ATK) (2,300 ATK) -) (2,600 ATK) (1,300 ATK) -) (1,600 ATK)

"That's…eighty-five-hundred combined Attack Points!" Rod pointed out.

"If all of these attacks go through, Kate wins!" Nicky added.

"It's time to finish this and make our escape!" Kate cried. "Method Actor—Despicable Villain, destroy Goldd with dark spectrum!"

Method Actor—Despicable Villain held up its sasumata and fired a rainbow-colored beam at Goldd.

"Forget it, Kate!" Sonya cried. "I activate my Trap Card, Magical Arm Shield, to steal your Comedy Relief and make him the new target of your attack!"

Sonya's facedown card lifted up and a clamp shot out and grabbed Method Actor—Comedy Relief, snatching him into the stands, his wires inexplicably extending as he moved.

"Not a chance!" Kate countered. "I active the Quick-Play Spell, Intermission!"

Kate slammed one of her cards into her Pocket Disk and the Grand Performance Stage's curtains closed again. The people applauded as the redirected attack fizzled out of sight as Sonya stared at the field, her eyes wide.

"In case you didn't realize, this card automatically ends the current turn's Battle Phase if Grand Performance Stage is active, stopping my attack and saving me from self-destruction. And on top of that, I gain three-hundred Life Points for each Method Actor on the field."

(S: 6,000) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 4,400)

"It was a nice try, Sonya," Kate admitted as Comedy Relief was returned to the stage. "But I'm not falling for such obvious tricks. Anyway, I end my turn."

"And I'll begin mine," Sonya said with a scowl as she took a card off the top of her deck. "Now, let's see what my Dangerous Machine does now."

The machine pulled its lever again, and this time it stopped on 3.

"Excellent. That means I get to draw again. I'm having great luck with this thing tonight."

She drew another card and smiled.

"Finally!" she cried. "A way out!"

The doll golems all turned to her and cocked their heads.

"What do you mean by that?" Lucy asked.

"I mean that I'm about to break Kate's combo!" Sonya laughed. "And it all starts with me summoning Dark Resonator!"

She slapped the card onto her Disk, and a giggling black Fiend holding a tuning fork appeared, cringing a little at the sight of Despicable Villain. (1,300 ATK) -) (1,000 ATK)

"That's a Tuner!" Kate exclaimed.

"That's right," Sonya confirmed. "And I intend to use it. I'm Tuning my Level 3 Dark Resonator with my Level 5 Goldd, Wu-Lord of Dark World…"

Dark Resonator struck his tuning fork, then dissolved into three glowing stars which flew into the air. Hearing the sound, Goldd faded into five stars of his own, and the eight stars flew together and spun around in a circle, forming a glowing ring.

"Heir to a legacy of a lord of Shadows! Prince and founder with a great destiny! Come lead your troops into battle once again!"

(*3 + *5 = *8)

"Synchro Summon…Dragonprince Jalal!"

The glowing ring disappeared, from it emerged a knight with sharp facial features and long blonde hair, dressed in scarlet armor covered in scales. Unlike Sonya's previous Monsters, he didn't even flinch when he met Despicable Villain's gaze, though his Attack Power still dropped. (2,500 ATK) -) (2,200 ATK)

"Guys, I'd like you to meet my boss: Jalal Stormbringer, founder of the Shadowchasers."

"Your boss is a card?" Princeton couldn't help asking.

"Yes and no," Sonya replied with a shrug. "This is one of his avatars, his way of assisting Shadowchasers in need, but the real Jalal is thousands of miles away. Still, he's here in spirit, and that's all I need."

When she said this, Jalal flashed a smile her way.

"What you need is a stronger Monster!" Rod objected. "This one has nothing on Kate's deadly Method Actor combo!"

"Oh, really?" Sonya laughed. "Because I think her combo is about to break."

"What do you mean by that?" Kate demanded, flinging her arm to emphasize her tone.

"I mean that Dragonprince Jalal's effect is about to turn things around. In a second, though. First, since Black Pendant was destroyed, you lose a chunk of your Life Points."

Kate and her puppeteer cringed as a dark aura surrounded them.

(S: 6,000) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 3,900)

"And now, for Jalal's effect. You see, for every Monster I used in his Synchro Summon, he gains a little thing called a Fortune Counter. I used two, so that's how many he gets."

As she said this, two glowing orbs started circling Jalal's sword.

"And I can activate different effects based on how many of them I expend. However, I'm only going to give up one, which allows Jalal to set any card on your field facedown."

"Oh, really?" Kate shot back. "And how much do you really think that that will help you? Remember, you can only do it twice, after all. What will you do, set Despicable Villain? Brave Hero will still intercept your attacks. Stage Fighting? Even if you succeed in an attack, I can stand to lose one Monster."

"You think too small, Kate," the Shadowchaser smirked, shaking her head. "I only need to use this effect once this turn, and I don't need to use it on either of those cards. You see, the card I'm aiming for…is your Grand Performance Stage!"

Jalal smiled and leapt up, swinging his sword through the air. One of the orbs flew over atop the amphitheater and began to expand, enveloping the room in a ball of white light.

"I've never seen a Field Spell facedown before," Sonya chuckled. "I wonder what will happen?"

The glow faded, and the amphitheater was gone. The Method Actors dropped to the ballroom floor (which was now a giant facedown card), Brave Hero and Despicable Villain landing on their feet, Love Interest landing on her hands and knees, and Comedy Relief falling flat on his face. (2,200/1,600) -) (1,900/1,300) (2,100/2,000) -) (1,800/1,700) (2,600/2,000) -) (2,300/1,700) (1,600/1,100) -) (1,300/800)

"Wait," Sonya spoke up. "I thought your Monsters all depended on Grand Performance Stage for their effects. Shouldn't they have lost more points?"

Kate shook her head. "Comedy Relief is the exception there," she explained. "After all, a comedian doesn't need to be on stage to be funny."

Method Actor—Comedy Relief punctuated this point by adjusting his eyestalks to point directly at Love Interest's breasts.

"Whatever," Sonya sighed. "On the bright side, Despicable Villain's effect is gone…"

Jalal's Attack Points returned to 2,500.

"And Stage Fighting is destroyed."

Kate's Trap Card shattered into pixels.

"And now, it's time to take back this duel! Dragonprince Jalal, destroy that ugly parody of Reign-Beaux with runic blade slash!"

Jalal nodded and charged forward, his sword far out to one side. Despicable Villain tried to defend with his sasumata, but the Synchro was too fast. The Method Actor was sliced in half and burst into triangles seconds later.

(S: 6,000) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 3,700)

"That's all I can do for now," Sonya confessed. "But rest assured, now that Despicable Villain and Stage Fighting are gone, the rest of your cards will follow. Unless, of course, you're ready to go back and do your show? After all, you still have half an hour to get back."

"NEVER!" Kate shrieked, causing Sonya to wince. "I'M NEVER GOING BACK THERE, YOU HEAR ME? NEVER!"

"Why do you care so much about the success of those demented elves' show, anyway?" Lucy asked.

