A/N: The final chapter.

Rated T for language and themes.

Don't need a miracle, a superhero.
There's only one way up when you're at zero.
You took my innocence
But it was knowing
No I don't need you,
And that made me a woman

I gave my all but it's the debt I'm done paying.
I'm standing strong, but I'm still on my knees praying
That nothing in this world will ever break my heart again.
No pain this life will put me through
Will ever ever hurt like you.

-Sarah Buxton

Chapter 45: Nothing In This World Will Ever Break My Heart Again (Present Day VI)

I hear a faint knock on the door and I practically leap from my chair and run to the door to answer it. I stop right before I open it and smooth the red dress that I decided on for the evening. It's a strapless, long, flowing dress that hugs my curves in all the right places and is just the right amount of sexy, elegant, and casual. He's never seen me in this, and I hope he likes it. I always hope he likes it.

I chose to go with only a bit of make up tonight, unlike last night when I went all out. So instead of shocking eyeliner that brings out my eyes and red lipstick, I just have a light pink dusting on my cheeks and a thin layer of lip-gloss. My hair is pulled behind me in a long thick ponytail with dark red curls hanging from it in thick layers.

I take a deep breath and try to relax my beating heart before I open the door for him. My knees nearly buckle at the sight of him because not only am I extremely anxious about tonight, but he looks absolutely fucking gorgeous.

Scorpius's blonde hair is tousled in just the right way. His gray eyes are bright, and he's wearing jeans that aren't too tight, but are tight enough to show off the muscles below his waist that I love so much. He's wearing a gray V-neck t-shirt that brings out his eyes, and he looks so sexy but casual, like he jumped straight out of a muggle magazine that models designer clothes. My mouth practically waters at the sight of him.

He opens his mouth but before he can say anything, I step forward and grip the back of his neck with one hand to pull him down into a kiss. He responds by opening his mouth against mine and sliding one of his hands around to my lower back to pull me closer. He leans forward so that I'm forced back and I bring my other arm up around his neck with a quiet groan. Scorpius then walks us backwards so that we're in my apartment and he kicks the door shut behind us, all without letting his mouth leave mine.

There's an emotion behind his kiss that I can't place. I can feel it in the way he holds me, in the slight hesitancy of his touch. I can feel everything else that I normally feel—the lust, the passion, the slight playfulness—but there's something else, and I don't know why, but it sends a slight frisson of alarm through me. I push the feeling down, however, and let his kiss take me to new heights like it always does.

After what feels like an eternity but also a millisecond, Scorpius pulls away and looks down at me with a smile.

"I brought you these," he says, holding up a bouquet of roses.

I turn my head to look at them and I smile before pulling out of his arms and taking the roses. I bury my face in them and take a deep breath.

"Thank you," I say into the flowers. I look up at him. "They're beautiful."

"They reminded me of you."

I blush and turn away quickly so he doesn't see me, and I walk to my kitchen to find a vase for the flowers.

"I saw that," he calls after me, making even more heat flood my cheeks. Why does he always have to catch me blushing? I grin like an idiot.

A little bit later, we are sitting down for dinner, and tension is crackling between us like electricity. I can't tell if it's my fault because I'm so nervous to tell him about the baby and it's transferring to him, or if it's something else—his own deep tension. I convince myself that it's just me, and that he's fine, but I'm honestly not so sure. I'm reminded of the feeling he gave me earlier when he kissed me on his arrival, but again, I push it away.

I'm picking at my food. I spent hours roasting a chicken and cooking up roasted potatoes and snapping string beans, and now I'm not even eating it. I'm sure he's noticed because I always eat. He tells me that I eat with a vengeance—that it seems like I have something personal against the food I'm eating and I'm punishing it. I always pretend like it makes me mad when he says it, but it really amuses me and we both know it.

Scorpius is eating slowly, which is what makes me think that he feels the tension, too, and that he's forcing each bite down. Why is he nervous? Did he find out? Did someone let it slip that I'm carrying his child? I just don't understand his anxiety, and it's only adding to mine.

