Alright, you voted, and you get what you voted for. But seriously, the people who voted for the "make it a different pairing" thing, you better be joking. If you were serious, TOO BAD! I'm not gonna tell you what won, you'll have to read it for that. Kinda glad that no one voted for the "MikoKuro in Heaven" thing.

MikoKuro 5ever: Your idea is not Horrid lol, but it seems like, knowing Mikoto, that would just lead to her getting angry at Kuroko for putting her through that emotional trauma, you know?

Enough of me. Let's get on with it, shall we?

Disclaimer: OBVIOUSLY I DON'T OWN THIS SERIES. Isn't that why it's called "Fanfiction"? ._.

Blood-Stained Roses Chapter 4: The White Rose Burned Into Ash (Part Two)

My mother had once told me that I have to be brave, no matter what happens to me. Right now it's looking pretty impossible. It's been a week since Kuroko's death, but it feels like it was just yesterday that I found her laying there, bloody and helpless.

And why was she like that? Because of me. I had always ignored her feelings for me, yet she still loved me enough to risk her life to save me. But, what exactly was she saving me from? She was very vague in her note, only saying "they". Who the hell is "they"?

As for finding the killer, or killers, Ruiko, Touma, and I are having no luck. We've checked the security cameras many times, but for some odd reason, we never get any footage of Kuroko at all; or that alley, for that matter. Uiharu tells me that the killers might have shut down the cameras in the alley. But I've checked, and the cameras are just fine. Well, I'm not exactly a technician or anything, though.

The fact that we cannot find out who killed Kuroko is not what's scaring me. What's scaring me is that we can't even find evidence that she did die. We all know she did, we saw her body, after all. But on the cameras- nothing. Zero, Zip, Nada.

As for how I'm holding up, it's not well at all. I always feel lazy and depressed. I'm lonely without my roommate, I'll admit it. And I'd give anything to have her back. But there's nothing for me to give. We may live in Academy City, where most students have super powers, but I don't think there's an ability capable of resurrecting someone.

I wish there was an ability that was capable of mending a broken heart.

Lately, Ruiko, Touma, and I have been hanging out a lot more. I feel like I've grown closer to both of them as friends. They're great, the way they are willing to support me all the way through like this. But sometimes, I don't need sympathy. I just want someone to listen to what I have to say about this whole situation. I don't need any of that, "Oh, I'm sorry" crap. I just want to be heard, not comforted.

One afternoon, I get a text from Touma, asking me if I want to hang out. At the moment, I'm definitely not in the mood to hang out or have fun, but maybe he'll listen to me, if anyone will. I decide to just go along with it.

I walk to a bench in the park and sit there, where he told me wait. He's late. I think angrily. But as soon as I do, he comes up to me yelling, "Oi, Biribiri!" With two ice cream cones in his hand. He sits down next to me and hands me one of them.

"Here," he says, smiling. "Sorry I'm late. I went ahead and bought one for you."

What is this, a cheesy date?

"Thanks." I say quietly, taking a lick.

"Saten isn't with you?" He asks. I shake my head. "No. It's not like she follows me everywhere I go, you know." No, Ruiko is not a stalker.

He laughs at that. "I didn't mean it like that," He says, waving it off. "I just thought you'd be more comfortable if she were here."

I shake my head again, looking down. "What did you want, anyway?" I ask.

"How are you, Biribiri?" He asks. It's a simple question. But it makes me want to punch him. I'm not good, that's for sure. How can I be? "I know you're devastated by Shirai's death," he continues. "But you hide it well. Are you alright?"

Am I alright? The question rings through my head about a million times. Are you alright, Misaka Mikoto? A voice asks me. I can't answer it. I don't know. I say to it. No, there's no way I can be alright.

"Of course I'm not alright!" I shout at him. "What kind of question is that? How would you feel if you lost your best friend and you couldn't figure out why? The only thing you know is that they died to protect you?"

He shakes his head. "Sorry," he says. "I understand."

"No, you don't! You don't understand, no one does! I've lost Kuroko, and now I'll never get her back-" Suddenly realization hits me hard. I've lost Kuroko, and I'll never see her again.

Ever.

I want to see her again. Alive. Alive and well, in front of me with her usual smile. Why can't I? What did I do to deserve this? And Kuroko had to die alone, because I wasn't there for her.

I lean forward with my hands covering my face so that he can't see the tears. But it's pretty obvious that I'm crying. You don't hide your pain. It's bad for you.