Sonya shook her head. "It's not about those elves," she explained. "Though 'demented' still seems like a strong word. To me, they just seem to have a little too much talent at making doll golems and not enough foresight or common sense. No, this is a duty to the audience. They bought tickets and planned a night at the theater, and you're taking that away from them. If you'd just meet me halfway, I could help you and those elves reach an agreement once these people get their money's worth. Why do you refuse to compromise?"

"BECAUSE THOSE ELVES ARE EVIL!" Kate screamed, whipping herself around violently on her handler's arm. "I WOULD KNOW! THEY'RE TEARING MY HEART OUT, AND THEY DON'T EVEN CARE! THEY NEVER CARED ABOUT US! TREKKIE MADE THAT VERY CLEAR!"

A moment of silence passed through the ballroom.

"'Trekkie'?" the Shadowchaser finally asked.

"Sonya," Princeton said gently, as they waited for Kate to regain her composure. "I know you didn't see the show, but surely you must know that there were more than five puppets in it."

"To be specific," Rod continued. "There were eleven."

"Kate's boss Mrs. Thistletwat, Rod's boyfriend Ricky, and an unnamed English major were kept as regular puppets because of their small parts," Nicky elaborated. "The troupe agreed that it would be a waste of time, energy, and magic to bring them to life when simple puppeteers would do the job."

"And the Bad Idea Bears were puppets that only moved their mouths," Lucy added. "So bringing them to life wouldn't improve movements at all."

"Not to mention that our personalities are based on the characters we play," Princeton continued. "And even those elves weren't stupid enough to create a couple of evil tempters who encourage reckless spending, drinking, and suicide."

"Plus they were Scientologists," Lucy snickered. "And who needs more wackos spreading that?"

"Anyway," Princeton said, snapping his head toward Lucy. He was incapable of altering his expression much, but it seemed like a warning. "Though none of them were brought to life, one other was: Trekkie Monster."

Sonya rolled her eyes. "And again I say, 'Trekkie'?"

"He was the last major puppet character in the show," Princeton elaborated. "Can you guess what his character was like?"

"I would assume a sci-fi nerd?" the Shadowchaser said with a shrug.

The doll golems uttered a short, pained laugh at this.

"You'd think that, given his name," Princeton sighed. "But no. In fact, aside from Trekkie's name, there's no reference to Star Trek in the play at all. No, he was a connoisseur of internet porn and a chronic masturbator."

Sonya's eye twitched as she struggled to suppress a laugh. "You—you don't say?" she said, trying to remain serious.

"Yep. And, like I said, the elves based our personalities on those of the characters we play. For example, I'm both nervous and excited about journeying into the world for the first time."

"I'm well-meaning, but tend to act inappropriately at times," Nicky chuckled, slapping Rod on the back and nearly knocking over his friend's handler.

"I'm a homosexual republican," Rod said, crossing his arms as his holder got back up.

"Kate's sweet and loves passing on her knowledge," Lucy chortled, staring at her dueling friend. "And, as you can tell, has a long fuse attached to dynamite."

"And Lucy has an easier time demeaning others than finding fault in herself!" Princeton snapped, before calming down. "But Trekkie, with his personality and…habits…had a severe problem. You see, he was built like us."

Sonya had to think this over for a second, but then it dawned on her.

"Oh! His body cut off at the waist! So he couldn't…"

"Yep. And he was miserable for it. It was funny at first, but then it became heartbreaking. He found it more and more difficult to get through the day. We tried to help him get through it, but he was deprived of a central part of who he was. I've long since lost count of how many times he complained to those elves about his situation, and how many times we backed up his arguments, but every time, those elves just thought it was one big joke and laughed in his face.

"Finally, about five months ago, Trekkie couldn't take it anymore. While in the dressing room after a show in Malibu, he grabbed a lighter—one of his handlers was a smoker—threw himself into a trash can, and—"

"HE BURNED HIMSELF ALIVE!" Kate shrieked. If she'd been capable of crying, she'd be flooding the ballroom. "All they found was a clump of charred fur and a couple of melted plastic eyes! And those goddamn elves didn't even care! They just passed him off as 'defective' and ordered a new one! They didn't bring it to life, thank God, but still, we're forced to perform with a sick replica of our dead friend! Every time I have to sing 'The Internet is for Porn', I die a little inside!"

Sonya had nothing to say to this, which was good because Kate just heaved a big sigh and continued.

"I just…can't do it anymore. It's too painful. I've lost one of the only five people in the world who care about me, and I had to continue on for months with a smile on my face, waiting for the day that the life was drained out of me. If it weren't for Princeton, Rod, Nicky, and Lucy, I never would've even bothered escaping."

It was a long time before Sonya said anything, but finally she got one word out.

"Six."

Kate raised her head and stared. "What?"

"There are six people in the world who care about you. Well, five now. I'm here, and I care. I'll help you, if you just let me. Do one last show, and I can ensure you get the rights and treatment you deserve."

Kate paused, then shook her head. "I'm sorry, Sonya," she apologized. "I just can't. I have to find another way. It's time for act two of this duel and my life!"

Kate snatched a card off of her deck, and immediately opened her Pocket Disk's Field Slot.

"I'll start by reactivating my Grand Performance Stage!" she declared.

She flipped the card back face-up, and the ballroom was once again transformed into an outdoor amphitheater with a semicircle of stadium seats full of shadowy viewers. The curtains opened and revealed the castle backdrop again, but this time the sky was dark and strobe lights were going off. Still, the Method Actors showed no fear, leaping onto the stage and soaking up the crowd's approval. (1,900/1,300) -) (2,200/1,600) (1,800/1,700) -) (2,100/2,000) (1,300/800) -) (1,600/1,100)

"Sorry, Kate," Sonya said, shaking her head. "But a small increase in points won't protect them from Jalal."

"Of course it won't," Kate replied. Her semi-whimsical attitude was almost completely gone now, replaced by rage, sorrow, frustration, and impatience. "I'm just getting the final preparations in place. No, I'm afraid my current cast will all be suffering an early death scene, because they're making way for a new, greater power."

The doors on the stage's castle burst open.

"I sacrifice Method Actor—Brave Hero…"

The Freed impersonator hung his head and retreated from the stage through the open door, dropping his sword on the way.

"Method Actor—Love Interest…"

The Magician's Valkyria look-alike sulked and let go of her staff, then followed the Brave Hero.

"And Method Actor—Comedy Relief…"

The Ojama Yellow actor's face couldn't be seen under his mask, but he slouched down, not bothering to do anything even remotely funny as he exited the stage.

"To bring forth the greatest power this deck has to offer! Ready the Grand Performance Stage for the final scene!"

Once again, the curtains closed, this time for a few seconds longer than usual, and finally reopened to expose a backdrop nearly identical to the last one, except that, in addition to the dark clouds and strobe lights, there were red, dripping pentagrams drawn all over. On top of that, there was a small platform just under the ceiling, and the three tributed Method Actors were on it. They were no longer in costume, now dressed in black outfits exactly like those of the doll golems' handlers, but Sonya recognized their builds. All three of them were holding sturdy wires attached to a gigantic curled-up mass in the center of the stage, one that was almost as tall as the theater itself. The beast shifted slightly as the former Method Actors operated the controls.

