A/N: Hello! I love you ALL, thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. Please keep letting me know what you think!

There's a pleasure we must all feel,
And it's a pleasure I know
Of losing your heart,
And then letting love grow.

What can I say that is simpler
Than "now is all there is"?
And that you're free to be any person
And you're all that you give.

'Cause my bones were made in the womb
And they're the grains I'll leave in my tomb
And every piece will be consumed
By the love my heart endured…

So if you trust what's in your heart,
What better can you do
Than if you do what you do?
Yeah, you'll do fine.

-Noah and the Whale

Chapter 33: If This Isn't Love

My head was pounding when I woke up the next morning.

I smacked my lips together, trying to get some moisture to my ridiculously dry mouth as I blinked my eyes open. As soon as they were open, I slammed them shut again. The sun was blaring in through the window next to my four-poster. In my drunk rage and through my angry tears as I'd thrown myself onto my bed late last night, I hadn't thought to close the curtains and now I was paying the price.

Faintly, I heard the water running in the bathroom and assumed that one of my dormmates was in the shower. I sighed and slowly opened my eyes again, squinting against the light and turning over in my bed to get away from it. That was when everything from last night hit me like a ton of bricks.

After Scorpius had told me he loved me in the worst way he possibly could, I'd fled back to Gryffindor. He hadn't followed even though I thought he would at first. I hoped he would. I hoped that he would follow me and tell me how sorry he was for ruining my night, ruining what we had, and ruining the memory I would have for the rest of my life. I felt nauseated. How could he? How could he get drunk at the Halloween dance and yell at me about fucking Hadley and then tell me that he loves me? Surely he knew how fucked up that was.

But I loved him. I had been madly in love with him for weeks, and now I knew that he loved me. Scorpius Malfoy loved me. He was insanely jealous—albeit for no reason—and he'd gotten drunk and he loved me. We'd had our first kiss only a little over two months ago. He'd hardly been my boyfriend for anytime at all. But I loved him. I wanted him constantly, and all I'd wanted for the past several weeks was for him to tell me that he loved me. And he had.

My love for him had consumed me. When he looked at me, when he touched me, when he kissed me, all I could think was how much I loved him. When I sat in class, when I studied in the library, when I laid in my bed late at night, all I could think was how much I loved him. And I wanted to tell him, but I wanted to tell him in the right way, at the right time. I wanted to tell him, and I wanted him to tell me, but I had been so afraid of what would happen after. I was afraid that if I told him and he didn't feel the same I would ruin everything and he would run for the hills. I was afraid that he didn't love me. But he did.

My stomach churned painfully, and immediately I ran to the bathroom, not caring that one of my dormmates was in there. I burst through the door and ran to the toilet and fell to the floor so I could expel all the contents from my stomach.

"Rose?"

"Hey," I said after the shower turned off. I looked up at Meg, who was standing in the shower wrapped in a towel. "Sorry."

She smiled. "It's okay. I think we all had a rough night." She raised her eyebrows slightly as she glanced at me on the floor in front of the toilet still in my cheerleader costume.

I returned a weak smile. "I saw you with Hugo. You two looked like you were having fun."

Her cheeks pinked a bit. "Yeah." Then she studied me. "You and Hadley?"

I shook my head and reached up to flush the toilet before standing shakily and walking over the sink. "Just friends. Trust me."

"Good," she said, coming to stand next to me and looking at me through the mirror. "I was afraid I would have to have an intervention."

"Don't worry," I said with a faint smile. I grabbed my toothbrush and brushed the taste of my vomit from my mouth. My stomach was still churning painfully, and I felt like it had more to do with everything that had happened with Malfoy than it had to do with drinking the night before.

When I was finished—without another word to Meg—I walked back into the dormitory and walked to my four-poster. Briefly, I was aware that Lucy and Ainsley weren't in their beds. Harry was still sleeping soundly. I went to my four-poster and climbed back in, pulling the curtains around me while casting some privacy charms. I had class in about a half hour, but I didn't want to deal with it. I couldn't go. I just wanted to lay in my bed and sleep. I didn't want to think about class or Scorpius or the fact that we would have to talk about all this later. I didn't want to think about Hadley being in love with me. I just wanted to sleep.

So I did.

"Hey."

Albus jumped in his seat and swiveled to look at me.

"Geez."