"This is delicious, Rose," he says. I jump, not expecting the sound of his voice, and he looks at me with amusement in his eyes. "Did I scare you?"

I force a laugh. "No. It was just so silent." My voice fades as I finish the sentence.

He gives me a weak smile and then reaches down in his lap to pull up his napkin. I watch him as he folds it and then places it on the table next to his nearly empty plate.

"Rose," he's looking at his plate, and I see his brow furrow. For some reason, my stomach rolls painfully. I stare at him hard, willing him to look at me. Finally he does, and I wish he hadn't.

Scorpius has a pained look on his face, like he took a bite of something foul, and now he's trying to force it down his throat. I recognize that look as one he gets when he has to talk about something uncomfortable. It was the look he got on his face when he told me his parents didn't want to meet me. It was the look he got on his face when he told me he was going to America. Whatever he was about to say, I wasn't going to like it.

"There's something I need to say, and I've been putting it off, but now I just have to say it. I've been cowardly to keep it in this long, and it's not fair to you."

"I have something to tell you to," I say quickly, forcing a smile. I clear my throat. "But you go first."

He frowns at me and reaches up to fiddle with his fork—fiddling, another sign of discomfort for Scorpius—and then he looks back at me.

"I'm going back to America."

My world shatters around me. It's like a giant dam has been holding back water—weakly, barely—and it finally breaks, and all the water comes crashing in, flooding my contentment, flooding any sense of peace that I had developed after deciding to tell Scorpius that I'm pregnant. There is no peace. There is no contentment. He's leaving. Again.

"For how long?" I ask, my voice hardly above a whisper.

He takes a deep breath. "Indefinitely."

Indefinitely.

He might as well have said, "Forever, you stupid bitch." Because that's how it sounds to my ears. Scorpius is going to America. He's leaving.

Indefinitely.

What will I do? Will he be back in time to see his child born? What will me and my little one do—Little Pea Head—as my father has taken to calling the baby? Little Pea Head needs his father.

"Indef—" my breath catches in my throat. "Scorpius, I—I'll go with you."

The words are out of my mouth before I even realize it. If Scorpius has to go back to America indefinitely, I want to be with him. I don't care about the band or my stupid apartment or even my family. I want Scorpius. I'll do anything to be with him.

Scorpius changed me. He made me into someone who's strong and fearless and brave. If it weren't for him, my band wouldn't be where it was today. If he had never called his father all that time ago and asked him to pull some strings, our band would have never gotten our second chance. Draco Malfoy was the accountant for the band Wear the Wolves, and if Scorpius hadn't asked his father to talk to them again about Founders Four, our lives would be completely different. Albus would be playing Quidditch. Lysander would probably be mixing potions and searching for strange artifacts with his parents. Nate would be doing something like writing books or poetry or something. And I would have probably taken some ministry job that I had no passion for.

If it weren't for Scorpius, I would still be the sad, insecure girl who let one guy make her believe that she was worthless years ago. I would have been too afraid to go after my dream because I wouldn't have had Scorpius in my corner telling me how beautiful and able I am. I would still be locking my anger inside and lashing out at anyone who even threatened to harm me. I wouldn't be who I am without Scorpius, and I don't want to live without him. I want to be with him no matter what. Me, Scorpius, and Little Pea Head.

I look up at him, and that's when I see it in his eyes. He's not telling me he's going to America because he wants me to go with him. He's telling me because he wants to end things with me before he goes. I'm nothing but a loose end he's trying to tie up before his long sojourn across the pond.

His eyes are sad and full of regret, and I feel like I'm going to be sick. My stomach clenches painfully, and I have to wrap my arms around my stomach and swallow hard to fight the wave of nausea that's threatening to overwhelm me.

When I speak next, I don't look up at him. I'm slightly hunched over on my chair at my dining room table, my arms around me, and my head bent, staring at a spot on the floor, not really seeing.