Comedy Relief shifted a wire. A piece of the mass flew open and to one side. It was a gigantic batlike wing made of strong leather.

"Prepare for utter annihilation!"

Love Interest moved a wire of her own. The other wing shifted over, exposing a scaly, muscular body, green in color, with a tangled lump between its shoulders. Unlike the previous Method Actors, this one was clearly not alive. It was made of papier-mâché.

"Prepare for nightmarish power!"

All three of the former Method Actors lifted their remaining wires. The tangled lump flew up, and there was no longer any doubt about which Monster this giant creature represented. Its five dragon heads on snaky necks were a dead giveaway. One of them was black as night, made of papier-mâché, like the body. One was a dull yellow, with a mane of spikes around its head and sparks going down the neck, courtesy of a metal coil. One was made of blue rubber, with fins where its ears should be. One was made of metal, but with far too little material to actually look realistic. And the last one was covered in red, orange, and yellow streamers, supposedly making it look as if it were on fire. The Method Actors whipped the puppet's heads around, and a terrible roar echoed through the theater.

"Prepare for…Method Actor—Terrible Monstrosity!"

(3,500/3,500) -) (3,800/3,800)

Looks of terror crossed the faces of both Sonya and Jalal.

"No…way…" Sonya gaped. "Industrial Illusions actually made a replica of the F.G.D.?"

"Yep," Kate said. She probably meant to smirk, but couldn't. "It may not be as powerful as the real deal, but it's got some tricks of its own. Specifically, since I Special Summoned him onto the Grand Performance Stage, it destroys everything on the field but the stage and itself!"

The giant puppet's five heads reared up. Their mouths opened wide, exposing five cannons inside. Each head launched a different form of energy: the black head shot a beam of darkness, the yellow head a bolt of lightning, the blue head a cone of frost, the metallic head a stream of acid, and the "flaming" head a blast of fire. Jalal gulped (he actually gulped!) as an explosion hit the stands, eradicating him and the Dangerous Machine Type-6. Sonya and the viewing doll golems were barely able to stay upright through the assault before it ended, and the spectators (both the holograms and Kate's friends) began applauding.

"Nice move, Kate!" Nicky cheered. "Way to bring out the big guns!"

"Thanks," Kate said drily, before turning to her opponent. "Of course," she sighed. "Terrible Monstrosity can't attack when it uses its ability, but that doesn't mean others can't."

"O-others?" Sonya whimpered, before shaking her head and sending Kate one of her signature glares. "Bring it on!"

"Oh, I will," Kate promised. "By summoning Method Actor—Loyal Sidekick!"

A window on the castle opened, and a new Monster flew out—an attractive woman in tight-fitting black spandex with long blonde hair and a curved blade in one hand. She was clearly meant to be D.D. Warrior Lady, but, like Brave Hero, she was more conventionally attractive and less rugged than the real deal, and her sword was blunted. (1,300/1,400) -) (1,600/1,700)

"She can attack you just fine! Loyal Sidekick, attack directly with different dimension stab!"

The actress smiled and knelt down, a trapdoor flipping open by her feet. She shoved her arm into it, sword and all, and, a second later, a trapdoor opened up in the stands right in front of Sonya and an identical hand and sword popped out, taking a swipe at the Shadowchaser's leg and knocking her back before retreating back in.

(S: 4,400) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 3,700)

"Okay," Sonya said, as she and Loyal Sidekick got to their feet. "Nice shot, but I have to ask: Why is D.D. Warrior Lady Freed the Brave Wanderer's sidekick? And why is he paired with Magician's Valkyria? None of the Monsters these Method Actors play even go in the same deck, except for Freed and Ojama Yellow, and only in an Ojama deck. What's the deal?"

"It's entertainment," Kate replied, not giving it any thought at all. "Don't question it. Just enjoy. Now make your move."

Sonya closed her eyes and shook her head. Kate was slipping deeper into her depression. It wasn't surprising—she'd been betrayed by the closest things she had to parents, and she wasn't eager to trust anyone but those who suffered like her. But if she was going to get anywhere in the world, she'd need help, and fast.

The Shadowchaser put that thought aside and examined her hand. She had Kahkki, Guerilla of Dark World and Renge, Gatekeeper of Dark World—neither could even defeat Loyal Sidekick, let alone Terrible Monstrosity. She was about to draw another card when she was interrupted by a loud beeping.

"What's that noise?" Lucy demanded, looking around.

"Sorry," Sonya apologized. "That's my cell."

She reached into her pocket, pulled out a standard-model black cell phone, flipped it open, and held it to her ear.

"Look," she said. "Whoever this is, I'm a little busy. Can I call you back?"

"It's somewhat urgent," replied a familiar voice tinged with a British accent.

Sonya jumped and nearly dropped the phone.

"Oh, boss! What, uh, what can I do for you?"

"Are you kidding me?" Nicky complained. "Get back to the action!"

Sonya just held up a hand and listened to what Jalal had to say.

"I think you can guess why I've called," he said, his tone quite serious. "It's about that Monster you're facing down."

Sonya nodded. A replica of the F.G.D. would be troubling for Jalal. The F.G.D. was an incredibly rare and powerful card, to be sure, but Jalal had a deep suspicion that it was far more. The five-headed dragon was a dead ringer for Tiamat, the Queen of Evil Dragonkind, deity of elemental dragons, the natural enemies of metallic dragons like Jalal's father. Jalal himself owned a copy of the true F.G.D., though he very sparsely used it. He had only done so twice, and both times he heard a faint, sinister whispering in his ears, but he'd always ended the duel before the words could become clear. Unsurprisingly, he had a deep suspicion that Tiamat was using the cards to project her avatar, similar to what Jalal did, and he strongly cautioned any and all Shadowchasers against using it (not that it was highly necessary, as copies of the card were very hard to come by). Seeing a card depicting a replica of the beast must've unnerved him.

"Seeing a card depicting a replica of this beast has unnerved me. I'm worried it may carry Tiamat's spirit like the true F.G.D."

"I figured," Sonya replied. "But…this card can't be as rare as the—wait! You keep up with the new releases. Wouldn't you have noticed something like this months ago when it first came out?"

"I was preoccupied that day," Jalal said. He sounded slightly embarrassed. "I just skimmed the stats and ignored the picture. Quite foolish of me, I must admit. At any rate, that card worries me. If it's at all possible for you to do so without hindering yourself, could you summon my avatar back to the field so I can examine it up close? I'm afraid it caught me by surprise the last time."

"Sure," Sonya replied, raising an eyebrow. "If I can."

"Excellent," her boss told her. "And if you can't, win and confiscate the deck. Either way, I thank you immensely, Sonya."

He was about to hang up when she burst out with a question.

"Hey, before you go, is it true that the Muppets are doll golems?"

"Oh, yes. Probably the best I've ever seen. I've never met them, of course, but I have numerous reliable sources that assure me that they are."

"Okay…" the shabby Shadowchaser said with a nod. "Goodbye."

"Good luck," Jalal told her, before hanging up.

Sonya sighed and pocketed her phone. "Sorry about that," she apologized, drawing a card.

