Just a little note before you get started. read or dont read, your choice bbys~ :
I found it especially difficult to write this chapter. Not because I had no idea what to do (since I've got most of the story planned out), but because I just wasn't sure how to set up the HONEST conversation between the girl and the turtles. Most of this is based off of personal experience (the depression part, not meeting the turtles...), but I've never gone through the experience of talking to someone else about my problems. Anywho, I tried to make it seem as... realistic as possible. I guess. Idk. Guess it's different for everyone.
And umm. I re-read chapter 5, and noticed a bunch of tiny mistakes. I almost slapped myself for them. Sorry about the mistakes guys, I never really have time to check the chapters over.
If you're having trouble trying to imagine what their house looks like by my description, imagine it like it's the 2007 movie house. Hope you've all watched that. Although, their TV room is located on the second level rather than on the main floor beside the kitchen... WOW i'm terrible at explaining things.
Raph stared at me in confusion. "Whoa... wait, what? Why?" He pushed himself up into a sitting position on the couch and ripped out his other earphone, giving me his full attention.
"I..." I stopped. I quickly peeked behind me, but as I had expected, Don and Leo were standing behind me with worried looks on their faces.
My thoughts were swarming. My mind was full of thoughts, some of them were shouting at me to sit still and be cooperative while the others were shouting at me to just get the hell out of there. These turtles just want to help me! Why am I being so stubborn right now? But... they don't have to help me. It'll just be a bother to them. God damnit. This is just getting dumb now.
"Leanne," Leo's voice spoke from behind me as I stood still facing Raph, "Sorry, that probably wasn't the right way to approach the situation. Could we... um, could we possibly ask you some stuff?"
I turned to face him. "What kind of stuff?"
"Just sit down. Don't worry, you don't have to answer if you don't want to," Don said as he started to walk slowly towards me.
Without questioning him, I sat down on the couch next to red-masked turtle. His gaze shifted towards Leo and Don as they moved closer to where we were sitting.
"Now what?" I asked them, watching as they settled down around me. I could tell Raph was beyond confused at this point.
"What the hell is goin' on?" Raph demanded with a bewildered expression on his face.
"Right now, we're just trying to understand Leanne's current condition," Don explained. "Earlier I didn't take how she was feeling into account and I blurted out some things she just wasn't mentally prepared for." He looked at me. "Sorry about that."
I didn't respond to his apology. "Well, what do you guys need to ask me?"
"About... well," Leo paused, trying to choose the right words. "Well." He looked over at his purple-masked brother, silently pleading for some back up. Don crossed his arms and thought for a moment about how he could ask me delicately.
"Well," Don started, "What led you to start... the self infliction?" He bit his lip and stared at my arms for a second before looking back up into my eyes.
I could feel my cheeks grow slightly warm. For a moment I truly regretted not putting on the sweater that Don had offered me earlier. "Ah." I replied. I wasn't sure how to begin. I shifted my gaze between the three turtles, looking at their expressions. Don and Leo both looked almost worried, while Raph still looked mildly confused but he also looked slightly concerned and tired. I suddenly felt bad for interrupting Raph when he was trying to nap earlier. I sighed, and finally decided to speak up.
"So, I guess I started because I felt lonely or something. Not good enough. I felt like... like no matter how hard I try for something, whether it be for school work or for just... anything, it's never good enough. I will never be good enough. Also, around that time my parents started to avoid hanging around at home anymore and just started to totally avoid me and my brother. I don't know why, either. It was super frustrating." I looked up at Don and Leo.
Don just nodded at me to continue on. I guessed that he wanted me to just keep talking about my problems or something. I wasn't sure what sort of problems I wanted to talk to them about, but the words just kept flowing from my brain and out of my mouth after being held back for years. I began to vent to them about problems with my friends, my parents, and my school grades that were growing worse each semester.
After that, I started describing to them in great detail about how I never intended to continue cutting after the first time I tried it, but then I just started to do it more and more because I craved the feeling of it. Whenever I was sad, I would cut. Whenever I felt guilty, I would cut. It took over my mind, and it became what seemed to be the solution to all my problems. Becoming obsessed with self-harm was something I was not expecting. I ended it off by telling them that overall, my self-harm was mostly associated with my parents, high-school, and my self-esteem. They listened to me without interrupting at all. At times, I could see Raph wanted to say something or comment on the things I had said, but he would stop as soon as he saw the deadly looks his brothers were giving him.