I feel his hand grip my shoulder tightly. It's like in his right hand I can almost feel his Imagine Breaker. But that's pretty much impossible. I'm just imagining things. "I'm sorry, Misaka." he says softly. "You don't need to hold back, just let it out."

I take my face out of my hands and swat his away. "I don't have anything to let out." I say hoarsely, my through clogged with sobs that need to be pushed back down.

I take a bite out of the cone once my ice cream is finished. It's then that he decides to say, "You loved Shirai, didn't you?"

I almost choke, coughing violently. He swats my back lightly a couple times. Once I'm better, he keeps doing it. "Okay, you can stop now!" I say, smacking him lightly. He laughs, and pretty soon, I'm laughing too. Though I shouldn't be. I don't feel giggly. I feel like shit.

I lean back against the bench and close my eyes.

"Are you going to sleep?" He asks.

"Mm." I grumble.

"Is that a yes?"

"Mm."

"Are you going to answer me?"

"Are you going to stop asking me so many questions?" I say sharply, giving him a death stare. He winces.

'But you're not answering my question," he says. "Which one?" I ask.

"I asked if you loved Shirai." He repeats. I feel my face heat up and I look away. "Why are you asking?"

He stares at me like I just asked the dumbest question any human being could possibly ask. "Of course I did, and still do." I say.

"As a friend? Or more?" He pushes further.

Now that perplexes me. I loved Kuroko, like anyone would love a best friend. But... Did I also see her as more than that? I already came to terms with the fact that I loved her, but I wasn't sure in what way I did.

"I don't know." I say.

Touma sighs. "Misaka, you need to come to terms with your feelings." He says. It's true, I do. Though I'll never admit that to him.

"There's no point in it now," I say softly, staring at the grass on the ground, how it sways beautifully in the wind. It is sunny and hot outside, yet I feel dark and cold.

"A friend would eventually move on from a death, since you're so young," Touma says, his expression hardening. "But if you truly loved her, you would never get over it."

I stare at him wide-eyed. He's right. And I know that I will never get over Kuroko's death, for as long as I live. I try to imagine myself in the future, but I can't imagine a future without Kuroko there. I simply can't. I won't move on. Ever.

I stand up and stretch, needing to just move away from the conversation. "Enough of this," I say. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Touma nods and smiles at me. "Right. I understand. If you don't mind, I'm gonna go do a little investigating." he says vaguely. I raise an eyebrow at him. "Investigating?"

"We're still trying to find the killer, right?" He asks, grinning like an idiot.

I sigh. "Fine. You have fun with that." I walk off before he can retort.

I'm not mad at Touma. I'm not mad at anyone. If anything, I'm mad at Kuroko. She was truly the biggest idiot on the planet. Did she ever think about my feelings before going ahead and risking her life to save me? Surely she knew that it would not slide over well with me.

Surely she knew that I would rather be dead than be without her.

Surely.

I decide to do a little shopping to get my mind off of things. I stare at a new Gekota pajama set, and think about what Kuroko would say if she were here. Probably something along the lines of- "Onee-Sama, again?..." and then sigh. I giggle at the thought, then shake my head. Stop thinking about her. I tell myself.

I go ahead and buy the pajamas. It's already sunset as I walk back to the dormitory. A beautiful sunset. I stare at it, not looking where I'm going, until I bump into someone.

I gasp and the other person lets out an 'oof' noise. She's on the ground, clutching her head with her eyes shut tight.

"Kongou-san?" I ask.

She opens her eyes and stares at me for a second. "Oh! Misaka-san!" She says happily.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention." I say, reaching out my hand to her. She takes it gladly. "Don't worry, I can be a bit clumsy myself." She says.

"Wannai-san and Awatsuki-san aren't with you?" I ask.

"O-Oh!" She blushes and uses her fan to cover her face. "Th-They were with me just a moment ago! I was just heading back to the dormitory-"

"But you're walking the opposite way of the dormitory." I point out, raising an eyebrow. I can see her red face become even more red. She's really weird.

"W-What are you up to right now, Misaka-san?" She asks, changing the subject.

"I was going back to the dormitory after some shopping." I say, holding up the bag with the pajamas in it to show her.

"Oh I see. Let us walk together, then!" She exclaims, hooking her arm around mine and pulling me in the direction away from the dormitory.

"K-Kongou-san? The dormitory's this way..." I say, pointing in the correct direction.

"I-I knew that! I was merely joking..." She whispers the last part and practically drags me.