"Whatever," Kate snapped. "Just don't let it happen again."

"I'll try," Sonya responded, staring at her new card. It didn't look like she'd have to re-summon Jalal after all.

"I activate another Dark World Dealings!" she announced, playing the Spell Card. Both players drew a card, and Kate immediately discarded hers, having no other option. Sonya reacted slower than she should have, because of what she had drawn: her Reign-Beaux, Overlord of Dark World, the Monster that Method Actor—Despicable Villain played on stage, and her personal favorite. He wasn't of much use now, though, aside from raising her spirits a little. Instead, she selected another card and placed it into her Graveyard.

"And you should know, Kate, that the card I discarded was Kahkki, Guerilla of Dark World, and when he's discarded, he destroys a Monster on the field!"

Another disembodied laugh sounded in the stands, this one much smaller and hollower. A ghostly figure emerged from the stands, a short, grey, egg-shaped Fiend with a skull-like face and a dagger in one hand. Unlike Sillva and Goldd, though, this one didn't solidify, except for his blade.

"Your Terrible Monstrosity may have taken Jalal, but that's all it'll ever manage."

Sonya snapped her fingers and Kahkki pounced at the stage, flying much higher than a creature with his build should've been able. He held out his dagger to one side, aiming not at the papier-mâché, but at the wires above it.

"I don't think so!" Kate objected. "Loyal Sidekick, intercept it!"

The spandex-clad Spellcaster nodded and leapt into the air, right into the path of Kahkki's knife. She was stabbed right in the heart and fell to the stage floor, wounded, before shattering into pixels, but the Terrible Monstrosity still stood tall.

"In case it wasn't obvious," Kate explained. "If one of my other Method Actors is about to be destroyed while standing on the Grand Performance Stage, my Method Actor—Loyal Sidekick can take the hit. So now you're facing down my greatest Monster and you've just frittered away one of your few options to destroy it. Care to just surrender now?"

"No," Sonya said, shaking her head again. "I won't give up on this duel and I won't give up on you. I'll set a Monster and see what else you can throw at me."

She set a card on her Disk, conjuring a horizontal card's back in the seats a couple of rows in front of her, and gave Kate an "I dare you" look.

"This duel's in the bag!" Nicky laughed.

"We'll be out of here in minutes!" Rod agreed.

Kate didn't seem to share in their enthusiasm. She just snatched another card with her stubby fingers and shook her head.

"Terrible Monstrosity," she said calmly. "Wipe out her pitiful defense. Pentecost holocaust."

The former Method Actors worked their wires, and the F.G.D. replica's heads reared up again and let loose another quintuple attack. The viewing doll golems could barely make out the image of a broad, skeletal Fiend crouched down in the seats, holding up two enormous orange-palmed hands before it was blown apart.

"How tedious," the dueling golem commented. "I'll just set a card and let you attempt to erect another momentary delay for my Terrible Monstrosity."

A vertical facedown card appeared above the amphitheater's roof.

Sonya sighed and drew a card, then looked at it and immediately inserted it into her Duel Disk. A facedown card materialized in front of her, and she waved her hand, signaling the end of her turn.

"Losing your will to go on?" Kate inquired as she drew, neither sympathetically nor sadistically. "Believe me, that feeling won't easily leave. Not without an escape plan."

The other living puppets didn't know what to say to this.

"Whatever. I play the Pot of Greed, to draw two more cards."

She played the card, and a giggling green jar appeared. Kate drew two more cards, and the jar shattered.

"Terrible Monstrosity, attack directly."

The gargantuan prop's heads rose again, and blasted their attacks once more, this time at Sonya.

"I don't think so!" Sonya objected. "I activate my facedown Spell Card, Gateway to Dark World, to revive Renge, Gatekeeper of Dark World to intercept your attack!"

The Shadowchaser's facedown card lifted up and was replaced by the stocky Fiend with enormous hands that the Terrible Monstrosity had destroyed earlier. (2,100 DEF)

"Whatever," Kate said. She probably would've been rolling her eyes if she could've. "Terrible Monstrosity can destroy that without trying."

True to her words, the papier-mâché Monster obliterated the newly-summoned Fiend in seconds flat.

"And it gets worse!" Kate asserted. Some of her energy seemed to have returned. She was enthusiastic, but in a whole different way than in the first half of the duel. "I activate a Spell Card, Encore Performance!"

She slammed the card into her Pocket Disk, and the image of a new card materialized on the field. Its illustration was divided into three different triangles, each with a different scene: Loyal Sidekick intercepting an attack from Despicable Villain meant for Brave Hero, Love Interest kneeling before Wise Elder, and Brave Hero raising his sword to face Terrible Monstrosity.

"Since I just destroyed a Monster in battle, my Terrible Monstrosity can attack again, so long as I end my Battle Phase right afterward. Not that it matters, though, since it's my only Monster. So let's give this another try! Pentecost holocaust!"

The puppeteer holograms raised the wires, and this time did something different: they pulled much harder, and hoisted the Terrible Monstrosity into the air before launching the attack.

This was something for which Sonya was thoroughly unprepared. No duelist is prepared to take an attack from the F.G.D., and though this facsimile was a weaker, watered-down version, its attack was almost as deadly. Sonya couldn't remain standing from the five simultaneous blasts. Her body felt as if it were shattering like glass, her head like it was in a blender.

And then, just like that, it was over.

(S: 600) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 3,700)

"Ready to give up now?" Kate jeered. "I really don't want to hurt you. I just want to leave."

"I told you," Sonya reminded, as she struggled to her feet. She could barely stand, but she would recover soon enough. "I'm not giving up on this duel or you. And you're making things worse and worse for yourself, Kate. Look at what you're doing—you're turning your back on the only human in the world who actually wants to help you. And I can, if you'll just let me. Please."

Kate looked at the other doll golems, who gazed at her with what Sonya assumed were looks of indecision and regret, then turned back and shook her head.

"I have my own plan, Sonya," she sighed. "And it's our best hope."

"Your 'plan' is to beg for help from people you've never even met, hoping they'll assist you just because you're the same race of Shadow! You need a better plan, and I can arrange it, if you just put up with one last show! I know it's painful, Kate, but I know you have it in you, and then you'll never have to do it again!"

Kate and Sonya stared each other down (it was easy for Kate, since she had no eyelids), and finally Kate said something.

"I can't. I'm not a glutton for punishment. But since you apparently are, I'll set this facedown and turn things over to you."

She placed another card in her Disk's Spell Zone, and another facedown card appeared above the amphitheater.

Sonya scowled, then turned to the other doll golems. "Do you all reject my offer?" she asked.

The doll golems looked at each other, then at Kate, and then at Sonya, before Princeton spoke up.

"We stick together," he said. "If Kate thinks this is the right move, then we'll go with her."

Rod, Nicky, and Lucy nodded in agreement.

The Shadowchaser had nothing to say to that. She just plucked a card from the top of her deck.

"Sorry, Sonya," Kate apologized out of the blue. "But this turn will be your last. I activate my Trap Card, Final Bow."

