Author's Note: Hey guys, so I found myself struggling to write this chapter, not because I didn't know what to write about, but because I just couldn't stop procrastinating. I wrote a oneshot (which you guys should check out), I watched Honey Boo Boo, I did everything possible except write this chapter. So naturally I woke up at midnight and thought "This is it. I want to write this chapter." and I then spent the rest of the night typing it up, so I hope you guys enjoy! Special thanks to hollycomb, digimon, walwin and cortez30 who all reviewed my last chapters. (Be sure to leave a review for this chapter to get a shoutout) okay guys see you next time!
Kyle's eyes open instantaneously, making his pupils quickly adjust to the blinding white light that is obscuring his view. Once his eyesight corrects itself, he is shocked to see that he isn't tucked into his usual rigid hospital bed, which admittedly would have been preferable compared to whatever rough and rocky surface he has found himself laid upon right now. It isn't until he sees a snowflake land perfectly on top of his nose does he realize that he is outside, in the middle of a tremendous snow storm. When he slowly moves his head right he sees that he is laid on a road that feels suspiciously familiar. He's not quite sure why, but the road is making him feel agitated and nervous. It's just a normal road, isn't it? That's when it hits him. He's been here before.
He stands up, feeling every bone in his body protest to this sudden movement. He takes a moment to properly examine the location at which he's been placed. A blanket of thick fog has covered the region which, along with the harsh speed of the snow, is making it incredibly hard for Kyle to see anything at all. On one side of the road, Kyle can spot a mountainous landscape, with a bunch of trees in the foreground that appear to lead a pathway into the high mountains. He considers walking through these trees and away from the road that he dreads to be standing on, but reason tells him to stay put, that something significant is about to take place that he really wouldn't want to miss. On the other side of the road are a line of houses that Kyle instantly recognizes as South Park homes. He makes a quick sigh of relief, thinking that he is back home and safe.
Just then the fog around Kyle grows thicker, making it harder and harder for Kyle to see anything at all. He now has to rely on his senses to guide him as he makes an attempt to walk towards the houses; to safety. As soon as he starts to walk forward, he hears sirens coming from behind him. They start off as silent -barely audible- but slowly they become louder and more intense, to the point where Kyle has to cover his ears with his hands in the hope that it will lesson the impact that the deafening noise is having on him. He turns towards the sound in an attempt to see whatever is coming, and within seconds of Kyle turning, an ambulance drives straight through the fog and towards him at a dangerously fast speed. The driver of the ambulance doesn't seem to realize that Kyle is stood feet away from it, as it continues to drive forward. Kyle knows that he has no time to run out of the way, so he prepares himself as much as possible for the pain that he is about to feel. But instead of the ambulance hitting him and knocking him off of his feet, it drives straight through him, like he's not even there... like he is a ghost. But he can't be a ghost. He's real, he's... still alive. Isn't he?
The ambulance stops moving about a hundred feet from where Kyle is standing. Almost immediately do the medics begin to run out of the vehicle and through the fog surrounding them, making there whereabouts unseen to Kyle. Curious as to why the medics have stopped in the middle of the road, Kyle runs into the fog ahead of the ambulance and towards their positions, intending to follow them. As soon as he has caught up with them, he realizes why they came in the first place... there has been a car crash, by the looks of it one car has driven head-on into another. Kyle quickly recognizes one of the wrecked cars as his own! It is an old and cheap Chevrolet that was given to Kyle as a gift for his sixteenth birthday by his Father. He runs up to the battered car, taking great care in avoiding the medics who are surrounding the other vehicle. When his reaches his ruined Chevrolet, he is relieved to see that nobody is inside of it.
"Good..." Kyle whispers to himself, "At least no one was hurt."
However, his relief is soon replaced with horror as he sees that the steering wheel and windshield are drenched in a repulsive red substance that Kyle identifies as blood. He begins to feel extremely emotional, grieving the loss of his piece-of-shit car that his Father worked so hard to pay for him. When Kyle decides that he's seen enough of his own car, he slowly walks across to the other side of the road and towards the other wrecked car. He doesn't even try to hide himself from the medics now, as he is completely convinced that he must be a ghost. He must have died right here, and that blood on the steering wheel must be his own blood. He's dead.