We walk in silence for a while. Her face seems troubled, as if there's something she wants to say, but doesn't want to at the same time. I can pretty much tell what it is. She wants to ask me about Kuroko. It makes me wonder how she feels. I know they didn't get along very well, but nonetheless, they could at least have been under the title of "acquaintances".

"I take it you know what happened to Kuroko?" I ask out of the blue, making her jump a little. She stares at me with a shocked yet sad expression.

"Oh, Misaka-san, I'm so sorry about what happened... To think that someone would do that to such a young girl... It's horrid." She says.

I nod in agreement. Yes, 'horrid' is a word to describe it. I could come up with a million other words, too. Like, "atrocious", "disgusting", and "stupid".

"More importantly," she says, looking at me with eyes full of concern. "I'm worried about you."

I look down and pay more attention to my feet than where I'm going. I know everyone's concerned about me, but how is that more important? Doesn't anyone care? Am I the only one who cares about Kuroko's death?

"Why are you wasting your time worrying about me," I say, looking at her with anger. "When you should be grieving over Kuroko's passing? I don't get it!" I stop walking, balling my hands tightly into fists until they start to turn pale and purple. "I'm not the issue here! The issue is that Kuroko is gone, and she's never coming back! I don't need sympathy, I need Kuroko." With that, I walk away as fast as I can.

Kongou doesn't follow.

I return to my dorm and angrily throw the bag onto my bed, sitting down next to it. I sigh and run my hand through my hair, combing out the painful knots. Why am I so mad? I ask myself in my head. Kongou-san didn't do anything wrong. I sigh and turn my gaze to the window, where the sun is slowly finishing its set, and the sky is turning into nighttime. I take a quick glance around the room, wondering if I should just take a shower and go to sleep, when I notice something lying on Kuroko's bed.

It's a little red rose, one identical to the one I had in the dream the day before Kuroko's death. It shocks me to a state of paralysis. I sit and stare at the flower. What does this mean?

Finally able to move, I get up and sit down on Kuroko's bed, picking up the plant by its stem, and holding it in front of my face. I feel as if I am holding its gaze, as if it's staring back at me. I take my index finger and slowly slide it over the silky pedals. In response, I feel liquid on the finger. I pull it back and look at the rose. Where I had ran my finger lies a white streak. I look at my finger. A red liquid sits on its tip.

Blood.

If I wasn't confused before, I am now. I get up and run to the bathroom, holding the rose in the sink under the faucet, running a light stream of water.

The water rinses the blood off of the flower and leaves nothing but white in its wake. A white rose. It's beautiful, yet somehow... Unnerving. First of all, why is the rose in my dorm room? Who put it there? Second of all, why is it covered in blood? Third of all, why is it the same rose I saw in my dream?

I lift the rose to my nose and inhale softly. Somehow, it gives me a scent that reminds me of Kuroko. A perfumed, passion-filled scent. I stare at it blankly, unsure of what all this means. But... Why does a single flower remind me so much of my deceased roommate? I can't figure that out. It just... does.

Slowly, feeling like I've lost all control over my body, I bring the rose downward to my lips. And, slowly and softly, kiss one of the pedals. Only for a millisecond, then I pull away from it, keeping my eyes closed and focusing on my heartbeat, which is unusually fast and hard. I have a bad feeling. I'm not sure what about, but I feel scared.

I hear a sudden crashing noise, one similar to the one I had heard the other night. I jerk my eyes open and, for the second I look in the mirror, see a dark figure there. That's all it takes for me to whip around and send a couple sparks to whatever it may be, but find myself electrocuting the wall.

I look in the mirror again. Nothing, except for my face, pale with red, puffy eyes. And of course, this rose in my hand. I use my other hand to grip the edge of the sink tightly so that I don't fall. I feel dizzy and tired all of a sudden.

What is the meaning of this? I think, feeling myself fall slowly. But there's nothing I can do about it. Who is doing this to me?

I find myself lying on the floor on my side, my vision blurry. Through my blurry haze, I see the white rose slowly becoming painted in blood again. I clutch it tightly, hoping to make it stop, but I can't. When the white is completely cascaded in red, my vision crumbles, and everything goes dark.

I awake and, surprisingly, don't immediately open my eyes. I keep them closed, trying to feel my surroundings. I do know that I am no longer on the bathroom floor. I open my eyes and wait for my blurry vision to clear. Once it does, all I see is red around me. A red sky, a red ground.