"You're ending this?"

The words are choked and hardly a whisper. I can barely speak, barely think, barely breathe. This can't be happening.

No.

No, this can't be happening. Scorpius can't be leaving me. He is my world. He is my everything. I won't be able to live without him.

When he doesn't say anything, I take a deep breath and sit up to look at him. He has concern etched all over his handsome features. He's beautiful. His gray eyes are sad and regretful. He looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn't quite know what to say.

"Why?" I breathe.

I see his body shift and change. He squares his shoulders a bit and sits up just a little bit straighter. He clenches his jaw and even his eyes get a bit harder. It's as if he's putting up some invisible shield to protect himself from me, from what he's doing.

"It's… I…" He sighs. "Rose, it's just too hard." I gape at him. Too hard! "It's always been too hard, and now I can't take it. You and me… We're in different places in our lives. You have your band, your label, your tour, everything. I have Hogwarts, and now I have to go to America for a while. We hardly ever see each other, and it's only going to get worse."

"But I'll go with you," I try to stress to him.

He shakes his head sadly, but doesn't say anything.

It's not that we're—what did he say?—in different places in our lives. It's not because of the band or because of Hogwarts. It's not even because of America. It's because he doesn't want me anymore.

"You don't love me anymore," I say quietly. He looks away and I blanch. Scorpius doesn't love me anymore. We haven't even been together for two years. What happened to forever? What happened when he said he was afraid of every little thing that could make him lose me—that he would love me forever and that there would never be anyone else? How could all of that change so suddenly? In a flash?

What about Pea Head?

The thought comes on suddenly and unbidden. Little Pea Head.

"I just don't understand," I say. I'm confused, and I suddenly start to feel angry, indignant. How can he do this? Obviously I never meant anything to him if he suddenly doesn't love me anymore—if a few hard months can make him think that our relationship just isn't worth fighting for. I sit up straighter. "Help me understand, Scorpius," I hiss. "Because you're not just going to run away to America when things get hard and not explain yourself. You owe me that."

I see him clench his jaw, and he takes a deep breath, his nostrils flaring as he does so. "Everything with you is hard. Nothing can ever just be simple. You have a bad temper and you love to push my buttons. You hate my friends, you hate my job, and sometimes it seems like everything I do pisses you off. When I went to America it was nice. You wanted me to tell you that I was miserable without you—you wanted me to say I missed you every day, but the truth was that I didn't, Rose. It was nice not to be around you and your constant fire—the constant stress you give me. I forgot what it was like not to be on fire constantly, and it was nice. It's just too hard, Rose, and I can't take it anymore."

Scorpius takes a deep breath and says no more. It's not like anything else need be said. I think he just about covered all the fucking bases.

Wow.

"Well, then," I say. The sadness and the nausea are completely gone. Instead, I am full of blinding, consuming, overwhelming rage. It's like I flipped a switch—the Hadley Switch, the switch that turns me from sad little girl, to angry, stone-cold bitch—and I immediately launch into self-preservation mode. I won't stand for this. I won't let him sit here and tell me all the things he hates about me. I won't let him break my heart.

I feel my arms shaking with angry adrenaline. I want to throttle him—wrap my hands around his throat and choke the life out of him.

What a coward. He is nothing but a filthy, stinking, cowardly Slytherin who would always rather take the easy way out than anything else. Well, fuck him. I will take Pea Head and my fucking fire and live my life without him. Forever.

I ignore the painful twist in my stomach and the clenching in my heart when I think that thought.

"I mean, if it wasn't always like this…" He was rambling now, but I didn't care enough to stop him and put him out of his misery. "If we didn't fight. If we both weren't so jealous. If we could spend more time together—"

"Why would you want to spend more time with me when I so clearly make you fucking miserable?"

"Rose—"

I shrug. "No, Scorpius, it's fine. I just didn't know you hated me so much."

"See, this is what I'm talking about."