When Kyle is halfway towards the other car he hears two medics talking to each other, he stops in his tracks and decides to eavesdrop on their conversation.
"Poor woman, it must have been such an awful way to go." one medic tells his co-worker. "but I think we can take solace in knowing that it would have at least been quick for her."
"Yeah..." the other medic adds.
"Something wrong, Trey?"
"No it's just..." Trey begins, "I think I went to school with this woman. I mean, her face is pretty messed up but I'm sure that it's her, Matt! Sharon Marsh... that's her name!"
Kyle feels sick to his stomach, falling to the ground and taking a moment to just sit there in the middle of the road while he takes in this news.
"No..." he says to himself, shaking his head in denial, "No she- she can't be- Sharon's not dead!"
He looks up in the direction of the wrecked car, and one glance confirms what the medic had been talking about... lying there with a vacant expression on her lifeless face is Sharon. Her eyes are wide open and she has dried-up blood running down the left side of her face. Kyle feels like he could puke, but when he leans over on his side and starts to gag, nothing leaves his mouth but the jaded puffs of air that the cold temperature has caused. The fog slowly begins to cover all of the medics, leaving only Kyle and Sharon in view. Kyle slowly stands on his feet and walks towards the corpse of his boyfriend's Mother. When he reaches the car he takes a moment to stop and look at her properly. He's only ever seen a dead person in the movies, and he planned to keep it that way until he was dead himself. There is something incredibly disturbing about the neutral look on her face. Kyle would have expected her to have a face showing pure fear like they do in the movies, but this is so lifelike, so realistic.
"I'm so sorry that this has happened to you." Kyle whispers to Sharon, as he reaches over and delicately closes her eyes, "I'll look after Stan, I swear."
Just as Kyle turns to walk away he hears snickering behind him. Shocked and confused, he quickly turns around, but no one is there besides Sharon, whose body is still trapped inside of the wreckage.
"Hello?!" Kyle shouts, trying to make himself sound as intimidating as possible to little success. "If someone's out there come out and face me, you pussy!"
He jumps when he hears snickering again, coming from inside of the smashed car. He reluctantly walks over to the wreckage, shaking slightly as he peaks through the back windows, checking the backseats of the car for intruders. Nothing. He then moves over to the front of the car and stares at Sharon sadly, examining her face for any further injuries and stopping when he sees something in her ear that resembles an earpiece. He reaches his hand up to touch it, and at that moment the supposedly dead Sharon breaks into a fit of laughter. Kyle screams and runs backwards.
"I'm sorry," Sharon says, wiping tears from her eyes as she laughs even harder, "I can't do this shit, did you see the look on the little faggot's face?"
"Mrs Marsh?!" Kyle asks hysterically, "What the fuck is going?"
Sharon gets out of the wrecked car with ease, and slowly begins to walk towards Kyle, "What the fuck is going on, what the fuck is going on?" she repeats Kyle in a mocking fashion. She still has dried blood on her face, which is smudged slightly from the tears of laughter moments ago. "I'll look after Stan, I swear" she mocks again, "you're so pathetic, Broflovski."
"Okay Sharon, I think we've scared the Jew enough for today" a familiar voice from behind Kyle shouts.
As Kyle turns around he is stunned to see Cartman sat in what looks like a director's chair. He is carrying a megaphone in one hand and a walkie-talkie in the other.
"Eric?" Kyle asks with a shaky voice, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Isn't it obvious, Jew?" Cartman asks, standing up, towering over Kyle, "this is called revenge."
"Revenge?!" Kyle repeats skeptically, "what the hell have I done, exactly?"
"You were born." Cartman says casually, "And you've been plaguing our lives with your existence ever since."
"But..." Kyle asks with tears running down his face, he turns to Sharon, "but why would you be in on this, too?"
"Because..." Sharon shouts as she shoves Kyle onto the ground, "You've ruined my sons life!"
"Stan?!" Kyle asks hysterically, "What's- what's wrong with Stan?"