The card that Kate had set two turns ago flipped around, revealing a Trap with the image of Wise Elder, Despicable Villain, Loyal Sidekick, Brave Hero, Love Interest, and Comedy Relief with their arms linked, taking a bow in front of the Grand Performance Stage's original castle backdrop. The audience's applause grew louder and louder.

"This card's a powerful one, and risky, too. I can only activate it during my opponent's Draw Phase, and only if the Grand Performance Stage is active. Then, I pick a Method Actor on my field, and you have until the end of the turn to somehow get it off the field. If you manage that, I take damage equal to its base Attack. But if you don't, you take the damage instead.

"Obviously, I choose my Method Actor—Terrible Monstrosity."

Sonya gasped. "That's…insane! Even with the risk, that card is ridiculously powerful when combined with Terrible Monstrosity! There has to be some cost!"

"There is," Kate replied. "Namely, when this card is activated, you get to draw until you have six cards in your hand."

Sonya raised an eyebrow, but didn't object to the help. She drew four more cards and added them to her hand posthaste.

"But if you think you can get rid of my Method Actor with a card's effect, think again," Kate warned. "Because I'm activating my other Trap, Silent Moment!"

The doll golem's other facedown card spun around, exposing a Trap Card with the illustration of Brave Hero holding a dying Loyal Sidekick's hand. Despite her pain, she was smiling, completely at peace.

"This will render my Terrible Monstrosity untouchable by all of your cards' effects until the end of the turn!"

"Awesome combo, Kate!" Nicky laughed.

"Indeed," Rod agreed. "Now the only way for her to avoid taking all that damage is to destroy Terrible Monstrosity in battle, and it has 3,800 Attack Points!"

"And, even better, Sonya doesn't even have a Monster on the field!" Lucy added. "She's finished!"

Princeton was the only one who didn't cheer. He just kept staring at Sonya, almost…pleading.

Sonya stared at her hand. She had some good cards, but nothing that came close to beating Kate's Monster, especially without the help of effects. Still, there was hope. She had most of the pieces she needed, and a way of getting more.

"Okay, Kate," she said. "I'll start by activating my Pot of Avarice!"

She played the card, then took Goldd, Sillva, Brron, Beiige, and Jalal from her Disk's Graveyard slot and shuffled them into her deck (save for Jalal, which went to her Extra Deck), then drew two cards.

Still a piece missing, she thought. But I still might be able to draw it…

"Next," she announced, playing one of the cards she just drew. "I activate Card of Safe Return. This allows me to draw a card every time a Monster is Special Summoned from my Graveyard.

"Then," she continued. "I'll set a Trap Card facedown."

A facedown card materialized in front of her.

"And you're telling me it's a Trap Card…why?" Kate asked, putting her hands on her hips (as best she could with the wire in her left hand).

"Because you're about to see it in action anyway. I'll continue by playing Dark World Lightning, which destroys a facedown card on the field, even if it's one of my own."

Lightning struck the facedown card, and it burst into pixels.

"But, since my Trap was Statue of the Wicked, I get a Wicked Token to replace it."

An ugly creature, a hybrid of centipede and snake wearing a gold crown, burst out of the seats. (1,000 ATK)

"On top of that, Dark World Lightning requires that I discard a card from my hand as part of its effect."

She smiled and slipped one of her cards into her Graveyard.

"Oh, let me guess," Kate groaned. "It was one of your Dark World Monsters, and now you're going to Special Summon it to your field."

"Wrong!" Sonya laughed. "I'm going to Special Summon it to yours! Arise, Ceruli, Guru of Dark World!"

An ugly wheezing was heard, and a Monster wandered out from stage left. It was a short, stocky Fiend with downward-curving horns and a helmet that seemed to be made from a mummified hand. Its clothes, however, were much fancier: a silk blue cape and a polished azure chestplate. It stared up in awe and fear at Method Actor—Terrible Monstrosity. (100 ATK)

"And since he was Special Summoned from my Graveyard, my Card of Safe Return lets me draw another card!"

She picked up another card and stared at it. Still not it!

"And, when Ceruli's Special Summoned via his own effect, he makes the opponent discard a card!"

"But I have nothing in my hand!" Kate laughed. "So his effect is worthless!"

"His effect doesn't apply to you, Kate," Sonya retorted. "From where he stands, I'm the opponent!"

"No!" Kate snarled. "You're bringing out him, aren't you?"

The Shadowchaser nodded. "That's right. I'm discarding Reign-Beaux, Overlord of Dark World to the Graveyard. And since he was technically discarded by an opponent's card effect, I can Special Summon him back!"

Yet more laughter sounded, this the loudest and most terrifying yet. The shadows converged in the stands, and Reign-Beaux emerged. This time it was no Method Actor—his dark flesh, curved horns, and deadly sasumata were very, very real…you know, for holograms. (2,500 ATK)

"No!" Kate cried, before she doubled over laughing. "Oh, wait," she said, pretending she only just came to a realization. "Thanks to my Silent Moment, Reign-Beaux's effect can't destroy Terrible Monstrosity! The only thing that he can wipe out is your own Ceruli!"

Sonya let out another smirk and shook her head. "That's not the only thing he can destroy…" she informed.

Kate cocked her head. "What do you mean?" she demanded. "When Reign-Beaux is Special Summoned by his own effect, he destroys all Monsters on the opponent's field! I've seen it myself!"

"Yes," Sonya laughed. "He can do that, but he actually has a second option. He can either destroy all of your Monsters…or all of your Spells and Traps."

The furry doll golem sprang right up. "But…that means…"

"Your Grand Performance Stage is history!"

Reign-Beaux let out his wicked laugh once more, and raised his sasumata, then blasted a concentrated beam of rainbow-colored energy that blew apart the stage, once again restoring the room to its proper location as a ballroom in a mine. Surprisingly, the black-clad Method Actors were still around, as was the platform on which they stood, which was now attached to the ceiling of the mine. Still, they gave some slack to the giant, five-headed prop. (3,800/3,800) -) (3,500/3,500)

"And, of course, Card of Safe Return lets me draw another card."

Come on!, she thought as she snatched the card, but then she frowned. Not it, she groaned inside her head. But it'll give me one more chance.

"Now," she said, placing the card she'd just drawn onto her Disk's tray. "I summon the Tuner Monster, Sinister Sprocket!"

In a flash of light, a giant spool bound in iron chains with one staring eye flew out of the floor.

"And I think you can guess what happens next!"

Sonya didn't chant this time, but Reign-Beaux and Sinister Sprocket dissolved into stars, and once again flew into a circle and formed a spinning ring.

(*1 + *7 = *8)

"Welcome back, Jalal," Sonya greeted when her boss emerged from the ring. He gave her a curt nod in response, then began to study Method Actor—Terrible Monstrosity.

Kate, on the other hand, wasn't impressed. "Is that all you've got?" she jeered. "A two-bit Warrior that my Terrible Monstrosity blasted apart once before?

"Or are you somehow planning on using his effect? Well, Sonya, even if I hadn't used Silent Moment, it wouldn't do you any good. Flipping a card facedown doesn't technically count as removing it from the field, and my Terrible Monstrosity has a Defense Score just as high as his Attack!"