When I was finished, I didn't realize how silent they were. The entire them, they stayed silent and stared at me. I stayed silent after I finished, my mouth feeling dry. I hadn't realized how long I'd been going on for. Finally, Leo spoke up.
"How are you feeling now, Leanne?" Leo asked.
To my surprise, I felt... slightly better. After speaking out my problems to these turtles, I felt relieved getting my problems all off my chest. "I feel... alright, I guess." I gave him a small, sincere smile.
"Wow. A little girl like you, and you're already goin' through all that?" Raph spoke up this time. He was sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.
"Um, I'm not little. I'm actually a teenager," I replied, feeling slightly annoyed. I felt a hand touch my shoulder lightly. I looked up, seeing Don.
"You know, you don't have to go through this all by yourself, right? You know you can get help? And I'm not talking about professional help, like doctors and therapists... I'm talking about, well, speaking about it to people you can trust. Like..." He paused, thinking about it for a minute, "Us, for example."
I looked up at him, doubting what I had just heard for a second. Trusting... them? These turtles that I just met? It seemed a little... odd. I mean, considering I just met them and they barel- well, they know a bit about me now. They didn't know the basic things- like what my favorite color was or my favorite food. Still, after all they had done for me... I wouldn't mind getting closer to them. They listened to me, and I think that maybe after some time of getting to know them and me for them, I'd be able to learn to trust them.
The three of them were staring at me with soft eyes. Don gave me a small smile
"I..." I paused, letting the last bits of doubt inside me disintegrate. I wanted to be honest to them now. I was tired of blocking people out of my world and being alone. I needed someone. "Yeah... Okay."
"What? You're just gonna trust us? Jus' like that?" Raph gave me a look.
"Well... I guess... yeah," I replied. "I know it seems really sudden... but I... I just want to try trusting someone for once."
"Okay," Don pulled me into a small one-armed hug, but quickly pulled away after a second. "Trust us, okay? Don't keep this to yourself."
I nodded, slumping myself back into the couch. My head was starting to hurt again, but I couldn't care less. I finally found individuals I could learn to trust. "How long was I talking for?"
"Maybe an hour? An hour and a half? I don't know, but it was a while," Leo replied.
I stared at him. "What? An hour? Okay, I've never talked for that long before. Like, an hour straight without breaks? No wonder my mouth is so dry. And... ugh, my head hurts." I used my index fingers to massage my temples lightly.
"Let me get you some water and Advil. Don't move," Don rushed downstairs to the kitchen.
Leo and Raph remained silent when Don left. It left the atmosphere extremely awkward for when Don would return.
"So..." I spoke up, breaking the silence again. "What-"
"DUDES!" Mikey's voice echoed through-out their home. I could hear his footsteps approaching us.
"What?" Leo turned to where Mikey's voice was coming from.
"Where. Is. The. Cat. Food?" Mikey demanded anxiously.
"Cat food? Why would we know where your cat food is? You're the one who took on the full responsibility of taking care of Klunk," Leo responded calmly.
"Yeah I know but... Oh hey Lea!" He was much closer to where they were now.
"Hey, Mikey!" I smiled at him.
"What's going on here?" He asked as he plopped himself beside me on the couch. "I wanna be part of the meeting too!"
"Mikey, jus' get outta here. This is a meeting for grown-ups," Raph said rolling his eyes.
Mikey frowned. "I can be grown up too!" He clung onto my arm and stared desperately into my eyes. "Can I know what's happening too? Please?"
"Mikey..." Raph gave him a death-glare, but Mikey remained un-phased.
Mikey stuck out his tongue at Raph. "Come on! I can keep secrets! I know when to be serious! C'mon, why do you guys always leave me out of these things?"
Mikey and Raph continued bickering at each other until Don came back with some pills and a glass of water. He handed them over to me, and I took them immediately. Don must've said something to Leo, because after whispering something into his ear, Leo grabbed Mikey and Raph's arms and dragged them away, even after Mikey's many protests. It was just me and Don now.
"So, I've been thinking about what we could do..."Don said.
I looked at him hopefully. "Oh, yes. And?"