I smiled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

He just shook his head. "Nah, I think I'm just jumpy. I didn't see you this morning—I didn't see you after you went to talk to Malfoy last night either." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Did you get lucky?"

I sighed. "I wish."

Albus frowned. "What happened?"

We only had about ten minutes before Flitwick came in, so I told him everything that happened the night before in the quickest, quietest, and most condensed way possible. By the time I was finished, Albus was frowning so hard that I joked that his face might get stuck that way. His face softened and he laughed.

"Sorry," he said as his frown slowly began to form again. "I'm just confused."

"Yeah," I said, turning and pulling stuff out of my bag. "You and me both."

"Was he drunk?"

"Without a doubt."

"Was he seriously jealous over Hadley?"

I shook my head as I spread my things out on desk in front of me. "I don't know, but the more I thought about it, I realized that that really couldn't have been it. I—"

"He said he loved you."

I glanced up at Albus and he looked incredulous. "I know. That's why I think it wasn't just about Hadley. I mean, he got drunk and picked a fight and then told me he loved me. And you should have seen his face when he said it—"

"He was freaked?"

"Completely."

"Did you skip your first class?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I just—I needed to sleep and think, and I thought about last night, and that's the conclusion I came to. He's freaked because he loves me, and…" I trailed off as an overwhelming feeling of warmth came over me and settled right in the middle of my chest. I smiled, and I realized it was the first time I had really let it sink in—the first time I had really embraced the words since last night. I mean, I had thought about them over and over. I hadn't stopped thinking about them. But in this moment while I was talking to Albus, I realized… Scorpius loved me. After everything that had happened and after all the apparent odds stacked against us, Scorpius Malfoy was in love with me. And he was freaking out, and I understood that, but he loved me.

"It's hitting you, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I said, unable to stop grinning.

"The man is smitten with you," Albus said with a smirk. "He hardly knows you and you've been seeing each other for only a few months, and he's in love with you. And you're a menace—you're mean and unbearable and sarcastic and you say words that no one would or should ever use in polite company." I let out a short burst of laughter as he spoke. "No wonder the man is freaking out—he's in love with a monster."

I made a noise of protest and punched Albus in the arm. "Fuck off—"

"Case and point," he said with raised eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at him. "But seriously, Rose, being in love freaks people out."

I smiled and nudged him with my shoulder. "You would know," I said, remembering what Albus told me the night before. I watched as Albus tried to control the smile that was trying to break across his face, but it was a losing battle.

Albus looked across the room to where Fergie was sitting with the other Gryffindor seventh year men. "Just look at him," Al said dreamily. "How can I not be in love with him?"

As if sensing us, Fergie looked over his shoulder and grinned at Albus. My cousin had a point. I couldn't help but admire Fergie's figure from afar—he was a fine specimen.

Albus snapped himself out of his reverie. "But I was freaked, too, Rose. But now… Knowing that I'm in love with the perfect man and that he loves me back, that makes it a hell of a lot easier."

"Tell that to Scorpius, not me."

"I can tell you're freaked, too," he said.

I frowned and looked at him.

"Don't give me that look," Al said. "You wouldn't be so pissed at him if you weren't equally freaked about the whole thing. You're in love with him, right?"

I opened my mouth and closed it a few times. "Yes," I said finally. It was the first time I had admitted it out loud and it felt like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. "Yes, I love him."

"You didn't say it back last night, though, did you?"

I gaped. "That has nothing to do with it! I'm not going to tell him I love him while I'm drunk at a Halloween dance!"

"Fair enough," Albus allowed. "But I think the reason you got so exceptionally upset is because you're just as scared as he is. You—"

"Of course I'm scared," I snapped. "Need I remind you of the last time I was in love?"

Albus rolled his eyes. "Stop," he said. "Malfoy is nothing like Hadley and you know it. This situation is completely different."

"Yeah it's different because I already fucked Malfoy," I said bitterly.

"Rose, stop, I'm serious," Albus said sternly. "Now, if you ask me, Malfoy has been in love with you since the night of the concert, he's just been too afraid to admit it. He wanted to let you wait to sleep with him, but you insisted, and a man can only resist so much. He cares about you and loves you. He held you in his arms the night of that concert when he felt bad for not letting you go. He carried you off into his quarters after Hadley tried to force himself on you. He came to see you in secret at the hospital when your father was there even though he was still pissed about that letter." Albus was ticking off his fingers with each thing he named. "He practically made out with me in class after I beat up Hadley." I laughed a bit. "He asked you to be his girlfriend, and he took you on an adorable secret date to Hogsmeade even though he's risking his job if anyone found out about either. He's so distraught and jealous of a guy you clearly don't have feelings for because he's so desperate to hold onto you. Rose, he loves you, and if you're scared of what that means, that's okay. But if you're scared because you think he's going to hurt you like Hadley did, you are stupid and blind."

