It was an hour before Castiel stirred. He felt something push against his side, and sleep was drawn off him like warm covers on a winter morning. The bright hospital lights were blinding. Blinking sleepily, he took in a deep breath and stretched a little, carefully, well aware of his close proximity to Dean, before his head whirred to life and began to take in his surroundings. Only then was he aware of words being spoken over his head. He frowned. Dean had been asleep for days. Why did he hear someone speaking…? He got a hot flush realizing someone may have come across him in bed with a patient and lifted his head in alarm, glancing around for onlookers.
"Nice of you to join us," came a sleepy voice, and Castiel felt his heart take off.
"Dean?" He drew back and looked up from the shoulder he had been sleeping on, eyes round as dinner plates, and a tired chuckle met his ears. It was Dean! Pale, looking exhausted but awake and alive, he was squinting down at him with an easy smirk. He looked as if he'd been up for at least a few minutes. It only occurred to him then that Dean had said 'us.' He glanced up to see Sam sitting in the chair beside the bed, blood rushing to his entire face. "Sam… I-I-" He stammered in mortification, his face and the tips of his ears burning hot.
Humming genially, Sam's dark eyes softened further on Castiel as he let his lips curl into a slightly awkward but still friendly smile. He chuckled. "It's ok, Cas. You're fine."
An arm beside Cas stirred, and he shifted instinctively to let Dean's arm loose from where he pinned it between their bodies. He looked up in stiff shock as Dean draped the arm around him and drew him closer. "Come here," Dean smiled. "I've been out a couple days, according to Sam, and I need some of you."
Heart melting, Cas felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. Sam forgotten, he pressed his hot face into the crook of Dean's shoulder and pressed his hands against his chest and shut his eyes. "Dean." He muffled softly. Dean's hand rubbed up and down his back, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
"Now that is a nice feeling. Wanna join, Sammy?" Dean teased his brother.
A light laugh met him in reply. "No, I'm good, thanks. I'm really glad to see you up, Dean. How do you feel?"
"Friggin starving. I could really use a cheeseburger. Wow, I'm tired." He put his head back and groaned. "I just slept for days, why am I so tired?"
"Well, at this point, we're just glad you're awake. You took quite a blow to the head."
"Did I?" Dean mumbled.
"Yeah. You were in a car accident. In the Impala."
"Oh, yeah. Damn," Dean whispered. "That was bad… Cas!" He lifted his head, and so did Castiel, and he looked the dark haired male over worriedly. "Are you all right? Jesus, I forgot we even crashed."
"I'm all right, Dean," Cas replied softly. "You put out your arm and saved me some damage."
He felt the emotion coursing through Dean that gave him the strength to pull Castiel closer with one arm, and press his lips to his forehead, hard. "Thank God," Dean breathed, and Cas drew back when he was released, smiling.
"The car is fine, too. Just body damage, no structure," Sam offered. "Your baby is back in one piece."
"That's damn good too," Dean sighed happily and put his head back, shutting his eyes. "Damn, I'm tired." His voice was losing strength, quivering near the end of each sentence, and he swallowed often, trying to keep it level.
Sam smiled and got up, hands on his knees. "Well, I'll tell the nurses you're up on my way out. Get plenty of rest. We'll have you up on your feet again in no time." He reached out and Dean smiled at him as Sam put a hand on his shoulder. "Good to have you back, bro."
"Good to be back," Dean smiled. Sam nodded to Cas and left, an ease to his step, and Castiel propped himself up on one arm.
Cas looked at Dean affectionately. "I'll go, too. It's late. You should get some rest." He went to get up and a hand clutched his shoulder. Looking back in surprise he saw Dean shaking his head slowly.
"Not yet," he pleaded, and Cas was struck by his weakness of tone. He was still broken. Even awake, he was still hurt. Maybe this had been a good idea; had another body woken Dean up? Either way, if Dean wanted him to stay longer, he would stay and wait. Pressing himself back against Dean he reached up and kissed his jawline once, sweetly. That rewarded him with a pleasured sigh from the tired man. Then Cas put his head on Dean's chest and the secure arm around him loosened its tight grip. Cas pressed his chest with his hot palms, flush with his soft curves, and drifted in and out of sleep. Who knew how long he lay there; but he didn't wake up fully until he realized Dean was asleep again. His chest slowly rose and fell, gentle murmurs slipping from his lips as he dreamed. The arm was slack against the bed. Castiel slid away as carefully as possible, and when his sneakers touched the floor he sighed in silent relief. He hadn't woken him. Even though he was screaming internally with the loss of the smell and feel and warmth of Dean, he knew he shouldn't stay. He pulled the blankets up around Dean and stepped back cautiously.