I slowly sit up, since sitting up fast would probably only make my fatigue worse. I look around. In my lap lies the rose, which is red once again. All is quiet. Not a sound is uttered, not even any wind. Not the slightest breeze.

Once I clear the lump in my throat, I shout, "Hello?"

No response. Might as well try again.

"Hello?" I yell, louder. "Anyone?"

There is silence, and I move my legs to where I sit comfortably. For a couple minutes, it's nothing but the utter silence. Then, I hear footsteps. They aren't loud, but with the lack of any other sound, they are easy to hear. And they slowly grow closer.

From out of nowhere walks a very familiar face, one I thought I would never see again.

"Ku-Kuroko?" I stammer, staring at her wide-eyed.

The level 4 teleporter echoes my expression. "Onee-Sama? What are you doing here?"

"You tell me what you're doing!" I shout. "You're supposed to be dead!"

She just stares at me, an unreadable expression. She looks as if she's apathetic, which is definitely not in her nature. Her face is so... blank. So unreadable.

She sighs, bringing her palm up to her forehead and muttering something to herself in a frustrated tone. Her body is pale, and I can see a lot of her veins easily. Does this mean...

"Kuroko, am I dead?" I ask her bluntly.

She raises an eyebrow, then shrugs. "Are you?" That's also not like her. Why is she acting so hostile and sarcastic?

I should be angry. She is acting like a jerk. Like she couldn't give two shits if the entire world blew up at the moment. She has that "Oh, whatever" look on her face, and I don't like it one bit. I thought she gave her life to save me? Maybe she is mad at me because I never showed any sort of... feelings towards her?

But instead, I am not angry. I am not sad. I am happy, happier than I've ever been. Kuroko is back, she is here, in front of me. I feel tears of joy well up at the corner of my eyes.

"Kuroko!" I exclaim happily.

In a flash, her look of apathy vanishes, and she looks like the Kuroko I know. She smiles, her face slightly flushed, and holds out a hand to me. "Come here, Onee-Sama." She says softly.

I nod and reach out my hand to grab hers, but just as I almost do, she withdraws her hand and stares down at me, this time with an angry look on her face.

I look at her, confused. Her eyes do not meet mine, but they meet the rose sitting in my lap.

"Where did you get that?" She asks, barely above a whisper.

"I-It was laying on your bed..." I say. Why is she so upset?

Suddenly, she kneels down in front of me and pulls me into her arms in a soft embrace. I return it and bury my face in her hair, which smells oddly like the rose when I sniffed it earlier.

She whispers something inaudible in my ear, and before I can ask her to repeat it, a bright light consumes me, then everything goes dark yet again.

When I awake yet again, I am back on the bathroom floor, in the same position I had been in when I fell. The rose is clutched tightly between my fingers, but it is white again, not covered in blood.

I turn over so that I am laying on my back, staring at the ceiling. She was there. Kuroko was there. She was in my arms. She was alive.

It was just another dream.

Angered beyond any anger I've ever felt, I stand up and stand in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. I drop the rose, where it flutters to the floor slowly, and stare angrily into my own eyes.

"It's your fault," I say to the mirror. "It's your fault... That she's dead." I clench my teeth to the point of pain, and hurl a fist at the glass in front of me, and it shatters, showering the sink, the floor, and me in sharp edges.

I look at my offending hand, which is bloody with shards of glass stuck throughout various spots of it. I ignore the agonizing pain, and lift my foot up to smash the rose that lies on the floor, but stop.

For some reason, I can't bring myself to do such a thing. It reminds me too much of Kuroko. I can't. I won't. I set the foot back down away from the rose and fall to my knees, my legs getting pierced with little pinpricks of pain from the shards of glass on the floor. I bring my hurt hand to my forehead and let the blood from the hand run down onto my face and onto the floor.

That's what you get... I think to myself. That's what you deserve. A deep, sinister chuckle escapes my throat and passes through my lips. Yes, I deserve this. I deserve it for letting Kuroko die.

I close my eyes as tears sting them badly. No longer am I laughing at my own pain, but crying about it. It hurts. Not just physically, but emotionally. Kuroko was there. I saw her. I touched her. She is not dead. Kuroko is not dead.

I look at the rose and frown at it as my tears fall to the floor. "Kuroko is not dead," I say to it sternly. I am not sure who exactly I'm talking to, whether it's just a rose or something more, but I talk anyway. "Kuroko would never leave me like that."

I do not go to class the next day. I decide to take time to let my hand heal up. It's wrapped tightly in bandages, and you can see the dark red stains of blood on them. Plus, I do not feel like going to class. Being around people right now is the last thing I want. So instead of sitting through school, I lay in bed all day, trying to sleep. But I can't sleep.