"Al—"

His words were hitting me like a ton of bricks, but I couldn't do anything about it. Flitwick had just walked in, and the class was falling silent. With one final stern look at me, Albus turned in his chair and faced the front of the classroom.

Why was it that Albus could see and I couldn't? He was completely right. I was afraid. I was terrified. I liked who I was now that I was with Scorpius, and I didn't want to go back to being the girl I was pre, during, or immediately post Hadley. I was terrified that if I let my guard down, and Scorpius and I fell in love with each other, that everything would change. Because we couldn't possibly be happy. Soon he would wake up from whatever odd spell he was under, and he would see that he could do better—that I wasn't worth everything that he was risking—and then it would all be over, and I would have to turn into a person that I didn't want to be.

I tried not to think about it for the rest of class. Hadley glanced back at me a few times during class and smiled, and it took all my power to smile back at him. I knew this wasn't his fault, but how was it that even after everything between the two of us was over, he was still controlling my life?

I hardly took any notes in class. I was far too distracted by my own stupid brain. The distraction only worsened when I felt my bag vibrate at my feet. My heart leapt, and I reached down to pull out the parchment that Scorpius had charmed so we could send messages to each other.

I unrolled it under the table and glanced down at it.

Didn't see you at breakfast. You okay? I'm sorry about last night.

I glanced over at Albus, but he was writing and listening intently to Flitwick. I grabbed my quill and scribbled a quick response.

I'm fine. Everything's fine.

He wrote back quickly and I could tell that he was upset—his handwriting was messy like his hand was shaking and he was writing in a hurry.

Can I see you on your break? We need to talk.

I couldn't. I wasn't ready yet. I just needed to think. And I couldn't think if I was looking at him and his body and face and fucking presence had me wound so tightly and craving every inch of him.

Can't. Busy. Sorry.

I rolled up the parchment and moved to put it away, but I felt it vibrate again. I unrolled it discreetly.

I know you're mad. I'm sorry, Rose.

I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then I opened them, rolled up the parchment and shoved it into my bag. I would just have to think about this later.

After class, Fergie came over and started being cute and flirting with Albus, and it made me absurdly happy. I asked if they were going to lunch, but they just giggled and said they had something to do down in Slytherin. I rolled my eyes before they hurried away like two giddy schoolgirls.

I felt my bag vibrate as soon as they left the classroom, and I pulled out the parchment.

Talk to me, baby. A moment later, the text disappeared and a new text formed there. I want to talk about what happened. I'm so sorry. And then—Please don't hate me. Bitterly, I couldn't help but think that he deserved this. Now he would get a taste of what I felt after he refused to talk to me after I told him about the letter. Now he would understand the pain of sitting outside your boyfriend's office and weeping on the floor while he shut his light off and just walked away.

"Rose?"

I jolted and looked up and saw Hadley standing in front of me—his light brown hair tousled—and I shoved the parchment in my bag before looking up at him with a tight smile.

"Hey," I said, before putting the rest of the stuff into my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. I felt the vibration again but this time I ignored it.

"I didn't see you later at the dance," he said as I moved to walk out of the classroom. He fell into step next to me.

"Yeah, got tired," I said, walking quickly. I needed to get somewhere private before I started doing something stupid. Like crying.

"Are you okay? You seem upset."

"Yeah, yeah, fine, just in a hurry."

"Are you going to the Great Hall? I'll go with you."

The hopefulness in his voice made me want to smack him. Maybe Scorpius was right. Maybe Hadley was in love with me. But I was still right—I didn't care who Hadley was in love with.

"No, sorry, I have to go to the library, I'm really behind."

"Rose—" He grabbed my elbow and turned me around. I crossed my arms and stared at him. He frowned. "Did I do something—?"

"Jesus Christ, Hadley, not everything is about you," I snapped before I could stop myself. He looked hurt, and that only made me angrier. "I'm just in a hurry. Sorry." Although I didn't feel or sound sorry at all.

