It'd been an accident, of course, but the harrowing guilt forming in Liam's gut was not helping him get over it anytime soon. Killian had yet to utter a word since the incident quietly and methodically going about his chores and duties in silence. The other sailors muttered and sniggered about it, jabbing each other in the ribs and commenting about his "battle scar" and how it would really set off the ladies at the taverns they weren't supposed to be visiting at port.

The new Captain John an elderly man with wise grey eyes who reminded Liam of an owl had taken to the situation quite calmly, though the situation was not one of the light airiness. His lieutenant was foolish enough to practice dueling with real sharpened swords that had permanently scarred his little brother's cheek. There was no punishments rewarded or no lecturing as they should have been, rather John requested they go about their business as usual and for the "young lad" to get bandaged up right and get some rest.

"Why didn't you punish me sir?"

John halted in his step not bothering to turn and face him when he answered, "I knew you'd punish yourself, you see, I once was like you. Self-righteous, loyal, always pinning to do the right thing and had a strict sense of the rules-

"As one should," Liam interrupted involuntarily, "sorry sir."

"Yes, rules are there for a reason and I also had a little brother who idolized me."

"Idolized? Killian doesn't idolize me-

John began to chuckle for a few moments before they turned into deep throaty coughs as he bent over upon his knees. Liam rushed to his side holding firm onto the man's bony arms and helping him stay up right, he'd be dammed if he lost yet another Captain.

"Your brother would kiss the wooded ground you walked on if you asked him too." John was silent for a long time before he added, "was it truly an accident?"

Liam was appalled as he took a step back quickly retracting his arms, "of course it was an accident! How dare you ask that it wasn't? The side of my brother's-

The Captain held up a hand silencing him in mid-rant, "I wasn't asking if you meant to scar your brother. I was asking if it truly was an accident that the two of you were sword fighting with real swords. Was it an accident that you wished to duel an opponent not only smaller than you but much lesser skilled? Or did you wish to vent out some of that anger boiling inside of you, at your mother, at Jones, at Matthias and at Killian, the reason your mother fled all of those nights ago? The reason you could not join the navy the day you turned fourteen. Huh? Am I right?"

The revelation a few days ago had been eating at him at all hours of the day, stealing his focus, his time and making it nearly impossible to sleep, as thoughts came bubbling up. Imaging his life as Liam Matthias junior, picturing if his mother had never fled all those nights ago would they still be living at the castle? Would there be an endless bounty of food? Balls filled with young bashful ladies in all sorts of dresses. Would he not know hunger and dehydration?

"Why would she run? She was a princess. She had it all, money, food, warmth!"

"Love is a fickle thing. It's started many wars and it's lost many lives. And to live a life without love is a terrible thing. Don't judge your mother too harshly. She was doing what I'm sure she thought was the best thing-

"For who, her unborn child? For Davy Jones? Certainly not for me or for Matthias!"

"Matthias was in love with another person, a person that goes by Avery," Before the Captain went further he stopped himself and said, "that is neither here nor there. The past is the past. You love Killian right?"

Without hesitation Liam answered yes. There was no one in any of the realms he loved more than the only family he'd actually known.

"Go and talk with him. You might think that you're good at hiding all of that rage but news flash you're like every other anguished teenager, moody and brooding around this ship."

Killian sat in his bunk, propped up by his lumpy pillow. He hadn't bothered to light any of the candles, letting only the tiny streak of lights from the creaks of the upper deck shine in. He'd delicately peeled off the bandage from his cheek and was tentatively touching the wound that'd been inflicted by his brother's sword. Liam hadn't really been his self and despite knowing they shouldn't Killian allowed himself to be goaded into a duel even though he was certain he'd lose. It was the harsh swings of the sword and the look of pure enjoyment that terrified him. In those moments it wasn't Liam fighting him, it was something else. What he wasn't exactly sure.

Hearing his brother's pounding defiant steps down the latter Killian pulled the pillow down and rolled onto his side, stuffing the bandage underneath the sheets.

"You can stop pretending." Liam said smugly. "I know you sleep on your stomach, not your side." He plopped himself down at the edge of the bed careful not to squish his brother's feet and hunching himself over. "I wanted to apologize."

"What overcame you in that duel?"

His brother's glacial eyes starred intently at him, one of his eyebrows quirking upward as he propped himself up on his elbows. How could he put it into words? That he was angry Killian had been born? But he wasn't angry that he existed? How would that make any sense to him? It would hurt him so.

Sensing his elder brother's hesitation Killian all-knowingly said, "I'm not a little boy."

"No but you're still my baby brother."

"Baby? Perhaps little would be better suiting. I'm not that little kid anymore. I've traveled to many foreign lands, heard every foul word in our language and though not officially I've been serving in his Majesty's army. There isn't much I haven't seen or done yet."

"There are a lot of things you haven't done yet. Like reach five foot of height, or kissed a girl-

"And you have?" Upon the faint blush that spread across his elder brother's pale cheeks Killian leaned further and pressed, "you have? When Mr. Upstanding Lieutenant you!"

"A few months ago, when we were at the port in Coventry, I accompanied Denny to a tavern." The memory was a bit fuzzy. The rum had made it nearly impossible to recollect anything from that night aside from rapid flashes, smells, touches and sounds, "her name was Jade."

"A hooker?!" Killian inquired in disbelief and his eyebrow arched even further up his forehead. "Did you….," his voice trailed off as his eyes looked away. His brother only recently became aware of things beyond kissing. They'd been orphaned long before anyone could ever properly explain to them and Matthias had taken the time to have that particular chat with him, long before Liam knew of their true identity. It was one of those fatherly things he'd bestowed upon him before being honorably discharged. It was a chat Liam would never forget, awkward, blunt, short, Matthias was sweating profusely and it left the both feeling aloof. There'd been a number of things the man left out, that left him curious, which led him to the sailors who were more than happy to share in their vast knowledge.

"I don't really think it's any of your business, little brother." Liam retorted. His precarious brother looked as though he wanted to ask for more but was too embarrassed too. He was still a bit young to know much about any of that business.

Killian turned back to their prior conversation inquiring what had overcome his brother. Liam heaved in a deep breathe; he hadn't divulged any part of what he'd discovered at the palace, feeling it to be much too burdensome, but it too was Killian's burden. Trying his best not to tarnish the idealized version of their parents that his little brother clung too he began to tell the tale of all he knew. The twelve year old was silent during the whole telling, looking quite perplexed.

"We're only half brothers?"

The question caught Liam off guard completely. "I don't believe in family by half. You're my little brother and you will always be."