"Well. I was thinking... maybe you should stay with us until your wounds heal. Or you could stay at your home. Whatever works best for you? But I think it'd be best if you stayed here so we can keep an eye on you... if you know what I mean."
I nodded understandingly. "Yeah, okay. I think that would work... but what about my brother? And my dog? I can't just leave them home alone!"
"It's okay, we'll figure that out. How about we bring you home first to pack up some clothes, and go speak to your brother about what's going on?"
"Well. I don't know about telling him that I... well, I don't know. I just don't know if he's mature enough to handle it yet. I... well, yeah. Anyway. Yeah, I'll talk to him. Tell him I'll be gone for a while. Stuff like that."
Don stood up and took out a weird-looking cell phone. It was shell-shaped, and had a little antenna sticking out the end. "Okay, so It's about 1pm now. Are you hungry?"
I shook my head. "Nah, I'm good."
"I'll get Mikey to cook you something, but we're kind of running low on food so we have to go grocery shopping too..." Don admitted suddenly.
"Yeah, don't worry. I can help with that. Let's go to my house first, then I'll talk to my brother and we can go grocery shopping afterwards," I suggested.
"Yeah, Okay. I'll go tell my brothers what we're up to and we can get going."
"Sure. I'll just go... um. Freshen up, I guess. I still feel like a mess."
Don laughed. "Bathroom is down the hall, across the hall from Mikey's room. By the way, I put your shoes beside Mikey's bed." He stood up and made his way towards the direction where Leo walked off with the two bickering brothers.
"Alright, thanks. Tell me when we're leaving." I chugged down the last bit of water that he had given to me, and made my way over to the bathroom. My bladder was on the verge of exploding. After finally locating the door, I pushed it open and searched for a light switch. After a few seconds of searching, I found the light switch on the wall behind the door. How annoying. The light switch should be on the other side of the door, so you can just turn on the light faster. Why the heck is it behind the door? I closed the door behind me, and observed their bathroom for a minute.
It was pretty clean. Well, for four GUY turtles, it was pretty clean. I mean, there was just dust in some random places, and there weren't really many things they needed to put on their bathroom counter other than toothbrushes. But there were other things on the counter that I didn't expect them to have; like a hairbrush, and some hair rejuvenating products. They didn't have hair, so I assumed that it was there for when their human friend would stay with them.
I stared at the hairbrush, debating whether or not to use it. There was hair tangled in the bristles of the brush, and some of the strands were... very short. And grey. Their friend was an old woman? I decided to leave the hair brush alone, just to be on the safe side. I looked into the mirror and stared at my face. I hadn't washed my face the night before, and I could practically feel it breaking out already. I turned on the warm water, and started splashing my face and massaged my skin lightly. It was very refreshing. After turning off the water, I wiped my hands with a towel that was hanging on a towel rack beside me and stared back into the mirror. I leaned forward into the counter, and continued to stare at my appearance. My eye bags were huge and I looked exhausted. I untangled my hair gently with my fingers, and straightened out some parts of my hair that looked odd.
After doing my business (After... peeing), I left the bathroom and walked towards Mikey's door. I knocked gently on it, just in case Mikey happened to be inside.
"Mikey?" I said softly before pushing open the door. There was no reply.
I walked over to the bunk bed and tugged on my shoes. After straightening out the bed I slept in the night before and grabbing my filthy clothes, I made my way out the door and back towards their living room. Realizing the no one was present yet; I sat down on the couch and clutched my clothes towards my chest as waited patiently for one of them to show up. That's when I heard a familiar sound.
Meow.
I felt myself flinch when I heard it. Was their home haunted? What was going on? I distinctly remembered hearing something just like that the night before.
Standing up from the couch, I slowly walked towards the direction of where the sound was coming from. I could feel the anxiety building up in my chest. I was just a big scaredy-cat. It's really no wonder I hated horror/thriller movies. My grip tightened on my clothes as I continued on towards the source. I almost reached the bottom of the stairs before a small orange figure jumped in leaped in front of me. I tried to jump back in surprise, but I only felt myself trip on the stairs and fall backwards painfully with a loud thud. I let out a yelp in pain.
"Meow," sounded the little figure on the ground. I stared at it, realizing it was a small orange cat. I smiled a little. I couldn't believe that they had a cat. That was incredibly adorable. I had a strange weakness for guys who liked cats – in the least creepy sense, of course!