"Did you not have fun last night?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I had fun with you, but I didn't get enough work done so now I need to focus on that. Look, I have to go." And with that, I turned and walked away from him. Lucky for both of us, he didn't come after me.

By the time I had gotten settled in the library, I had three more messages from Scorpius apologizing and asking me to talk to him. I ignored his messages, but what annoyed me most was that no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I was trying not to think about last night, and I was succeeding at that. But it was like my brain wouldn't allow me to just have no thoughts about him, so instead, my brain was bombarded with images. I couldn't stop thinking about our afternoon in the Shrieking Shack—how after we'd eaten in a highly sexually charged, near-silence, he had slowly undressed me until I was completely naked and he remained fully clothed. And how he had pressed me back onto the blanket until I was flat on my back and my knees were bent up, and his head had dipped between my legs.

As I sat in the library, my body heated up as I remembered how hot he had made me—the heat of that beam of sun warming me along with what he was doing to me. We had made love so sweetly that entire afternoon, and I remembered how quiet we were—the only sound our heavy breathing. I think he went slow so that I would be quiet and no one who happened to be around would hear us, but it was like the silence made everything more intense.

I crossed my legs—trying to relieve the pressure between them—and I tried to free my mind of the memory of us that afternoon. So, of course, my traitorous brain replaced it with the image of us yesterday morning before potions, and him fucking me hard, bent over his desk—both of us nearly fully clothed and only exposed enough so that he could be inside me—and then a few minutes later, him teaching the class and me taking notes as if nothing had happened.

I sighed and pressed my thighs together. I couldn't hold out much longer. I needed to see him, but I also wanted to punish him. I wanted to punish him because I wanted him to know what it felt like to be ignored, and I wanted him to know that it wasn't okay for him to be stupid about stupid things. And I wanted him to know that it wasn't fair that he had said he loved me like that.

As if on cue, I felt my bag vibrate, and I pulled out the charmed parchment.

Where are you?

SITTING IN THE LIBRARY THINKING ABOUT HAVING YOUR COCK INSIDE ME, I screamed in my head. I took a deep breath. Relax.

Library.

Can I come see you?

I don't think that's a good idea.

I wasn't in my normal, secluded spot. There were a lot of other people around, and it would be weird if Scorpius came here just to talk to me. People would definitely think that was suspicious.

Will you come see me then?

I couldn't go to his quarters. If I went to his quarters I would just fuck him, and if I fucked him I would forgive him for everything and we would never talk out the underlying issues, and then nothing would be better.

But I had to see him. I couldn't just ignore him forever—as much as I wanted to teach him a lesson. I wanted him too much. I just liked being around him. I wanted him to put his arms around me and hold me. I wanted to feel the warmth of his hand in mine while we sat in his common area on his couch and just talked. I wanted to bury my face in his chest and smell him. He always smelled heavenly.

Where are you?

My quarters.

I can't meet you there.

It took him a bit longer to respond. I thought he was probably trying to consider what kind of tone I was using. Was I angry or was I just stating simply that I couldn't meet him there. Was it that I couldn't or that I wouldn't? Well, if he was thinking it was either of those, he was thinking incorrectly. It wasn't that I couldn't or wouldn't. It was that I shouldn't.

Okay. Then where?

I had no idea where it would be so secluded that no one would see us, but also not so secluded that I would risk sleeping with him. I closed my eyes for a moment as I thought.

Will you meet me in the astronomy tower?

He replied quickly.

Of course, baby. When?

It annoyed me that my heart hurt when he called me "baby."

Now.

Okay, I'll leave now. I can't wait to see you.

I was just going to reply with something short and snarky. "See ya" or "Okay." But I was already being cruel enough. I wanted to get my point across, but I didn't want him to think I hated him.

Me, too. See you soon.

"Rose."

As soon as I whipped around to face him, I forgave him.

He loved me. I loved him. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my entire life. He had become my entire world in such a short time, and I didn't know if he understood. I didn't know if he understood what the weight of his words meant to me. I wanted him to understand.

Scorpius opened his mouth, and I held up a hand.

"I have some things I want to say first. So just… Okay?"

He nodded and turned so he could seal the door that led to the top of the tower. The stars were shining brightly above us, and under any other circumstances, it would have been romantic.