Sonya scowled at this insult to her boss, but she took a deep breath and let it go. "You're right," she confessed, taking Kate by surprise. "His first effect is useless. But I may still be able to use another.

"Now, if you recall, I used two Monsters in Dragonprince Jalal's Synchro Summon, just like last time, so he gets two Fortune Counters."

As she said this, two more glowing spheres began orbiting around Jalal's sword.

"And I'll remove them both to draw one card."

Jalal turned around and raised his sword, flinging both of the balls of light straight at Sonya's Duel Disk. Her deck absorbed them, and a card slid out into her fingers. She turned it away from herself, hoping against hope that it was the card she needed.

Please, please, please be the right card!, she prayed.

Then she turned the card around and smiled.

"You were right, Kate," she said. "This will be my last turn—because I now have everything I need to win!"

"Impossible!" Kate snapped, thrashing around on her elf's arm. "No way you're telling the truth!"

"I'm sorry, Kate," Sonya said, her tone sincere, as Jalal stared at the enraged doll golem at her wit's end. "But I am. I activate the Spell Card, Burning Soul Sword!"

Jalal's sword disappeared and was replaced by a much fancier orange one.

"This lets him increase his Attack Power by that of any Monster I sacrifice to him, and I'm sacrificing my Wicked Token!"

She played the card, and the Wicked Token dissolved into a thin white mist, and then flowed directly into Dragonprince Jalal's sword. Jalal held the blade to the sky, swelling with pride and power. (2,500 ATK) -) (3,500 ATK)

"NO!" Kate wailed. "Now he's as powerful as my Method Actor!"

"That's the plan!" Sonya smirked. "Are you ready, Jalal?"

Her boss's avatar nodded, and Sonya grinned.

"Good. Then destroy Method Actor—Terrible Monstrosity with burning soul slash!"

Jalal gritted his teeth and leapt into the air, but when he was only halfway to the five-headed abomination, it let loose its quintuple-element attack. Unlike the other Monsters who faced it down, though, Jalal weathered through, slowing down only slightly, but showing clear signs of injury. Then, with three swipes of his sword, he sliced off every one of the giant prop's heads, and then cleaved it in twain before he hit the ground.

Once he landed, however, Jalal's injuries became much clearer. He panted and sweated, then finally collapsed to the ground and exploded into triangles.

At the same time, Terrible Monstrosity turned into pixels, soon followed by his operators and the platform on which they stood.

Kate's jaw fell open, one of the few facial expressions of which she was capable, but she said nothing. She was too stunned.

"I guess I'll just set this facedown and end my turn, then," Sonya said as a facedown card appeared in front of her. "And I think you recall what that means."

Kate's made a gulping sound, then turned to her fellow golems and mumbled a single word.

"…shit!"

The ghostly image of her Final Bow card appeared over her head, and more voices echoed through the cavern. This wasn't the laughter of Sonya's Dark World Monsters, though, or even the cheers from the Grand Performance Stage's audience. This was loud, angry booing, which grew louder and louder. Sonya gritted her teeth in annoyance, but Kate was clearly taking it much harder. She was clamping her hands to the sides of her head and shrieking at the top of her lungs. After a moment, she collapsed to the floor, puppeteer and all. She must've been very sensitive to negative reviews…

(S: 600) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 200)

Immediately, Princeton and Lucy rushed over to help, each of them grabbing one of Kate's handler's shoulders with their own puppet arms.

"Please get up, Kate!" Princeton pleaded. "We've already lost one friend! We can't lose another!"

"You're still in this, honey!" Lucy begged. "You can win! You've got all of our support!"

At these words, Princeton surreptitiously turned his head to Sonya and ever so slightly tipped it down.

Kate didn't seem to notice. She got her handler back to her feet and dusted herself off, then held up her Duel Disk.

"You're right, Lucy," she said, though forming words seemed to be a struggle for her. "I do still have a chance. All I need is a decent Monster."

It took some effort, but Kate managed to draw a card. She laughed and turned it around.

"I did it!" she laughed. "I drew another Despicable Villain! That's plenty strong! And you even gave me a Monster to sacrifice! How ironic is it, Sonya, that an actor playing your favorite Monster would finish you off?"

"Very ironic," Sonya replied. "Or it would be, if you ever got the chance. But you won't, because I'm activating my final card."

Her facedown card lifted up, and the doll golems gasped.

"Ceasefire. A concept which you should consider. It deals you five-hundred points of damage for every Effect Monster on the field. And Ceruli's still around."

Kate groaned as the last of her Life Points were drained away.

(S: 600) - - - - - - - - - - (KM: 0)

The holograms faded, and Kate and the other doll golems allowed their handlers to slump to the floor, depressed.

At that second, Sonya's phone rang. She immediately answered. It was Jalal, of course.

"Excellent work, Sonya!" he laughed, right off the bat. "Very nice turnaround!"

"Thanks," Sonya replied. "But don't leave me hanging. Tell me about the card!"

"Of course. Well, it turns out it's just a card. Not a trace of malevolence that I could see. I'd liken it to a sculpture of Satan made in arts and crafts at the YMCA."

"Good," Sonya said. "But I need to go. I'm running out of time. But could you meet me at the Twin Cities HQ in three hours? I need your help."

"Ah," her boss replied with a chuckle. "I see what you have in mind. Well, I'll have to skip my yoga exercises for today, but this is clearly more important. I'll be there."

"Great! Goodbye, then!"

"Goodbye."

Sonya hung up, then moved over to the doll golems, who were off moping in the corner of the room.

"That was a great duel, Kate," she said, getting their attention. "I really thought you had me a couple of times."

The golems stared at her, but didn't speak.

"Of course, you did make some mistakes. You gave me an opening with that Final Bow when you were about to beat me anyway. And you had nothing to fear from me trying to destroy that Terrible Monstrosity with Silent Moment facedown."

Kate looked her in the eyes, but said nothing.

"Look, we had a bet, and you're coming back to the Ordway, but if you'll let me, I can still help you. Come on. What do you say?"

Kate turned her head and remained silent. Princeton, on the other hand, spoke up.

"Come on, Kate!" he demanded, now actually sounding aggravated. "This girl's done nothing but offer to help since this duel began, and I, for one, am going to trust her! She says she can make things better. Well, she sure can't make them worse! You want to stay here and mope? Fine! Anyone who wants their lives to get better, I'm glad to have by my side!"

The other doll golems, save for Kate, allowed their puppeteers to get to their feet, and stared at Princeton and Sonya.

"He's right," Lucy agreed. "We can't do this on our own. We just can't."

"We need all the friends we can get," Nicky sighed.

"You're an organization to help Shadows," Rod remembered. "That's something I can get behind."

Finally, Kate looked up and choked out a few words.

"You really do care, don't you?" she asked, sounding like she was about to cry again. "This isn't just because it's your job or something?"

Sonya gave her a warm smile, and despite her ragged appearance, it was quite touching. "I came here because it's my job. I'm helping you because you're my friend."

"'F-friend'?" Kate echoed.

"That's right. And if you do this one show, I'll help you. What do you say?"

Kate paused, but then nodded. "Okay," she said. "One more show. But on one condition."

