Impact, by Ivycat.

Jadzia's return to conscience was reluctant and confused. She struggled to open her eyes but it was too painful, with the slightest whimper she resigned to be in the dark. She was disoriented and confused, it seemed as if she had been lying abandoned, quietly dying, then after an interminable period of suffering there were not one, but two Julian's bending over her, but, it was not true, because there were no men on the planet.

Time seemed to go by much too slowly, she felt hands on her, all over her, and where they had been there was an easing of the pain. The pain that she had almost forgotten she had. This was a pleasant dream, on that she hoped that she could dwell in for a while.

She felt sharp pain in one of her arms that was not unusual though, she had pain and cramps in all of her limbs now. But this was different, sharper, focused. She thought about trying to move her arm to get away from the feeling but then drifted off into grayness. She could not focus on anything; her thoughts seemed intangible and wandering. She felt as if she was rotated, she was swept with vertigo, if she had anything at all in her stomach she would have vomited.

Then it began a ripping sawing pain across her back, and then the agony of having her back treated. She wanted to scream, to attack her persecutor who refused to allow her to slip quietly away into oblivion and death. She was so close, she could feel it. She longed for it, it was the only chance of relief she had now.

(But, wait, was she sure she wanted to die?)

Jadzia was confused, something felt so wrong, there was something inside her that desired her to live.

No, that was not right. It could not be. It was time…

Then stinging, her eyes were stinging horribly; there was a drip, drip, drip on her eyes that bothered her more than she could endure. What new torture were her captors using? She tried to move her head, but her body refused to work, she was a prisoner trapped inside her own body.

She felt a surge of anger, then it quickly faded, she did not want to be angry, angry was an emotion too close to living.

There was a pressure on her eye, as if something was being softly rubbed on, then again on the other eye.

(Be angry.)

She was so tired.

She felt as if she were hovering over her body, almost as if she were a spectator.

She could see herself lying out in a spread eagle position on the promenade. There were people bustling all around, raucous laughter from Quark's, but no one paused to ask why she was laying out in the middle of the corridor. Kira and O'Brian walked by arguing over something.

Benjamin was walking towards the holosuites with a bat.

Then she heard Julian's voice. He was looking for her. But as she thought of sitting up and calling to him that she was there, something strange began to happen, she seemed to shrink, at first it was almost imperceptibly, then more rapidly till she was fading to the size of a pin, then, she vanished.

So tired. She was so tired.

(No )

Suddenly, just as he was finishing up putting ointment on Jadzia's eyes, his tricorder went off shrilly, its readings flashing in red.

Her heartbeat became even weaker and more erratic as it struggled to keep up with the demands of the body. Then her body began to seize.

With only the slightest tremor the doctor inserted glucose in the hypospray and depressed it into her neck. The effect was almost immediate, her muscles relaxed and the spasmodic movements stilled.

The seizure treated his main focus was on her heart, it was beating far too irregularly, he loaded another medicine in the hypospray and administered it to her, but there was no improvement.

Then the tricorder beeped louder, and then settled to a long tone.

Julian began chest compressions counting off in his head, and then switched to one hand as he fumbled with the cardio-stimulator. He applied it and activated it; there was a twitch from the body as the current pulsed through it, then the heart stabilized in to a stronger rhythm. With a sigh he leaned back on his haunches for a moment in relief, and then began scanning again. Her isoboramine levels were critically low.

It was common knowledge in the medical community, starvation, lack of food did not kill, it was the heart failing from atrophy of the heart muscles. That was the most present danger, cardiac arrest.

Though with Trill physiology the low isoboramine could cause death as well.

He went back to the medical quarters and brought back some of the neurotransmitter enhancer he had replicated. He administered it then watched the readout anxiously, there was no noticeable improvement and his brow furrowed further.

There was a beeping from the console, he swore, he could not afford to leave her, what if she had another cardiac event? But, it would be worse if they were recaptured.

He made another course correction, at warp five he knew it could be a while before he reached the station, unless they had received word from the planet that they were missing. This task done he bent over Jadzia and picked her up, carrying her to the back and placing her on the bunk. He was able to cover her more securely and attached another bag of T.14 saline.

She was pitifully light in his arms he had noticed.

Just then the runabout began to shake and shudder, Julian turned and sprinted to the front having to grab the seat as there was a jolt and the shuttle dropped out of warp.

Despite his engineering extension course he was at loss as to what caused the warp field to destabilize. He groaned, at this rate it would be weeks till he arrived home. Then with further investigation he detected multiple sub-space inversion fields that collapsed the warp field. Doing a long range scan he was frustrated to see there were a quite a few, they extended father than the range of his scanners. This was bad news, this meant he would have to drop to a lower warp and make multiple course corrections during the flight.

Great, this was just what he needed in addition to a dying crew member, a shuttle who could not be left on auto nav.

Setting course again at maximum impulse he scanned all the instruments, other than the warp malfunction everything seemed to be in working order. That was good; it meant that nothing else had been affected by the anomaly.

He made his way back to the back, Jadzia was the same as when he had left, he sighed and pulled up a chair, all he could do was support her body as best he could as it fought to hold on to the spark of life it had.

He checked her vitals and IV, everything was stable.

Ever so carefully he reached out and took her hand, careful not to damage her skin.

He looked at it; there was noticeable edema so he began to carefully massage the hand in an attempt to reduce the swelling.

It was so hard seeing her like this, so helpless and frail.

Without even thinking about it he began talking.

"I am right here; I won't give up on you Jadzia. You are going to pull through this, I know it seems hard right now, but it will get better I promise. Hold on. You hear me? Hold on. I won't give up, no matter how much it takes.

You just have to keep breathing, so easy really, one breath after the other, see? You are already doing it!