"I just want you to understand why I was upset." He looked like he wanted to say something, but he respected my initial request and stayed silent. "What you did… What you said. It wasn't fair. It's just…" I sighed. "I wanted you to say it. I imagined how you would say it for so long, and then—god, Scorpius, I know you get jealous. I know that, and mostly I'm okay with it. But Hadley? Really, Scorpius? It makes absolutely no sense for you to be jealous over him."

"That's the point of jealousy, Rose," he said, clearly unable to keep silent. I guess I shouldn't have expected him to—not when we were talking about something like this. "It's irrational."

"I understand that. But there has to be some rational part of your brain that understands that your jealousy of him is completely unfounded."

"Is it?" he said, running a hand through his sexy blonde hair. I blinked slowly, trying to cool my traitorous thoughts. "You were his girlfriend for a year. You were just his girlfriend a few weeks ago."

I rolled my eyes. "You know that meant nothing."

He shook his head. "It didn't mean nothing." I opened my mouth to protest but he held up a hand. "You may have been doing it to get back at him and you may not have felt something romantically toward him, but it didn't mean nothing. If it had meant nothing, you would have never done it."

I opened my mouth and then closed it. He had a point, and it was a point I had never considered. I had never considered it from his perspective. In my head, everything with Hadley was pretty simple: I wanted to make him fall in love with me and then break his heart like he'd done to me. From Scorpius's perspective, I was still hung up on the relationship that had ended a year ago so much so that I was trying different kinds of plans and schemes to get revenge.

"You see now," he said quietly. "You see how I feel."

"Yes," I said. "I do. And I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

He sighed. "You don't have to apologize."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. I want you to know that I understand where you're coming from, and I'm sorry that I gave you any inkling of doubt. Because you have no clue how deep my feelings for you are. You have no idea how much my feelings for Hadley never even came close to comparing to how I feel for you. Here. Now. You don't know that I would imagine you telling me you loved me—that I hoped for it for weeks—and then that was how it happened."

"Rose—"

"Scorpius—"

"I need to talk now, Rose."

I stared at him long and hard for a moment. "Okay."

He sighed and ran a hand through is hair. "I fucked up last night," he said. "I… Okay, let me explain, okay?"

I nodded, too tense to respond—too desperate to hear what he had to say.

"I realized I was in love with you a few weeks ago."

My breath caught in my chest, and my heart rate sped up.

Scorpius started to pace in front of me. "It freaked me out because—you know—we've only been seeing each other a month or so. I shouldn't be in love with you when we've only known each other for two months. I shouldn't be in love with you so soon, but I am, and there's nothing I can do about it, and I got freaked out."

It took all my power not to run up to him, throw my arms around his neck, and kiss him senseless. I took a deep, shaky breath.

"Rose, you have to understand. The last time I was—well, I thought I was in love—I had my heart broken. It was—well, it was part of the reason why I went to Germany. I was trying to escape."

"Would you… will you tell me about it?"

Scorpius sighed and continued to pace slowly, one hand on his hip and the other waving in front of him and occasionally running through the hair that I so loved running my own fingers through.

"There was a girl back at Hogwarts—back when I was a student here. We dated for two years. I thought I was in love with her. I didn't really know what love was then, though, you know, and looking back, I don't really think I loved her. But she was there, and she loved me. Until she didn't. Rose…" He stopped pacing and looked at me before he sighed and went on. "There's a lot you don't know about me—about who I used to be. I was… Cold. I was cold and serious and all I cared about was Quidditch. Marie—my ex-girlfriend—she was warm. For a Slytherin at least. She came from a good family, and she was sweet and kind and warm. When you're like that, there's only so much of a cold, arrogant prick that you can take. And when my obsession with winning the final got the best of me, she ended it. I don't blame her. I never loved her truly, and I never showed her that I did anyway, and I was… I wasn't the man that I am with you, Rose.

"With you… Well, so," he went back to the subject at hand, "I was devastated when she ended it. Not really because I loved her and wanted her back but because I had lost something that was mine, and I was selfish and self-centered. I had never had anything taken from me in my life. I was distracted during the Quidditch match when I saw her in the stands with another guy a few weeks later. That moment of distraction cost me the Cup and my spot on the Cannons. So, my dad sent me to Germany."

"You were running?"

He nodded. "I was running. And it was good for me. But the point is that I've never felt like this, and I was terrified, and I'm constantly afraid that I'm going to lose you. I mean, the odds aren't in our favor, are they?"