Sonya frowned. "Oh?" she responded. "And what's that?"

"I want you to be my handler during the show."

"What?" the Shadowchaser exclaimed. "I can't do that! I'm not an actress!"

"No, no, it'll be easy, I promise! I'll guide you through the whole thing. You just need to wear me and hold my wire, and I'll handle the rest. Please, I just can't make it through this again without a true friend by my side at all times! Please!"

Kate sighed, but nodded. "Okay," she said. Then she checked her watch and jumped. "Oh, crap! We've only got ten minutes to the opening curtain!"

"So?" Princeton replied. "We can get to the Ordway on your D-Wheel with time to spare."

"In one trip, yes," the Shadowchaser agreed. "But even with me acting as Kate's puppeteer, there are still five elves to transport!"

"Oh, there are plenty of understudies," Nicky snickered. "I mean, all they do is hold us and pretend to be the actors. If we detach ourselves, we can get down there just in time. Come on, guys!"

The doll golems all nodded, and instantly their handlers reached up and ripped them off of their arms and dropped them to the floor.

"Oh, thank goodness I'm free of that nightmare!" Rod's puppeteer exclaimed.

"It was no picnic for me, either," Rod grumbled.

"I'm afraid I need to take these doll golems and your bag and go," Sonya told the elves, who were stretching out and enjoying their returned freedom. She took a card out of her pocket and handed it to the nearest one, Lucy's former host. "Here's the address for the Shadowchasers' Twin Cities headquarters. I want to see you there when I return in three hours. We have a lot to talk about."

"Yes," Kate's handler agreed. "We understand completely."

With that, Sonya stuffed the five puppets as best she could into Nicky's duffel bag and ran out of the caves with the elves as fast as their legs would take them, locking the door behind her on her way out.

Three hours later, Sonya was finally done with the show. However happy Calliope was when the Shadowchaser had returned with the doll golems and what they had stolen, that quickly vanished when they expressed Kate's wish for Sonya to be her operator. Luckily, with only two minutes before the show, the elf had no time to argue, and allowed it.

It wasn't easy, either. Though Kate guided all of Sonya's movements, she could still feel Kate's rage burning into her during the more stressful parts, specifically the songs "The Internet is for Porn", "There's a Fine, Fine Line", and "The More You Ruv Someone". Still, Kate didn't let her temper distract her from the performance, and it was over before she knew it.

Then, after a rather firm suggestion from Sonya, Calliope returned with her and the doll golems to HQ, where she met with the golems' handlers, Jalal (meeting with them via hologram), and Sonya's three teammates, Justine, Ka, and Ricky.

"What, uh…what exactly is this?" Calliope asked, staring at the weirdness around her.

"It's a conference, my dear," Jalal told her. Unlike his card, he wasn't wearing armor. Instead, he had on some very fancy and expensive clothes that must've been all the rage in 19th century London. "It seems that you've been mistreating your employees quite severely."

Calliope's eyes went wide. "What?" she cried. "How dare you! All of my employees are given the best of care! I've never gotten a single complaint that couldn't be ironed out in moments!"

"From the elves, yes," Jalal said, giving her a curt nod. "But I'm referring to your doll golems."

"'The doll golems'?" Calliope repeated.

"They are sentient creatures, my dear, and, from what I've heard, both in person and secondhand, you've been denying them wages, proper living accommodations, and attention. You do not bring life into this world without being ready to accept the consequences. Do I make myself clear?"

Calliope gulped. "I—I didn't realize," she said, staring at the floor. "My troupe has made golems before, but those were mostly for heavy lifting. None of us really...really realized the difference. We treated them like we always treat our golems. I guess it was like owning dogs my whole life, and then getting a cat and expecting it to be exactly the same. I must be the dumbest elf alive."

"It's a distinct possibility," Lucy snarled. She and the other doll golems were propped up on a couch, and, unsurprisingly, they weren't in the best of moods.

"Don't act as if you're innocent in this," Sonya told her. "You five are guilty of theft and kidnapping. Despite your motives, those are serious crimes."

"Like I said," Calliope muttered. "I won't press charges. It's the least I can do…"

"That's a good start," Jalal commented. "Now, how about you both give an apology for your wrongdoings? Kate?"

Kate sighed, but got up her courage and spoke. "We're sorry we almost ruined your show and stole your decks and your money and your Pocket Disk…and your actors," she told the elves. "It's just that we didn't know what else to do. You clearly didn't show any concern for our lives, considering what happened to Trekkie, and we knew you were going to turn us back into puppets after the show. It was wrong, but we were scared, and we felt unloved."

"No," Calliope told her. "I'm the one who's sorry. We were absolute monsters toward you. We treated you like objects, and ignored your complaints. Please, there must be some way I can make it up to you—some way we can forget this whole unpleasantness and start over."

The doll golems all looked at each other, and then turned to their creator. "We can never forget," Kate replied. "But…maybe we can forgive. Maybe."

"But there'll have to be some big changes!" Rod added. To emphasize his point, he jerked his head forward and almost fell off the sofa.

"Of course!" the seven elves all said in unison.

"Very good," Jalal said. "If both sides are willing to drop all the charges, then I see no reason to process all of this. However, we clearly need to hammer out the exact conditions of your new arrangement, and none of you are leaving until we do."

"Uh, Jalal?" Justine suddenly asked, raising her hand as she stifled a yawn. "That's all well and good, but it's getting pretty late, and everyone here's pretty wiped. Think we can go to bed on this happy note and work out the conditions in the morning?"

"We'll gladly provide sleeping arrangements for our guests," Sonya offered.

Jalal stared at them, drinking in their tired eyes and drooping heads, and nodded. "Very well. I'll see you all in ten hours. And you five," he said, staring at the doll golems. "Try not to go to bed angry, all right?"

Two weeks later, Sonya got an email from Kate.

Dear Sonya,

Today's the big day! The day my friends and I get transferred into our new bodies! They're made of modeling clay. How great is that? We can stretch and morph to play hundreds of different roles! We're all really excited.

Calliope and the other elves have really been going out of their way to make us comfortable. She's typing the email right now (Hi, Sonya!). I'm starting to forgive them, but the healing process is going to take a while. Still, we're off to a good start.

Oh, and the best news: Thanks to Jalal's connectons, we got ahold of Creature Shop! Scooter says that when we hit L.A., they'll send Statler and Waldorf to see the performance. They're expecting a private balcony, of course. Anyway, if we impress them, they'll hook us up with the Creature Shop's agents when the tour's over! Don't worry, though. I have it on good authority that they just like making jokes. They're actually rather easily impressed.

I really can't thank you enough for everything you did: Introducing me to Jalal, helping us with our situation, and most of all, never giving up on me. You're a true friend. I'll get you and your group free tickets when the tour comes back to the Twin Cities. I also want a rematch.

Wishing you well,

Kate Monster

P.S. The elves let us decide which show we're doing this year. I won't spoil the surprise about what it is, but here's a hint: It's a big bright beautiful world out there, and I'm going to experience it firsthand.

Well, I guess a weird case now and then won't kill me. In fact, as Kate would say, there's a fine, fine line between weird and extraordinary. Variety is the spice of life, after all. And I suppose it's not as bad as that transgender arcane golem. I can't wait to see Kate's play!