"Oh, you don't remember do you?" Sharon demands, "you killed him, he's dead. That's what's wrong with him you scum!"
"No..." Kyle shouts in return, shaking his head as he gets back up onto his feet and begins to run away from Sharon and Cartman, who are both in complete fits of laughter, "Stan!" he shouts as he runs through the thickening fog towards Stan's house, the snowstorm is getting worse as he gets closer to his destination, "Stan-"
His shouting comes to a halt when he runs into two people, causing him to fall to the ground again. When he looks up he sees Stan and Wendy standing there in each others arms, kissing passionately amid the chaos. Kyle jumps back to his feet and tries to get Stan's attention.
"Stan, I thought you were dead!" he shouts with relief, but they both carry on kissing like Kyle isn't even there. "Stan?" he asks quietly, and he screams in horror when he sees that Stan is in fact dead and that Wendy is making out with his rotting corpse. "No, Stan- Let go of him- let go of him, you monster!" Kyle shouts pushing Wendy away from his boyfriend's lifeless body.
"Kyle!" Wendy shouts, like she is concerned for him, she runs up to him and shakes him by the shoulders, looking straight into his eyes, "Wake, up Kyle. Wake up!"
"Wake up, Kyle." Clara says, giving a sleeping Kyle a quick and gentle shake, "Today's the big day!"
Kyle groans in annoyance and informs Clara as politely as possible that he'll be ready in five minutes. Today is the day that he's allowed to go home, though he's secretly been dreading it. Being back home means that Kyle has no excuse not to go back to school, where he will eventually bump into Stan, who hasn't visited Kyle at all in the three days since he told Kyle about Sharon's demise. Kyle takes a moment in bed to think about the horrific dream that he has just woken up from. He's been having this dream every night since he woke up from the coma, and they keep getting more and more vivid each time. He has actually considered asking Clara for advice on how to deal with these kind of stressful dreams, but he guessed that he was probably over-exaggerating, and that the dreams would probably pass once Kyle has gotten over the initial shock of it all. Besides, Clara would probably recommend that he take some medication to battle the stress, which Kyle does not want at all. He's spent the last two years of his life being out of sync with the outside world, he doesn't want to lose who he is as a person again by being all medicated and loopy.
Kyle's family arrive to collect him an hour later. He had packed up and prepared everything in advance: his Get Well Soon cards, his clothes, and his toiletries... everything imaginable has been packed! The only thing that he hasn't prepared for his journey home was his sanity. He hasn't confided with anyone about this, but he has some fears and reservations about facing the outside world. He's missed two years of life outside of these hospital walls, so much could have happened. He feels like a caveman who has been found frozen in a block of ice thousands of years into the future. And what about when he faces all of his old friends? Will they have changed? Will they want to know all of the gruesome details involving the crash? Kyle isn't so sure that he's ready to face that just yet.
"Okay, looks like we're all set to go." Sheila says as Gerald takes Kyle's bags. Sheila turns to Clara, "Thank you so much for the hard work and dedication you've put towards helping my son, Dr Mephesto. Without you, I'm sure that we all would have fallen apart!"
"Oh..." Clara says with a shaky voice, wiping her eyes with some tissues. She is doing a terrible job at hiding the fact that she's crying, "that means the world to me Mrs Broflovski, and I'm so honored to have been given the chance to work with your son."
Sheila and Gerald leave the room and head towards the lobby of the hospital, where Ike is sat reading a book on micro-physics, giving Kyle and Clara some time on their own to say their goodbyes.
"So..." Kyle says after a few seconds of awkward silence. Clara is crying more openly now than she was when the others were here. She's probably scared of appearing unprofessional in front of Sheila. Honestly, Kyle can't blame her. "Hey, listen Clara. I just want to thank you-"
"Oh Kyle, you really don't need to!" Clara says.
"Yeah, but like- I do." Kyle insists, "I know I haven't known you for that long but you've been the only person that I can actually talk to like a normal person since I've woken up, and I appreciate that more than you could ever imagine. I know it sounds stupid but... you've kind of been like the big sister I never had to me."