"Hey, what happened?" I saw as Leo jumped down from the second floor to where I was. He was beside me in seconds and knelt beside me. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. Your cat just scared me." I stared back at the orange feline as it turned its back towards me and walked off slowly in another direction.
"Oh yeah. That's Klunk," he said as he helped me back up. "Mikey found him one Christmas a few years ago. He was late for Christmas dinner! He kept us and our guests waiting the entire time." Leo chuckled, shaking his head slowly. "Boy, were we mad." I giggled at the thought as he pulled me up.
Suddenly, Don jumped down from the second floor. He had a bag on his back and I saw his weapon strapped on his shell as well. He looked at me. "You ready to go?" I nodded. "Raph. Hurry up!"
I heard Raph groan in the distance. "Man, can't a turtle just be a turtle for once?" He slowly made his way down the stairs.
Don gave him a look. "Well, you know... since we're mutated, we've obtained the ability to perform and move around like humans. We just... don't look like them. Luckily we weren't stuck with the one expectation that turtles are well-known for; and that's being velocity challenged. I could really go on and describe "
"Yeah, yeah. I've heard this a million times." Raph waved his hand at him before turning over to me. "Alright. I'll carry ya if ya want. Just show me where to go once I get to the top of that building where I found you; 'cuz that's where I'm headed."
"Wait, are just you and Don coming?" I asked.
"Well, actually I decided that all four of us should come. I mean, if you're going to be... well, staying with us, then I figured that maybe we should all know where you live in case of emergencies." Don responded.
"Okay. Makes sense." I looked back to Raph. "Should I ride on your back?"
Raph grabbed me and pulled me onto his shell roughly. I squeaked in surprise. He smirked at my reaction. "Duh. Where else would ya ride?" I snorted at how dirty it sounded but I was glad none of them caught it.
"Not so fast, Raphael." Leo spoke up. "We need to wear these disguises before going topside. It's sort of the middle of the day." Don handed Leo some clothes that he yanked out from his bag. "We need to be careful and not be spotted."
Raph groaned loudly but swiped the clothes from Leo. "MIKEY. HURRY UP." He yelled before yanking on the clothes.
It took a while, but finally Mikey showed up. His comic books were apparently "keeping him from coming down earlier". After a few minutes of bickering we finally left their home, with me on Raph's back. We climbed up the manhole and eventually ended up on the roofs. They ran and leapt from building to building at such an alarming speed that we were in my neighbourhood before I even knew it. We landed on the building where Raph and I met, and he waited for my instructions on where to go from there. To my surprise, they were incredibly patient.
"Alright. Let's jump down to that alley, and we'll walk there. It isn't far, so just follow me. It'll be weird if people see you guys jumping down to my window or something." I pointed to the alley where I was almost cornered by Purple Dragons.
They jumped down, and Raph let me off his shell so I could walk on my own. Their appearances were quite funny to me. They all wore huge hoodies and pants. Not only that, but their hoodie colors coordinated with their mask colors so it was easy to differentiate between them. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing. I watched as they pulled up their hoods to hide their faces. I clutched my dirty clothes in my arms.
"Kay, follow me. Don't do anything weird, okay?" I instructed.
Don and Leo chuckled. "Don't worry Leanne," Leo said. "We've done this before."
"Okay..." I replied still unsure.
We walked down the alley, and finally reached the street. I could see the gas station in the distance as I walked towards my home. I felt uneasy the entire walk there, worried that someone would think it was weird that four large men were following me home. I could hear that they were talking about something, but I could barely keep up with their conversation. Something about a 10 foot-tall cow? Something like that. It was probably a conversation that Mikey sparked up. After a good 7 minute walk, we made it to my front door. I reached into the pocket of my dirty hoodie that I was holding, grabbing the keys that were (thankfully) still inside. I heard the click from my door as I unlocked it, and pushed it open slowly. I could feel my turtle friends behind me getting ready to jump inside – as I also was – but I could only freeze at who was anxiously waiting for me inside.
Oh lord please don't hate me for not posting in like 2 months. It's been a really rough two months and bleh. Yeah sorry this chapter isn't really well-written. I totally rushed it and only checked it over like twice but I swear I'll make the next chapter better :c
xoxo