GRAND PERFORMANCE STAGE (Spell Card)

Field Spell

Image: A domed amphitheater with the closed curtains decorated with the Shakespearean masks of comedy and tragedy, surrounded by a semicircle of tiered seats full of shadowy spectators.

Card Description: All "Method Actor" Monsters on the field gain 300 ATK and DEF.

METHOD ACTOR—BRAVE HERO (Monster Card)

Card Specs

Type: Spellcaster/Effect

Attribute: Light

Level: 4

ATK: 1,600

DEF: 1,300

Card Description: As long as "Grand Performance Stage" is face-up on the field, your opponent cannot attack any Monsters except for this one.

METHOD ACTOR—LOVE INTEREST (Monster Card)

Card Specs

Type: Spellcaster/Effect

Attribute: Light

Level: 4

ATK: 1,500

DEF: 1,700

Card Description: As long as "Grand Performance Stage" is face-up on the field, "Method Actor" Monsters on your field cannot be destroyed by the effects of Trap Cards.

METHOD ACTOR—WISE ELDER (Monster Card)

Card Specs

Type: Spellcaster/Effect

Attribute: Light

Level: 2

ATK: 300

DEF: 2,000

Card Description: FLIP: Take one "Grand Performance Stage" from your deck and add it to your hand.

METHOD ACTOR—DESPICABLE VILLAIN (Monster Card)

Card Specs

Type: Spellcaster/Effect

Attribute: Light

Level: 6

ATK: 2,000

DEF: 1,700

Card Description: As long as "Grand Performance Stage" is face-up on the field, all of your opponent's Monsters lose 300 ATK.

METHOD ACTOR—COMEDY RELIEF (Monster Card)

Card Specs

Type: Spellcaster/Effect

Attribute: Light

Level: 3

ATK: 1,000

DEF: 800

Card Description: All "Method Actor" Monsters on your field gain 300 ATK.

METHOD ACTOR—LOYAL SIDEKICK

Card Specs

Type: Spellcaster/Effect

Attribute: Light

Level: 3

ATK: 1,300

DEF: 1,400

Card Description: As long as "Grand Performance Stage" is face-up on the field, when a "Method Actor" you control would be destroyed, you can destroy this card instead.

METHOD ACTOR—TERRIBLE MONSTROSITY (Monster Card)

Card Specs

Type: Spellcaster/Effect

Attribute: Light

Level: 9

ATK: 3,500

DEF: 3,500

Card Description: This card cannot be Normal Summoned or set. This card can only be Special Summoned by tributing 3 face-up "Method Actor" Monsters on your field. This card cannot attack on the turn that it is Special Summoned. If "Grand Performance Stage" is face-up when this card is Special Summoned, you can destroy every card on the field except for this one and "Grand Performance Stage".

STAGE FIGHTING (Trap Card)

Continuous Trap

Image: Method Actor—Brave Hero and Method Actor—Despicable Villain about to fight in front of the Grand Performance Stage's wasteland backdrop.

Card Description: This card can only be activated if "Grand Performance Stage" is face-up on the field. "Method Actor" Monsters in Attack Mode on your field cannot be destroyed in battle. All Battle Damage dealt to you from a battle involving a "Method Actor" Monster on your field is doubled. If there is no face-up "Grand Performance Stage" on the field, destroy this card.

INTERMISSION (Spell Card)

Quick-Play Spell

Image: Grand Performance Stage with the curtains closed, the audience walking away.

Card Description: This card can only be activated during the Battle Phase when "Grand Performance Stage" is face-up on the field. Automatically end the Battle Phase and increase your Life Points by 300 for each face-up "Method Actor" on the field.

ENCORE PERFORMANCE (Spell Card)

Quick-Play Spell

Image: Three triangles depicting different scenes: Method Actor—Loyal Sidekick intercepting an attack from Method Actor—Despicable Villain meant for Method Actor—Brave Hero in front of the wasteland backdrop, Method Actor—Love Interest kneeling before Method Actor—Wise Elder in front of the dark castle backdrop, and Method Actor—Brave Hero raising his sword to face Method Actor—Terrible Monstrosity in front of the evil castle backdrop.

Card Description: You can only activate this card during your Battle Phase if there is a face-up "Grand Performance Stage" on the field after a Monster on your field successfully destroys an opponent's Monster in battle. That Monster can attack once again in a row. Afterward, immediately end your Battle Phase.

SILENT MOMENT (Trap Card)

Normal Trap

Image: Method Actor—Brave Hero holding the dying Method Actor—Loyal Sidekick's hand in front of the Grand Performance Stage's wasteland backdrop. Despite her pain, she is smiling.

Card Description: This card can only be activated if "Grand Performance Stage" is face-up on the field. Select a face-up "Method Actor" Monster on your field. Until this turn's End Phase, the selected Monster is unaffected by the opponent's Spell and Trap Cards and Monster effects.

FINAL BOW (Trap Card)

Normal Trap

Image: Method Actor—Wise Elder, Method Actor—Despicable Villain, Method Actor—Loyal Sidekick, Method Actor—Brave Hero, Method Actor—Love Interest, and Method Actor—Comedy Relief with their arms linked, taking a bow in front of the Grand Performance Stage's castle backdrop.

Card Description: This card can only be activated during your opponent's Draw Phase when "Grand Performance Stage" is face-up on the field. Your opponent draws until he/she has six cards in his/her hand. Select a face-up "Method Actor" Monster on your field. If this Monster is removed from the field before the turn's End Phase, inflict direct damage to yourself equal to the its original ATK. If not, inflict this damage to your opponent.

BURNING SOUL SWORD (Spell Card)

Equip Spell

Image: A fancy orange sword surrounded by flames.

Card Description: Once per turn, during your Main Phase, you may tribute 1 Monster on your field (other than the equipped Monster). Until the End Phase of this turn, the equipped Monster's ATK is increased by the original ATK of the tributed Monster.

(Note: This card was originally used by Jyonouchi in the Yu-Gi-Oh! episode "Courtroom Chaos, Part 2". Creative credit goes to the writers of that episode.)

DRAGONPRINCE JALAL (Monster Card)

Card Specs

Type: Warrior/Synchro/Effect

Attribute: Light

Level: 8

ATK: 2,500

DEF: 1,900

Card Description: Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner Monsters

When this card is Synchro Summoned, place 1 "Fortune Counter" on this card for each Monster used in the Synchro Summoning. Once per turn, during your turn, you may remove any number of "Fortune Counters" from this card to activate the appropriate effect.

1 Counter: Select 1 card on the field and place it in set position (if a Monster Card is chosen, switch it to Defense Position).

2 Counters: Draw 1 card.

3 Counters: Destroy 1 card on the field.

Note: This card was created by fanfic author Darkblur.

(WOW! THAT WAS LONG! I am downright exhausted, but very, very satisfied. I hope you are, too. Now, before I go and rest, you know the deal: Review, tell me what you think, and, as a bonus, BROWNIE POINTS FOR ANYONE WHO CAN GUESS KATE'S NEXT SHOW!)