Apparently, that last sentence pulled on Clara's heart strings, because as soon as Kyle said it she quickly jumped onto Kyle, hugging him tighter than he thought was actually possible. Kyle fidgets awkwardly for a few seconds, wondering if this pushes the boundaries of doctor/patient relationships, but eventually he decides to hug back, knowing that no harm could ever come from this. Although he had found her to be a bit pretentious at first, she really has been a blessing in disguise, being the only person in the ward that Kyle could feel comfortable enough with to be himself around.
When Kyle has said his goodbyes he heads down to the lobby to meet his family and begin their trip home. Kyle is enjoying the sensation of being able to walk for the first time in two years a lot more than he thought he would, and by the time he gets to the lobby he's practically skipping. Kyle looks up and down the large room until he finds his family. Ike and Gerald are stood near the entrance of the hospital, talking about something that looks pretty heavy -Gerald is probably advising the twelve year old on future career prospects- and Sheila is over at reception signing some hospital discharge forms. Kyle walks over to her and greets her with a smile when she looks up from the papers.
"So that was weird..." Kyle says casually, "You know with Clara- uh, Dr Mephesto getting all emotional and stuff."
"Oi..." Sheila sighs as she scribbles her signature on the forms, "She's certainly a very expressive woman but the thing that you have to remember Kyle is that she's worked with you nearly twelve hours a day for the past two years of her life. I know it doesn't feel like that to you but it does to us, trust me."
Hearing this makes Kyle feel incredibly guilty, which is ridiculous. It's not like he had any say in the matter about being put into a coma for two years. It's not like he purposely decided to drive his Chevrolet straight into the car of his boyfriend's Mother. But these things happen. Nonetheless, Kyle still feels guilty. And he will probably continue to feel guilty about this for many days to come. He needs some air, and fast.
"I think I'm going to walk home." Kyle tells his Mother.
"What- what- WHAT?!" Sheila asks.
"I know it seems crazy but I feel like the fact that I'm walking right now is sort of a miracle, and I want to make the most of it. But you guys can drive back I don't mind, I need some time to myself anyway."
"Well..." Sheila says, showing her thinking face, "okay. But promise me you'll be careful, bubby? And you've got your mobile phone so you can call me if there is any trouble!"
"Ah Mah, you know I will." Kyle says, "I'm going to go get a head-start now, maybe I'll even get there before you do!" And after explaining his plan to walk with his Father he leaves through the Hospital's entrance, hoping to never step a foot in that horrible place again until he dies as an old man, sat in his rocking chair and reminiscing about his younger days.
When Kyle steps outside, he feels overwhelmed by all of the simple parts of life that he hasn't experienced in two years, the stuff that he took for granted before: the way the cool breeze feels on his skin, the sound of snow crunching as you step on it, the sound of engines running as the cars drive past, travelling to some unknown destination. When Kyle thinks about getting inside of a car again he gets an uneasy feeling at the pit of his stomach. Suddenly very pleased with himself that he decided to take the long route and walk. He wouldn't say that he's been put off of riding in a car ever again because of the crash, but now he certainly feels a lot more aware of the dangers of driving.
As he begins his ten minute walk from the hospital to his house, Kyle thinks about Stan. It must have been a horrible period in Stan's life that started on that fateful day two years ago, he would have had to deal with losing his Mother and potentially losing his boyfriend alone. Randy certainly wouldn't have helped his child get through a loss that big after what he saw Stan doing to Kyle. Kyle knows for sure that he himself wouldn't have been able to deal with a loss that devastating, a pain that runs so deeply in the back of your mind that it could drive you insane. And who knows, maybe Stan hasn't dealt with it very well at all. Kyle remembers distinctively smelling liquor on Stan's breath the night that Kyle woke up. Kyle stops in his tracks, remembering Stan's struggles with alcoholism when he was younger. Kyle thinks back to the night many years ago when he found Stan passed out, laid in his own puke, an empty bottle of vodka by his side. Kyle had to spend the whole night cleaning up the mess that his best friend had left, and then he had to clean Stan himself, who was distraught and ashamed of himself for letting his problem get this far. Regardless, he let Kyle bathe him and clean his home. This was before Stan and Kyle were even a couple, they have always been comfortable around each other, to the point where one could strip naked and get into the bathtub while the other cleaned him. Kyle also remembers the pride and the new wave of confidence that Stan carried with him after he had gone a whole year without touching the bottle, it would break Kyle's heart if Stan had relapsed. But Stan has Wendy now. Of course he's fine.