I roll my eyes. "No, what you're talking about is your inability to do anything that might be a bit of a challenge. Every time anything in your life has ever gotten hard, you run. You didn't make the Cannons. You thought McGonagall found out about us. Things between us are hard. Of course, you run. You run because you're nothing but a coward! You're afraid of your own fucking shadow!" My voice is raising as I speak. "Well, you know what, I don't care."

"Good," he says quietly, almost to himself. "It's good that you hate me."

I ignore him. "I don't care because I'm strong." I gesture toward myself. "I can live without you." No! My brain is screaming at me. YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT SCORPIUS. "I can move on without you. Go!" I shout. "Fucking go to America! I hope you're happy. I hope it's fucking nice."

"Rose—"

"Goodbye, Scorpius." God, no, please, no. "Safe travels."

Scorpius stares at me for a moment, and then with a sigh, he stands up. He looks sad and resigned. He also looks exhausted. He looks like he wants to say something. He opens his mouth and then shuts it before he shakes his head and turns away.

I don't need him. I don't need him. I don't need him.

When he gets to my door, he pauses, and I think he's going to turn back and say something, but then he turns the knob and a moment later he's out of the door.

And out of my life.

My legs quiver, and I know it's because they want me to go after him. Both my brain and my heart are begging me to go after him. Tell him about the baby, my brain shouts at me. Tell him and then he can't leave!

But if there's anything that my fire has given me, it's pride. I won't beg him to stay. If he doesn't love me, and he's miserable with me, I don't want his fucking Malfoy honor to force him to stay with me.

I wanted him to want this. I wanted him to want me and Pea Head and a life together. I wanted him to love me forever. I wanted to grow old with him. But things got hard and suddenly, he's down for the count. I make him miserable, and he can't take it anymore.

I glance up and see the roses that he brought sitting in a vase in the center of the table, and then it hits me.

I am alone.

Scorpius left me.

Indefinitely.

Now I'm alone, and it's just me and Little Pea Head. I run my hands down my face and take a deep breathe. What will we do? What will I do? I look around frantically and suddenly my eyes flood with tears as the reality sinks in—the reality of what just happened. I can't live without Scorpius! I stand up suddenly and rush to the front door. I rip it open, half expecting him to be standing there with a stupid grin on his face, telling me he can't believe I fell for that. What was I thinking! What was I saying! I slam the door shut and run across the room to my phone. I grab it and call him. It rings for an eternity and then goes to voicemail.

"This is Scorpius Malfoy. Leave a message."

Come back! I want to scream. I love you, don't leave me!

I can't live without him! That was a lie! I dial again, and the tears start to fall. That was a stupid lie I said so that I could protect myself from pain, but isn't that the whole point?

I glance up at the table that has the remnants of our food, a crystal vase of the roses he brought me and two candles burning brightly, staring at me, taunting me as Scorpius's phone just rings and rings. Scorpius changed me. In my madness, I rush over to the table, grab the vase of flowers and hurl it across the room. He made me better. It shatters—glass and water and rose petals go flying, and all I can do is dial Scorpius's number again and again as the tears continue to fall and fall and fall. He made me feel again. I stare at the scattered roses—broken, scattered roses. How apt—and choke out a sob as I lean against the wall and slide to the floor, calling him over and over. He made me whole again. "Come back," I say aloud to nobody. "Come back." And now he's gone.

Indefinitely.

A/N:

First, thank you so much to everyone who stuck with this story from the beginning, and thank you to everyone who reviewed and kept letting me know everything they thought. It meant a lot. I know I didn't always get a chance to respond to everyone's reviews, but I took each to heart, truly. I know this was a long haul, but I hope everyone who read it thought it was worth it.

Second, I know nearly everyone is going to be mad at me because of this ending (sorry!), but just remember that there will be a sequel! Keep an eye out on my profile page for updates about the sequel. I'm hoping to have the first chapter up by the end of January, so keep an eye out.

Thank you so much again. I adore you all.