Oh, Jadzia, I am so sorry, so sorry I was not able to protect you. You have to fight, you are strong, I know you can do it…

Jadzia, forgive me… "His voice broke for a moment.

Then he took her other hand and began to massage it.

"You really have no choice, Jadzia, if there is one thing I am known for it is persistence. So you are going to pull through this. Besides, if anything happened to you it would haunt me for the rest of my life, and you know it. I also know you would never be as cruel to me as that. Not to mention I am not sure how much my life would be worth if I returned to DS9 without you, I think Garak would be more popular, and that is a scary thought indeed."

He lost track of time as he babbled to her, trying to distract himself from his worry.

He was not even sure what he was saying anymore, it just seemed somehow important that he not stop talking.

"… are going to make it through this together, and long after I am gone you will still be going on living out your lives. Just keep holding on for me."

Then it happened, there was a flexing of her fingers, instantly he was bending over her.

"Jadzia? Can you hear me?"

There was a fluttering of her eyes, and then slowly they opened and looked up at him.

She tried to say something but no sound came from her brown discolored lips. The motion had caused them to crack and bleed again.

"Shh, shh, don't try and talk."

He went to the box of medical supplies behind him and brought back some supplies.

"Now, if you will just hold on a second this will be fixed up in no time."

He applied a tube of ointment to her lips.

"Now, we will let that set for a few minutes then I will fix that right up with the dermal regenerator."

"Alright, now, this may not be pleasant, but it will make you feel much better soon. Okay, I need you to open your mouth for me a bit."

He waited but there was no response.

"Jadzia, I need you to open your mouth, can you understand me?"

Still there was no response; her eyes were open, but not really focusing on him anymore.

With a sigh he reached his gloved hands up and gently grasped her jaw and opened it, and then with the other hand he swabbed her mouth with a viscous liquid, paying particular attention to her furred tongue.

This resulted in a slight reaction from her as she seemed to be trying to turn her head away from him.

"No, hold still now, I have to get this tended to, Jadzia."

He persisted in swabbing the anti-fungal agent all around her mouth, later he would have to give her oral medicine to treat the condition in her esophagus, and it would cause her extreme pain to swallow or talk till it was taken care of.

That done he pulled of his gloves after discarding the swab.

He leaned over her smiling and put one hand on her cold cheek.

"Well, now, I am glad you decided to join me. I was not looking forward to the trip back to Deep Space Nine alone."

"I am sure you have questions, but it is important you rest and conserve you strength. I managed to get you out of the labor camp and back onto the runabout, now we are on our way back, and everything is going to be fine. Do you understand me Jadzia? You are safe now."

With no sign that she understood her eyelids drifted shut.

His lips tightened he got up and replaced her bag yet again. He was not seeing the results he would have anticipated with all of the fluids she was getting. But then there was so little information on Trill's, and if there were any guides on how to rehydrate a dying host it was safely on Trill, though he doubted it, a host as ill as Jadzia would have her symbiont removed quickly and she would have been let die. Surrounded by care and people making sure she felt no pain, but still, condemned to death.

His hand clenched the dermal regenerator at the thought as he ran it over the parched skin of her lips. It was against everything he had been taught to treat a life as disposable, but that was exactly how a host was regarded on Trill, honored, held in very high esteem, but ultimately expendable. As foreign as it was to him he had seen Jadzia herself display the same belief, her life was inconsequential to that of Dax.

But He was Julian and he did not give a damn about Trill priorities at this time. There would never be the option of letting Jadzia die.

From the distance there was a continual humming, it was indistinct, but somehow it was comforting, reassuring to hear it.

(Hold on.)

She did not want to hold on.

She was not sure where she was. She knew she was not dead, that she was not on the planet any longer, but the rest was confusion.

"Oh Jadzia, come back to me."

The humming was beginning to take form into words. But this could not be real; this must be a dream…

"I need you Jadzia," the voice whispered.

It seemed that she was on the other side of a river waiting to cross, or was the voice coming to her?

It was hard, so hard, but she felt that she had to respond to the voice.

(Wake up.)

She fought it, but slowly inexorably she felt herself being pulled across the river that separated her from pain.

"…long after I am gone you will still be going on living out your lives. Just keep holding on for me."

She knew the voice. Julian Bashir.

He was alive then. How? Her thoughts were muddled and confused. Her eyes opened, the light was excruciating, it was too bright, she tried to turn her head away but again her body did not respond to her command.

She tried to say his name, but no sounds came from her mouth. Her throat hurt at the attempt. He was bending close over her telling her not to talk. He was smiling, but his eyes were grave.

He applied something to her lips that stung.

Then she heard him from a distance, he wanted something. She was confused; she did know what he wanted. She was so tired…

Then she felt his hand on her, guiding her mouth open. It was bitter, stinging, no burning. She mustered up every ounce of strength she had to try and fight him off. It was a fruitless endeavor.

(Don't fight.)

She was helpless to resist, when he was done he placed his hand on her face and smiled at her again, she was fading, she had used all of her strength to try and fight him off. He was speaking. For some reason it seemed important that she pay attention. These words meant something important. She tried to focus, but despite herself her eyes shut. But even as she slid into the grayness she held on to the sound of his voice.

( Maybe she should not go into the consuming darkness after all...)

(Live.)

Where were these thoughts coming from? It was not her; she was ready to stop fighting.

Suddenly in a tiny instance of clarity she recognized the person sending her those thoughts.

Dax.

Then, with the last of her strength she tightened her fingers over the warm hand that had grasped hers. It was a pitifully weak grasp, more of a twitch really, but it was significant, more than the person holding her hand knew as he ever so lightly responded to her grasp. It was significant because in that moment, Jadzia Dax decided to live.

Many thanks to GeorgieGinger who helped beta for me!