When Kyle is halfway through his walk home he is somewhat thrilled yet equally as nervous when he sees Kenny and Butters walking in front of him. Even though they aren't holding hands, Kyle can tell that there is something different about them. Something special. It's just the way that they walk closer to each other than necessary, or the way they are walking in sync even though Kenny's walking pace is usually a lot faster than Butters'. After taking a deep breath, Kyle runs up towards them and taps them both on the shoulder, eagerly awaiting their responses.
They both turn around together looking somewhat annoyed, probably expecting Kyle to be some salesman looking to get a cheap gig out of two easily impressionable boys. Although they both seem surprised to see Kyle stood there looking at them with a big, cheesy grin on his face, Butters' reaction is a lot more drastic, and honestly... a lot more humorous than Kenny's.
"Oh hamburgers!" Butters shouts, pointing at Kyle, "Kyle's come back from the- uh from the dead! I'm real sorry Kyle, I didn't mean to harm you or nothin' when you were alive, honest! Please don't haunt me, my Dad will, ah- he'll ground me if he knew I was being haunted! Have mercy!"
"Butters, relax. Kyle isn't a zombie or a ghost, he was never dead in the first place, remember?" Kenny asks his boyfriend, rubbing his shoulders in an attempt to calm him down, which seems to work. "Now, let's see what we've got here." Kenny says in a much more authoritative tone, walking over so that he is facing Kyle. "Broflovski."
"McCormick." Kyle says in a deadpan tone to match Kenny's.
"You're looking well." Kenny says.
"As are you." replies Kyle. Butters is standing, watching the two in the background, rubbing his knuckles together in the awkward way he used to do when he was a child whenever he felt uncomfortable.
"Well..." Kenny says, "just because you were in a coma doesn't mean I have to hug first, because I'm not going to."
"Fine, then I won't hug first either."
"Fine."
The two then playfully look away from each other, pretending to be mad at each other even though they are both obviously very pleased to see one another again. After a few seconds, Kyle is the first to break into a fit of laughter as always. Kenny sees that he has won this battle and then joins Kyle in the laughter.
"C'mere, man." Kenny says, opening his arms for his friend. Kyle accepts Kenny's hug, laughing into his friends shoulder at how happy he feels to finally be reunited with his friend after so long. You would think that Kyle had grown sick of all of the tight hugs and tearful reunions, but honestly it just makes him feel so loved. So important. So wanted. Which is something Kyle can honestly say he's never felt before, unless you count all the times when he was alone with Stan. "How have you been?"
"Oh, you know..." Kyle says, releasing himself from the man-hug, "Comatose. You?"
"Oh, you know..." Kenny says in a playfully mocking tone, "Stotchatose." he says, looking over at Butters who is blushing slightly, smiling after just watching his boyfriend and his friend meet for the first time in two years.
"Yeah, I heard about that." Kyle adds.
"You heard?" Kenny asks with curiosity, "from who? Was it the nurse who walked in on us fooling around in the toilet-stall that one time when we came to visit you?"
"Okay- first of all, gross. That is disgusting. But I'm glad that you visited me, thanks for that." Kyle says with a giggle, "And secondly no, my Mom saw you both holding hands or something while you were walking down a street. Needless to say she almost collapsed with shock."
"I can imagine." Kenny says with laughter, he is then silent for a moment, as if he is contemplating whether to ask the question that Kyle had been anticipating since he saw the two. "So..." Kenny begins, sounding rather serious, "have you seen Stan since you woke up?"
"Yeah..." Kyle says with a sigh, "he, uh- he visited me the night I woke up, actually."
"And?"
Kyle doesn't know how to reply to that, he can feel tears forming in his eyes and he has to mentally stop himself from breaking down infront of Butters. He shrugs his shoulders in response to Kenny, who Kyle knows can understand just from that one simple movement that things didn't exactly go well.