I smiled weakly. "Not really."

"I'm afraid of every little thing that could make me lose you. I'm your teacher. Hadley. The fact that I love you and it's too soon—that I'll scare you off. So I freaked, and I got drunk, and I lost my head, and I said I loved you. I shouldn't have said it, Rose—not like that. But… but baby, I meant it."

I didn't know what to say.

All I knew was that I had been naked with Scorpius dozens of times in the last month. I had seen him in all his beautiful glory and he had seen me. But in this moment, I felt that neither one of us had ever been more exposed.

"I—"

"You don't have to say it back yet. I know you're still upset, but Rose." He looked at me hard and took a step forward. "I know you love me, too."

I could feel my hands trembling. "Scorpius—"

"You said it. One night a few weeks ago you were falling asleep and you said it."

"Well, I—" Shit.

"But you don't have to say it if you're not ready," he said, and I knew he meant it. I could see in his eyes that he was sincere. "Do you see?" he asked, changing the topic back. "Do you see why I got so crazy?"

I nodded with a forced smile. "I do."

I loved him. Of course I loved him—I had loved him for weeks. I had loved him probably even before I had actually admitted it to myself. He was perfect in every way. How could I not love him? But he loved me, and now I knew it, and I knew why he had done what he did. We understood each other on a level we never had before, and I loved him.

But for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to say the words. Was I still mad at him for how he'd said it to me? Or was I just afraid?

"But let me explain why you shouldn't be crazy, okay?" He gave a short nod and I went on. "I get it. I honestly understand why you got upset, but I'm telling you right now that the only thing that can come between us… is us. Hadley and I… Scorpius I wish you understood how completely that relationship is over. And I know you got scared because you saw how much what he does affects me, but I think the fact that we're friends now should show you how over it I am. I can be friends with him because I don't hate him or want to get back at him or anything anymore. I don't have to do that because I have you. You matter to me more than anything."

Scorpius ran a hand down his face, and I noticed how he was slowly and steadily moving closer to me. I didn't even know if he was aware of it.

"We've been able to keep this a secret for over a month," I continued. "We've been careful and we'll continue to be. That's not coming between us. And as for that girl—Marie?" He nodded and the space between us got smaller. My heart started thumping as it did every time he was close. "She wasn't willing to work at it. She didn't want to break through your exterior, but Scorpius, I do. I'm not going anywhere."

He was finally a little bit under a foot in front of me and he reached out to put a hand on my hip. Even though there was a layer of clothing separating our skin from touching, I ignited under his touch.

"I'm sorry, Rose," he said, his eyes averted from mine. "I'm sorry for the way I acted and I'm sorry for being an idiot and I'm so sorry for making you doubt how I feel about you."

"Scorpius—"

"I know I made you doubt it. You thought 'he can't mean it. He's drunk,' but I did. I meant it with all of my being. Rose, I love you. I can't… I know it seems crazy, but I feel like you and I… I think I was meant for you. I can't imagine being without you."

I took a deep, shuttering breath before I smiled and threw my arms around his neck. "Oh, Scorpius."

He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to him. I drank in the feel of him around me as well as his smell and the way he felt—the way he held me—god, it felt so good. I buried my hands in his hair and then pulled my face back so I could press my lips to his. I couldn't believe this guy was mine. He was perfect in every imaginable way from his beautiful soul to his dorky sense of humor to the blonde hair I clutched in my hands and the gorgeous gray eyes that stared back at me. And he loved me.

I took his hand and I moved to sit against the wall of the astronomy tower. He sat down next to me, and I admired the way his body moved with such fluidity and grace—in a clear show of his athletic ability. Briefly, I glanced up at the sky above and was awed by the stars shining brightly above me. It seemed like there were millions of stars in the sky, watching me and winking at me, telling me that everything was going to be okay.

"I love it up here," I said, and I looked down to find Scorpius watching me as I watched the stars. I smiled. "What are you staring at?"

"You," he said with a crooked smile that made me smile back at him even bigger. "You're just so beautiful."

I blushed, but it was dark enough so that he didn't see.

"Does anyone know about us?" he asked. Wait, what? That was a sudden change of subject, causing me to frown.

"Only Albus," I said.

"He's your best friend?"

I nodded and scooted a bit closer so that my crossed legs were brushing up against Scorpius's bent ones. "In the world." He took one of his hands off his knee and moved it so he could clasp my hand in my lap. Then something occurred to me. "Do you have any friends?"

