Killian Jones was not sure he deserved to be standing where he was, basking in the midday's sun or even if he deserved to still be breathing. Liam stood in his naval best, standing atop a wooden box, bidding farewell to Sparky whose body was wrapped tightly in a white linen cloth with three pieces of rope wrapped around it. After the blessing the plank was lifted and the body slipped into the oddly tranquil waters and sunk to an unseen fathomless bottom. His stomach clenched painfully as he thought of it rotting away into nothingness.

"No….no…..no…please." Killian pleaded as he clutched tighter onto Sparky's body which rested partially upon him. The boy's head was resting upon his lap, bloodied and had a deathly pallor to it, his grey eyes becoming glassy and unfocused as he gazed up into the midday's sun. And he began to wonder if perhaps Sparky was seeing the white light rumored to be seen by persons on the verge of death. Sparky's grasp on his upper arm weakened and the arm slumped to the deck. Liam knelt beside them using his shirt to stop the blood, both of his hands placing pressure upon Sparky's midsection which had a ghastly cut upon it from one of the pirate's blades, he spared a fleeting glance at his little brother before stopping applying pressure. "Don't die! Don't die! Please!"

"He's gone." Liam whispered in a grave tone shakily standing. His hands were caked in fresh blood and he let go of his bloody shirt letting it crumple into a ball upon the wooden deck.

Killian lunged forward frantically hugging the body close to himself, a crazed expression gleamed over him. It was his entire fault. He'd shot the first shot that started the battle that'd killed him. He should be dead.

"Let go!" His brother ordered but his voice seemed to be further away and echoing in. "Killy, you can't do anything for him now!" He felt numb and only held on tighter when his brother tried to pry him away from the body.

It'd been nearly three days since the battle and Liam was gravely concerned for his brother who seemingly hadn't slept and still seemed to be in a crazed daze. The only parcel of food his brother had consumed in the past few days had been a stale old biscuit and despite his vow to not break his silence, he knew now was most certainly not for the time to be holding grudges. He watch as his slight brother stiffly made his way into the masses; head bowed avoiding everyone else's glares and looking very much like a kicked dog.

"Killian!" Liam shouted out. The sailors looked bewildered at him but none the less shuffled out of his way as he began to sprint after him but after he darted past them he noticed they all came to a stop, no doubt to eavesdrop. "Oi?! What are you lot doing? Get on with prepping the ship for its voyage."

"I don't wanna talk." Killian uttered in a hushed manner.

"Too bad." Liam huffed out. "We need to talk about what's going on in that head of yours." His brother opened his mouth to protest but Liam cut him off. "I'm going to talk and you are going to listen."

There was a brief moment when his typical angst little brother reappeared when underneath his shaggy dark hair there was a slight roll of the eyes. If it'd been any other day he would have been reprimanded for his disrespect but today he didn't warrant it.

"Killian…..you didn't kill him those dastardly pirates did-

"But I shot the first cannon!"

"Regardless, the battle would have ensued." He received a dubious look from his doubtful and guilt ridden younger brother. "Killy, you didn't put the sword through him! That pirate did! You did not kill him!"

It as though he were talking to a wall, nothing he said was getting to his obstinate brother who seemed determined to be guilt ridden for the rest of his existence. Determination and being as stubborn as hell seemed to be a family trait.

Three days passed by of nothingness. Killian said nothing to no one, ate very little and had been tossing and turning all night. It'd driven Liam to the point of scooping his brother up in the dead of the night and carrying him into the secluded captain's quarters where he hoped the serenity or something would lull him to a fruitful sleep. The other sailors snickered about it and talked in hushed tones about the battle. There'd been three deaths, which by any battles was a small casualty and about a dozen or so injured. Of all the possible outcomes of the Jewel of The Seas being outnumbered greatly this was possibly the best. The pirates had seemingly been hung over or drugged up upon some foreign plant and were in no condition to be fighting but seemed hell bent on doing it anyway.

"I can't lose you." Liam said to his brother's sleeping form. The waters had seemed to calm for a few moments and it seemed Killian's restlessness had eased. It seemed he was in the phase right before deep sleep. "You're all I have." Liam shifted his position in the chair in hopes to alleviate the pain forming in the little of his back but the achiness remained. Standing he shuffled his feet along the wooden floor before delicately brushing his hand throughout his brother's hair. It was an oddity that he ever did it. Vaguely he could still recall images of his mother soothingly running her slim fingers throughout his mop of curls, delicately unknotting the tangles as she went, careful not to inflict pain upon him. He looked up towards the ceiling of the ship, passed the wooden deck to the starry sky trying to imagine his mother watching from above. For a long time he'd struggled with the idea of some other being watching over them. "Hey uh mum….," he bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "I know it's been a long time since we talked and I am so sorry." He creaked one of his eyes open scanning around the room. He'd never hear the end of it if one of the sailors caught him talking to his dead mum. "But if you can help Killian I'd really appreciate it. I love you."

A/N: I am so sorry for the really long wait it's been a hectic year but I hope you're still enjoying this. All of your reviews have been appreciated