So yeah. This is it, everybody who made my life the living hell I just couldn't bear through.

I'm just...I'm really tired.

I feel an ache in my bones, an itch in my soul, and pain in my heart.

I know it was maybe supposed to get better.

That's why I hadn't done it sooner, I was always hoping that one day, I would wake up, suddenly all my troubles would be poofed away, and I would have the strength and the happiness to keep going.

But I've always been really impatient.

I decided I would do it after Gilbert beat me up, which was also the day my Grandpa called me an "Idiot who can't even pass choir", which was also a Friday, meaning that Feliciano was leaving, which was also the day I heard a rumor going around choir that I liked Antonio.

I spent a good long time laying away that night.

Weighing the pros and the cons.

And once I realized, everything would be better if I killed myself, I started crying. And to calm myself down, I tried pulling up any happy memory I could think of.

Some of them are on this list.

Papa pushing me on the swing, Mama sitting on a bench besides us while cradling baby Feli, and a picture perfect orange sunset behind us.

Matthew telling me he was going to stop cutting, and I felt relieved and happy, and proud, because I thought I had saved his life.

My first show choir performance. I didn't have a solo, but I was happy anyway, because Grandpa was right there with a camcorder filming the whole thing.

It really shows you, the world isn't just black and white.

And I guess even assholes can be good people.

But of course, the ones above didn't calm me down much, because then I thought about how they had either betrayed me, or left me, and I started crying even harder.

The ones that really worked.

Are the ones that are going to be kept a secret.

Because real heroes don't want credit.

So.

Goodbye world...

I'm sorry I never got to see Rome, or adopt a horse, or go to Disney, or throw myself out a plane like I always planned to.

I guess..

I just...

I won't have any dreams, or nightmares anymore.

Now.

It's time to just sleep.

Hey guys! I have to say, last chapter was my least favorite, but this is my favorite. Simply, because we see Lovino's not doing this just because some bad people did some bad stuff to him, he's doing it because he just, lost his will to live, he feels like there isn't anything in it anymore. Anyway, yes, this is the note of Lovino's suicide packet, but! There is more! Those apology notes he talked about. If you guys want to see them, 5 reviews, it'll be up by tomorrow, 3 reviews, it'll be up in 2 days, 10 reviews, and it will be up by 10 (remember eastern standard time) tonight. Also, there's an epilogue I've been writing, but it's not really a note, it's basically what happened after Lovino suicide, do you guys want to see it?