"I see." Kenny says, shaking his head, "you two will sort things out, you always do."
"I'm not so sure about that..." Kyle says, "he didn't even seem mad at me for killing his Mom, that's the thing-"
"Shit, Kyle." Kenny says, hugging Kyle again when Kyle breaks into tears, covering his face with his hands to protect whatever dignity he still has left. Kenny won't try to tell Kyle that he didn't kill Stan's Mom, because he knows it's pointless. Kyle is a stubborn person who will argue just for the sake of arguing, which is part of the reason why Kenny became such good friends with him, he loves his attitude.
"No- I'm okay, I'm okay." Kyle says, pushing Kenny off of him gently, then wiping his eyes with his winter coat. "I just- I don't know. How- how has Stan been? Since I've been gone?"
"Well... he was quiet for a long time." Kenny says, "It's like he just sort of- gave up on life. Like he was just going through the motions of life without even realizing what was happening. Even while he was with Wendy he didn't seem to care about what was going on. If you ask me, he went to her because she was an easy backup plan for him, she was the person who would take him back and hold him when he didn't have you to turn to."
Hearing this makes Kyle blush furiously, and he quickly looks away when he sees that Butters is looking at him with curiosity. He doesn't know why he still has to hide his feelings for Stan. Pretty much everyone in South Park has known since they were kids that Kyle loves Stan. And he always will.
"I've been uh- having this dreams." Kyle says, feeling like he needs to talk about those night terrors with someone, and if he can trust anybody, he can trust Kenny. He may not have had the best childhood, and he may not have had the same luxuries as the other boys in class. But Kenny is definitely experienced, and he knows what he is talking about a lot of the time, even if he pretends that he doesn't. "I've been having these dreams where I'm at the car crash, like, I'm walking around it and everything, and in every dream, I always see Sharon in her car, looking all bloody and dead and- sometimes she's actually alive and just pranking me, but other times she's actually dead. And these dreams just keep getting worse and worse and I- I don't know what to do about it."
Kenny thinks about this for a moment, taking in to account all of the information that Kyle has just given him. But he can't think of a single thing to say, how do you help someone get over the fact that they're somewhat responsible for another person's death? Kenny looks to Butters for help, was has been stood beside Kenny, quietly listening to the two teens as they talked about their problems. Butters thinks for a while before coming up with a solution.
"Did you try visiting her grave?" Butters asks in his usual innocent tone.
"No, I'm, uh..., I'm not sure if I can yet-" Kyle says.
"I only asked because, I uh, had this rabbit called Mr Squibbles when I was ten, and uh- this one time my parents grounded me for not cleaning the house when they told me to and they didn't let me feed Mr Squibbles for a whole week. And he died. And I got to feeling real upset about it. But then, when I wasn't grounded no more... I went and visited the little grave that Dad had dug up for Mr- Mr Squibbles, and I told him how sorry I was that I couldn't feed him for that week... and then I didn't feel so bad no more. I mean, yeah it still hurt a lot but it was like, I felt relieved, you know? Like a- like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders."
Kyle, along with Kenny is speechless at what Butters has just revealed to the two. Butters is just stood there, happily swinging his arms like he hasn't got a care in the world. Kyle feels bad for always underestimating Butters, despite what Kenny has been through, Butters is the one who had the toughest time growing up. Not only was he forced by his parents to work around the house until his hands were red and raw, but he also had to deal with years of bullying from his old classmates who -including Kyle- had no idea what kind of life Butters was leading. It was all just a game to the boys who would push Butters over and steal any lunch money that he had on him. Yet Butters still got up and wiped his knees, still smiling even after everything he'd been through. Butters has something which Kyle wishes he could have; the drive to move on even through the toughest of times.
"That's..." Kyle begins, "actually not a bad idea. Thanks Butters."
"Gee, Kyle. Whatcha thanking me for?" Butters asks, a genuine look of confusion is spread across his face.
