2.
Captain Haddock is Tintin's dearest friend and he trusts him with everything. Tintin was never able to open up very much, really, but he has a special trust in the Captain that no one else could ever duplicate. They would do anything for each other.
There is no one who means more to Tintin than the Captain. The two have been spending more and more time together- almost every day now- and whenever the youth goes chasing after adventure, the Captain is always there by his side, helping him and protecting him, even though there is nothing forcing him to. They are inseparable.
However, the youth has kept his secret so diligently that even the closeness he shares with Captain Haddock hasn't given it away. The sailor who has been Tintin's constant companion and the only man he's truly been able to place his trust and faith in has no idea that he has such a secret, that his body is the way it is.
And now Tintin has started to wonder if he should tell him. Not because he feels guilty for keeping his secret, of course, because that is his own secret to keep dear and no one is ever even supposed to know but Tintin himself. It's that he wants to share that vital piece of himself. It is the first time in his life he has ever faced such a feeling, such a desire. He never wanted to get close to anyone, but now... something has changed.
Tintin stands before his bathroom mirror, staring at the pale face staring back at him. He honestly thinks it would be foolish to tell the Captain, and because of that, he is torn.
The world might not accept Tintin, but the Captain is not the world. But that's the trouble, really. There is no one who's like the Captain, nobody who could ever take his place. What if he can't accept it either? What if he's angry at him for keeping this from him? What if he doesn't want anything more to do with him?
Tintin closes his eyes- just to keep from having to see the expression on his own face when he thinks these things. His emotions aren't easily stirred, so feeling this way is new and baffling and uncomfortable to him. He doesn't like it at all.
He collects himself and opens his eyes again, looks at his face and contemplates his features. He has such a smooth, round face- a "baby-face", some have said- and his blue-grey eyes and pronounced little nose could belong to a girl or a boy. There really isn't any difference, is there? If he grew out his hair, wouldn't he look just like a girl?
He can't imagine himself as a girl, though. It would seem odd to anyone else, but even when he takes off all of his clothing and backs against the wall so he can see more of himself in the little mirror, he can't think of himself being a girl. His small breasts and slight curves don't do anything to convince him that he ought to be a girl, that he ever could be a girl.
Tintin shakes his head and steps into the bathtub. This has never been an issue for him before. Why is he worrying about it now?
Well, the answer is obvious, of course. He is concerned about Captain Haddock and what he would think- what he will think, when he tells him. He wishes it didn't have to be an issue, that his body would have just agreed with him on the fact that he's a boy, but there's no changing the way things are.
Tintin sinks into the warm water and leans against the wall of the bathtub. He can't stop thinking about it now. He can't stop wondering what will happen, how the Captain will react. And for the first time, truly, he wonders why someone who is clearly a boy should have to have the body of a girl.
After his bath, Tintin dries himself off, bandages his chest up tight, and gets dressed. He whistles to wake up Snowy, grabs his wallet and keys, and then pulls on his coat, going over his checklist in his mind. With everything done, he sets off to visit the Captain at Marlinspike Hall.
Tintin has every intention of telling his dear companion this afternoon. He wants to share his secret with him, even though he is still concerned about what will happen when he does. He doesn't want to admit it, even to himself, but he is.
He keeps on thinking about it as he gets on the train, and all through the ride there. He watches the trees and countryside rush by and he carefully plans out everything he's going to say, and tries to predict how Captain Haddock might react to different approaches. He feels knots in his stomach- another new and strange feeling, it's very odd to him.
Of course, Tintin knows Captain Haddock very well by now, and he knows that he isn't a very judgmental person, really. But there is a tendency for one's mind to run away with him, always to the most terrible places, and by now it's crafted so many ways for this to end poorly that Tintin is starting to reconsider telling his companion at all.
By the time the train arrives in the station at Marlinspike, Tintin has planned exactly what he wants to say. He only has to say it. And that's really the hard part, especially since the logical part of him, the part that knows it's a secret for a reason and wants to keep it that way, has been trying to talk him out of it since he made the decision to tell the Captain in the first place.
Snowy hops down onto the platform after him, and together the two start off through the little picturesque town to the handsome old château. The air is chilly this afternoon, and the leaves are just starting to change color for autumn. It helps Tintin feel more relaxed.
By the time he and Snowy reach Marlinspike Hall, Tintin looks like the picture of confidence, just like he's supposed to. Just like he does most always, really. He walks down the path across the courtyard, past all the autumn-colored trees, up to the house itself, and knocks on the door.
In a moment, Nestor answers it cordially. He takes Tintin's coat and then goes to fetch Captain Haddock. Tintin is left alone with Snowy for a moment, but his look of confidence never fades.
Captain Haddock comes in just a moment later. He greets him warmly, like always. There's a big smile on his face, and he clasps the youth's hand and leads him eagerly into the parlor because he has something new to show him and tell him about.
Tintin can't help but smile, and he follows Captain Haddock without asking where they are going. He's learned his lesson about asking what the Captain wants to show him; he won't ever be told, but he will always find out soon, and the Captain does love surprising him.
It turns out to be an intriguing African artifact he'd found with the antiques in the basement, and oh, he'd just known Tintin would love it. There's a story to it, and after examining and discussing it, they get caught up in a whirl of excitement and curiosity and go down to the basement to go through the other things down there. It's a treasure hunt, and it keeps the two of them happy and excited and busy all afternoon, and well into the evening.
What Tintin had come to tell the Captain couldn't be further from his mind. The only thing that stops them- that could have stopped them- is Nestor coming down to inform Tintin that he would miss the last train of the day if he doesn't head off soon.
Captain Haddock offers to drive him, to ensure that he catches it. Tintin agrees, reluctantly setting down an ornate old urn he'd been examining, and the two of them take their coats and set out together. On the way out, the Captain remembers the artifact- he rushes back to the parlour and surprises Tintin with it, insisting he keep it as his gift to him.
Tintin is unable to argue. He accepts it gratefully, feeling surprisingly warmed by the gift, and then the two are off.
All throughout the drive, the two talk happily about their afternoon together and all the things they'd discovered without even having to leave the comfort of home. They'll have to do this again soon, they decide, because there are still so many treasures yet to be discovered- not only in the basement, but throughout the beautiful and ancient château. There are antiques left behind by the Birds, and more importantly, artifacts left behind by Captain Haddock's ancestors.
Haddock offers gently to let Tintin stay the night, but Tintin has a few errands in Brussels in the morning, so he tells him it would be better if he stayed at home tonight. He thanks his dear companion, lightly touches his arm, and suddenly remembers what he'd come out to tell him just this afternoon.
Tintin takes a deep breath and tries to spit it out, but he just can't seem to, can't gather the confidence and remember the words he'd practiced so carefully on the train earlier today. Before he can even try, they've arrived at the station, and Tintin thanks Haddock warmly and bids him goodnight before getting out of the car, followed closely by his loyal dog.
Silently, he curses his own weakness. He has never had a problem like this before. He has never wanted to tell anyone his own secret before. And he has certainly never faced something he wasn't completely sure he could overcome before.
Tintin watches the Captain drive away and tries to remember what he'd planned to say. Perhaps if he repeats it all night tonight, he can say it tomorrow after his errands. Perhaps.