If I do, I will have another dream where Kuroko is alive. And, once again, wake up to find that it is not true. I stare at the white rose, which I lied on Kuroko's bed. A white rose is lifeless. I think.

But for some reason, it looks so alive, like it's immortal, or something. I feel sad thinking of the rose drying up and withering away.

Later on, Ruiko comes and pays me a visit.

"What happened to your hand?" She asks, kneeling down beside my bed.

I hesitate to tell her. I don't want to tell her. It will only make her worry about me more. And I don't need her to worry about me any more.

"I umm... accidentally cut it." I say, sweating nervously. I'm a horrible liar.

"How?" She asks. Shit. She had to have more detail.

"I... don't remember." I lie.

"Wow. Are you sure you didn't hit your head, too?" She asks, moving my bangs and looking for any sign of concussion. The bad part is she's serious.

"Yes." I say, moving her hand away. She smirks and turns to Kuroko's bed. "What's that?" She says, referring to the rose.

"What is this, 20 Questions?" I retort. "It's a rose."

She gives me a blank expression. "Really?" She says sarcastically. "Wow. That's news to me."

I narrow my eyes at her. She just grins. "So, where'd you get it?"

"Nowhere. It was just laying there when I came in here yesterday." I say.

Her eyes start twinkling all of a sudden. "Ooh! A mystery! This looks like a job for Double 0 5-"

I cut her off by pinching her arm.

"Ouch!" She says, rubbing her arm. "So rough..."

I smile, yet on the inside, I am not smiling. If only Kuroko were here. I close my eyes and remember when I hugged her in the dream. It was real.. I know it was. If it wasn't, I at least know that it is a sign that she is alive.

It is then that I realize what Kuroko had whispered to me before the dream ended.

"Stop dreaming, Onee-Sama."

"Stop dreaming?!" I yell out loud, surprising Ruiko, who jumps back.

"I-I'm not dreaming..." She says.

"No, Ruiko." I say, shaking my head. "That's what Kuroko told me. She told me to stop dreaming."

Ruiko stares at me. "Wh-when?"

"In my dream!" I exclaim, jumping out of bed and walking over to Kuroko's. I grab the rose and press it close to my lips, whispering,

"I am not dreaming, Kuroko."

I look at the flower, as if I'm expecting a response. Nothing. I go back over to my bed and lay down again. "Ruiko, I'm going to sleep." I announce, pulling the covers over my head.

"Okay, okay," She says. "Sleep tight." With that, her footsteps leave the room, and I am left alone.

I will not stop dreaming. Because every time I dream, I will see Kuroko. So I will not stop. I will keep dreaming. With that, I close my eyes. But just as I do, I feel something that feels like a hand brushing through my hair. I lift my hand and echo the gesture, but find nothing. I mentally shrug and ignore it, until I feel it again.

Annoyed, I turn onto my side. For the couple of seconds I have my eyes open, I see Kuroko standing at my bed, smiling, reaching out a hand as if she is going to touch me. I blink, and when my eyes open up again, she's gone.

Frustrated beyond all reason, I ball my hair into my fists and clench my teeth tightly together, letting out a long, scream-like groan. "What the hell, Mikoto?" I say to myself. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Just then, I feel a hand close around one of my fists. I look up. Kuroko.

"I thought I told you to stop dreaming." She says, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?!" I ask rather loudly.

She winces a little and takes both my hands in hers, squeezing lightly.

"Stop dreaming of me being dead." She says.

Well, that gets me. Stop dreaming that she's dead? Could this mean... Kuroko was never dead? Or is this the dream? Lately, I'm not sure what's real and what's fake anymore. Is this Kuroko? Her ghost? A figment of my imagination?

I hope that this is Kuroko, that she is still alive. Her touch on my hands is warm, not cold. So it's either a dream, or she is not really dead. I hope it is the latter rather than the former.

I withdraw my hands from hers and scoot back slightly.

"...What?"

A/N:

KUROKO YOU TROLL!

...So, that's that, I guess. Hahaha, what a teasing chapter. And confusing. I even confused myself. That's not good. I'm going to have to go back and read it to make sure it actually makes sense.

In the meantime, hit me up with reviews and such, and I'll get back to you with the next chapter as soon as possible!

P.S. Regarding Sinful City, who knows? I finally started working on... Whatever chapter I left off on. It'll get here...