"Because you're amazing," Kenny answers for Kyle, taking Butters into his arms and swinging him around, before lightly kissing him. Kyle feels something scrape across his heart which he can only describe as jealousy. Jealous that his two friends share something so sacred when he's got nothing. Still, he's happy for Kenny. Pleased that he's found someone that he actually deserves and not someone who would just use Kenny for sexual favors like before. Admittedly, Kyle was worried for his friend at the time. Worried that one day Kyle would wake up to the news that Kenny had been murdered by some psychopath that he would go and meet. But in the end, Kenny's done good for himself. Kyle thinks it would have broken him if he woke up from the coma to find that something had happened to either one of his friends, but so far everything seems as normal as it was when he left. Or at least, as normal as South Park will ever be.
"Well I should go" Kyle says, "my Mom will probably start a search team if I don't go back soon. It was great seeing you guys."
"Okay man, see you later- oh wait Kyle!" Kenny shouts, as if he has just remembered something vitally important to tell Kyle, "Clyde's having a party tomorrow, you should come. I think everyone will be pleased to see you."
"I'll think about it, see you two later."
When Kyle gets home he is extremely relieved to see that Sheila hasn't arranged some kind of surprise party for him. He thinks he has had enough attention for one day, and he slowly walks upstairs towards his bedroom after telling him Mother that he is back and in one piece. When he walks through his bedroom he is genuinely shocked yet touched to see that everything is pretty much the way he left it, he had expected Sheila to have turned it into a guest room already. But the Einstein poster is still intact, the pile of uncompleted homework that was set two years ago are still stacked up on Kyle desk, even his bed sheets are unmade, just as he left them. Kyle moves over to sit down onto his bed for the first time in years, feeling particularly nostalgic about this bed. It's the bed that Kyle lost his virginity in. Kyle has very fond memories about that night, although it was awkward and sweaty, it was absolutely perfect. Kyle wouldn't change anything about that night for the world. Stan had been so gentle with him, treating him like a delicate flower, only starting to move when Kyle was sure that he was ready, and throughout the whole thing they shared an intimate kind of eye contact. It was the most connected Kyle had ever felt to anyone before, and it's probably the most connected he'll ever feel towards anyone ever again. Kyle would sleep on this bed now, if he didn't have such a fear that he would have the dream again.
He thinks about what Butters had said to him earlier, about Mr Squibbles and visiting his grave. Maybe Kyle should visit Sharon's grave, a visit is probably long overdue anyway. And he feels like he owes it not only to Sharon but to himself also to put these dreams to rest once and for all. He gets up off of the bed and quickly hurries outside of the house, not wanting his Mother to know where he plans to go. He needs to do this alone if he's ever going to truly move on. He just hopes that Stan isn't there, he can't deal with the awkward conversations just yet.
Kyle arrives at the South Park Cemetery in five minutes, and he hesitates before walking through the giant, rusty metal gates of the graveyard. It is lightly snowing and Kyle has to pull out his green ushanka from his pocket and put it onto his head to protect himself from the cold. The snow is dampening the mud, making it harder for Kyle to walk through the long lines of gravestones as he tries desperately to find Sharon's. He eventually does find the gravestone, however. It is placed next to an old apple tree that looks old and fragile, like the lightest climb would cause the tree to collapse. The gravestone reads in bold letters:
IN LOVING MEMORY OF SHARON MARSH
LOVING MOTHER AND WIFE.
1972 - 2012
Kyle can only stare at the gravestone in disbelief. Even now, even after seeing the grief in Stan's eyes and after the seeing exhaustion in his Mother's eyes does this whole situation still feel bizarre and unreal. There is so much evidence telling Kyle that he is responsible for Sharon's death, yet there is that little glimmer of hope that tells him otherwise. Despite Stan's best efforts to put Kyle's theory to rest, Kyle does remember Randy shouting for Sharon after he had hit Stan's wall. You wouldn't do that unless you came home with the woman. But Kyle quickly gets rid of these negative thoughts, deeming them as inappropriate given his current location. He kneels down and pats the gravestone sympathetically, wishing that he had brought flowers or something to show his respects to the diseased. He stands back up again and clears his throat.
