He did not really know why he was even doing this, but perhaps he did too. Either way, before he knew it, he had finished dialing and the phone on the other end was ringing.

He did this very rarely. It was still Arthur who usually called. It had become a thing with them over the past few months. Arthur had jokingly referred to their phone call times as their "midnight specials", since they usually took place late in the night when their university-related bustle had died down.

"You have reached the automated voicemail of.." Merlin pressed down the red end-call button and threw his phone down on the bed. He let out a sigh and threw himself down beside the phone, burying his face into the pillows. All the doors seemed to have closed on him that day, and he felt bleak, meaningless, frustrated. He was considering the merits of screaming it out to the world, even though it was probably going to bring his flat mate running to his room which was the last thing he wanted just then, when the phone beside him began to vibrate in earnest.

Though he himself had tried calling Arthur mere moments ago, he still hesitated before accepting the call. He was seriously pissed off, and he did know if he wanted to talk about it. But he really needed to hear his friend's bright voice right then, so he took a deep breath and put his phone to his ear.

"Fucking finally," Arthur said, without waiting for Merlin to speak. "I thought you had gone to take a leak like I was doing just now."

Usually Merlin would have quipped back with something like "Too much info, mate," but he was just relieved that Arthur had called back.

"Sorry," he managed to get out, and then he realized that it was too late anyway, because now Arthur was thinking. He could tell when that happens now, even though he could not see Arthur's frown-y thinking face.

And sure enough, Arthur had picked up on his mood from a single word. That happens now too. Although Arthur does not pick up on it every time - that would be freaky - Arthur did make an effort, and he was getting better every time. Merlin heaved a sigh in relief that this was one such time.

"What happened?" Arthur asked, concern creeping slowly into his voice.

"Arthur just. Could you just… talk?"

Arthur was silent for one long second, and Merlin was afraid he would ask what had happened, but the second passed and when Arthur replied, it was with his usual prattle about his friends and his day, and Merlin clung on to his phone like a lifeline, taking it in like a man dying of thirst.

For reasons he could not explain even to himself, this routine of theirs was therapy to him after a bad day. He just let Arthur babble about meaningless stuff, and found his mind settling down from the turmoil it had been in when he had first dialed Arthur's number.

"…and Gwaine told me that he is thinking of shifting majors. Again. Apparently he is now quite taken with the idea of becoming a lawyer. I mean, can you even imagine Gwaine in a courtroom? I think it would be downright hilarious…"

Before he knew it, Merlin's breathing had calmed down to normal, and he was even smiling at a few places. He made all the right noises at the right places - he didn't want Arthur to get bored. Arthur had chattered on for a good twenty minutes before he took a pause. Merlin was feeling a lot better now, thanks to Arthur, and he surprised himself and probably Arthur too when he actually said that aloud.

He waited for Arthur to make fun of him for being a sap, but Arthur only chuckled a little.

"I'm glad I could help," he replied, sounding genuinely happy about it. Merlin smiled to himself again.

"So," Arthur said after a pause, "are we talking about it or are we going into denial mode?"

Merlin's smile faded. He was in a fix, because he had sworn he was going to start talking to Arthur about his stuff. He definitely shared more now than he used to in the beginning, but this wasn't natural to him. And talking about it was only going to spoil his slightly improved mood again. On the other hand, he almost lived for these conversations with Arthur. He definitely did not want Arthur to stop.

"Merlin?" Arthur prompted when Merlin hadn't replied.

Merlin decided on being honest, because Arthur deserved that. If that brings their midnight specials to a stop, then that as what Merlin was probably destined for anyway.

"Er, denial mode please?" he asked tentatively, holding his breath for Arthur's response.

"Denial mode it is," Arthur said easily, and Merlin breathed again. He was surprised how readily Arthur accepted it. He was just starting to question his luck, when Arthur spoke again.

"But you need to promise me something, Merlin," he said. 'Oh. Here it comes,' Merlin thought. 'The other shoe is about to fall.'

"Yeah?"

"You'll call me the minute you need someone to listen to you. Promise?"

Merlin's breath caught in his throat and there was a strange burning in his eyes, as the word came out sounding strangled.

"Promise."

Notes:

Dedicated to my 4 a.m. friends :*

I have decided to give in and steal all my titles from LP songs. 15 year old me is celebrating this decision.

Also, Lord of the Muses, please let the Merthur happen in this verse! I need it more than the boys themselves.

Posted originally on AO3.