Day 7

Elsa lied in bed, unable to sleep. This past week had been unbearable for her. As hard as she tried she could not forget the kiss she shared with the red head and she hated herself for it. Elsa looked at the digital clock on her night stand, the red digits were the only thing that shined in the dark room.

12:03. So it's been exactly a week from today…

The blonde headed to bed early this night, telling her father that she was feeling sick. It wasn't a lie, but it also was no different from how Elsa usually felt, today was just much worse, and each day that passed it became worse. She found it hard to sleep and she was never hungry. At around eight Elsa had gone upstairs to her room, and for the past 4 hours she had been lying in bed in nothing but one of her oversized white T-shirts she always wore to sleep in. Her hair was undone from its usual braid and its long waves fell over her pillow and shoulders.

Elsa turned on her side as she felt an old familiar feeling start to arise. She tried not to but she was always thinking about the kiss. About how Anna's lips felt, how her bright eyes looked. She couldn't think of anything else she wanted, but in the same regard she couldn't think of anything more sinful.

I have to stop, I'm a sinner and I don't deserve happiness.

Elsa pushed her hands into her eyes trying to block out the images that haunted her of Anna, but the pressure only seemed to intensify the memory. It played over and over in her mind and it was becoming too much for her. The memory transformed into a fantasy as Elsa's unconscious began to form her deepest desires.

She began to imagine Anna kissing her on the balcony, except this time it didn't stop. The kiss continued and there Anna was pushing Elsa up against the wall, her mouth immediately finding the softness of Elsa's neck.

While the fantasy raced through Elsa's mind she found her heart racing faster and faster, and a throbbing deep within worsening. She couldn't take it anymore; Elsa slid her hand down the fabric on her stomach and pulled the shirt up. Her underwear was already soaked. Elsa gripped the waistband and hesitated for a moment.

This is wrong…

Elsa shook her head; she just wanted this throbbing to end. In one quick motion Elsa had slid her hand down the front of her underwear and made contact with the wet silky folds between her legs and began to rub up and down in a constant motion. Elsa rocked back and forth with the motion of her hand, aching for more friction. She breathed faster and faster. Her heart was pounding now and she couldn't contain the moans of pleasure that escaped from deep inside. Inside her mind Anna had now slid her hand down Elsa's jeans, her back against the wall and her lips in constant contact with the red head. Elsa's rocking became faster and faster, her fingers making circles over her clit. It was not long until she felt herself reaching her peak. Elsa grabbed a pillow and covered her face with it. She let go of one last deep moan into her pillow as her rocking began to slow down and felt one last burst of warmth cover her inner thighs.

Elsa moved the pillow and laid there in silence without moving. Her hand still rested slowly stroking her soft lips, each stroke initiating a shiver of sensitivity that rattled her body.

Her breath began to level out as Elsa stared into the blackness of her room. With her other hand she fingered the bronze cross that dangled around her neck. The familiar feeling of fear overcame her. Elsa spent the rest of the night crying softly to herself, and in that moment there was no one as lonely as she felt.

Day 14

Another week had passed and Elsa's sadness began to turn to numbness. Elsa tried to pass the time by sitting in her room on her laptop, mindlessly searching through the internet. For the past couple hours she went from website to website looking for something to read, play, watch, anything at all.

A burn in her eyes began from staring at the dull screen and she closed the lid of the computer. She rubbed her sore eye lids and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Elsa rocked back in forth in her desk chair. She wore a pair of baggy black sweat pants and a form fitting blue v-neck. Elsa stared at the wall and became lost in her thoughts.

Why was I born? I'm a monster, I have repulsive urges and I'm just gonna end up bringing others down with me…

Elsa was not always a timid girl.

When Elsa was younger, all the other girls her age started to find boys attractive. Elsa was different though. She never found the boys in her class appealing. If anything, around the time her friends started discovering boys, she discovered something about herself. She discovered she didn't like boys like the other girls did. If anything she liked the girls like the boys did. This led to much confusion and Elsa wanted to find answers to why she was this way so she asked her father. Elsa will never forget that day.

One day after Elsa got home from school, her father jokingly asked her if there were any lucky boys that she was looking at. The young eleven year old took this opportunity to bring up the topic that had her confused the past couple weeks.

"Daddy I think I like girls. My other friends talk about boys but I think that girls are a lot prettier."

Her father got very pale at this, but he didn't say a word for several minutes.

"What do you mean Elsa?"

Elsa got embarrassed, it was uncomfortable to speak to her father about such a topic, but she was more confused about herself than embarrassed so she continued.

"I don't know… Like, girls are soft and pretty and they're not like boys, I don't think I like boys like my fri-"

Before Elsa could finish her sentence her father had grabbed her wrists tightly, Elsa had never seen him this way. His grip was uncomfortable and seeing him this way scared the young girl. He spoke through his teeth.

"You listen to me Elsa, what you're thinking is a sin! If you continue to go down this road you will burn all of eternity."

"But dad-"

"NO! You listen to me, I will not hear another word of this. If you continue to have these thoughts not only will you be disobeying me, but you will disobey God. I will not have my only child be a disgusting monster."

Her father let go and walked towards the open door, but stopped in the frame. Elsa couldn't speak, she was too afraid.

"You need to learn how to conceal this wicked behavior, and if you don't like boys that's fine, but if that's the case you better not feel at all. I think it would be better if you don't leave your room the rest of the night."

Her father slammed the door and Elsa waited until she couldn't hear his footsteps anymore.

"I'm a… I'm a… monster…"

Elsa quivered before falling on her bed. From that moment on, the energetic girl would never be the same.

Day 17

Elsa watched as Anna walked out and looked down at her number. Deep down she felt something. Was it… happiness? Her father looked at Elsa; she was still sitting behind the desk.

"She seemed nice."

Elsa smiled. "Yeah she really is."

Elsa realized after several seconds she was still smiling and composed herself. She couldn't let her father know that there was anything between the two girls. Even if all they had was a kiss. Her father stood a moment longer, thinking of something before shaking his head and the smile returned.

"Alright, I'll leave you to your work then"

He gave one last nod and closed the door gently.

Later that night Elsa found herself laying in bed, but this time she wasn't crying for the first time in the past 2 weeks, she was excited and nervous. She held the paper Anna had used to jot down her number and stared at the characters as if they were a foreign language waiting to be translated. By now Elsa had memorized the number but couldn't find the courage to actually call the girl of her dreams.

But we could just be friends… right? We don't have to sin at all…

Elsa never thought about this idea and it excited her.

We can just be friends! That's all!

Elsa knew this might be a dangerous relationship to get involved with. She was well aware that her heart might be broken in the end, but she didn't care. She wanted a friend and it was going to be Anna. Elsa grabbed her cell phone and typed in the number, smiled contently and hit the call button.