"Uh... hi, Mrs Marsh." Kyle says, not quiet sure whether he's supposed to pay his respects out loud or say them in his thoughts, he decides to go with the first option, "or I guess I should say Sharon, seeing as I can remember when you'd always moan at me every time I saw you if I ever called you Mrs Marsh." Kyle smiles sadly at this memory, "You said I was like family to you, and family call each other by their names." he can feel tears forming in his eyes again for what must be the hundredth time since he has woken up, "I guess I came here firstly to tell you how sorry I am, I know that you wouldn't be mad at me for this- I know that. But- you wouldn't be mad at me right?" Kyle asks, not expecting an answer, "I mean it was an accident, you know that, right?" Again, no reply. "I just wish that there were a way for me to swap places with you. So that I'd be dead and you'd be the one in the coma for two years." he says, "No- actually no that was a horrible thing for me to say, what I mean was I wish that you were never put into this situation in the first place. If I hadn't gotten into my car after the fight I had with your husband then you wouldn't be dead right now and Stan's life wouldn't be completely fucked and everyone would be so fucking happy." he stops speaking, wiping his tears and collecting his thoughts for a second, "sorry for the language. I know you used to hate it whenever we swore. And you know, I didn't just come here to apologize, I came to tell you something that I've never told anyone before and that is-" he stops, trying to stop himself from having a complete breakdown, "And that is-" he stops again, "and that is that you were like a second Mom to me, and I loved you and I just wish you'd come back. Please, please come back... you know, I had this dream last night that you were dead in your car but then you wasn't and it was all a trick just to get back at me. And I really, really wish that dream was real right now. Even the parts where you were mad at me, because I deserve it. I'm a terrible, terrible person for what I've done to your family and I deserve every bad fucking thing that I get!" Kyle is now completely crying over the gravestone, making no attempt now to stop because he knows that he is unable to.
"What the fuck is this?" a familiar voice asks from behind Kyle. For a second Kyle almost believes that his dream has come true, that behind him is going to be Sharon who has tricked him into thinking that she is dead. But when Kyle does turn around he is horrified to see Randy stood there, carrying a bunch of flowers. He looks a lot older than Kyle remembers, and he is using a walking stick to balance his weight on. When Randy sees Kyle staring at his walking stick, he scoffs, "you see this?" he says, throwing the walking stick in Kyle's face before quickly putting it back onto the ground to support his weight, "I got this just after Sharon died, when I heard that she was gone I kicked my TV screen until I couldn't feel my leg anymore. It busted my leg up pretty bad, so now I have to use this. Forever. What do you think of that?"
Kyle doesn't know what to say, the walking stick only adds to Randy's intimidating presence, and he considers running away. But that would just prove to Randy that Kyle is a coward who was never right for his son. He can't let Randy win.
"Well?" Randy asks, Kyle says nothing. "What about Sharon? Do you have anything to say to her? You know, the woman you killed?"
"I- I apologized to her." Kyle mutters.
"You apologized to her?" Randy screams, "well that's just great isn't it? You apologized to her, fucking brilliant. And what did she say?"
"I don't think-"
"What did she say, faggot?" Randy demands.
"Nothing." Kyle shouts.
"Nothing?" Randy repeats, when Kyle nods he shows a sinister smile, "Well let's see what Sharon has to say now", and with that Randy falls onto Kyle, pushing him down onto the cold, wet dirt. Kyle tries to scream but he can't. He won't let Randy win. Randy drags Kyle by the hair and pushes his face into the dirt just under Sharon's headstone, rubbing his face in it. Kyle tries to scurry away but Randy lifts his head up and then pushes it down into the dirt more violently. "Can you see how sorry he is now, Sharon?" Randy screams to nothing. "This is what you are, faggot. You're dirt. No, you're worse than that, you're nothing. And you always will be." he then lets go of Kyle's hair and uses his walking stick to get back onto his feet, "Now you stay there in the dirt where you belong, faggot. And if I see you move before I've gone, I'll kill you." So Kyle stays there, even after Randy has gone Kyle stays, the snowstorm freezing his face but he doesn't care. He's going to stay laid in this dirt where he belongs. Not a single tear fell from Kyle's eyes during that struggle. He won. He won.