Scorpius shot a glance at me before he threw his head back and laughed heartily. His laughter was infectious, and I grinned along with him.

"Yes," he said, shaking his head. "I have friends."

I raised my eyebrows. "Who? Flitwick?"

He shot me a wry smile. "No," he said. "I've got friends. I'm just here and they all live in and around London. My best friend is named Jasper. We went to Hogwarts together. There's also Cassandra. We grew up together. And some others."

"Ah," I said, shooting him a look of mock disbelief. He nudged me with his shoulder and smiled.

"You can meet them sometime," he said casually.

I looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Really?" I loved it when we discussed future plans. It meant he planned on keeping me around, and that made me happier than anything ever.

"Sure. In June when you're finished I'll let you meet them."

I sighed. "I wish we didn't have to be a secret."

He looked over at me with a small, sad smile. "Me, too."

I shrugged. "It's not so bad, though. I don't mind having you all to myself." I leaned my head down on his shoulder.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Me, too."

I loved being like this with him. We were both just sitting here, peaceful, no longer worrying about the night before or the fact that we were in a secret relationship. It was just he and I. Together. And it felt perfect. I moved a bit closer.

"Will I get to meet your parents, too?"

"Of course," he said. "They would love you." I couldn't see his face but I could hear that he was smiling. My fingertips started to tingle just a bit and I rubbed the pad of my thumb across them on the hand that wasn't holding his. "What is that?" he said. I was about to ask what would possibly make him think that his parents would like me when he had asked the question. I knew enough about my parents and Scorpius's parents that they probably really wouldn't be too fond of me.

I lifted my head up and looked around, thinking that he had seen or heard something. "What's what?" I asked before putting my head back on his shoulder when I didn't see anything. It just felt too good to have my head on his shoulder that I wanted to keep it there as much as possible. I was exhausted and he smelled like heaven.

"That thing you do—when you, you know." He put his free hand in front of me where I could see it and mimed what I did when my fingertips would tingle and ran his thumb across the tips of his fingers.

I blushed fiercely. I had no idea he had noticed that I was doing that. I had hardly noticed that I did it myself. It was just an unconscious thing that I did in order to get some relief when my fingertips were tingling from the affects that Scorpius had on me.

"I noticed it weeks ago," he continued. "And I have no clue why you do it. He turned his head to look at me and I moved my head from his shoulder to look at him.

I shrugged, trying to play it off, but my stomach felt a bit queasy. "It's…" I rolled my eyes and smiled. There was no reason to be embarrassed. He drove me mad with want and desire and this was how my body sometimes responded. I had no cause to feel weird or ashamed about it. "It's you," I said with another shrug. "When I'm around you my…" I swallowed as his gray eyes bore into me in the dark. "My whole body reacts, and sometimes…" I chuckled nervously. "Sometimes my fingertips just start to tingle, you know, like my hand fell asleep and it's trying to wake up. Sometimes I'll feel tingly around my whole body but it's mostly in my fingers." I finished with another shrug. "So I do that"—I repeated the gesture—"when I'm trying to get some relief from it."

By the time I finished explaining it to him, he was grinning so broadly that I thought his stupid face might split in half. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Oh, get over yourself."

"I have that much of an affect on you, do I?"

"Get that look off your face," I said, scooting away from him playfully, trying to contain a smile.

"Ah, ah, ah," Scorpius admonished, grabbing my wrist and pulling me back to him. I smiled as I fell into him and he cupped my face to pull me into a kiss. I grabbed at his waist to pull him closer and I moved until our legs became tangled and the kiss began to heat up. I felt it in my fingertips. This kiss felt different—like he was pouring more of himself into it—like he was trying to tell me he loved me. His tongue slid against mine slowly, but with purpose and his hand slid back into my hair to pull me closer. "Come back to my quarters," he murmured against my mouth.

"I—"

"I just want to hold you, Rose," he said, clearly understanding why I was hesitating. I still felt too raw.

"Okay."

I pulled away from him and moved to stand up, brushing the dust off my clothes as he stood up and did the same. Then I moved so that I could lace my fingers with his, and I looked up at him with a small smile before we walked out of the astronomy tower together.

Next chapter:

"I love you, Rose. I know you love me, too. Just… baby, tell me you love me."