It was almost nine. They'd kick him out soon. He had to leave. Sure, he wanted to stay until he was awake again, but… He'd be back early tomorrow, just in case. Licking his lips, Cas tore his gaze from Dean and grabbed his things. He took Dean's tattered clothes and shoved them into his backpack. He'd bring him new ones tomorrow. Then he left, shutting the door silently, and walked off down the hall, rubbing his arm. A bubbling grin mixed with a throb of joy brought more tears to his eyes. He sniffed and rubbed them away as he made his way to the lobby. The walk back to the college would be a long one. He signed out on the visitors list, hands shaking, and smiled shyly at the nurses who bid him good-bye. When he put his shoulder to the door and let himself out into the cold night the darkness was a greeting this time instead of a smothering presence. He smiled at the stars overhead and crossed his arms tightly across his chest to keep warm.
"Hey," came a voice, and Cas jumped out of his skin. He looked over to see Sam standing by the Impala, as if waiting. Sam gave a sheepish grin. "I figured you'd like a ride home."
Cas squinted at him. "You… Are you sure?" He asked nervously.
Sam laughed. "I may be big but I'm harmless, I swear," he chuckled. "Come on. It's cold." He climbed into the car, and Castiel glanced around before approaching the passenger's side and sliding inside. He settled against the cold leather with a shiver. Sam already had the engine cranked and the heat going. The cold air swirled against the car windows. As they buckled in and pulled off, Sam glanced over at Castiel. "So, uh… We've met, but I've only heard what Dean says of you. And he says a bunch, but I figured I'd want to talk to you myself someday."
Castiel nodded nervously, soaking up the heat in the car as he watched Sam. "Dean talks about me?" He asked hesitantly.
"Oh yeah," Sam joked. "All he talks about is what you guys do. How chill you are, how you like to draw, how you two should join a fraternity like me." The lamplights slid over his chiseled face and his soft smile. "I had a feeling he was enamored with you."
Cas looked at his shoes, smiling to himself. "Yes. He did mention that."
"Yeah. Cas, I… I just wanted to say, that I'm ok with it."
Blue eyes flickered with surprise on Sam's face. "You…?" Cas trailed off, eyebrows raised.
Sam nodded largely, glancing over at him with such a soft, genuine look. "Yes. I'm totally ok with it." Cas blinked, taken aback, and Sam sighed. "Dean is completely nuts over you, Cas. I've never seen him that crazy over anybody. He talks about you, and your art, and when he says your name he gets all…" He made an awkward hand motion, the other on the steering wheel. "Gushy and gross – it's totally weird. For him, I mean. Back in the room? He was glad to see me. But the moment you looked at him… He's happy. Really happy." Sam said sincerely. "Finally living his life like a normal person, too, because of you. So not only am I ok with it, I want to say that I'm… impressed. I thought he'd fly off in a stolen car after dad went missing. You are literally the only thing that got him to like his life here." Sam looked him in the eye. "Thanks. Really, Cas. You've done something for him I could never do. You've given him a home."
Cas stared at Sam and his eyes filled with emotion again. Sam smiled at him kindly when he saw, and Cas looked away. He was angry with himself for crying again. Rubbing his nose on his jacket sleeve, he shook his head, sighing shakily. "I'm sorry for being such a baby about everything. I've never been like this before, I don't know what's wrong with me." A silent thought passed between them; he was in love, that's what was 'wrong' with him. "Thank you, Sam. Honestly. I… I don't know how to put it. Just, that makes me feel like I can rest easier." He confessed. "I was worried you'd think I was some gay stranger. And I am, sort of; I'm not completely normal, granted, but I just really… love your brother. Helping him has been the best experience of my life." He looked over at Sam, smiling, and Sam returned it. "I'm truly humbled."
Sam dropped him off, rolling down the window. "You seem like a great guy, Cas. I'm glad it's you Dean's got to help him out."
"Thank you, Sam. I'll do everything for him that I can." Cas clutched his backpack strap and smiled as Sam said good-night and rolled the window back up, and drove off into the night. The gathering clouds overhead made Cas uneasy, though, so he drew back into the dorm room and shut the doors and windows, memories of the night of the crash flashing back to him. He felt better when he curled up under blankets in the dark and drifted off, mind eased now that Dean was finally getting better.
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